A Diary of Love
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17 May 2009
Midnight thoughts…
It's too late for me to think straight, but I'll give it a try.
I shouldn't have accepted to go to his damn party or whatever he calls it, because it really wasn't a 'party' for me. I think he must have put a lot of soul into this one, because I haven't seen him having so much fun since he'd come back home from being held captive.
I suppose that he invited me just so he wouldn't hurt me any more than he had by promoting me. Of course that in the end I ended up even more hurt than before, just because he wouldn't let his assistant out of his sight. Every single damn time I saw them together I wanted to scream and run before I'd loose all my sanity.
Instead of being coward I decided to be indifferent, which worked better in the end.
I ruined all my make-up on the way back home and I must admit that I almost ended up in a tree, about a mile from my beach condo. This was the worst day of my whole life!
Except maybe the day I found out that he was kidnapped, but in all truth – I feel more beaten up than that day. I thought we were getting close until she popped out from god knows where and stole him away… sent him drooling after her big tits and ass.
Dear God, what was I thinking that night when I leaned in to kiss him? Please don't answer that because I know the truth.
The darkness of his eyes when he stared at me from behind her, the almost subtle curl of his lips when he teased her and the way he tried to get as close as he could to her swaying body… Everything he does now – with her, drives me away even further.
I don't want to love this arrogant bastard he's become overnight. I want to stop thinking and dreaming about him all the time.
This can't go on like this. I will try to change out of this black dress, take a shower and go to sleep and I will pretend that a stupid oversized pillow it's actually him, and that he's holding me in his arms – the same arms that were around her tonight.
I will sleep better.
I know that.
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There you go. Review please!