Chapter 3

When Finn awoke early the next morning, he was certain that he hadn't heard Kurt return down to their shared bedroom the night before. It was a couple of hours before school but he sat up, flicked on his bedside lamp and glanced through sleepy eyes at Kurt's bed, which was empty. On remembering last nights events, it struck Finn how difficult it must be for Kurt to sleep in the same room as him, just metres away, feeling the way that he did, and the sickening feeling of swirly guilt returned all too soon, accompanied by that alien feeling of which Finn still could not identify.

Emerging from the basement doorway, Finn saw Kurt wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, his head lolling to one side. As Finn slowly approached, he watched Kurt with intrigue, wondering not only how someone could fall asleep in that position, but also how he had never noticed before how little Kurt was. Dragging his heavy gaze across the room, Finn felt a new twinge of guilt in his gut as he noticed the case of Kurt's 'The Wizard of Oz' DVD sitting on the coffee table; he only ever watched it when he was sad, to cheer himself up. Finn had found this out during one of their chats earlier in the year. It apparently reminded Kurt of his mother; Finn felt vile.

Returning his attention to Kurt, Finn crept to the couch. He thought for a second, wondering if he should just pass Kurt as he obviously didn't get much sleep. However, Finn didn't want him to strain his neck, so he lowered himself carefully next to Kurt, trying not to disrupt the couch too much with his heavy frame, and slid his shoulder under Kurt's still face. He sat up slightly straighter so that Kurt could rest against him and this appeased Finn's guilt slightly, knowing that on some level he had decisively acted for Kurt's benefit. He knew that his apology was going to have to be better than that, but it was a start.

Now that he was settled and aligned with the T.V, Finn could see that Kurt must have fallen asleep to the movie as he could see the menu screen dancing in front of him, suggesting that the film had run full cycle. He wished he had noticed this earlier, as now the remote was tauntingly out of reach if he wanted to get it without waking Kurt, even with his long limbs. With a self contained grumble about hating mornings, Finn yawned, giving in, and accepted perusing the living room as a form of entertainment.

The Hudson's and Hummel's had been living together for some time now, and Finn had inspected this room many times, but there was something about how the early morning light streamed through the pale curtains accompanied by the tranquillity of the quiet house that made everything appear differently. As he scanned, Finn noticed how every detail of the house was Kurt, whether it was the stylish trimmings of the room that Finn could not believe would be down to Burt, or the fact that every wall and sideboard had a photo of Kurt on it somewhere, nestled amongst the rest of the family who Finn knew they rarely saw.

Finn smiled to himself. He also knew that Kurt disliked having his picture taken, so the fact that the room was lined with them had to be down to somebody else's insistence. It warmed Finn to know that no matter what happened to Kurt, his friend had a home like this filled with nothing but love for him that he could escape to.

As Finn started to sift through the menagerie of thoughts wafting through his head, including confusion as to why the strange fuzziness he kept experiencing was surrounding him once more, or the surprise at himself that he could actually remember any of the things Kurt had told him, he heard a change in Kurt's breathing as he began to stir.

"Oh well," Finnthought, casting his cognitions aside, "its way too early in the morning to do this much thinking anyway."

Kurt cracked his eyes, and Finn found himself gently chuckling to the look of confusion on his face. After a second, it dawned on Kurt where he was and he rolled himself to a sitting position, groaning with fatigue as he went. Finn decided that sooner was probably better than later for apologies; Kurt's sharp wit would be numbed by weariness.

"Look Kurt," he began, his eyes darting to the floor, "I'm really sorry about what I said yesterday. You shouldn't have to disguise who you are, that's not right."

"No Finn, I'm sorry. Karofsky and Azimio are my problem, not yours." Kurt huffed, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"No, dude," Finn whined, a wave of shame washing over him, "Look, it hasn't been easy on me, what with the guys at school and all, since we moved in together, but I haven't dealt with things as well as I could have, and I've been really selfish. You helped me when I really needed it, and I'm gunna do the same. I promise."

Finn finished his impassioned speech by gazing at the opposite wall whilst placing his hand on Kurt's still wrapped shoulder, and there was a short silence as Finn anxiously awaited a reply, rather unsure of what to expect.

"Thank you," Kurt eventually whispered, his disused voice breaking slightly, and Finn realised the reason why Kurt had faltered as he turned his head to watch a singular tear escape from the corner of Kurt's eye.

"Hey man, no problem," Finn grinned, overcome with relief and gentle affection for the slighter boy. He rolled Kurt back onto his shoulder and hugged him to his side, "And you know what? It's your guys' performance today, and I can't wait to see it, I bet you're gunna rock it."

"Well in that case," Kurt sighed, prying himself away from Finn and hauling himself out of the tangle of blankets, "I'd best go and get ready." Hestaggered towards the basement door watched by a bemused Finn.

"Kurt, it's 6.15. We have hours before school," Finn pointed out, sitting up.

"Yes," Kurt said simply, raising his eyebrows as he turned in the basement doorway, "and hours is what it takes if you want to look as good as me on a daily basis," he finished with a slender smile on his lips.

Finn smirked at Kurt's back as he ever gracefully descended to the bedroom, and as simply as that, Finn felt better than he had in weeks. He still could not work out why he had got so worked up in the first place, yet, what he did know, as he leaned forward onto his knees and clicked the 'off' button on the T.V remote, was that he would make good on his promise.

-Caught in a bad Romance-

During the car ride into school, Finn had managed to dig a few details of the coming performance out of Kurt, and now as he and the boys filed into the auditorium behind Mr Schue, Finn found himself growing increasingly excited. He still didn't know much about Lady Gaga, and he had not managed to obtain any information of consequence out of a defiant Kurt, but when Finn observed how the girls and Kurt were already in their starting positions under dimmed lights, he smiled to himself as he sat, knowing that he was about to watch a fantastic show.

Kurt eagerly awaited the first tap of the drummer's sticks that would lead him into his favourite lead vocals to date, and he felt nervous. Kurt hadn't felt this nervous about a performance in years, he lived for the opportunity to shine, but as he thought of how he had enjoyed teasing Finn in the car earlier simply by keeping quiet, he definitely felt tense. In a moment that felt like a hour, he dug to the root of his nerves and six words sprung to the forefront of his mind: 'I bet you're gunna rock it,' and as that first tap arrived, a beaming look crossed Kurt's face as he decided that he would indeed 'rock it' when fuelled by an endorsement such as that.

"Ra ra ah ah ah ah, rum-ma, rum-ma-mah, Gaga, ooo-la-la, want your bad romance!"

The stage was an explosion of colour as the lights rose on the 'Little Monsters'. Finn still had no idea what that meant and he didn't quite understand the gibberish lyrics that were streaming from Kurt's mouth, but it didn't seem to matter anymore how clueless he was as Finn watched Kurt burst into life; he truly seemed to be in his element, and smiling broader than Finn had ever seen as the performers engaged their routine. Finn surveyed the crazy dance moves and facial expressions with amusement. He felt like he was missing something, but Finn had to admit that the song was catchy.

"Maybe I should listen to some of her stuff?" he thought, laughing out load when the group organised themselves into a line, and then Kurt popped his head into view from the middle with a rogue, "Hey!" As the performers hit the chorus, Finn wondered if he was beginning to understand the bizarre costumes. The way he figured it, if Gaga's songs and dance moves were all big bunches of crazy, then the clothes probably had to be too, to give some kind of message that still eluded him; that's what Mr Schue would say.

It occurred to Finn that he should probably look at the girls at least once; after all it was their performance as well, and Santana did look smoking hot in her black lace costume. Finn also thought to himself that this would be the perfect time to rekindle his attempts to win Rachel now that Jessie seemed to be back out of the picture. All he would have to do was pay attention to her so that he could compliment her on a few details of her performance later and she would give him all the time that he wanted, except Finn couldn't really feel any motivation; the girls were being swallowed up by Kurt's magnetism.

Thus, it seemed fitting to Finn that at the end of the performance the girls circled around Kurt as he stood in his favourite Gaga pose, singing the main lyrics, and that the end position was the group of them huddled together with Kurt crouched down front-centre. To Finn, it justly felt like the performance solely belonged to Kurt.

Finn stood, applauding his approval along with Mr Schue. He could tell that as the other boys joined in the clapping behind him, they were wondering why he was suddenly so into Lady Gaga, but Finn didn't care. He felt like he had been taught a lesson, and although he may not have fully understood it, he wholeheartedly appreciated it.

Kurt was ecstatic; that was easily one of his best performances ever, he could feel it. What made Kurt happier still was that he could hear Finn clapping his approval. After all, the whole new level of awesome that he had just reached was down to Finn. Kurt scanned the auditorium and when he made eye contact with Finn, he received thumbs up and one of Finn's should-be-world-famous lopsided smiles and his insides felt like they were still vigorously dancing. Kurt could feel himself blushing, but as he swept a stray piece of wig out of his face he could be confident that the red in his cheeks would be interpreted by everyone in the room as lethargy after their tiring performance.

A huge surge of pride flew around Finn's body as he watched Kurt blush at the reaction he had created within the audience and the girls, who were all flocking around him, giving him their own praise. Finn felt delighted that every single person in the room had noticed Kurt's brilliance during that performance, even the girls who could only seen him for a fraction of the time, and Finn gasped as he felt his unnamed fuzziness sharply focus in his mind.

It was a sense of duty; it was his duty to protect this Kurt, to keep this happy, delicate Kurt safe. Finn grappled to pin down the evading reason why he felt this strong feeling of orbit that was drawing him to Kurt, but at least he had figured out something at last, and in that moment, that was enough.