There is no excuse for what I have done,
But honestly, it wasn't as if I had fun!
Avoiding writing is not my thing,
It's just that my arm has been in a sling.
That's right, you reader's, my arm is broken!
Trust me, the truth is here spoken…
It's my dominant arm too, to make matters worse,
So with one hand I write this clever verse.
I now type so slowly yet I won't resign.
-sigh- Naruto is sadly not of mine.
"Where the fuck is Kakuzu?" Hidan shouted, glancing over his shoulder at the door for the twentieth time in the last five minutes. (Deidara had been counting)
"He should be here already…" Itachi mumbled, throwing out a huge sigh.
Sasori just shook his head. "It's the season finale—"
"Which is precisely why we need the Chinese food!" Deidara called out, licking his lips. "Yeah, I don't think we should worry… he'll be here."
Kisame nodded in approval. "We have a good ten minutes left."
The five murderers lapsed into a slightly awkward silence. They fidgeted in their own ways, for example, Hidan fingered his pendant and Itachi wiggled his toes in order to have something to do. At eight minutes to seven, both Deidara and Sasori were struck with the same thought and stood abruptly.
"I should look for him…" They both said, only with Deidara adding "Yeah!" at the end of his statement.
Their quest was cut short by Kakuzu opening the door calmly, a few tentacles carrying many bags that smelled fantastic. "I'm back. Look who I found?"
Stepping aside, he revealed Tobi and Zetsu standing in the doorway. Tobi was bouncing on the balls of his feet while his companion stood as passively as a bipolar, cannibalistic Aloe Vera plant characteristically would.
Tobi, with the ever-present personality of a puppy, took a few steps into the room. "Kakuzu-senpai said that we could watch with you if I paid for the food!"
All the men in the room sweat-dropped except for Kakuzu, Tobi and Zetsu.
"Alright," Kisame mumbled, casting an anxious look at the digital clock on the T.V. "We got four minutes left, so quick dish out the food. You got my seafood soup, ne?"
There was nothing more terrifying than seeing the Akatsuki, save two, go after their dinner. The reactions varied from princessy to flighty to potentially fatal.
On one side of the table, Itachi and Deidara both battled with their chopsticks for spring rolls while Kakuzu and Tobi were in a catfight (complete with slapping the others hands down) to get first servings of rice. Meanwhile, Kisame quickly grabbed the bag his soup and fixings were in and, holding his chopsticks in his mouth, fled over to his spot where he sat cross-legged and began to eat. Hidan just grabbed all he could, successfully spilling a plate of orange chicken to the ground, at which Kakuzu cried out in anger (after losing his fight for the rice against Tobi), that having been his dish.
Sasori and Zetsu, unable to eat and cannibalistic, stood to the side, not wanting to get in the way and maybe lose an eye.
"Shit guys, one minute!" Kisame shouted, causing all the men to flash back to their seats, reminiscent of the "Yellow Flicker" of Konoha.
Reaching over with a tentacle, Kakuzu turned up the volume while Deidara sent a clay spider to turn off the lights. With half of a minute to go, Tobi spoke.
"Wait, what are we watching?"
Everyone except Zetsu hung their heads in shame, hoping the god of 'Konoha's Next Top Model' wouldn't kill them for that statement.
"You wanna be on top?"
Two more to knock off… Karin thought, shooting a tentative look at Temari and Hinata, staying as quiet as they always did. Great, at least Forehead spoke from time to time… I'm stuck with the mutes.
Temari heaved a huge sigh and fell backward onto her bed, her arms spread out and her hair out of its usual four ponies. I thought it'd be Karin… I can handle Sakura at least, but not four-eyes over there.
"Um…" Hinata muttered, her pearly eyes on her feet as she tried to address them. "What do you guys want for dinner?"
She was rather nervous dishing out that question, especially now that Sakura had left. It had always been the pinkette who answered while Temari usually said nothing and Karin usually huffed and left the room. Now she was left with a tough crowd.
Temari shot her a weak smile that implied that she didn't care while Karin just glared at the very mention of food, more specifically: carbohydrates.
Something obviously snapped in the normally shy girl, probably from Karin's ridiculous behavior. She just picked her head up and squared her jaw. "You know what? It doesn't matter anyway considering Temari will just eat it and Karin will just puke it up afterwards…"
Whoa… Did I just say that out loud?
The redhead tilted her head forward as if she didn't really hear what Hinata had said. Obviously not caring, Hinata just turned on her heel and waltzed out with the dignity of her newly sought-after profession.
There was a small silence where they both heard the refrigerator slam. Temari let out a low whistle, staring straight above her as she lay on her back.
"Shut up, dike."
The blonde sat up as Karin said that and looked at her incredulously, as if asking if she was really serious. "Of all the things you can call me that are actually valid, you say that?"
"Do I need to repeat myself?" Karin snapped, flipping her hair as she turned so that her back was facing her adversary.
Temari's eyebrows were in danger of being lost in her bangs; they were so high at this point. She got up with her hands in front of her chest in protection. "I'll just let you stew in your bitch juice a little longer."
She stalked out after Hinata, leaving one pissed-as-hell Karin behind.
In the kitchen, Hinata was cooking up a storm, creating some kind of mouth-watering stir-fry. The hissing of the vegetables in the pan as she flipped them over in the air drowned out the sound of Temari's footsteps as she came in.
She jumped when Temari called loudly. "O-oh! What kind of sauce do you want? We've got mild curry, hot curry, sweet and sour—"
"I'll have what you're having." Temari interrupted, taking a seat at the large island in the middle of Hinata's (claimed) kitchen.
Karin was just a little figment in their memories by now. Notable in both their personalities is to shut out the unpleasant stuff and not get aggravated because of said things. Hinata put the hand holding the spoon on her hip and turned to face her comrade.
"I was going to have what you're having..."
"Then this is quite the pickle, I reckon."
O.o.O
"Hey girlies!! Are you ready for your challenge?" Jariya cooed, smiling his bright smile at the final three. They were standing outside on the sidewalk, seemingly about to head into a medium sized office building to their direct left.
When they nodded, cheered and smirked (Hinata, Karin, Temari, respectively), Jariya raised a fisted hand into the air. "Your challenge…"
Their anticipation was mounting at his purposeful hesitation. (The Akatsuki audience was, if it were possible, even more anxious to know what their girls had to do next)
"… is…"
He smirked and threw whatever he was holding directly at the ground at his feet. His getaway bomb exploded and quickly engulfed him in white smoke. The girls all looked around the urban street they were on; trying to find where he had ran off to.
"STYLIST FOR A DAY!"
All three girls looked up in unison to see Jariya peeking his head and torso out of a window two stories above.
How on earth did he get up there so quickly? Hinata thought vaguely, putting her hand to her forehead to block out the sun as she looked at him. Temari and Karin likewise covered their eyes as they looked up.
"Come on up and we'll give you the details."
Temari and Hinata exchanged a glance and a shrug before following Karin into the building and up the stairs.
"This is Orochimaru," Jariya introduced once the girls all filed in to the medium sized, yet very high-end salon. Orochimaru had flowing, long, black hair that rivaled Hinata's in its glory as well as odd but interesting yellow-y eye makeup. "He is one of the best stylists in all the villages, and an old friend of mine."
"Pleased to meet you all." He muttered, bowing a little to them all. His voice had a weird wheeze that closely resembled a hiss. "Your challenge is simple, I have here a pair of triplets," he motioned with his hand to a group of three girls who the models didn't see. "You will each apply makeup and a haircut to one of these ladies, and I will judge what I think is the best look. Simple right?"
The three girls were identical, with pale skin and long, center-parted hair. The only differences were in the hair color. One had bright blonde, one had chocolate brown and one had pitch black. Basically a blank canvas, the perfect basis of which to sculpt something interesting.
Jariya drew attention back to himself with a slight and very fake cough. "Yes, so… you have one hour to glamify your girl… starting… NOW!"
O.o.O
Shit… shitshitshit. I've never done this before! Temari thought angrily, shooting a quick glance at Karin to see what she was doing to her girl. And it looks like Karin has…
Her girl was looking at her oddly, as if waiting for her to start.
Temari threw one look at her blonde client and squared her jaw tightly. "Here I go!"
Karin was in her zone. She had always styled and cut her own hair, as well as administered her own make-up application. With an evil smirk, she picked up a pair of scissors and turned the chair her girl sat in around to face the mirror. She eyed her girl's black hair lightly, trying to size it up.
"Anything in particular?" She asked, giving off another smirk as the girl shook her head lightly. "Alright then, prepare to be dazzled!"
Hinata was tilting her head, looking at her girl appraisingly. What should I do? She had some experience with styling hair (her little sister had many times pleaded with her to do her hair) but not anything that required scissors.
She picked them up daintily, not knowing where she should start. "Um… what's your name?"
The girl (the brunette) looked up at her oddly, as if that question was taboo. She looked over at her sisters for a second before looking back up at Hinata. "Kariya."
"Alright Kariya-san, is there anything you want?"
Kariya shook her head. "We're supposed to let you do it all, Hinata-san. Sorry."
Hinata waved her hands in front of her chest as she shut her eyes and smiled. "Ah! Don't apologize, I was just wondering! Okay then, are you ready for this?"
O.o.O
An hour later, the triplets stood facing Orochimaru, standing still under his professional eye. "Hmm… I wasn't expecting them to be this good. Well, I mean good for amateurs."
Karin's face turned red and a little anger mark appeared over her head. Amateur quality? Is he blind?!
Her girl was sporting a truly glamorous look, but not quite the stereotypical glamorous. She now had a fohawk (think Naima Mora, the winner of ANTM season 4) that went nicely with the girl's bone structure. Karin had gone make-up crazy, though not whoreish-ly so. All in all, it looked amazing.
Hinata cast a small look at Kariya and her creation. It was a short, semi boyish cut with a sweeping side part (think Haruhi from Ouran High School Host Club). She had gone for light makeup that accentuated her brown eyes. She basically looked like Haruhi (from OHSHC).
(A/N: Since I failed horribly at describing, just look the resemblances up on google...)
Temari wasn't too proud of her cut. It was just okay, nothing on the caliber of Hinata and Karin. Her girl had her blonde hair up in a high ponytail with a side part covering one of her eyes. It was pretty, but simple. She chose to go with no make-up just because she felt that she would ruin it if she tried something like that. (note: in case you didn't get that, she styled her like Ino)
"After careful deliberation," Orochimaru started, moving his scary eyes over the girls in turn. "I have to say we have a tie."
He immediately dropped his cool, professional demeanor and leapt to the side of Karin's girl. There was a satisfied smirk pasted on his face. "Yoko looks so spicy and edgy now! I love it! But she's also very cool. That's it, cool and spicy!"
Hinata jumped back in alarm as he seemed to teleport to her girl's side in a split second. He had stars in his watering eyes as he looked over Kariya. "But Kariya-chan looks so cuuUUuute! This is so sweet, it's like a sundae with chocolate and cherries on top! Just looking at you would rot someone's teeth! Innocent and sweet!"
Karin, Hinata and Temari all sweat dropped at his antics. What a ridiculous judge.
"Here is our tie! And since the winner gets to take a friend, YOU BOTH WILL GO!"
After his bout of silly giddiness, Orochimaru appeared at Jariya's side in a flash, once again adopting his professional cool. "Hinata-chan and Karin-chan are the winners!"
Jariya flashed his toothy grin. "Congratulations ladies! Your prize is a one-minute raid of the store of your choice! Orochimaru will escort you wherever you want to go, so please follow him!"
"GO HINATA-CHAN!!" Deidara shouted as the commercials popped up again. Itachi and Kisame, whose girl didn't win, glared daggers at Deidara who was now locked in a staring contest with Kakuzu.
That stare-off was fitting, considering that Kakuzu liked Karin and Deidara liked Hinata. Soon Hidan joined the battle on the side of Deidara.
"This show is ridiculous!" Tobi called from where he sat in the corner. Sasori, Deidara and Kisame all shot him glares of pure death, causing him to sweat-drop and put his hands in front of his chest to protect himself. "Not that I don't like it of course!!"
"H-hey Temari?"
Temari looked over her shoulder, still chewing on a stick from a kabob that Hinata had just made. "Eh?"
Hinata, having already eaten in her excursion with Orochimaru and Karin, had made Temari some food to save her from whatever dish the blonde might compose. She was blushing slightly. "Do… do you want the clothes that don't fit me?"
Ah, the raid… She's too sweet. Temari knew why Hinata was blushing. Known to all three of the girls was Hinata's hourglass frame that put both Karin's and Temari's to shame. Hinata had a larger chest than Temari and more prominent hips, it was no surprise that Hinata would probably need to hock off some of what she had grabbed. And of course, knowing the Hyuga, she would be embarrassed as all hell to just admit plainly that she had larger breasts.
"You bet your ass I do! Thanks Hinata, that's really kind of you."
"Well, what else would I do with them?"
From her spot hiding in the hall leading to the kitchen, Karin overheard the conversation and scoffed. To make friends in this competition was the equivalent of failure in her eyes. Who would want that? I mean neither of them is going to see the other ever again probably. Temari travels around a lot and Hinata… I don't know. They are just setting themselves up to lose!
At the same time she thought that, a part of her pained for not having the friendship with anyone like they did. She was jealous because hey, it was lonely being the bitch!
Scenes from the next episode:
Ich mag die Augen von jedem im Zimmer fangen, aber ich will meine Makel dazu nicht! Es gibt nur einen Fall, wo ich hasse, bemerkt zu werden, und es ist, wenn es zu meiner Tarnung kommt. Mit der Kunoichi Cosmetics neuer Göttin-Abdeckstift bekomme ich nie jede unerwünschte Aufmerksamkeit darauf, was ich gesehen nicht will. Es geht glatt ohne Klötze weiter, und ich kann es kaum fühlen, wenn es darauf ist! Keine Parteivorbereitungen sind jetzt ohne es abgeschlossen! Treten Sie Venus zur Seite, es gibt eine neue Göttin in der Stadt.
I think my first note kinda spelled it all out. I lost my right hand (my dominant) to a dreadfully bulky cast and now I type one-handed. Please, no pity, I feel too terrible already because of my horrendous updating.
I'll try to go faster, I swear.