It wasn't nice, or fair, but Burt couldn't stop laughing.
"You're not helping, here," Carole said in amused exasperation as she readjusted her nipple into Susan's mouth yet again. The baby's head was almost completely covered in breast milk.
"It's kind of hard not to laugh when you keep fire-hosing our daughter like that," Burt chortled, laughing harder when an odd sounding snort came out of his nose.
"Shut up. I never had this problem with Finn. I could barely produce enough breast milk to feed him this way at all."
Burt grinned and handed her another burping cloth, tossing the one they had been using in the laundry bin. It was completely soaked through.
"Is mommy torturing you, Susie Lee? Did you just get a milk bath?"
Carole swatted at him with her free arm, making the baby mewl in protest.
"What are you doing in there?" Kurt's voice floated through their bedroom door. "You keep laughing and the baby keeps making these weird grunting noises."
Burt and Carole looked at each other and burst into laughter again.
"Dude, do you really want to know?" Finn's voice attempted to whisper.
Burt wiped tears from his eyes and attempted to calm himself enough to speak. "Don't worry, Finn. Your mother is just torturing your sister. Everything's fine."
"And you're laughing at that?"
Susie mewled again and Carole readjusted her head where it was propped on her arm. Her nipple popped out of the baby's mouth again and a jet of milk almost sprayed her in the eye.
"Oh, for Pete's sake!"
"Here, give her to me. I'll give her a bottle and you can figure yourself out."
"Very funny," Carole mock-glared, handing the baby over and quickly reaching for her breast pump.
Burt snatched up the bottle they had warm and waiting just in case and nudged the baby's fists out of her mouth. Susan started suckling greedily.
The boys were muttering quietly about something outside the door and Burt strode over to open it one-handed, careful to use his body to block their sight into the room.
Kurt and Finn were standing off in front of the doorway like a couple of cartoon characters having an argument. Blaine was reading a book out in the living room, glancing up at Burt in amusement when they startled and turned to him.
"Hey, Kurt, you wanna pick out something new for Susan to wear? Her current outfit's a bit damp."
The boys looked down at the baby and furrowed their brows in confusion. The top part of Susie's onesie was covered in milk and the receiving blanket she was wrapped in wasn't much better. Kurt gave Burt a suspicious look before shaking his head and walking over to the box he was storing the baby clothes in. Burt still hadn't managed to convince him that it would make more sense to keep them in his and Carole's room where the baby was actually sleeping.
"I don't want to know," Kurt said, deftly picking out a purple outfit and snagging her portable changing pad before walking toward the kitchen table. Burt followed him, checking to see where Susan was with her bottle. He couldn't very well give her a bath with a bottle clamped in her mouth.
When she was done, Burt chuckled again and set the bottle down, burping her quickly before laying the baby carefully on the changing pad so he could strip her and give her a bath in the kitchen sink.
Carole was so not going to hear the end of this.
Thoughts?