FarFlight Scout
In the two months after SkyDrifter's death, RavenDance spent most of her time alone in her room or at Strike Force practice. GoldFlight was worried for her. His daughter had always been immensely social, and although he had expected her to mourn, it worried him that she did not seem to be improving at all. He knew how hard it was to lose someone you loved. He had had to go through it three times. BlueFeather disappeared, he had had to leave Calera, and now StarGlory was dead, cut in half by an axe before his very eyes. Not only did he lose his wife on this Beltide night but also a beloved daughter. Although RavenDance was his favorite child, he had loved EvenStar deeply. She would have made a wonderful Enchanter, having been taught by both StarGlory and CrimsonStar.
He sighed, his thoughts suddenly shifting. CrimsonStar had caused a lot of grief in the family. GoldFlight had seen him follow RavenDance into the woods and had also seen him walk back out alone just before the attack. He had warned his younger brother that RavenDance was devoted to SkyDrifter, but CrimsonStar's all consuming need for his daughter had pushed whatever sense he might have had out of his head. He was already resuming his pursuit of her. That did not please RavenDance at all. Three weeks ago, CrimsonStar had gone to her room in the night and offered to help her ease the sting of loneliness. RavenDance had been furious. She screamed at CrimsonStar to get out and had thrown a full wine cup at his head. There was now quite a bit of tension between the two and between CrimsonStar and himself. His younger brother was not used to being refused by the women he pursued and spent a lot of his time sulking. Part of GoldFlight wished that RavenDance would accept CrimsonStar's advances. Another lover would do her some good. The other half of him was livid with his brother for being so insensitive. He did not know exactly what he felt.
Overwhelming guilt distracted him from his every day duties as Talon. When the humans came that day before Beltide, he should have suspected that something would happen. His idiotic pride had blinded him. He had let himself be blinded. Now the deaths of thousands of Icarii and Avar weighed on his shoulders. Sometimes he and RavenDance talked, and she would tell him that it was not his fault, that no one would suspect an attack on Beltide. But it did little to console him. He was the Talon, a leader, it was his duty to protect his people, the people Tencendor, and he had failed miserably. It was obvious that this would be all out war with the humans. He would not let their transgression go un-avenged. He had promised himself and RavenDance that.
"Father," HoverWing's angry voice interrupted his thoughts. He turned to see his son walking into the room. He was sweating, and GoldFlight assumed that he had just come from a Strike Force practice. HoverWing had taken over SkyDrifter's position as a Wing-Leader. GoldFlight wondered what had upset his son so. He did not have to wait long to find out. "RavenDance," HoverWing growled, "Has become unbearable."
GoldFlight shook his head with a sigh. RavenDance again. She had been causing problems in Strike Force practice quite a bit according to HoverWing. She either sulked, refusing to put her best effort into whatever she was doing or she refused to follow simple orders from HoverWing. Once she got angry and even went so far as to shout that he would never be as skilled as SkyDrifter had been. That had infuriated HoverWing. It had taken a whole week to help him understand his sister's pain and persuade him to forgive her. "What is it this time?" he asked wearily.
HoverWing sighed exasperatedly and went and sat in a chair. He placed his head in his hands and raked his fingers through his hair angrily. "It's the same," he grated, "She won't listen to what I say. If I tell her to try harder at something, she sulks and complains and refuses to do anything. If I tell her to rest, she throws a tantrum about how I insult her skills. Along with replacing SkyDrifter as Wing-Leader, I also have the misfortune of replacing him as her sparring partner. She constantly compares my every move to SkyDrifter's, telling me about everything I did wrong and everything he would have done right. I can't take anymore of it!"
GoldFlight sighed again- it seemed like he was doing that a lot of late. "She's in pain, my son," he said softly, "More pain than either of us can understand. True, I have also lost the woman I love as well as your other sister, EvenStar, but I have dealt with loss before. I am very old, and although it pains me greatly that I have lost StarGlory it is different from what RavenDance feels. SkyDrifter was her first love, her first real love. She is hurting badly right now, very badly. Your sister has always had a big heart filled with compassion, more compassion than any other Icarii. I suppose she got it from her mother, from the human blood in her. That heart is breaking. Try to understand. I will talk to her all the same."
HoverWing let his eyes slide closed for a moment and shook his head. "I know, I know," he replied quietly, "My heart breaks for her. It does. RavenDance is my friend as well as my sister. I love her. I'll try to be more understanding. But she's just… impossible! I don't know how to handle her."
GoldFlight nodded. RavenDance had always been a handful, whether her mood was good or bad. Now he had no doubt that she was impossible. "I will keep her out of practice for a few days," he said finally, "I try to make her see that she can't go on like this no matter the pain she feels. It is not what SkyDrifter would have wanted. Things will be alright."
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RavenDance flew to her father's chamber in a huff. He had ordered her to miss Strike Force practice and come see him, and she was furious about it. In the two months after Beltide, Strike Force practice had been one of the only ways to take her mind off the loneliness that she felt daily.
The pain she felt was unbearable. Although now she could sometimes go a few hours without crying, every morning the first thought that came to her mind when she awoke was 'The man I loved is gone. He's gone, and he's never coming back.' Her friends and family assured her that she would not feel like this forever, and she knew they must be right, but sometimes it didn't seem like it. She dismissed all thoughts of SkyDrifter as she approached the doors of GoldFlight SunSoar's chambers. She took a deep breath and shoved them open.
"What's the meaning of this, Father?" she demanded, "I need to practice."
"RavenDance," GoldFlight replied, shaking his head wearily, "Your brother came to me yesterday. Why must you goad him so? He complains that you do not follow his orders or show him proper respect. I have no doubt that this is true." He paused, but RavenDance only met his eyes levelly without speaking, so he continued in a hesitant voice. "RavenDance, I know how hard SkyDrifter's death has been on you, but…."
"Don't!" RavenDance interrupted forcefully, "I don't want to talk about him." She feared that if she let her father start talking about SkyDrifter and death she would begin to cry. She didn't want him to see her crying right now.
"Very well," he responded with a sympathetic nod, "But remember, I know how upset you are, and I understand what you are going through. Still your behavior these past weeks has not been acceptable. However, I have been thinking of a solution."
"And what might that be?" she asked with an all too sweet smile. She was in no mood to be lectured for her behavior. She wanted to go take her anger out in Wing practice. It was surprising how therapeutic beating objects- and occasionally her brother- with a stave could be.
"DragonWing is sending out a band of FarFlight scouts to let us know of the position of the humans' army," GoldFlight began. DragonWing was the senior Crest-Leader of the Strike Force. "I want you to go with him."
RavenDance's eyes widened, and her nostrils flared in indignation. How dare he and HoverWing conspire to send her away so that she- and her temper- would be out of their hair? But before the angry words could pour forth, another thought came into her mind. This would be a chance to help defeat the humans. A chance for glory if she and the other FarFlight scouts could find valuable information. A chance to avenge SkyDrifter. In the end, the memory of her dead lover and his valiance and bravery compelled her to answer as she did. She held her head high, the thought of SkyDrifter causing her dark violet eyes to water slightly, and said unflinchingly, "When do I leave?"
GoldFlight regarded her warily. She from the way he was standing- his back stiff and straight, shoulders squared, and his knuckles white in fists- that he had been expecting a fight. It wasn't often that RavenDance accepted orders so easily. She saw him visibly relax. His fists unclenched and his shoulders slumped a little. "The day after tomorrow."