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Tara didn't dare open her eyes, she just wasn't ready to wake up and face the day. Instead she squeezed her eyes even tighter and tried to roll over. Instead all she did was cause her very much asleep boyfriend to pull her closer to him as she threatened to upset his position. Not in the mood to struggle with Jax, Tara just gave up moving and closed her eyes again and fell back asleep. Tara awoke again a few hours later and looked up at the clock. It was already later then she had planned to stay with Jax, if she didn't leave now then there was no way in hell she would be able to get any work done today. As her grogness began to fade Tara started to remember what exactly had happened last night: Jax and the blonde, dancing with Happy, almost having sex on the stairs, having angry sex with Jax. Oh god. What have I done, thought Tara, and with that she sat up ignoring the grunts from the blonde haired man still wanting to sleep.

As Tara scrambled around to find her clothes that were God knows where on Jax's messy floor she felt arm go around her waist and start to pull her back down to the bed.

"C'mon darlin', just stay," Jax mumbled as he opened one eye to look at her. "It'll be fun we can spend the day in bed." With the last statement he had started to pepper kisses at her shoulder blades.

"Jax I have to go," Tara was determined to hold her ground this time. Deep down she knew that was only sort of true, but she wasn't quite ready to admit she was running away from what happened last night. Telling Jax that she was jealous would just make him think she didn't trust him. It wasn't that she didn't trust him; it was just that she didn't trust them. Both his so called brothers in arms and the constant stream of skanks could care less that Jax was unavailable. As she resumed the search for her clothes Tara could already feel Jax's anger.

"Whatever, Tara," Jax bit out as he reached to pick up his pants. He knew she might be a little angry with him because of last night, but it wasn't like he was ever going to actually do anything with that blonde. He couldn't understand why she was getting so worked up about it.

Tara sighed as she walked towards the door this was how things usually went with them. She would get upset and Jax would brush it off like nothing. The harder she tried to hold on to him, to stay with him, the more she found herself exhausted. She was tired of giving up and she was tired of fighting. As she reached up to turn the doorknob, she looked back at Jax laying on the bed smoking. Tara let her arm drop, the tears were already starting to form and she desperately tried to blink them back. She stood there motionless, tears falling silently down her face, and for what seemed like hours until she felt her knees start to quiver. And with that she let herself slide down to the floor, the sobs finally started to come as she wrapped her arms around her knees. Desperately trying to bring her chin to her knees.

As soon as Jax saw her start to slide to the floor he was instantly at her side, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and drawing her to him as rubbed her back. Tara just continued to sob into his chest, as he helplessly tried to calm her down.

"Shhh, Tara it's ok, baby. It's ok. You're ok, you're ok," Jax just kept repeating those words are he kissed the top of her head. "Baby it's ok, don't cry."

That seemed to only make her cry harder, until finally, her sobs started slowing down, and her breathing started returning to normal. They sat in silence as Tara's sobs faded into sniffles.

"Jax. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Tara managed to get out; her breaths were hitched as she tried to still catch her breath.

"It's ok, Tara," Jax said, leaning his head against the wall. Her apologizing and he forgiving her was such a common occurrence he wasn't even sure if either of them meant it anymore.

"No, no it's not ok. Its not ok at all," there she had said it. Tara had said what she had been trying to avoid saying. She had put it out there.

"I know," Jax sighed. Simple, to the point, it was out there what they had been dancing around for weeks was out there in the open. Neither of them said anything for couple of minutes. The only sound in the room was of their steady breathing. Jax still had his arm around Tara and her head was nestled between his chin and his shoulder. She was leaning on him like the world depended on it. Not trusting her arms to support her body.

Tara took a breath and just decided to go for it, what else was she to do.

"I can't keep up with you Jax, and, and, and, I want to but this isn't me. I'm not one of them. And I trust you, I do, but I have these fears. I don't want to smother you or control you but I just don't know anymore," Tara started to untangled herself from Jax, she certain he wouldn't want to touch her after what she had said. But to her surprise he pulled her even closer and kissed her head. When he didn't say anything else, Tara continued.

"I've never done this before so I'm not really sure how it works, but I know I can't keep living like this. I need to know once and for all that you want me and only me," she said finally getting everything out. It felt good, she felt free.

Taking a deep breath and running his hands through his hair Jax, mulled over exactly what he could say to this girl who he loved more then anything else to make her see that he wanted to make this right.

"Baby, last night was…last night…last night was…I messed up," it wasn't I'm sorry but it was the best Jax could give her for now. "I shouldn't have let that happen, but I can't promise something like that won't happen again. The girls they come with the lifestyle, I'm not going to lie to you and say that I will never look at another girl. But I can promise that I will never do anything more then that. I can't stop some crow eater from trying because that's what they do. But that's all they will ever do with me. I promise. You're the only girl for me."

It wasn't exactly what Tara wanted, but it was enough. It was enough.

"Tara the kind of feelings I have for you. The 'I need to be with you all the time or I'll die kind', those don't go away. Everything you gave up for me, I'm in this for the long haul," Jax said laying all his cards on the table.

"But I'm never going to be one of them Jax, I'm never going to quite fit in," Tara said the sadness obvious in her voice.

"Jesus Tara, I don't want you to. You take me away from it you keep me sane. I don't want you to become one of them," he said as he pulled away from her to look her in the eyes as he talked. He ever so lightly planted kisses over her puffy eyes, forehead and checks. Before reaching her lips and planting a light kiss on her lips.

Jax knew the problem with the blonde wasn't completely solved. He would still need to make up for it, but they had at least come to some sort of an understanding. Tara was never going to fully understand how exactly she helped Jax. Tara was the reason that he would never turn into Tig, she was the reason he'd never end up like Clay. Even though they'd grown up together and experienced so much together there was something about that didn't quite work. Which was made them work.

"Jax, I still really do need to get home so I can work on my school stuff," Tara said a laugh clearly evident in her voice.

"Alright, lemme take you home," Jax said as he pulled them both up and pulled Tara in for a passionate kiss.

As the pair walked out of the room and through the clubhouse to Jax's bike, Tara ignored the looks she knew the other bikers were giving her after her show last night. She just clung to Jax's hand allowing him to lead her through his world. Jax handed Tara his helmet and climbed onto his bike. Tara bit her lip and held back whatever she was about to say about Jax needing to wear a helmet too and just wrapped her arms around his waist.

Jax cut the bike's engine when they reached her house, there were no cars in the drive way which meant that Tara's dad wasn't home, allowing Jax to actually drop Tara off in front of her house instead of down the street like he normally did. Tara's dad didn't particularly care for Jax, he thought his daughter could do better and hated the biker for forcing his daughter to stay in Charming when she was obviously so much better then this town.

"Bye Baby, I love you," Jax said kissing Tara chastely and leaning his forehead on hers. She handed him back his helmet and walked up to front door.

She waved and called out, "Come by later tonight? I'll leave the window unlocked," and with that she turned and bounced into the house.

Jax started his bike up again and considered what to do next. It seemed like a good idea for ride, just to clear his head and think about what to do next. Jax wasn't sure where exactly he was going, not really focusing on anything the white lines of the highway started to blend together as Jax just drove. The California sun beat down on his back, but the heat only seemed to push him to go faster and faster. And the faster he drove the more he let his mind wander. To Tara, to the club, to everything. Maybe it would make Tara feel better if he was take a step away from temptation. Maybe it was time to stop sneaking around behind Tara's dad's back. Maybe they should move in together. It seemed like a good idea, but Jax wasn't so sure. Living together could also put their problems under a microscope. Jax was over thinking it, he he wanted to keep Tara he needed to show her. She had stayed in Charming for him, he needed to get out of the clubhouse for her.