Chapter 3

"No Matter What"

Later that same afternoon, Reid was well enough to be checked out. When the doctor came in to tell Reid he would be free to go, JJ, Rossi, and Hotch were still with him.

"Dr. Reid, you are free to check out, but it is quite necessary that you go through rehabilitation so that we don't meet again this way," the doctor said when he walked in, "Which facility would you prefer to check into?"

Reid was unsure of how to respond to the doctor's question, so he looked to JJ, Hotch, and Rossi for answers.

"Dr. Reid can't go into rehab without this going on his permanent record," answered Hotch.

Rossi chimed in, "I have a vacation cabin outside the city out in the woods. It's a nice remote area where Dr. Reid can clean up."

"Quite frankly, he's too important to us and the rest of the team for this to go on his permanent record," JJ finished.

"Well, it sounds like you all have everything in place. Dr. Reid, you're free to get dressed and leave," the doctor said as he left the room.

"Thank you all for doing this for me," Reid said.

"We're family. No thanks necessary. Now get dressed," Rossi said, then turning to JJ, leading her out the door, he continued, "JJ, I'll need to give you the address and keys to the cabin."

Confused, Reid again turned to Hotch for answers.

"JJ will be staying with you at Rossi's cabin while you go through the process of giving up the drug for good," Hotch explained to him, "When Rossi volunteered his cabin for you to use, JJ insisted that she was staying with you before we had even verbally established the fact that you didn't need to do this alone."

"You're letting her come with me?" he faltered, "I don't want her to see me like that! The withdrawal process is brutal. I've tried to make it through before plenty of times, so I would know! I can't let her see me like that!"

"She was very adamant about staying with you. No one was going to cross her about it either," Hotch confided in him, "You scared her pretty bad when she found you at your place. She almost lost you once, and she's afraid of losing you forever."

Reid, now fully dressed in his own clothing, sat back down on the hospital bed roughly rubbing the tears from his eyes.

He looked up at Hotch and shakily said, "I'm sorry I put all of you through so much."

"Apology accepted, but I'm not the one that really needs to hear it. You know who you need to apologize to. She may not admit it, but she needs it."

"She deserves the apology," Reid whispered staring down at his feet ashamed.

After a car ride that lasted roughly two hours, JJ parked her car in front of Rossi's cabin. It had been a fairly quiet car ride. JJ contently hummed or quietly sang along with songs on the radio. Reid spent the entire time trying to find the right words to say to her. He had already messed up so much, and he needed the right words to make things right.

As she turned off the car and started to reach to open her door, Reid gently grabbed her by the arm to stop her saying, "Jenn, I need to say something before we go inside."

"What is it, Spence?" she questioned.

"I need to apologize," he began.

She interrupted saying, "Spence, you don't have to. . ."

"I need to say this," he cut her off gently.

He took a deep breath and took a moment to gather his thoughts. He had spent the entire car ride planning his words, and he wanted to make sure he said them all.

He took another deep breath and said, "Jennifer, I was selfish. I couldn't handle the pain, and I was too afraid to ask for help. I wanted to come to you, but I didn't want you to think any less of me. I was weak and tried to take the easy way out. I just couldn't take the pain anymore. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself for doing this to you. Can you ever forgive me?"

Tears silently rolled down her cheeks as she looked him directly in the eyes.

"Of course I forgive you, Spence. I hate that you've been in so much pain, and I do wish you would have been able to come to me. Seeing so lifeless terrified me. I thought I had lost you forever. I will always be thankful that you were unsuccessful. Second chances in situations like this are rare, Spence, and all that matters now is that I'm never leaving your side again. I love you, Spencer Reid, so much," she said pressing her lips against his.

He returned the kiss slightly moaning. He was still in awe that she loved him just as much as he loved her. He pulled away saying, "I love you, too, Jennifer Jareau."

They climbed out of the car, wiping tears from their eyes. They grabbed their bags from the trunk of the car and walked hand-in-hand to the front door.

As JJ unlocked the front door, Reid said, "Are you sure you want to stay with me? These next two weeks aren't going to be easy for me. I'll be sick, cramping, in unbearable pain, begging you for the drug. Can you handle that? Are you really sure you want to do this?"

JJ looked him in the eyes, grabbed his face with both hands, and kissed him forcefully, causing him to almost lose his balance. He quickly responded by grabbing her by the waist, pulling her as close to him as possible.

She pulled away saying, "I'm not leaving your side. No matter what."