A/N:

Sorry I haven't posted in a while but I've been super busy the past week. This chapter is a rewrite of a one-shot called Nearness that I wrote for Feeling the Pull. However that one was written in James's perspective and I shook this one up a little and wrote it from Lily's.

Prompt: #47- Kindness

Song: Suffer in Silence by The Frames

Suffer in Silence

Lily sat in the common room, surrounded by her friends Marlene and Mary and stacks of books. They were working together on an essay for Transfiguration, each girl flipping through a different book looking for answers. Lily stopped for a moment and took a sip of her hot chocolate. A flash of brown at the window caught her eye. She went to the window and pulled it open for her owl to enter.

"Thank you, Malcom," she said, untying the letter and patting him on the head. The owl hooted softly and returned through the open window.

"What is it, Lily?" Marlene asked from behind the wall of books.

"It's from my mum." Lily's hands shook slightly as she opened the letter. Her eyes moved back and forth across the page, her expression becoming darker as she went.

"Is everything ok?" Mary asked, walking up to her friend and putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Lily cleared her throat. "I think I'll go have a bath." She headed up the stairs to her dormitory and returned a few minutes later in a purple bathrobe. "I'll catch up with you later," she called on her way to the portrait hole.

She walked slowly to the prefects' bathroom, rereading the note as she went. She reached the entrance by the statue of Boris the Bewildered and gave the password which unlocked the door. She was greeted with the sight of possibly the last person she wished to see.

"Oh, Potter," Lily started. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was occupied." She turned to leave.

"Evans," he called. She turned slightly. "You don't have to leave. I'm decent." He pulled himself on the ledge to show the shorts he was wearing.

"No, that's fine. I'm sure you want to be alone." I want to be alone.

"Honestly, Evans. Please." He got back in and gestured to the swimming pool sized tub. "There's plenty of room. Besides, why waste hot water?"

Lily hesitated a moment. Then she turned toward James and shut the door completely. "Ok, but if you try anything fresh I'll hex you."

James held up his hands. "No intentions. Scout's honor."

Lily rolled her eyes and untied her robe revealing a blue bikini. She swore she caught a glimpse of red in his cheeks before he hastily turned his head. She lowered herself gently into the water and he turned back around. The warm water washed over her and she let out a sigh, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. The hot water always helped to clear her head.

"Long day?" James asked.

"Long month more like," she replied.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not with you."

"Come on, Lily. Give me a chance. I think you'll find I'm a great listener and secret keeper."

She remained silent. Did he just call me Lily? James watched her from the corner of his eye.

Finally, "It's my da. He has cancer." Like he even cares. Why am I telling James Potter of all people?

"Ah." James nodded. "What kind?"

"Pancreatic. It's the worst kind, they say. Doctors don't usually catch it until it's really bad. There's nothing they can do." She could feel tears start to sting in her eyes. She swallowed hard trying to suppress them.

He slid close to her and rested a hand on her shoulder just as Mary had. A shock of electricity ran through her at the sudden contact. His touch was firm but gentle. "I'm sorry," he said quietly

She scoffed. "It's not your fault."

"I mean, I'm sorry that you have to go through that." He looked her straight in the eyes.

Lily could feel the tension inside her begin to ease. Something about the kindness and concern in his eyes dropped her guard. "Yeah." She closed her eyes again and leaned her head against his chest. She let the tears flow freely now. James wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in closer to him. For a moment she felt safe in his strong embrace. She could feel his heart beating against his chest, her breathing slowing as she focused on the sound.

Suddenly she was aware of who she was pressed against. She pulled away quickly, trying to hide the shock likely showing plainly on her face. "Uh. Sorry." Lily jumped out and quickly cast a drying spell on herself. She threw on her robe and hurried to the door.

"Lily!" she heard him call, but she had already shut the door behind her.

She hurried back to Gryffindor tower, berating herself the whole way. What was I thinking even getting in there with James Potter? Why did I chose to confide in him? And what was he playing at, acting all sensitive and caring?

She didn't stop in the common room when her friends called out to her but instead headed right to her bed, still in her robe, and threw the covers over her. Tears of sadness, anger, and confusion wet her pillow until she had worn herself out from crying and fell into a fitful sleep.