Chapter 3

Hermiod looked at Lindsey Novak with his unblinking black eyes. "No," he told her.

Lindsey's eyes filled with dread. She was truly stuck between a rock and a hard place: Caldwell had ordered them to land the Daedalus on Atlantis, but Hermiod refused.

"But, why?" she asked the alien.

Hermiod did not answer, but instead pushed a single button. The sounds of Celine Dion – halfway through "My Heart will go on" filled the room. Seconds later Hermiod turned it off again. He looked at Lindsey again. "No."

Now Lindsey had the unfortunate task of informing Colonel Caldwell.

"Colonel, Hermiod refuses to take us down to the planet," she said over the intercom. Anxiously she awaited her commander's reply, seeing the way he could raise his eyebrows if he was annoyed.

"Repeat, Novak. Did you say Hermiod refuses to take us down?"

"Yes, sir," she nearly stammered. "He doesn't like Celine Dion."

"Celine Dion?"

"Yes. 'Sounds of Silence' has been replaced by 'My Heart will go on.'"

The com was silent for a long moment. Then the weary voice of Caldwell came back: "I would have thought they had fixed that problem by now."

"No sir," Lindsey hiccupped. But she must be honest; she was glad it was Hermiod that refused to land. She, too, could not imagine having to hear the same song – especially that song – repeatedly. The crew of the Daedalus had thought "Sounds of Silence" was bad enough. That was why they had offered to do a complete inventory of the abandoned Wraith complex on the swamp planet HBB-UY2.

It was now Caldwell's task to speak to Atlantis. He wondered if there was any way to contact them without the risk of Celine Dion.

"Caldwell to Atlantis," he said as the lieutenant indicated the link has been established with the city. In return all he got from the planet was "My Heart will go on," freshly started.

"Respond, Atlantis!" This discussion had better be quick, he thought to himself.

Finally a voice answered – but it was so distorted that he hardly recognised it as Doctor Weir.

"Where the hell have you been!" she demanded.

"Doctor?" he asked. But he was not as perplexed by her tone as he pretended.

"Where have you been! We need to get back to Earth: right now!" she replied. Was it just his imagination, or did the music suddenly seem louder?

"Why do you need to return to earth?" Although he just might guess at the answer.

"We need to get Rodney McKay back. And yes, the SGC has approved it!" Weir sounded very stressed.

"Okay. Get a team ready, and we'll beam you up," he told her. "Hermiod refuses to land," he added to waylay any further questions. Then he nodded at the lieutenant and the link was severed. Wonderful, soothing silence filled the bridge.

######

"Sorry, Major. You're out of luck."

"But sir, you will need my skills!"

"And what skills would that be?"

"Um," Lorne began, suddenly in muddy waters. He looked desperately at his commanding officer, who was smiling just the teensiest bit. The tiny smug grin seemed as cruel as the craziest scientist-in-a-tower-with-lots-of-lightning's evil laugh.

"Exactly," John Sheppard said. "And that's why you are staying here! Besides," he continued, desperately trying not to let his elation at an off-world mission show, "you are my second in command! We can't both leave."

Just then two marines entered. One was carrying a chair, the other lots of duct-tape. Lorne's eyes widened in disbelief. "You're not serious!" he shrieked.

"Look, it's just for a couple of months. We'll be back as soon as we can convince McKay to come back to the Pegasus Galaxy." The marines sat Lorne down and started to tie him to the chair. Lorne wondered how John had heard about his plans – along with SGA-2 – to stowaway on the Daedalus. Then he suddenly wondered if John was telling him not to worry because he was being left behind, or because they plan to leave him tied to the chair for that time.

Seconds later John vanished in the light of the transport-beam. Lorne had been abandoned.

######

Three weeks later...

John, Ronon and Teyla looked around at the idyllic beach. They had been told they would find Rodney here with a kid named Billy. The kid with the laptop on the beach would probably be him, John grinned as they neared the spot where Billy sat.

"Isn't that Doctor McKay," Teyla suddenly said, slightly pointing towards a man and a cute Asian girl jogging along the water-line.

Ronon grinned that half-grin he reserved for insulting McKay. "McKay doesn't jog," he smirked. John had to agree.

"Especially not with such a sexy woman," he added. By now they had reached the young man. He had stood up and smiled at them.

"Hello. You must be the people Sara had warned me were coming," he said. "Hey, I'm Billy Morgan." As he shook hands he was introduced to the Atlantis team. The poor kid seemed fine until Ronon glared at him. But then, Ronon had that effect on most people – except Weir. She simply raised a single eyebrow and looked at him until he capitulated.

Billy turned to John, ignoring Ronon as best he could. "Doctor McKay and Zoe will be back soon. They're just finishing their run."

The three Atlanteans turned around and looked at the couple further down the beach. Even though they had the evidence in front of their eyes, John still needed to say: "McKay doesn't jog."

"No, Doctor McKay jogs three times a week," Billy informed them.

Still staring at something their minds refused to believe, Teyla asked the confused young man: "Are you sure it's Rodney McKay you're talking about?"

Billy frowned. "Yes. Doctor McKay once said he had come into the habit of jogging because he used to run for his life at least three times a week. Oh," Billy added, "he also mumbled something about the ghost ships being big."

John finally looked at the man. "Ghost ships?"

"Yes. Although he called them wraiths," Billy frowned. "I guess that's some secret password or something. I really wish I knew what he had done for a living before. It sounded like fun."

"Yeah, fun," the big Sateydan drawled.

Just then Rodney and the woman called Zoe jogged up to them. Rodney was looking down as he jogged, but suddenly he looked up and spotted SGA-1. The scientist stopped in his tracks.

"Oh, great, what are you doing here?' he asked with a frown, waving his hand in their direction – almost as if the heavens owed him an explanation.

"It's good to see you too, McKay," John said sarcastically. Teyla winced. Yip, that was really going to help convince Rodney, she thought.

"No, really," Rodney said, folding his arms and standing on his heels and lifting his chin, "how did you find me?"

"Well," John explained. "Doctor Faye told Doctor Lee who told Colonel Carter who told us you actually gave a minion a compliment."

"Faye? I don't know a Faye."

"Yes. Apparently a friend of Faye told him he knew of a friend who had told him about it."

Next to John Billy slowly started to inch away and Sheppard suddenly knew who the minion was.

Rodney suddenly glared at Billy, pointing a finger. "It was you, wasn't it? That's why you have been so smug lately!" He glared at the frightened man. "That's the last time I compliment anybody!"

John decided it was time to do what they have come to do. "Okay, McKay, holiday is up. Time to get back to work." Teyla groaned softly, knowing they would never convince the scientist after that comment!

"No," Rodney simply said, folding his arms again.

John smiled at Zoe. "Can't you help convince him?" he asked her.

"Hey, don't you Kirk her!" Rodney growled, waving a pointed finger at John and Zoe.

"Please, Doctor McKay," Teyla tried. "We really need you."

"No. You've had your chance," Rodney replied.

"Aw, McKay," Ronon grinned. "I think even the city needs you."

"No. Now go away." And with that Rodney turned around and jogged to the nicest car John had seen in a very long time. But was it just his imagination, or was the car glaring at them?