Penelope could not believe it had been so long since she'd last seen him. Since she'd last touched him, held him, loved him. She was standing in front of their old apartment, trying to grasp all that had changed in her neighborhood. The sidewalks were no longer bare. Instead, they were decorated with wildflowers and miniature palm trees. The trash that used to flutter from the street to the sidewalk and back was gone. Glancing up from the ground she realized the apartment landlord painted all the doors from their gloomy grey state to a bright brown. She chuckled when she noticed the same lights on the neon sign hanging over the balcony were still out. Penelope had driven past this building many times, but she never had the courage to stop and walk around. She knew he would not be there, the memories would be too painful, but she still had to have concrete evidence. With that thought swarming her mind and heart, she walked up to the door that used to lead to their apartment and knocked.
Penelope was overwhelmed with the memory of when he knocked on her door. The knock that changed her life forever.
"One second!" Penelope shouted from her tiny kitchen. She was in the middle of cooking dinner for herself when 3 loud knocks came from her door. She glanced towards the clock and read it was a quarter past 9 p.m. Peeking through the peep hole, Penelope saw Derek standing on her porch holding a pizza and liter of soda.
She opened the door and scrunched her eyebrows together, "Derek, what're you doing here?"
He raised an eyebrow and asked, "What? Your best friend can't just stop by and offer you a beautifully warm pizza from your favorite pizza joint?" He shook his head and began to turn. "Fine, I guess I'll take this home and eat alone."
Penelope laughed as she grabbed his arm and tugged him back up the porch. "You're a way more awesome best friend than I am. Thanks." She looped her arm through his and they walked into her apartment.
"So," she said once she had put the food she was preparing for herself back into their containers and in the refrigerator, "What's really up? I thought earlier you said you had a date with Tamara?" She walked into her even smaller living room and sat on the couch next to him. She noticed his uneasiness, and let the question float in the air for a moment.
When she reached for a slice of pineapple and ham heaven, Derek grabbed her wrist and turned towards her. Penelope jumped in shock, partly because of the unexpected physical contact, and partly because he touch always sent waves of electricity through her body.
Derek licked his bottom lip and absently massaged his fingers over her own. Even though the gesture was small and insignificant, Penelope was quickly losing her breath.
"Derek?" Penelope hoped he would either start talking, distracting her from his touch; or that he would let go. She prayed it wasn't the latter.
"Have you ever felt like letting go?" Derek's focus was on their contact; his strong fingers smoothing over Penelope's small, fragile fingers.
"I, um... I don't know what you mean?"
Derek let go of her hand and shifted an inch away from her. "Have you ever felt like giving up? Letting go of everything you knew, because it seemed to only cause you pain?"
No longer because of their touch, Penelope's breathing shallowed even more.
"Derek, what are you talking about? I'm not a profiler like you. I can't read between the lines."
When Derek looked up and into Penelope's eyes, she saw such sadness that her breathing stopped completely.
"Oh, Derek!" Penelope launched herself onto him, and wrapped her arms around his waist. She tucked her head into the crook of his neck and felt his tears drip onto her shoulder.
"Baby, I, I don't know. I don't know what's wrong." He tightly wrapped his arms around her, and Penelope began to rub circles into his lower back.
"Oh, Derek. I'm so sorry. I've been such a lousy best friend. Damn it!" She pulled back and looked at him. "What happened tonight with Tamara?"
He puffed out air, somewhat resembling a laugh, "Nothing happened. Nothing has been happening the 2 months I've been seeing her. Instead of making me happy, she's dragging me down." Penelope opened her mouth to interject, but he continued, "It's not like she's doing it on purpose. It's just..." He looked up at Penelope.
"What, Derek? It's what?"
"She doesn't measure up to you." Shivers ran up and down Penelope's spine.
"And that is causing you to want to give up? Let go?" Penelope tried her damnedest to keep composure, but she was cracking. "Derek, if anyone doesn't measure up to someone, it's me not measuring up to her." Penelope let out a low chuckle, similar to Derek's, and looked at him, "She's pretty much freaking perfect for you. Tall, dark, and beautiful."
"Oh, baby. You're so wrong. So wrong."
Damn this man, Penelope thought as she locked eyes with him again. She knew it was coming, she could feel it. From the tips of her toes the hairs on top of her head. Every fiber in her being was humming in anticipation.
When it happened the anticipation boiled over and she was on fire. He locked his hands into her hair, holding her with the gentlest of care, yet keeping her in place. Her hands roamed over his shoulders and down his back. She couldn't help it, her hands had a mind of their own. They touched his whole upper body, searching for new territory to claim. Though, she wasn't the only one. Derek's hands moved to life once hers did.
She moaned into his mouth when he asked to deepen it. The feeling of his tongue probing her lips, begging for entrance into her mouth sent a new kind of shock waves through her body. It still raced through her whole body, but it hit harder between her thighs. Her legs tightened against each other as she kneeled up onto the couch.
Derek wrenched his mouth from hers, only to cascade down her creamy neck.
"Tamara has nothing on you. Sweet baby Jesus. How could you even think that." Derek breathed onto her neck. He trailed his hands up from her waist to rest right below her breasts. "She doesn't have your beautiful skin, your ruby lips. Damn, your those perfectly shaped, perfectly glossed lips drives me crazy!" Penelope chuckled and squeezed his neck before he continued again. "She has absolutely no curves. Nothing is luscious or womanly about her. She doesn't have your sense of humor. Your intelligence. Your eyes. Your hair. Your lips." He pulled back and grinned. "I kinda got a thing for your lips." He gave her a quick, hot kiss before he pulled back and said, "In case you couldn't tell."
Pulling back further her looked at her and said, "Penelope, she's not you. And I can't be with anyone other than you. You've ruined me for other women, and I'm damn happy you did. You're perfect, baby. I don't care what other people say, what they whisper about you, about me, about us. I only care about you. And if I'm unable to earn your heart- I don't think I'll be able to continue this pretending that all I want is friendship. Because, Baby Girl, I want so much more than friendship from you. I want everything. It all. I want the endless nights of talking, the all day movie watching, the dinner creations gone wrong, the midnight ice cream trips." He pulled her hands from behind his back and brought her knuckles to his lips. He gave them a soft kiss and said, "I want to be able to kiss you on the lips every time and anytime I want. And I want you to be able to do the same." Again, he brought her hand up and kissed it. He blinked hard once, pushing back the emotional tears and said in a raspy voice, "Can I have that, baby? Will you allow me your heart?"
Her lips quivered, "Oh, Derek. You can have all that and so much more."
Waiting a few seconds, Penelope stood motionless in front of the door. After what felt like a minute, she began to feel silly.
Why am I here? No one I know is going to- Her thoughts stopped short when a young African-American boy answered the door. He could not have been more than four or five, but Penelope did not make the connection. All she could see was his deep brown eyes and his quick grin. Her breathing shallowed as she stumbled down the steps and towards her car. Her glance shot back to the door just as an older gentleman was pushing the young boy aside and looking down the walkway. He noticed Penelope and gave her a confused smile.
"Hello. Can I help you?" He gently pushed the boy inside the apartment and stepped out onto the first step.
Penelope took a deep breath and disconnected eye contact, "I was looking for someone. He used to live here, two and half years ago. Or," She made eye contact again, "Does he still live here?" Penelope looked at him with her eyes pleading him to deny her suspicions.
The old man rubbed his balding head and shook his head, "I don't know who stayed here before me, dear. Myself and my grandson moved in a few months ago." Penelope noticeably breathed a sigh of relief, "I'm not sure who lived here before us, because I only met with the landlord, Harold. He's a real nice man, if you're looking for a place to stay," Penelope interrupted him.
"Oh no." She smiled, "I was just looking... checking up on an old friend." Her mind began to flood with images and memories of him. "Thank you though." She smiled one last time, then climbed into her car, and started to engine. With one last wave, she smiled and began driving down the road. She did not know what she was doing, or where she was going. But she knew where she needed to go and who she needed to see. The man who stole her heart. The man who broke her heart. The only man who would ever be able to heal her.
Derek Morgan.
A/N: I KNOW! I've been M.I.A. I have tried writing this ending so many times, but I couldn't. So I've written a filler, mostly a flashback. I hope you enjoy it. Lemme know if it seems rushed. I got that vibe, but decided to put it out and let you guys tell me. Haha. Anyways, I'm on summer now, so I'll be updating within the week! Btw, I was listening to Lifehouse's song "Hanging By A Moment". It sorta, kinda goes with this, but mostly the line that says, "I'm hanging by a moment here with you." And I picture that applying to Penelope when she recounts the moment that changed her and Derek's relationship.