Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from New Moon, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.

3. DISTANCE

The minutes ticked slowly by, but I wished desperately that I could stop the passage of time completely. Bella slept peacefully, cradled in my arms, mumbling sporadically while she slumbered. Her warm skin made my own tingle.

"Edward," she murmured.

Closing my eyes, I sighed in a brief moment of perfect contentment. The sound of my name on her lips, even in her sleep, warmed my soul. How I wish we could remain like this forever, but the cruel reality quickly reminded me that it wasn't meant to be. I cherished the passing seconds, knowing in my heart that this would be the last night I would spend with her.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. "Don't go, please."

The agony of the truth pierced my heart. I squeezed my eyes tightly, fighting the urge to scream. Even if her conscious mind didn't realize it yet, her dreams were already warning her of what was to come. How could I leave her?

I watched Bella's chest rise and fall, each breath matching my own in perfect synchronicity. We were two halves of a whole. She was the missing piece of my soul that made me complete. She made me a better man – almost human. What will remain of me when she is gone? Will there be nothing left but the monster? Will I leave the best of me behind with her?

The sun was beginning to rise and light amber rays cascaded softly through the window. Bella began to stir. She awoke and winced in pain. I kissed her lightly on the forehead and dashed out the window. I couldn't bear to leave her, not yet, but preparations needed to be made.

I ran home as fast as my legs would carry me and could see Esme watching through the window, awaiting my arrival. Her eyes were weary and strained with anxiety. She embraced me as I came through the door, reassuring me with her thoughts.

Everything will be all right, Edward. You'll see…

She could see that I was troubled as I quickly wrenched myself from her arms in search of Carlisle. I sprinted up the stairs to his study and found him sitting behind his desk with a book in his hands.

"Good Morning, Edward. What can I do for you? How is Bella feeling?" he probed.

"She's in some pain, but fine otherwise. I need to speak with you about something very important." My voice cracked as I forced the words out and he looked on with sorrow in his eyes.

I was afraid it might come to this. I wish there were something I could do to ease his pain.

"Carlisle, we've been here for a while now and I think that it's nearing the time when we must move on… before suspicions begin to arise."

His eyes pierced right through me, "Edward, you haven't finished the school year yet. Will it not look odd if we leave before graduation? This is about last night, isn't it? Please be honest with me…"

The pain in my chest was unbearable, but I pressed on. "Carlisle, I think it would be in Bella's best interests if we left Forks. After last night, I can no longer deny that we are a danger to her."

"But, Edward…"

I cut him off. "I love her too much, Carlisle, to endanger her any longer. I knew from the start that it was wrong of me to want her. She is too selfless and blinded by love to see the danger."

Alice flung open the door and sprinted into the room.

"Edward! How could you even consider…" My fierce stare stopped her in her tracks. As soon as I had made the decision to leave, she had seen our futures change.

A tearless sob escaped her lips, "Edward, this is not your decision, this affects all of us. Bella is my best friend. How can you even think that I would leave her?"

"Alice, I know that you love Bella. We all do, but I'm trying to do what's right here. We have never become this involved with a mortal before and it's too dangerous for her. You were here last night. You saw what happened. I can't risk her coming over for dinner and becoming the meal!" She winced at my last comment, the pain in her eyes evident.

"Edward, it was an accident! We can be more careful," she cried.

I shook my head and Carlisle rose from his chair.

"Alice is right."

I glared at him in disbelief, but he raised his hand in a gesture to show that he wasn't finished.

"She is right. This affects us all. This has to be a decision that is made by the family." He placed his hand on my shoulder and led me downstairs to the dining room, calling the rest of the family as we walked.

They all filed in and sat around the long table, looks of discomfort on every face. They had known this was coming.

I stood to speak.

"I believe that the time has come to move on from Forks. After the events of last night…" I trailed off as I saw the look of compunction on Jasper's face. "As I was saying, I believe that it has become too dangerous for us to continue to be a part of Bella's life. I love her and I know you all do. I'm pleading with you to understand my position. I care far too much for her to allow any harm to come to her. It was wrong of me to pursue her and I realize that now. She is mortal and we do not belong in her world. She can never have a normal life as long as we are in it."

I took a deep breath and continued, "I know that it's not quite time for us to move on, but I'm asking that you all do this for me. For Bella. If you care for her, you will help me protect her."

I could see Esme quietly weeping. Alice's eyes were fierce. Carlisle was pensive.

"Now then, let's put it to a vote. Alice?"

"Absolutely not!" she shouted. Her temper was flaring. "I think that you are being absurd about this whole situation, Edward. Bella is our friend and we all care for her. No harm will come to her if we are here to protect her. Remember, she's a magnet for trouble. Who's to say that she won't be in more danger if we leave?"

I looked to her beseechingly, "Alice, have you considered that the trouble all started with us? Bella wouldn't have been hunted by James if she hadn't been in the clearing with us that day. Once we are gone, she will no longer need our protection." She huffed and crossed her arms, refusing to look at me.

"You're wrong, Edward. She would have died the day Tyler's truck skidded toward her on the ice. She's alive because of us, because of you."

I winced at the memory. "We don't know that, Alice. And that still doesn't change the fact that our presence puts her at risk."

This is wrong. Bella will be devastated.

I blocked Alice's thoughts from my mind and turned to Jasper.

"Jasper?"

Jasper looked at me and then at Alice and slowly nodded his head. Alice shot him a distressing look.

Jasper! How could you? You're supposed to be on my side!

"I'm sorry, Alice, but I think Edward is right. I am embarrassed and ashamed of my actions last night, but we have to admit that it's the nature of what we are. No matter how civilized we appear to be, we are still, in essence, monsters."

I looked to Rosalie and she too nodded in agreement. Finally! This is the first sensible thing you've done.

"Emmett?"

"I gotta disagree with you, bro. I think Bella is great and I don't see the need to leave. You know that you would never hurt her and we can protect her from any other dangers." Emmett sat back and crossed his arms, satisfied with his vote.

I nodded and turned to Esme. The pain on her face was almost too much for me to bear.

"Edward," she began, "I can't begin to tell you how happy I was when Bella came into your life. For nearly a century, I've waited for you to find your other half, your soul mate. I've worried for you, as any mother would. I hated seeing you alone and, when you found Bella, your whole demeanor changed. We all saw it. You came alive!"

She paused to compose herself, "I can't bear to see you alone again. You love Bella and she loves you, I can see that plainly. She has expressed a desire to become one of us, why not grant her wish?"

A growl rumbled in my chest, "NO!" I roared, smacking my hand on the table. "I love her too much to take her life. Her soul is far too precious."

Esme grimaced, "If you refuse to change her and yet feel that we are a danger to her, what choice do we have?" She lowered her head and continued to weep tearlessly.

"Carlisle?"

"Edward, I don't quite know what to say. As much as it pains me, I am willing to respect your decision. I may not agree with it, but I will support you."

Exasperated, Alice slammed her hands on the table and walked out the door.

Idiots!

Her vision showed that the decision had been made. Carlisle grabbed my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"What should we do?" he asked.

The wheels in my head were turning as I formulated a plan. I had spent the better part of the evening dwelling on just this outcome.

"I think it would be best for Bella if we make this a clean break. Her broken heart will heal faster that way." I struggled to maintain self-control. "We should cease contact and begin packing our things. Without the usual time to prepare for our next move, I recommend traveling to Denali to stay with Tanya's clan for a while until more permanent arrangements can be made."

Carlisle nodded in agreement. "I will make a call and begin the preparations. What will you do?"

I thought for a moment, "You all will go on without me and I will join you in a few days. I will stay behind to tie up the loose ends and tell Bella goodbye."

Carlisle stood and crossed over to Esme, wrapping her in his arms. She buried her face in his chest and continued to weep.

I pray we're doing the right thing, he thought to himself.

Everyone filed out of the room and the house was a flurry of activity as preparations were made for our move. I sat down and buried my face in my hands. For a brief moment, I allowed myself to break down. My chest heaved with tearless sobs. I could feel my stone heart breaking in two. I prayed for the strength to get through this. I had to do it for Bella.

I gathered all the courage I could and pushed myself away from the table. The most difficult part was yet to come.

How could I leave her? I would have to break her heart and the thought of intentionally causing her pain, regardless of the reasons behind it, was excruciating. I existed to love her, to bring her happiness. What I would have to do would go completely against my nature, but I would do it for her – to protect her.

Carlisle was speaking softly to Alice. She was nearly as inconsolable as Esme. I went over to her and wrapped her in my arms.

"Alice, I know you love Bella, but you have to know in your heart that I'm right about this." She looked up at me, her eyes searching mine.

"It's wrong Edward. I can feel it," she whimpered. "You love her so much."

"It doesn't matter. I have to do what is right for her. I have to protect her."

"I – don't even – get to say – goodbye?" she stammered.

"I think it would be best…" my voice trailed off. She hung her head in defeat and ran to Jasper's waiting arms. He held her close and gave me a wary glance.

You're doing the right thing.

I nodded slightly. I knew of all my siblings, Jasper would understand my predicament. I felt a wave of calm come over me as Jasper smiled feebly, granting me a momentary reprieve from my pain.

I walked into the garage and climbed into my Volvo. Sinking back into the leather seat, I leaned back and sighed, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

I would keep up appearances as best I could until the time was right to tell her goodbye. The thought of waiting was agonizing. The sooner I could make the break, the better. However, my selfish side longed to postpone that inevitability forever. I had no desire to leave her behind, knowing that I would be leaving my heart behind in the process.

I turned the key and the engine roared to life. I forced my marble face free of any emotion and made my way toward the school.

* * *

I leaned on my car and waited for Bella to arrive. Thoughts raged in my head as I tried to determine the best way to tell her. How would she react? What could I say to make her believe that she will be better off without us in her life? I had spent so many months professing my love for her, how could I possibly expect her to just let me go?

My concentration broke as I turned to see her walking toward me. Her eyes were searching mine. She could perceive that something wasn't right. The sight of her bandaged arm strengthened my resolve.

"How do you feel?" I asked her.

"Perfect," she replied. I could see in her eyes that she was lying. She bit her lip nervously. Her eyes quickly scanned the parking lot; she was searching for someone. I was sure that Alice's absence would deepen her concerns.

I walked with her, detached, willing myself to let her go.

The day progressed slowly. I walked with her to class, but she did not speak. She continued to bite her lip fretfully and fidget with her hair.

Her attention was not on her schoolwork. Her mind seemed a million miles away.

"Miss Swan?" Mr. Berty interrupted her daze and she looked up, startled. His brow furrowed and he frowned, unhappy with Bella's obvious lack of attention.

She shifted uneasily in her chair and sat up, feigning interest.

"Miss Swan," he continued. "In Act I, Scene iii, Lady Capulet uses a metaphor to describe Paris. What is that metaphor?"

She started blankly ahead as though she had not heard the question. Her mouth opened slightly, but no sound came out. She bit her lip and stole a quick glance in my direction. Mr. Berty crossed his arms and waited.

"A book," I uttered softly, so only she would hear. She knew this play so well she could recite it in her sleep. I must have underestimated the worry this was causing her.

"A book," she repeated.

"Humph," Mr. Berty huffed and turned to return to the front of the classroom, continuing his lecture.

She turned slightly in her chair, her eyes catching mine.

Thanks, she mouthed.

I nodded in return and watched as she nervously spun her pen in her fingers. Her heart beat erratically as she stared vacantly ahead.

I hated this. I hated that I could cause her such suffering. I hated that I caused her undue stress. She would hate me for leaving, but she would move on. She would find a human boyfriend to turn to; one that could kiss her and hold her in his arms without needing to fight the urge to kill her.

I looked up to see Mike Newton staring at Bella…again. The thought of Mike with Bella made my stomach churn with jealousy, but I was not wrong last night when I told her that a relationship with him would be healthier than our own.

As though he could read my own thoughts, I heard him.

I don't know what she sees in him. He's so weird. Just look at the way he looks at her. I wish he would just go away! If he had just ignored her like he ignores everyone else, she would have been my girlfriend, not his.

I purposely blocked Mike's tirade when his thoughts turned lustful. I could not tolerate his little fantasies – not today.

The class ended abruptly, but Bella did not rise from her seat. I waited patiently, wanting very much to reach out to her, but I held back.

"You coming, Bella?" Angela asked, tapping Bella on the shoulder and bringing her out of her trance.

"Um…yeah," she smiled sheepishly and got up to head to the next class.

The day continued, much of the same. Bella stared off in a dazed stupor, obviously either concentrating on a difficult problem or worrying needlessly about me.

I walked a step behind her as we entered the cafeteria. I filled my tray with the lunch I certainly would not consume and she selected a soft drink. I frowned slightly at her lack of appetite, but did not press the issue.

I followed her to our usual table, already abuzz with the chatter of teenagers. I sat next to Bella, picking apart a granola bar, seemingly distracted. Angela sat across from Bella and the empty seat next to her where Alice should be was glaringly obvious.

After what seemed like a day of uninterrupted silence, she finally asked, "Where's Alice?" her eyes nervously searched mine.

I looked away. "She's with Jasper."

"Is he okay?"

"He's gone away for a while." My voice strained with emotion as I held back. I could see her unease intensify.

"What? Where?" she cried.

"Nowhere in particular." My eyes remained focused on the table in front of me as I continued to pulverize the bits of oat and fruit between my fingers.

"And Alice, too…" her voice trailed off. Her cheeks flushed and her shoulders slumped as she thought again of the humiliation of last night. I knew she was blaming herself.

"Yes. She'll be gone for a while. She was trying to convince him to go to Denali."

She nodded silently, considering what I had said. Her brow creased and I longed to know what she was thinking. It was times like these that infuriated me. The silence of her mind drove me mad. In all the world, the only mind that I longed to hear was the only one silent to me.

"Is your arm bothering you?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Who cares about my stupid arm?" she spat. Exasperation and distress filled her face as she lowered her head to the table. I knew that this was not going to be easy. The war waged within my mind.

Angela gave me a wary glance and I smiled as best I could. She assumed that we were having a typical high school argument, a lover's quarrel. She returned my smile and turned to join in the conversation with the rest of the table. I was glad that Angela was a good friend. Bella would need a good friend like her when I was gone.

The day dragged on and finally the last bell rang and we were free. We walked silently to the parking lot and she suddenly turned to face me.

"You'll come over later tonight?" Her eyes were pleading. She never had to ask this question before. Her voice sounded so unsure. Perhaps she was beginning to believe the warnings her dreams were trying to communicate to her.

"Later?" I questioned. The thought of waiting longer was agonizing. The more I prolonged our goodbyes, the harder it would be for me to maintain my resolve.

She shrugged, "I have to work. I had to trade with Mrs. Newton to get yesterday off."

"Oh," I replied. I had forgotten. Damn. This waiting will be the death of me.

Her eyes were hopeful, "So you'll come over when I'm home, though, right?"

"If you want me to." I shuffled my feet, not daring to look her in the eye.

"I always want you," she replied affectionately, her hand reaching out to grasp mine. The heat from her skin sent a wave of ecstasy through my body that made me tremble slightly.

My heart burned in my chest and my ears rang. The voice in my head was shouting at me, You idiot! Don't throw it all away!

"All right, then," I replied, my face remaining stoic. I kissed her lightly on the forehead and turned to walk to my car.

As I neared the house, I could hear the disorganized thoughts of my family members as they continued to hastily make preparations for our move. The furniture had been circumspectly covered with sheets as the house was prepared for our long absence. I walked into Carlisle's study as he was placing his books in a large box. He looked up at me with sympathetic eyes. The pain was clearly visible on my face.

"I have already made arrangements for our move," he began. "The school and hospital have been notified."

"What did you tell them?" I asked.

"I received an offer with a large hospital in Los Angeles and it was too good to turn down. They were unhappy, but understanding. I wish I could have given them more notice, but circumstances…"

I nodded. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett had already gone. Esme and Carlisle remained to finish packing some belongings and solidify a believable story, as not to raise suspicion. They would leave tonight and join them in Denali.

He reached out to touch my shoulder, "How long until you join us?" he asked.

My eyes met his and he furrowed his brow with worry.

"I'll need...a couple of days." I replied softly, lowering my head.

He squeezed my arm reassuringly. "Take all the time you need, my son."

I tried to smile at him, but my face remained frozen. I turned to leave, walking down the hallway to my room. The room was nearly empty. All of my records and books had been packed away while I was gone. I was thankful that they extended that courtesy to me. So many things would remind me of her. Every book, every song, everything was saturated with memories of Bella.

My fingers graced the leather sofa where I had held her in my arms on her first visit to my home. Her sweet scent still lingered in the air. I could see her, laying peacefully wrapped in my embrace; her warm skin sending shivers down my body, her loving eyes staring deeply into mine, her soft lips kissing my fingers, my neck, my chin….I shook the thoughts from my head and turned to see Esme standing in the doorway.

She gave me an encouraging smile, hiding her anguish.

"Edward," she began, "I know that this is difficult for you and it pains me to see you in such agony. I know that you believe you are doing the right thing and I trust your judgment." She hesitated, almost unwilling to continue.

She looked down, avoiding my curious glare, Please be gentle with her, Edward.

My eyes widened with shock.

"Bella loves you…possibly more than you realize. We all know that this is difficult for you, but please remember that it will be equally difficult for her. I know you will do what's best."

She paused, collecting her thoughts. "She is human and her memories will fade over time. Her heart will heal in time and so will yours."

I evaded her motherly gaze and the burning in my chest returned. I nodded in agreement. Bella will forget, I reassured myself. My heart, however, would likely never heal. Loving Bella changed me permanently on a deep level and I knew that I could never be the same.

"We will leave no evidence," I replied coolly. "I will make sure of it. Nothing will be left to remind her."

She reached out to hug me, but I recoiled from her touch. Her lip quivered as she turned to leave the room.

This is much too difficult for him. I wish I could take his pain, she thought as she walked away.

I leaned against the wall of glass and slid down to the floor. My fingers ruffled through my disheveled bronze hair. I leaned back and let out a sigh, closing my eyes. Oh, how I wished I could sleep. I longed for a temporary reprieve from this reality. I sat motionless for quite some time until I opened my eyes to see that the sun had set.

Lifting myself up, I composed my features and left the house to see Bella.

I could hear the sounds of baseball coming from the television as I pulled up to Bella's house. I hesitated, trying to decide whether or not to wait in the car. I was not prepared to say goodbye, not tonight. The thought of using Charlie as a buffer was tempting.

I strode up to the house and lightly rapped on the door. I could hear Charlie inside grumbling to himself as he got up to answer. The door creaked open, Oh, It's you, Charlie thought to himself as a brief look of disapproval flashed across his face. Charlie hadn't trusted me since the incident with James so many months ago. He straightened his expression and stepped aside to let me in.

He mumbled to himself and sat back down on the sofa, his eyes glued to the television. I lowered myself into an arm chair and mimicked his stare as I heard Bella's truck rumble up to the house.

The door creaked open and I heard her call, "Dad? Edward?"

Without looking away from the television, "In here," Charlie called.

She walked into the room and I could feel her eyes on me.

"Hi," she said.

"Hey, Bella," her father replied. "We just had cold pizza. I think it's still on the table."

"Okay," she replied.

I met her gaze and gave her a weak smile. "I'll be right behind you." I turned from her and returned my stare to the television, willing my legs to move.

She hesitated in the doorway for another moment and then turned to go into the kitchen. I could hear her movements in the other room, but could not force my body to cooperate. Why did this have to be so difficult?

In my heart, I knew that I was doing the right thing, but that still didn't make it any easier. Perhaps, if I distanced myself for a few days, she would grow tired of me. If I could compel her to dislike me, it would be that much easier for her to go on with her life.

She ascended the stairs slowly and I could hear her rummaging in her room. A few moments later, out of the corner of my eye, I could see her stealthily peek around the corner with her new camera. A flash briefly lit up the room. Charlie and I both turned to face her.

What the…?

"What are you doing, Bella?" Charlie questioned in an irritated tone.

"Oh, come on," she teased, "You know Mom will be calling soon to ask if I'm using my presents. I have to get to work before she can get her feelings hurt."

Charlie rolled his eyes. "Why are you taking pictures of me, though?"

"Because you're so handsome," she smiled lightheartedly. "And because, since you bought the camera, you're obligated to be one of my subjects."

She grinned at him. Charlie shook his head and grumbled.

Yeah, the last thing your mother would want is a picture of me.

"Hey, Edward…" I looked up as she threw the camera to me. "Take one of me and my dad together."

I could see the worry in her eyes. She was trying too hard.

"You need to smile, Bella," I reminded her. A meager smile curved on her lips and I snapped the shutter.

Charlie shifted uncomfortably, obviously disliking the attention as much as his daughter did. "Let me take one of you kids," he offered. I stood and tossed the camera to Charlie.

Bella walked over to my side and I lightly placed my arm on her shoulder. She wrapped her arm around my waist and we stared uncomfortably at the camera. The pain in my chest was returning.

"Smile, Bella," Charlie prompted. The flash lit up the room once again.

"Enough pictures for tonight," Charlie proclaimed, carefully stashing the camera out of Bella's reach. I was glad for it, yet silently hating Charlie for the gift he had given Bella. If I had to remove all reminders before I left, I had to be sure not to allow any pictures to be left behind.

"You don't have to use the whole roll now," Charlie continued.

I sat back down and Bella took a seat on the couch next to her father. She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin there. We continued to stare blankly at the television. I was actually thankful that Charlie was there. I couldn't bear to face a line of questioning about my behavior tonight.

The show ended and I stood. "I'd better get home."

"See ya," Charlie replied without so much as a glance in my direction.

Bella rose from the sofa and hesitantly followed me to the door. I walked straight to my car, afraid to stop.

"Will you stay?" she asked, her voice faltering.

"Not tonight," I replied. I climbed into my car and the engine roared to life. The light spattering of raindrops began to cover my windshield. I watched Bella in my rearview mirror as I pulled away, standing awkwardly in the rain. Her face crumbled in disappointment.