Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, if I did this would already exist!
Zu and Shadow were walking along a path in the woods.
Shadow: That really fucking sucked! We're fugitives from the fucking army now!
Zu: Yeah, I hope my family is fine.
Shadow, noticing Zu's sadness: They'll be fine, the goverment had you listed a wandering samurai when I saw your report.
Zu: They have a report on me?
Shadow: Yeah! By the way, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KILL THREE FUCKING ARMIES BY YOURSELF?
Zu: Zapdos's help.
Shadow: WHAT THE FUCK? He actually battled with you?
Zu: No! He gave me...
Zu's ears perked up, he heard a guitar strumming in the background.
Zu: It sounds so beautiful.
Shadow: I don't know why, but I think we should follow it.
Zu and Shadow followed the strumming of the guitar.
Zu: Dumm, dum, da, dum-dum. Dada dum, da dum.
Shadow: What are you doing Zu?
Zu: I don't know why, but I feel the music flowing through me.
Shadow: I know, it's like my heart is beating to the tempo.
Zu: I know.
The two never said another word after that as they walked down the path, the strumming growing louder and louder. The soon reached a clearing in the middle of the forest. There was a tree stump in the middle with a Jigglypuff sitting on it.
Zu, thinking: That seems normal.
Zapdos, his voice screaming inside: Zu! What the fuck are you thinking? Doesn't seem odd? Block out the music!
Zu: Put it's so soothing!
Zapdos: ARE YOU DEFYING ME?
Zu, snapping out of the trance: No sir!
Zu then noticed that there was something strange about the Jigglypuff. Insted of it's normal pink color, it was grey. It also had longer fangs sticking out of it's mouth and a set of tiny bat wings in it's back.
Zu: So it's a goth Jigglypuff, I don't see the big deal.
Zapdos: You haven't blocked out the melody, yet! Listen to the words or block out the music!
Zu: I can't get past the melody!
Zapdos: Then what do you have to do?
Zu: I don't... Of course!
Zu thn unsheathed his katana and took an Oran Berry out of his pocket, then sliced it in half, shoving the two pieces into his ears. He then noticed that Shadow was on the ground.
Zu: SHADOW!
Zapdos, inside Zu's head: Leave him, he's fine. Look at the Jigglypuff.
Zu's eyes then focused on the Jigglypuff, which he noticed was holding a black guitar, except it looked weird at the end.
Zu, thinking: I see! He's hypnotizing us with the music!
Zapdos, leaving Zu's head: Now you see, my son. (Note: Religious term, not actual son.)
Zu then focused his full attention at the Jigglypuff.
Zu, preparing to attack: Die you monster!
Jigglypuff: You've broken my melodic curse, how can that have been?
I've practiced it for days, the answer can't be seen!
Zu then stepped closer to the Jigglypuff.
Jigglypuff, getting nervous: Wait. What are you doing, coming ever nearer.
Eyeing my guitar, with not filled with fear-er.
Ah! You broken the spell of... my Phantom... Lullaby!
Zu, pointing at Shadow: Bring him back!
Jigglypuff: Sure, my spell's been broken, he's getting up now.
Shadow, rubbing his head: Why does my fucking head hurt?
Zu, pointing at the Jigglypuff: He tried to kill us!
Shadow, pulling out a kunie knife: He did, did he?
The pair of pokemon moved closer to the scared Jigglypuff.
Jigglypuff: Please! Don't hurt me! I'm just doing what he tells me too!
Shadow, holding Jigglypuff up by the neck: Who?
Jigglypuff: Groudon!
Zu then knocked the Jigglypuff out of Shadow's wings, and put his katana to his throat.
Zu: You work for Groudon!
Jigglypuff, crapping itself: Only so he'll take away my curse!
Zu, taking away his blade: What curse?
Jigglypuff: I was bitten by Count Golbat of Darkness Cave, I have to serve him as long as I'm a vampire!
Shadow: COUNT GOLBAT?
Zu: So, if we kill him, you no longer serve him, and you won't need to do Groudon's bidding?
Jigglypuff: I'll still be a vampire, but yeah.
Zu: Good! Off we go! By the way, what's your name?
Jigglypuff: It's... uh... Puffula. You sure you can kill him?
Zu: I kind of guessed that.
Zu and Puffula walked off into the direction of Darkness Cave.
Shadow, starting to cry: Count Golbat.
Vampire Jigglypuff. Isn't that enough for you to review? I like pie! Meeps!