Chapter 3
Antonio had me thinking and thinking that night. He seems so happy, but its almost like a guard, or an act so no one will ask him what's wrong. How do I know this? Cause I do the same thing. Not exactly with the whole happy thing, but I act cold and unapproachable so people will stay away. I don't need anyone knowing about me or my past. But I'm trying to change. Seriously.
"Ve~ brother, Ludwig is coming over!" Feliciano shouts from downstairs.
"Okay" I shout back and jump up when he storms into my room and feels my forehead.
"Lovi.. Ve~.. are you sick?"
"What the fuck? get off me!" I push feli off.
You see, Ludwig is Feliciano's boyfriend. I despise the potato bastard. I would usually react by throwing a temper tantrum, but maybe I should give him a chance. Nonna would've wanted me to. She always used to say,
"Lovino, sweetie, I cannot be your only friend. You have to be more open to others. I was just like you when I was younger and I wish that I could change it. I wont be around forever."
"Why not?" I whined, pulling on her sleeve.
She sighed and patted my head, "We all die"
I have to do this. Be more open . I don't want to turn out like nonna, living on a bunch of different pills. I have to make a change.
We are all sat down at the dining table. Feliciano, Ludwig, and I. To not seem like a complete asshole, I decide to make conversation.
"So.. Um Ludwig, h-how are you?"
Feliciano's eyes widen and Ludwig drops his fork. What? I can start a conversation, dammit!
"Oh. Um, I am good" He replies and regains his posture. Feli still remains with his eyes wide open.
"Would you stop?" I snap my fingers in front of his face and he snaps out of it.
"Ve~ You just never ask Luddy questions. You usually stay closed off."
I slip into a flashback.
We are all sat at the dining table.
"Lovino, nonna said you are suffering again" nonno said to me.
"W-What?" I stutter
"Listen, you need to be more open. Damn, why cant you be more like your brother? You know, less fucked up?"
Nonna bangs her fist against the table and glares at nonno.
"Don't you dare call him a fuck up. Have you ever thought that what you say hurts him, and makes him more closed off?"
They begin to fight.
And its all my fault.
"All my fault. All my fault." I start mumbling under my breath and shaking. "All my fault."
"Lovi! Stop!" Feliciano yells when I pick up a knife. He whacks it out of my hand and I start to cry.
"Feliciano, what's happening?" Ludwig asks nervously.
"He's having one of his attacks!"
Then I black out.