AN1: Written for the February 2nd Prompt of the Day back in Hogwarts Online II.
AN2: Regulus and I had a fight. He just too "good" Personally I prefer Arc or Cory than Reg.
The Black Gamp Family
Part III of III
Regulus Black I
(1906-1959)
Summary: For Arcturus he feels brotherly love for Lycoris, and hatred for Regulus. As for Lycoris is adulterated love for Arc, and indifference for Reg. But for Regulus is sadness for both of his sibilings, who don't see him worthy as a Black. But who said being a Black was easy?
It is possible for a newborn baby to feel unloved, unwanted and ignored.
Regulus had felt all these feelings since he could remember. He knew that he was the cause of his mother's death. He knew that Arcturus hated him for it. His father didn't even look his way – he was always drunk and it was as though Regulus didn't exist. As for his older sister, she was too preoccupied with losing Arcturus' attention that she didn't take the time to know him.
From a very young age, Reg hated himself as well. He sometimes wished that he had never been born at all. His life when he was younger – well all of his life – was horrible. Arcturus was determined to make him feel bad about killing his mum. Did he honestly think that he had done it on purpose? Of course not! It wasn't his intention to make his mum die. He really didn't know how he did it, but he would take it back. If he had the power to turn back time, he would, so his mum would live.
...
The whole Black family didn't want him. Regulus was a smart boy; he knew that fact since he was young.
And he had learned to live with that. What else could he do?
Cry?
No, that wasn't acceptable for a Black. They couldn't show emotions or weakness, and tears were definitely a sign of both.
But even though he wasn't considered worthy of having the name, he still worked hard to show his father, uncle, aunt and especially his brother that he was worthy of bearing the Black name. That he Regulus could be a good Black.
So he didn't dare throw a tantrum. In his mind, he knew that he had to be the well-behaved one. Because if everybody blamed him for murder, well he could only redeem himself by being the most obedient Black. No one could blame him for breaking the expensive bottles that his father drank from, or for sneaking out of his room so he could play in the Black gardens at night. Or for eating the last piece of raspberry pie.
But he didn't expect to incur bad consequences from his older siblings. While the grown ups had forgotten the fact that he had killed, Arcturus had hated him even more for being the "Perfect Black". For getting attention from the adults. Especially from Melania Macmillian.
Regulus had to pay the price.
Of course he was used to having his brother hit him.
All his life, Regulus had received a daily pinch in the mornings, a punch while going down to eat lunch, and a pull at his hair while he had finished his dinner. Of course there was the occasional kick and the slap, and the attempts to trip him.
Regulus was used to it. He didn't know any other way.
...
But sometimes his faithful elf, Kreacher was there to keep him safe and stop Arcturus from hitting him.
Reg cared for him a lot. Kreacher was his first friend – he had been like a parent! He had shown him how to walk, how to talk, but that made Regulus talk like a house elf, so they had gotten another tutor for that. His faithful elf had been there since he was a baby.
Regulus cherished him deeply.
"Is good, young Master Regulus is. Yes, Kreacher knows that young Master is nice, Kreacher cares for Master," he would say to Regulus when the boy couldn't take it anymore. Regulus would lie in his bed, letting the tears run freely. "Master should not cry, very good boy is Master. Kreacher knows that Master is a very good Black. Kreacher is proud to be Master Regulus' elf."
And Kreacher was always there. He had even encouraged Reg to talk to and be more friendly with his cousin Pollux. The younger boy was wary of him because Arcturus and Lycoris had made sure their cousin wouldn't talk to Regulus. But fortunately Pollux saw the "real" Regulus just like Kreacher could.
...
Their first real interaction without being watched was very awkward for both of them. They were in the Black garden, and Kreacher had pushed Regulus forward so he could talk to Pollux.
"Uhm, hi," Regulus whispered to his younger cousin.
Pollux was sitting by the gates of the Manor, playing with the wet dirt that the rain had left the night before. Looking up from making his mud castles, he looked surprised and afraid that Regulus was talking to him.
Regulus turned back to look at Kreacher with helpless eyes, but Kreacher just waved his hands, telling him to continue.
So with much courage he sat next to Pollux.
"Mud castles, I like making mud castles too," he told his cousin while helping him make the bridge.
Pollux's eyes widened at this and he smiled, forgetting all the bad things that Arc and Cory had told him. "I was planning to build another one, wanna help?"
And from then on, he and Regulus always played in the Black garden, building magnificent mud castles.
...
When Arcturus left for Hogwarts, Regulus could finally sleep well. There were no pinches or slaps – not even kicks!
Regulus and Poe could have their castles untouched and still standing for day or two, without the fear that Arcturus would stomp on them.
But he would always come back and be downright cruel to his brother. And the beatings would resume, each more painful then the last.
Pollux would always get mad, telling Reg that he needed to defend himself, that a Black should defend himself, even if it meant defending against another Black.
But Poe didn't understand. Regulus couldn't defend himself – he didn't want his brother to hate him even more.
...
He had thought that his sister would talk to him. He wanted to show her that he was nice. He really wanted Lycoris to play with him and Pollux, but she was mean as well. Regulus should have seen it coming, but it hurt. The way that she said those hurtful words about him, that he was a disgrace, that he was the most horrible Black of them all, that he would never pay for what he did to their mother even if he was a "good" Black... It wasn't enough. It never would be.
"Come on, Reg, you know that Cory is always worried about Arc, especially now. They are always together. And anyway, she's a girl, she wouldn't be able to handle throwing dirt," Pollux would always say to him. And Regulus would just nod and smile and they both would head to the Black gardens to play.
Regulus felt sadness for Lycoris. He really had the heart to play with and talk to Lycoris. She was his sister after all. But he knew that she would never acknowledge it.
So if Arcturus and Lycoris didn't want to be his brother and sister, then that was fine. He had Kreacher and Pollux.
Pollux always cheered him up, telling him that when they got into Hogwarts, Regulus would have to let loose, because in there they would have no pressure at all. Because wherever a Black went, they were respected and people turned a blind eye when they did something wrong – or that was what his uncle Cygnus would say to them.
...
When his time came to go to Hogwarts, he had been worried but excited at the same time. Kreacher had woken him up early and he had ironed all his clothes. "Needs to be clean, Master. Proud is Kreacher that Master is going to Hogwarts. Kreacher will miss Master." The elf started to cry, but Regulus assured him that he would write. "But Master, Kreacher does not read." Fresh tears appeared.
"I bet Cassy or Marius would read the letters, and I promise I'll visit at Christmas."
Regulus kept his promise; he did visit during his Christmas vacation. And he told Kreacher about his infatuation with Irma Crabbe.
...
Pollux and Regulus were brothers. They were best friends and they told each other everything.
But he had a feeling he couldn't tell Poe about Irma.
He wanted to keep this to himself.
She always had a smile on her face. Her blue eyes were always looking his way. And her brown hair smelled of blueberries. He felt tingly inside and he felt himself going red just being at her side.
With her he felt love and that someone cared for him, she wanted his attention. She would always look for him to simply talk or study.
The feelings that came with Irma were so new for him. This attention he received from her was new and so strange. He wasn't used to it. It was one thing that Pollux and Kreacher cared for him. That was family But Irma? Now that was something more. It was stronger. It was ecstasy.
...
He received his first kiss when he was thirteen.
It was like there had been fireworks, and he was flying.
They were at the Astronomy Tower when it happened. It felt right, and there was nothing wrong with it. Both were pureblood and both came from respected families. His father was planning his engagement, now that Lycoris was to marry William Macmillian. Regulus was next. He would slip a bit of information on Irma, so his father would get the hint.
He and Irma had planned it all so well.
She would write a latter to her father, saying that she wanted to marry into the Black family. And he would write to his own father that he had a prospect in mind for marriage.
But things went wrong. So very fast.
Pollux had discovered what Lycoris and Arcturus were doing late at night.
"Regulus! This is your chance! You have him in the palm of your hand, make him suffer like he had made you," Pollux begged his cousin.
Regulus was shocked for a moment, but he quickly understood his siblings. They were always together because they were always alone, fending for each other. And he knew that if he told that, yes, he could get his revenge – but that would make him like them. Reg was mature; he had grown up too fast. He didn't want any part of it.
"Fine. If you're not going to do it, I will," Pollux said.
...
You would expect that after all the hardships he had lived through in his life, he wouldn't stop Pollux from doing it.
But he had always been the mature one of the three, the "good" Black.
Pollux had written to William Macmillian about the "dirty" affair, stating that Arcturus was the man who had first touched her.
Regulus knew that Arc would be destroyed if his engagement came to an end – he really did love Melania.
So Regulus changed the letter, only saying that Lycoris was "unclean".
After all, she was indifferent to him.
At least Arcturus wasn't ashamed to say what he felt.
...
Lycoris' engagement was broken off.
And no one wanted to marry their children to her younger brother.
Who knew what he had.
This meant that Nigel Crabbe decided to marry his daughter to the next Black in line. Pollux Black.
Regulus fought tooth and nail for Irma, but there was no way to fix it. Lycoris had tainted the name, and Crabbe Sr. wanted Pollux – not Regulus.
"Please, father. Can't you convince him that I'm the best option? I will take care of her and love her. I'll make her happy, and we'll leave the Black manor. We'll leave for the country. Just please, father, she can't marry Pollux."
His father was in his room, drinking. He felt even more lost now. "There's nothing left. Your sister made sure to ruin us. It's a miracle that the Macmillian's still wanted to marry their daughter to Arcturus. Be grateful – your brother has saved us."
...
He didn't know what impulse made him to ask his brother for help.
It must have been because he really loved Irma.
Arcturus just sneered when he heard what Regulus wanted.
"I can't, no, I won't help you," Arc said.
Regulus was desperate now. "Why not?"
"Because I hate you," Arcturus responded, as if that was the most simple thing.
Reg had had enough. "Get over it! So what if I killed our mother? I didn't do it on purpose. Everyday I wish that I could take back the day I was born. Don't you think I feel bad about it? I do, everyday. I promise, if you help me, you won't ever see me again."
Arcturus stayed quiet for a few minutes and then shook his head. "I don't believe you, boy. I think you're just trying to get my money. You're jealous that I'm going to marry, and get more money than you, aren't you? Well guess what – that won't happen. You've heard the golden rule, haven't you? Whoever has the gold, makes the rules. So as long as I am the one who is married and produces heirs, I'll be the one who will make the rules here, not you. Not even Pollux. You get to see Crabbe marry him. Suffer, so you can feel what I felt when you killed my mother."
That was the first time Regulus defended himself.
He punched Arcturus on the jaw.
…..
He wasn't present for Pollux and Irma's wedding. Even though he was the best man.
Soon after that, Pollux had discovered what Irma and Reg had, and he stopped talking to him. Regulus wasn't allowed in the Black Manor. Arcturus had given his support to Pollux and Arcturus, being the one that ruled the Manor, decided to kick his brother out.
…..
Regulus thought it was best.
Things happened for a reason.
For some strange reason, his nephew Orion was very fond of him. The boy would visit him whenever he could with the help of his house elf: Kreacher. Regulus mused that they both must have been destined to be the cause of death of their own mothers.
And on one those many visits that Orion made, Irma accompanied him. Only once.
Only one time, Irma and Reg had some time together. But he couldn't do it. He couldn't betray Pollux. Poe was the only one that cared for him. It would be wrong to be with Irma, but she was begging him, crying, and he could never say no to her, especially when he smelled her hair.
And that resulted in the conception of Cygnus.
He knew from a letter that she wrote with the only words: He's yours.
She had sent it with Orion. And the boy was curious about what it said.
"Nothing important. Come, Orion, how about if we start on those mud castles." He kneeled down next to his nine year old nephew.
Orion smiled, quickly forgetting the letter.
….
You'd think he would be alone when he died.
Not at all. Some say he was the only Black that had so many people by his side when he took his last breath. Some say that Arcturus Black was deeply jealous of this fact when he was dying, years later.
Those who were there included Kreacher, Orion with a newborn Sirius and strangely Pollux, who was accompanied by Cygnus and his eight year old daughter. Also in attendance was Trixie holding Pollux's hand and his five year old daughter who was by her father's side was afraid that at any moment, the man her father talked about would die.
"Please forgive me, Reg. I was young and selfish. You always were the best Black out of all of us," Pollux whispered with tears in his eyes, regretting all the years he had not spoken to his cousin.
Regulus smiled. "There's nothing to forgive, Poe. After all, I should be the one to ask for your forgiveness, brother."
Pollux shook his head. "You see, I have forgotten what we fought about. I am an old man, and things tend to leave me, Reg."
Regulus laughed, remembering that this was Poe's excuse for everything. He felt young again, like when he had met Irma.
Little four year old Narcissa walked to her grandfather and whispered in his ear, "She is waiting for you."
Regulus patted her head and smiled. "She is."
AN: Maybe I'm used to writing more interesting characters, after all the antagonist is my favorite ;) Please REVEIW!
Next up: The Black Bulstrode Family.