Slowly opening his eyes Shepard felt a wave of relief. Yes no nightmares! Looking beside him to see Miranda in a peaceful dream he was bombarded by feelings of love, compassion and above all gratitude.
He believed he was the luckiest man in the galaxy to find a woman who wanted to stand by him no matter what. To face all the demons and torments of his past together. He was a lucky man indeed.

Slowly crawling out of bed as to not wake her he made his way to the bathroom. After having a quick shower and brushing his teeth Shepard took a long good look in the Mirror,
He noticed something a cut on his cheek that he had no knowledge of having. As he ran his finger down the now open wound Shepard could feel his face on fire. Clawing and ripping at his now tissue like skin he was in horror at what he was witnessing. His skin and flesh were gone nothing remained at what the man everyone knew to be Shepard. Hesitantly looking up to see the atrocity he had just committed, Josh saw a mechanical face as if he were a husk. Skin, bone and all features that made him human were gone and replace by a metallic shell of his former self.

A evil and deep voice came over that echoed through the entire environment.

"We built you we made you serve us!" Josh was flung against the mirror. He could feel Shards of glass embedded in his back as the unknown force pushed more and more against him. The morning sun began to grow dark all forms of color left the world he knew, as a figure appeared in the bathroom doorway.

He could scarcely make out who it was until a flicker of light emitted from the now destroyed bathroom ceiling. It was Miranda. With each step she took, Josh's heartbeat increased. When her nose was nearly touching his, a smile appeared on her face. This was not a smile of joy or hope but, a smile that indicated pain was about to be made.

"Miri help me please! Whats going on are you..." As his last word escaped his mouth Shepard's worst nightmare was staring right at him. He looked in terror as the woman he loved had become the abomination he so desperately thought so hard to prevent. Looking at the unknown figure all features that made Miranda herself were replaced with devices of unnatural material.

Gasping for air Josh awoke to a sweet yet concerned voice.

"Josh...Josh please wake up!" Miranda was on top of him shaking his shoulders to wake him from his nightmarish slumber. Thinking that wasn't enough Miranda went in to slap Josh when she was caught by the wrist.

"Wait wait I'm up!" He said as he was gripping Miranda's wrist" Miri...please tell me that its you." He said with a tone of fear and plead. The dream he had just experienced moments ago were already bringing up multiple question to him.

He was worried what it meant or was it foreshadowing something he did not know. What ever it was he had to make sure that he was awake. Rushing out of bed to check in the mirror for any signs of dis-configuration or marks on his face but he was stopped by a concerned voice.

"Josh whats wrong?" Miranda asked with a tone that would break most men.

Ignoring Miranda's question Shepard ran straight for the bathroom I sure as hell hope this is not a dream. looking in the mirror everything seemed ordinary no cuts or bruises Although Shepard did look like hell the lack of sleep thanks to his nightmares were taking toll on the man pretty hard. Damn Josh you look like shit. Washing his face in some water he decided to run a shower.

"Is everything alright in there Josh...Josh please talk to me." The constant thump at the door was being ignored as the tears streamed down his face. A nightmare was the perfect word to describe the experienced he had just witnessed. The intensity the realism of having to see the woman you love be transformed into a mere shadow of her former self was terrifying to say the least.
Heart still racing from moment before he continued to study his face in the mirror. Suddenly as if from no where Shepard's rage emitted and his fist met with the glass. Shards broke off some in the air others now in the tired soldiers hand. A short roar and then smash followed as skin met glass. That was it Miranda biotic's flared just a little and flung the door open. As soon as this happened Shepard rolled back in to a defensive position on the opposite side of the ground. Miranda looked at him with confusion Her eyes darting from the now broken mirror to the well broken man.

"Joshua please calm down. It's okay look your safe." Miranda eased in slowly to the Commander who was still bent on one knee with his forearms in a pose as if to defend himself and another perhaps, His environment became fuzzy and the now burned down street slowly dispersed and the cabin bathroom reappeared as if from no where. Wait I was just... Whats going on!
Looking around to see Miranda right in front of him cupping his hands in hers confusion came over him. Shepard slowly stood up feeling a little groggy. "Are you okay?" He asked as Miranda helped ease him up to feet. "Me? I think I should be asking you that. Here sit down." Feeling a sicking turn in his stomach Shepard rushed straight for the toilet were he through up continuously. Miranda rushed to his side and place on had on his shoulder and another on his arm.
"Easy it's okay" After several minute of empty the contents of his stomach Shepard led against the cold yet reliving floor of the bathroom. Miranda joined him never once leaving his side.

"I take it this wasn't the shore leave you were expecting huh?" He asked eyes closed.

"Very funny always trying to lighten up the mood." As silence filled the room Miranda started to speak. "I've never seen you like this? I mean has this ever happened before the throwing up, the thrashing in your sleep?" She asked as the concern grew and grew.

He knew that Miranda would want answers it was unfair to leave her in the dark. That moment for the first time in a year did he realize how much she didn't know about him.

"Yeah a couple of times."

Wanting to know more Miranda asked.,,"When did they occur?"

A small sigh left him and he answered "After I was rescued, Anderson took me aboard the SSV London gave me cabin a small one but it was comfortable I guess. Couldn't sleep much as you can expect. Throwing up ever night, when I did sleep it wasn't for long. I'd wake up screaming in agony for no reason Anderson would rush in try to calm me down. He did his best with me you know. Tried to be a father figure wasn't easy but he tried."

Shepard began to trail off to months prior when the final push commenced Having to pull the trigger on the man that took you in as your own and raised you was well terrifying to him.
He never meant too, the Illusive man had some kind of biotic upgrade from the Reapers that made him able to control Shepard. Anderson's last moments echoed through his mind.

"You ever wonder how things would have been different? How our live would have been different had this never happened? I never had a family Shepard, never had children."

He could see the man was reaching his end. Josh answered back to keep him going. "There will be time for that now."

He answered back in disbelief. "I think that ship has sailed. What about you? Ever think about settling down?"

The question had always been on his mind for a long time. Shepard never really believed he would ever be able to after Mindoir after his family had been taken away from him.

Shepard replied "I'm a soldier Anderson like you. Not really fit for doing anything else."

Although the thought became more after meeting Miranda. Anderson never wanted a life for Shepard to be in the Alliance to see more death. Yet Shepard would not allow it he wanted to change want had bee done at Mindoir. He wanted to make sure that no one should have to go through what he did so he devoted his life to protecting others and he still does to this day. He remember Anderson answering back in disbelief at what he said.

"Sure you would."

"Yeah I like the sound of that. I'm not sure I'd be much good at it though?"

"I don't know Shepard I'd think you'd make a great dad."

Laughing he just said "uh huh." But Anderson knew he would be great at it.

"Think how proud you kids would be, telling everyone there dad is Commander Shepard!"

"I don't know about that...not everything I've done is something to be proud of." He never believed that he was perfect that everything he had done was good. But Anderson knew he was the greatest man he had ever known, and with his last breath his said.

"You did good son you did good, I'm proud of you."

"You okay?" Miranda's voice broke him form his past. She saw he was thinking about something that obviously was painful because the expression on his face showed it.

"Uh yeah sorry I uh was just...no I'm not Miri. I killed him the man that raised me like son. Who never gave up on me and always believed me without a moments hesitation...I shot him. And you know what his last words were? "I'm proud of you." Why? Everyone I care about dies ever single person I know has had pain inflicted on them because of me! And he said he was proud. I just cant see why? My parents were good honest people, who never harmed anyone, my brother was just a boy and they were killed like animals. I saw my father bleed to death my mother burned in are own home and I told my little brother to run as I tried to fight them to protect him. But I failed at that. For several day they kept me alive so they torture me. Laughing and smiling as I cried out for help and pleaded them to stop. After a week they left me for dead. I could not feel anything after awhile, my home my family my friends dead. And then he came. The man who rescued me and taught me to control my anger and fears. I shot they should not be dead...I should."

She was speechless. Commander Joshua Shepard the man believed to be invincible, was broken before her. Miranda could not hold her tears and neither could he. She took his head and rested it on her lap.

"I'm sorry..I'm so so sorry." Was all she could manage to say at the moment. He led there and cried into her lap letting out the years upon years of pain he had been caused. After several minutes he calmed down, sat up and looked her in her eyes.

"I've never spoken about that." His voice was quiet. "Thank you for being here. It's a relief to have someone here with me."

"I'm not going anywhere I'm right where I want to be. Now let me help you with your hand."

The specter was confused at Miranda words until he looked down and saw blood dripping of his hand and glass still stuck in. He forgot about it completely. The pair stood and made there way to the kitchen. Shepard sat down on the table whilst Miranda fetched some bandages.

He began to laugh. "Your always patching me up." Miranda smiled at the joke as she returned to the table.

"Well if I didn't then who would?" She said as she begun to pick the shards out from his hands. "I know that was hard for you. I had no idea that's what really happened. Its just." Her hand began to shake as she tried to help his injured hand. Josh noticing this placed his hand on hers.

"Miri you wanted to help me I get that. And don't think just because you saw me like that, that it did not help. Because in all honesty I needed to do that I needed to tell someone. There is more some I remember some I don't. I cant promise you that I'll be rid off that. But you want me to get help I do it. I'll see someone."

"Thank you." She said as she continued working on his hand."Why don't you give Garrus a call maybe you could relax a bit."

"What about you?"

"I'm feeling a little bit tired I did not get much sleep." She didn't realize what she said."I mean um sorry." Looking up at him with a sad expression only to find him smiling.

"Miss Lawson as blunt as ever. Don't worry I know what you mean. I forget that I'm not the only one that going through this."

Miranda having finished with his hand kissed the commander and said."We are a team we're in this together."

With a huge smile across his face he said. "Damn right we are!" Shepard left to go see Garrus, who was also staying close by to keep an eye on his friends. Once he left Miranda Immediately when to there bedroom and picked up her console to research the Mindoir attack.

After several hours of hacking through Alliance firewalls and using some of Shepard own codes which she acquired using her operative training Miranda had found some very disturbing files on the attack. As she read on and on her fear rose and rose. She found data data vids and began to play one of them.

This is Commander David Anderson of fire team one, the boy Joshua is currently being treated. His wounds are severe he has received multiple broken bones and fractures to his body. Not to mention the physiological damage that has been done to him. I can't believe what I saw my best friend dead throat cut and family destroyed. He was good man the best I had ever known he didn't deserve this none of them did. I know who did this and they'll pay...one day they'll pay. As for the boy I can't be certain he'll remember the mans face he talks about him. Says he sees him in his dreams I cant imagine what that's like. I don't think he'll remember I don't want him too. I've seen in his eyes something I haven't before. He's seen death at an early age I pray he will be alright. If he's anything like his father he will be. I would tell the boy about his father but that would make thing worse. Maybe he should know, but those who served with him will. I will take the boy I owe his dad that much, he must never know what really happened to them. I fear that it may cause him to do something he will regret. I cant shake that look he gave me when he talked about their leader. Hackett Thinks we should go after them, make them pay. That's not what he would have wanted. I think the boy needs us and I'll take full responsibility for him. He must never know what happened. This is Commander David Anderson signing off.

Attached to the vid was a service record for a one Stephen Shepard. In there was a photo of a man that looked very similar to Josh, but without hair and a full beard instead of stubble His record contained all of his information, but there was very little.

Name: Shepard, Stephen

Birth/death: April 27th, 2122/ March 9th 2170

Rank: Captain, N7

Service: 16 years honorably discharged after years of service to the Alliance

Miranda could not believe what she was reading. Everything Shepard had known about his father was wrong further more there was only one person alive who knew the truth...Hackett. Miranda began to call on her Omni-tool. Anderson's last words were echoing through her mind as she dialed. He must never know. She did not know what to do but for now she needed to talk to someone. Looking at the photo who was the father of the savior of the galaxy Miranda was sad to see that all remained of him was a file. She wanted to know why his name was erased from official Alliance records. And stored in a top-secret archive. He deserves better than this! She though to herself. Now Miranda was on a mission to help find the truth of Mindoir and help Shepard with his demons.