Chapter Three-Slowly

Sorry it took a bit longer to get this chapter out. This chapter is a bit longer. Hope you like! As always, review! :)

Gabby cried out in pain and Matt's eyes shot open.

"Gabby?" He sat up and turned on the lamp next to his bed. "You ok?" Squinting against the sudden light, he looked for any obvious signs of trauma that could be causing Gabby's pain. "What happened?"

"My ribs. I rolled over in my sleep." Gabby took a shaky deep breath and closed her eyes.

"When was the last time you took your pain medication?"

"Right before bed."

"It's too early for more then. How about some ice?"

Gabby nodded, "Yeah."

Without another word, Matt slipped out of bed and headed for the kitchen. He filled a plastic bag full of ice and wrapped it in a towel.

When he came back to the room, Gabby had pushed herself up against the headboard and was clutching her side. "It's not as good as the fancy ones in your rig but it should do the trick." He considered himself victorious with the small smile she gave him.

Matt climbed back into bed and carefully rolled Gabby's shirt up enough so he could see where to place the homemade ice-pack. Gabby hissed from the sudden weight on her ribs. "Sorry, sorry."

"Not your fault."

"And it's not yours, either." Matt reiterated. Although the light illuminating from the lamp on the nightstand wasn't much to go by, it was enough for Matt to get a look at the beating Gabby's body had taken during the explosion and the slow healing process that had started. The explosion had happened about a week and a half ago and the last time he'd seen any part of her body was the first day back home when he'd helped her change into some pajamas.

But after her first night back, Gabby had built up an extensive wall, not only physically but emotionally. Although Matt wanted to talk about the miscarriage, she would shoot him down every time he tried to bring it up. There was no point in talking about something they never knew they had, was all she would say before changing the subject.

"Is it helping?"

"A little."

"What about your head? Do you have a headache?"

"Can't we go over all this during my appointment tomorrow?"

"In case you've forgotten, I've become an expert on head injuries," he joked.

Gabby narrowed her eyes, "not funny, Matt."

"You're right, sorry." He brushed a few stray hairs from her face and kissed her forehead. "I love you." He kissed her again. "So much. You know that, right?" she cast her eyes down and away from his. "Gabby, look at me."

She brought a trembling hand to her face and wiped away a few tears that had slipped free. "I don't want to talk about this, Matt."

"But we have to," he insisted. Placing his hand under chin, he moved her face so she was looking up at him. "You and I both know that it will just eat at us if we don't."

"I already know you're upset but it'll just hurt for me to hear you say it." She shook her head, "All you've ever wanted was a family and I...I..." she choked back a sob, causing herself more physical pain.

Matt shook his head, "you need to stop blaming yourself, Gabby! I know I sound like a broken record but I'll keep on saying it until you finally believe me." He removed the ice pack and leaned over Gabby to sit it on the nightstand behind her. His hand caressed her stomach, moving away from the bruising over her ribs and down to her abdomen.

"Matt..."

"Shh." He slid down in bed so his face was level with her stomach and started placing soft kisses all over. Over the bruises, over the cuts, over where their baby had been. "One day," he whispered against her stomach before bringing himself back up to her level. "I guess it just wasn't met to be."

Gabby nodded, "yeah, I guess not."

"But Gabby," he waited until she looked up at him to continue. "I couldn't imagine a better woman to be the mother of my children. You're it for me, Gabriela Dawson."

Matt checked the time on his watch and adjusted the bag on his shoulder as he headed out of the garage. Gabby had a doctor's appoint in half an hour and thankfully Antonio had offered to pick Gabby up and take her so Matt could just meet her at the hospital.

"Casey!"

He looked over his shoulder as Shay ran to catch up with him. "Hey, Shay."

Shay rolled her eyes, "Hey yourself. Got any idea why Dawson is avoiding me?"

"I didn't realize she was avoiding you." He came to a complete stop. "I thought she talked to you the other day?"

"Nope." Shay crossed her arms, "so you wanna fill me in on what's going on with her?"

"It's not my place to say."

"Gabby is my best friend, Casey. I'm really worried about her."

Matt looked away from the pleading look in Shay's eyes and shook his head. He did a quick glance around to make sure no one else was in range to hear what he was about to say. "Gabby had a miscarriage."

"Shit." Shay didn't know what to say, her heart sank for Gabby and Matt. "Did you guys know?" Matt shook his head. "Casey, I'm so sorry."

"Thanks. Me too." He rubbed the back of his head and looked away, somewhat embarrassed by the tears that were clouding his vision. "I just wish she would talk to me. I think I got through to her a little bit last night but it's basically become a game of tug of war."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Matt shrugged, "at this point, I don't really know what will help." He checked his watch again, "but I really have to go, she has a doctor's appointment."

"Oh, sure! Right, right!" She patted Matt on the arm, "let her know I'll be calling her soon, ok?"

"It wasn't my sight that was damaged, Antonio." Gabby snapped at him as she took the clipboard from his hands.

"Fine, fine." Antonio held his hands up in defense and leaned back against the waiting room couch. He watched as Gabby tried to focus on the forms in front of her. "You ok?"

Gabby pushed her hair behind her ear and looked over her shoulder at her brother. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

Antonio shrugged, "just wanna make sure you're doing ok. It's kind of in my job description as your big brother." Gabby gave a slight nod and turned her attention back to the forms. Antonio continued to watch his sister, her assurance that she was fine failed to settle his concern. In the week and a half since the explosion, the cuts and bruises had started to heal but looking into his sister's eyes, he could tell that was the only part of her that was healing.

"Gabriela Dawson."

Gabby looked up at the sound of her name and then looked longingly at the entrance to the waiting room.

"Gabriela Dawson?"

"She's here," Antonio nudged his sister. "Let's go, Gabby. I'm sure he's on his way."

Gabby pulled her attention away from the doors and over to her brother. "It's fine. Just wait out here for me?"

"Yeah, of course." Antonio kissed the side of Gabby's head and helped her out of the seat.

Not five minutes after Gabby disappeared down the hallway, Matt came jogging through the doors. He nodded at Antonio, "please tell me she just went back there."

Antonio stood up, "she did."

"Thanks for bringing her. Sorry I'm a few minutes late, work was…"

"No need to explain, I work for the city, too."

Matt nodded and laughed nervously, "Right, right."

"Hey, uh, I didn't get a chance to say anything to Gabby but Laura asked me to invite the two of you over for dinner tonight. You know, if Gabby's feeling up to it."

"Whether she's feeling up to it or not, she's been looking for excuses to leave the house so I'm sure we'll be there. I'll let you know after the appointment and get the details."

"Sounds good, man." He motioned towards the exam rooms, "now go be with Gabby. Whether she'll admit it or not, she needs you."

Matt didn't have to be told twice. He got the attention of a nurse and found out what room Gabby was in.

"Looks like you've got a visitor." Dr. Whitley opened the door to the examining room and allowed Matt to follow her in. "Just in time for the appointment to begin."

Gabby perched herself up on her elbows and sighed with relief when she made eye-contact with Matt. He hurried over to her and kissed her forehead, "sorry I'm late."

"You're here, that's all that matters."

Dr. Whitley cleared her throat, "how have you been feeling, Gabby?"

"Tired and sore."

"Both to be expected. Let's go ahead and take a look at your ribs, ok?" Dr. Whitley had Gabby lean back and pull her shirt up just enough to take a look at the bruising. She pressed lightly on Gabby's ribs and gave her patient an apologetic look. "Sorry." She removed her stethoscope from around her neck, "can you go ahead an sit up for me so I can take a listen to your lungs?"

Gabby sat up through the pain and took the required breaths she had been instructed to take. "It doesn't hurt as much as before."

"But it still hurts?" Gabby nodded. Dr. Whitley rested her stethoscope back around her neck. "Well they're definitely healing but it's going to take more time. What about headaches?"

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't have one right now."

Dr. Whitley nodded, "concussions are nothing to mess with and while you seem to be recovering, it sounds to me like you've still a got a ways to go."

Gabby's heart dropped at Dr. Whitley's words. "How long of a ways?"

"I can't put a time frame on something like a concussion. Not to mention, your body took a pretty big beating and you're lucky to not have more severe internal injuries."

"So you don't know when you can clear me to return to work?"

"I'm sorry, Gabby. It could be a few weeks, it could be a few months. As a paramedic, your job can be strenuous and putting that kind of stress on your body before you've completely healed will just make matters worse."

"So why were you late?"

"I was cornered in the garage by Shay," he cast a quick glance her way, looking for a possible reaction. But as usual, she was all poker face.

"Oh."

"So you have been avoiding her?"

"Did she say that?"

"Basically."

Gabby sighed and leaned her ahead against her seat, "I wasn't purposefully trying to avoid her. It just kind of happened." She shrugged, "I've kind of been avoiding everybody. It makes things easier."

"Well maybe it makes things easier for now but what about later?"

"Well you heard Dr. Whitley, I'm out of work indefinitely." She closed her eyes, effectively ending the conversation before Matt could really add anything else. She could feel her headache worsening by the second.

"This is probably a bad time to bring up that your brother invited us over for dinner tonight."

"Aunt Gabby!" Diego jumped up from the kitchen table where he'd been working on his homework. He threw his arms around her, unaware of the pain she was still feeling. "I've missed you!"

Gabby bit back a cry and stumbled back, had it not been for Matt standing right behind her, she's sure she would have fallen.

"Diego!" Antonio yelled when he came into the kitchen, "what did I tell you? Your Aunt Gabby is still healing, be careful!"

Diego released his grip around Gabby and looked up at her sheepishly, "sorry. I hope I didn't hurt you."

Gabby shook her head and ruffled Diego's hair. "You didn't. And I've missed you too." She motioned towards his open books. "Homework?"

Diego rolled his eyes in over dramatic fashion. "Always. It's science, I hate science."

With Eva spending the night at a friend's house, Diego had the four adults' complete attention and he was absolutely loving it. Halfway through another one of Diego's stories from school, Gabby started to feel a little unsteady. She was watching her nephew from the other side of the table but it felt like everything in front of her was moving. She blinked a few times, trying to refocus her gaze.

Matt had been paying close attention to Gabby the minute she'd complained of a headache at her doctor's appointment and when she'd stopped contributing much to the conversation, he got a bit concerned.

He reached his hand out underneath the table and placed it on her thigh, giving a light squeeze. She rested her hand over his and gave it a squeeze in return, letting him know she was ok. She just needed to walk it off, she thought to herself. She sat her fork down and pushed her chair back, earning the attention from everyone else at the table. "Sorry. I have to use the restroom."

Both Laura and Antonio looked at Matt for clarification. "She's still feeling the effects. Dr. Whitley assured us it was normal."

"Effects of what? The explosion at the hospital?" Diego asked, wanting to be apart of the adult conversation. "This kid in my class, his dad was killed in the explosion."

Antonio cleared his throat, "Diego, let's not talk about the explosion, ok?"

"But dad, the grief counselor at school said it's good to talk about things."

"You're right, you're right." Antonio nodded, ruffling his son's hair. "Talking helps."

Matt checked his watch, "it's been a few minutes, I'm going to go see how she is."

Taking the steps two at a time, Matt knocked on the bathroom door before letting himself in. Gabby was leaning against the sink for support and caught Matt's gaze through the mirror.

"I'm ok," she reassured.

Matt nodded and shut the door. "No offense, but you don't look fine. You've been struggling through the entire dinner."

She shrugged and looked down, "I didn't want to ruin dinner." She groaned and gripped the sink tighter, making her knuckles turn white.

Matt rushed to her side, "hey, hey. I think it's time we call it a night." It was only after Gabby wiped her mouth did Matt look down in the toilet and notice the evidence that she'd just relived her dinner. "You threw up?"

"Just a little," Gabby flushed the toilet. "It's fine."

"It's not the first time, is it?"

"Apparently it's normal to have pregnancy symptoms for a few weeks after a miscarriage." She wrapped her arms around her midsection, trying to ignore the feeling of emptiness that had settled inside of her. "Can we go home?"

"Whatever you want." Matt brushed his hands up and down her arms before linking his fingers through one of her hands and guiding her out of the bathroom and back into the kitchen. "Sorry to cut things short, but it's probably best if we head back home."

"But you guys just got here!" Diego whined. "I thought we were gonna play a game? That's what we always do after you guys come over for dinner."

"Maybe next time, ok? It's been a long day for both Gabby and I," Matt tried to reason.

"Well it's been a long day for me too," Diego grumbled. "But I'm still awake enough to play video games."

Laura cleared her throat, "It's not the best night for games, anyways. You've still got homework to finish. Say good-bye to Gabby and Matt."

"But it's Friday!"

"Diego!"

After a quick good-bye to Gabby and Matt. Laura ushered Diego out of the kitchen, leaving Antonio alone with the couple.

"You ok, kid?" Antonio asked.

Gabby nodded, "just got a little light headed. Dr. Whitley said it's normal."

Antonio framed his little sister's face in his hands, trying not to show concern for the clammy feel of his sister's skin. "Well go home and get some sleep because I'm picking you up tomorrow morning for breakfast." He kissed her forehead and pulled back, "I'll even bring coffee."

"As long as you've already had a cup by the time you pick me up," she quipped. "You're not very fun to be around first thing in the morning."

"Ha! You're one to talk!"