Chapter 3 – Messy elephant
"How is you compromising yourself for my crazy, any different from your relationship with Terri?" Emma asked in earnest.
Will remained silent as realization dawned on him but he secretly thought that just because Emma was giving him a choice, she was more of a woman than Terri could ever be. He kept it to himself however, because he could see that Emma was right. They both needed to take some time apart from each other.
"When you figure out what your needs are, Emma said with restrain while fixing his tie, maybe I'll be ready to get a little messy"
Will sighed but continued to look into her eyes, until she asked him to leave so she could close the door and have a good cry. When Will left her office, she stared into nothingness for a couple of seconds and a sob rocked her body. It dawned on her that her office walls were actually made of glass, so crying her heart out was probably out of the question.
"What now?" She thought. She went from madly in love to heartbroken in a matter of hours. But she still didn't break her own record. Going from blushing bride to left at the altar in a matter of minutes. However, Emma thought while scribbling down the lyrics to All by myself on a piece of paper, complete with a doodle of a Lubriderm bottle, this was not an end. It wasn't even a beginning. It was the end of the beginning for her and Will.
Sure, there was always the possibility of Will, after analyzing his needs, figuring out that what he most definitely DOESN'T need is the big ol bucket of Crazy that was Emma Pillsbury in his life. The thought of staying in the school, watching Will follow his bliss right into another woman's arms was pretty heart breaking for Emma. She subconsciously drove her pencil into the paper she had been scribbling on and broke its tip.
Emma sighed and took out a small pencil sharpener. After sharpening the pencil she noticed it was now slightly shorter than the other two pencils that she usually kept on her desk. She placed it next to its brothers and stared at the three uneven writing instruments for a while.
"This doesn't bother me." She said to herself, referring to the obvious lack of order that currently marred her desk like a big fat graphite bruise. There were three pencils on the desk, one shorter then the rest.
"Nope, doesn't bother me at all", she whispered again and opened up her day planer to reschedule her Wednesdays. Obviously there wouldn't be any date nights for an indefinite period of time. She reached her hand to grab a pen, and glanced at the shorter pencil. A pang of hurt struck her chest seeing the poor pencil trapped between two longer ones. Two perfect, longer pencils, who probably had more sexual experience then the shorter one.
She quickly grabbed that pen and began to cross out "Wednesday date nights" from her agenda. She checked her work schedule for the rest of the week, thinking that she's going to have to try and act brave for the kids coming in to see her, even though she was a mess inside. Again she looked at the pencil. Then back at her day planner. And back at the pencil, which now looked more miserable then ever. Completely out of it's league among its taller brethren. Looking at Emma in that pitiful pointy way that pencils are so good at.
"I know what you're trying to do" Emma whispered leering down at the poor defenseless writing utensil. "You're trying to guilt me into sharpening the other two pencils. Well it's not going to happen. You messed up mister." She said pointing her finger. "You made your bed now lay… What am I doing?"
Emma sat up abruptly and realized how ridiculous the whole scenario was. She quickly got out of the office feeling like the whole room was purposefully driving her insane. Soon she'd be yelling at the wallpaper for not being cheery enough, or at the desk chair for not providing enough support for her back. Which coincidentally it didn't, but she wasn't going to bring it up any time soon. The chair wasn't on the hook… yet.
The sound of Emma's hill clicking away on the shiny floors of McKinley high reverberated through the less shiny halls of the same building. She wanted to take a walk outside but stopped in front of a candy dispenser. She had told Will to go search for himself, while she would endeavor to get her messy on, as the kids would say it. She remembered that as a child she had a massive sweet tooth, before renouncing chocolate and dairy products forever.
Emma longed to live the simple life of a child again, and she also longed to enjoy some of the simpler things of life. Like sex and candy. Not necessarily in that order. So she bought herself a random bar of dark chocolate. She could be messy. She could for instance eat something that was basically sugar wrapper in chemical sludge and cooled down in an additive spray.
No biggie.
Emma delicately unwrapped the chocolate bar and stared at it straight in its chocolaty face.
"Fortune favor the bold" she encouraged herself and took a medium sized bite. It was… it was…
Disgusting.
Emma looked for the nearest trashcan to spit in and took a huge gulp of ear. She spit out the smaller bits too, wiping her face with an anti bacterial wipe. Chemically processed sweets were bad, but they couldn't possibly be that bad she thought. She looked at the wrapper with closer attention and realized that the bar she had just been munching on was actually expired. In fact, the expiration date had passed two years ago.
"That stingy Figgins and his blasted budget cuts", Emma whispered with malice
The world was a dangerous world to be for Emma that day. She suddenly remembered the pencils in her office, and felt cornered. She was trapped outside her protective cocoon smelling of Purelle and bleach, she had tempted fate by acting reckless and now she was going to let that same chaos into her office.
She rushed inside and grabbed the pencil sharpener and sharpened the bejeezus out of those other two pencils. Until she stopped herself. For the umpteenth time that day, the young woman asked… "What am I doing? I just let go of the most amazing man I have ever known… and all I care about… is sharpening pencils!"
She looked at her hands in disgust. She was mental. No doubt about it. In frustration over the ridiculous method she had chosen to handle the situation she threw out the palms of her hands and wiped the pencils off of her desk. They hit the floor with just a muffled clack and Emma plopped down on her desk chair and began to cry.
After a good ten minutes of that she looked up from her hands and went to clear up the mess she had caused.
"Wait a minute, her face lit up. A mess. I made a mess!"
Well it wasn't a mess by most people's standards. Most people would say she simply dropped something on the floor. But Emma was not most people The fact that she purposefully ruined the harmony of her office was a big breakthrough for her. It signaled the fact that if you pushed her hard enough and long enough, she could change.
Emma threw everything away, and made a mental note to buy more pencils the next day. And from now on, there's only going to be ONE pencil sitting on her desk. Still upset over what happened that day, but now feeling more hopeful about the future, she packed up and went home.
AN: Ugh, I absolutely hate this chapter but it had to be done. I've only ever seen Emma arrange 3 pencils on her desk once and I think it was in the second episode but I just latched one to it for some reason and I run that metaphor into the ground. I'm sorry about that, I promise the future chapters will be better and will focus less on office equipment and expired candy. Next up… the elephant vs the panda.p