I woke up to see pewdie's face near mine, and I jumped up with a yelp at the ackking felling in my side. I quickly scanned the room a found Stephano on the other side of me. Pewdie had his arms wrapped tightly around me, the reason for the acking feeling, and when I jumped he mumbled in his sleep."Mariza. Go back to sleep." I blushed madly after relizing the contact.
"Uh... I can't." I said back with a lot of blushing.
"Why not?" Pewdie moaned annoyed and tired.
"'Cause I'm not Mariza." I said quietly, and pewdie's eyes snapped open. He looked at me then at were his arms were then back at me. "Shit! F***, f***, f***... f***!" Pewdie cursed like a sailor as he jumped up in bed and tried to back away from me a little. "I'm so sorry I have a girlfriend and... uh… I just... shit!"
"No, no, it's OK, just, er... let's forget it happened?" I asked almost blabbering as much as he was doing.
"Yes!" Pewdie stated happily. "Uh, I'm a' wake Stephano up." Pewdie said and leaned across me. "Stephano. Dudde. Get up." with each sentence he gave a poke to Stephano's shoulder and emposised the get up part with a gruff breathless tone.
"Stop bugging me pewdie. I'm still tired." Stephano moaned waving pewds hand away from where it was poking him in the face. I smiled at it and I thought it was funny.
"Stephano?" I asked politely after all what I was about to say I found important.
"What!" Stephano moaned again his eyes snapping to look at where my face would be but sleep made him look dazed out and I knew he wasn't really looking at me.
"Thank you!" I smiled happily at him and I could tell my face was probably to flushed to be possible.
"Yeah. Whatever." He said with a tired grunt before plopping his head back down on the pillows spilling his long hair all over.
"So we should get going, but sadly the door to the next room is locked, and I can't find the key in the place it was supposed to be..." pewdie said as I slipped out of the bed at the same place as he did. "I'm gona go look for them again, he said and walked outside as I stud up and stretched.
A memory hit me from yesterday and I exclaimed in excitement that I was being useful. "Oh, I think I have it!" I said, to late, and began looking threw my bag, now on the night stand.
"Oh, sorry to say but I think I have them." Stephano said. "I didn't mean to be snoopy but I couldn't help it." He said nervously as he sat up in the bed. "I didn't go threw your trunk though. I thought that should stay private." He said his accent back and in full caps mode making me want to jump back onto the bed and give him the same kind of bear hugs I give my friend I like to call. "my personal bone hugging migeet." Because he's all skin and bone and he's also the shortest friend I have.
"If you wanted to know what's on me then just ask next time." I said nervesly holding back the urge to make him "my tall hugging statue."
"Oh, okay." He replied finally getting out of the bed with a carless yawn.
Then I remembered some thing and I had to make a point of it quick "just don't touch my trunk, ever." I said making a point to sound cold years of watching and scolding little people coming in handy.
"Why what's in there?" He asked back just as coldly all cute ness gone.
"None of your concern!" I said. I couldn't have him look in there and see not only my binders and other girlly things he shouldn't see but my old bandages, extra combat throwing knives, military missions and reports, and most important things, razor blades, and pain killers- strong ones. I had been a cutter for a few years but I revived help, sadly it never made the temptation of putting a blade to my flesh less tempting. I didn't want them to know what I did and stuffed in there. I didn't want them to know that I was also a marrder.
"I thought you said you would tell if we asked!" He snapped back.
"That's the rule for my bag but my trunk is off limits!" I yelled in return
"That's stupid!" He yelled back in my face.
"Are you saying I'm stupid?!" I yelled back looking down in fear of the answer.
"Well, yeah, if that's a rule for something, but not for something else!" That was a definitely a yes and for some reason it hurt more then any large argument I've ever had and this compared to my normal arguments this was nothing.
"Your annoying!" I yelled stomping the ground that's how I normally ended an argument by sending aninsult weather to myself or another was about my mood.
"And you're worse!" He yelled at me again.
"At least I don't have a fake stupid accent!" I was beginning to shake now because of my tears and all I wanted to do was run.
"I wish that I never told pewdie about you and that you were still dieing in the f*****g closet!" He yelled back and I snapped from my anger only then did I realize that I was crying.
"I knew you hated me..." I sighed as the tears began to get longer, wetter, and hotter.
"Duh, why else would I say I wanted you dead!" He continued to yell.
"You just don't get it do you!" I yelled and looked him in the eyes hopping he would take it all back, feel sorry for me, comfort me, but that stuff never really worked on me because I knew that it would just happen again. And again. It Never ends. In fact I was never fixed, - My wounds were bandaged, but they just continued to bleed - I just learned to hide it better.
Stephano just sat there. His dark golden eyes staring into my light sky blue.
"I need to be alone." I said sternly, went to my trunk and grabbed a razor and some gauze, I didn't bother with the big bandaids-I knew this one was going to be deep.
"Fine but remember any thing can happen." He said as if not caring.
"Whatever." I said and walked out the room and down the hall to another room that was unlocked.
I sat down on the counter in the kitchen I had wandered into and cut my wrist. The felling of the blood runing down my arm wasn't as fun as every one thinks it is for cutters. It made me sick. But emotional pain isn't something I know how to deal with, on the other hand I know how to deal with my body's pain, cutting just transfers it. I wiped the blood away with some of the gauze and it completely soaked about half a foot of the end. I was about to take my razor and cut again when I heard pewdie call down the hall. "Midnight! Helleow~! Stephano said you went this way!" He was looking for me. "You better be." He mumbled nervously, obviously frightened by the castle. I heard him trying to open the same doors I found locked. I ignored him, the pain was coming back at the rememberence of Stephano and what he said, I grabbed my razor, he'll give up in a minute. I cut again this time not as deep. The door opened. Pewdie was staring at me. I quickly grabbed the gauze and wrapped it around it and tied it off before shoved it behind my back in hope he never saw it, but he did, and boy was he mad.