There was a moment I prayed for my soul

I was crawlin' and hidin' in a deep dark hole

I cried in the morning

I cried in the night

I was a drifter caught in the wind

Prepared to lose but I was tryin' to win

And I was breakin' all the records

On givin' in

Kasey Chambers, "Sign on the Door"

Part 3 – Will Makes Conversation

As soon as Will had smiled his 'I'm harmless' smile, he knew he'd miscalculated. Mr. Eppes's eyes narrowed and he folded his arms. Never forget, Will chided himself, That no man who fathered Don and Charlie is going to be an idiot.

Mr. Eppes said coolly, "How about where you met my son?"

Will instantly saw the image of fiery Don addressing a crowd of law enforcement agents about Charlie and Colby's kidnapping. That was the image that had been seared into Will's mind, the image of the incredible man he couldn't have, yet later somehow ended up in his bed … Following upon that image was another vivid one of Don embracing Charlie, after they'd found Colby and Charlie alive, against all odds, at the bottom of a pit where the kidnappers had shot and tossed them.

Will said, "Actually, sir—"

"Alan," Don's father interrupted.

Will didn't feel like arguing the point, so he just said, "Actually, Alan, it was when your other son was kidnapped."

Mr. Eppes winced and reached out for the hand of that son.

Will said, "You know that Don called in just about everybody with a badge and that meant the DEA too. I met Don there, in a way." He totally blew me away. I actually saved his life that day, not that he noticed – he was too focused on finding his brother and his agent.

With a wry smile, Will added, "He was busy."

Mr. Eppes squeezed Charlie's hand.

Will continued, "I just sort of …" Researched, stalked, obsessed over. "… Kept an eye out for him after that."

"I'm glad you did," Mr. Eppes said quietly. He held Will's gaze, and a multitude of emotions were there in his eyes for Will to see – gratitude, warning, concern, curiosity.

"You're DEA?" Charlie asked. "Not FBI?"

Will blinked, breaking away from Mr. Eppes, and said to Charlie, "Yeah, a Fed of a different color."

Mr. Eppes let go of Charlie's hand and gave himself a small shake. He said, with a slightly forced smile, "Another Fed. Donnie, couldn't you have found a nice unemployed artist or street musician?"

It was such an odd thing to say, so opposite from what Will's parents would say, that Will startled himself by laughing.

Don smiled and leaned over. "Do you juggle?"

Will laughed again, easier this time. "I've tried a few times, but I'm no Flying Karamazov Brother."

"Flying what?" Charlie asked.

"Great act," Mr. Eppes said.

"You've heard of them?" Will asked.

"They've been around since the early seventies," Mr. Eppes said. "How about you?"

"Uh," Will said, startled, "Thereabouts."

"Dad," Don protested. "Are you seriously asking if he's old enough for me?"

Mr. Eppes shrugged and continued his questions, "Why the DEA?"

"Figured I'd be good at it," Will said.

"I think that was Don's reason for joining the FBI. What did—"

"—and he is good at it," Don interrupted. "So you might want to lay off or he'll track down your stash. He's that good."

"Don!" Will said, divided between horror that Don would say that to his father and curiosity about what Don had heard about him in the DEA.

"You've never found it in years of looking," Mr. Eppes said, unfazed. "If you bring him here, expect us to be curious."

Don grumbled under his breath and reached for another helping of lasagna.

"It's fine," Will told Don. "I don't mind."

But Will did mind the next question out of Mr. Eppes's mouth. "What did your parents think of you joining the DEA?"

Will grimaced and took a long drink of water as he debated how to answer. "They weren't pleased."

Mr. Eppes's eyebrows went up. "Why do I get the impression that that is a gross understatement? What did they say?"

Will reached for his water glass again and noticed his hand was shaking. He didn't really want to go into things that even Don didn't know. His past was a messy box to open.

"New topic," Don said flatly.

Mr. Eppes frowned and started to say something.

Grimly, Don said, "Will, can you get me another beer?"

Don's current beer was only half-finished, but Will got up quickly and headed towards the kitchen.

When the kitchen door closed after him, Will stopped, closed his eyes, and composed himself. Then he got the beer and, looking around, dawdled in the kitchen. He found the recipe for the lasagna and read it with interest.

When he hoped the right amount of time had passed, Will took the beer back to the dining room. Alan and Don were glaring at each other and Charlie was looking between them anxiously.

"Tarragon," Will said. "I should have realized."

Three Eppes faces turned towards him with varying expressions of mystification.

"The lasagna," Will said cheerfully. He handed Don the beer and sat down. "That's your secret ingredient. I should have tasted it."

Don grabbed the beer and opened it. Will noticed that his other beer, which had been half-empty when Will went into the kitchen, was now empty.

"I like to cook," Will said. "Though Italian isn't my forte."

Mr. Eppes looked surprised. "I thought all Feds survived on take-out."

Will smiled. "Most do. I like cooking."

"He's a good cook," Don said. "Korean stuff and other stuff."

"Stuff?" Will said with feigned insult. "You're calling my cooking 'stuff'?"

A smile suddenly split Don's face. "Well, I'm always 'stuffed' afterwards."

Will rolled his eyes and said to Charlie and Mr. Eppes, "I apologize if he hasn't been coming over to dinner as often."

"I figured he was busy," Mr. Eppes said.

The smile spread to Don's eyes and he grinned at Will. "I have been very busy with Will. You want details, Dad?"

Mr. Eppes threw up his hands. "No, thank you. Fine, I won't ask questions, you just tell me what you want to."

Will could almost see Don sorting through what he knew about Will to find the least controversial.

"He got a degree from Pomona College in Sociology," Don said at last.

"Wow, really?" Mr. Eppes said.

"That's a Claremont College," Charlie said. "Did you have classes at Harvey Mudd?"

"You remember that?" Will asked Don. He was surprised, considering that he'd told Don that months ago and Don had been in terrible shape at the time.

Don gave him an 'of course I do' look. Will wondered what else Don remembered. Hell, I wonder what else I told him. Neither of us was quite sane those first few days.

"Uh, yeah," Will said in answer to Charlie's question. "A few classes there, but more at Scripps and Pitzer."

"Sociology?" Mr. Eppes said, leaning forward. "That sounds really interesting."

"It was," Will said. "A totally worthless B.A. but very interesting."

"What B.A. isn't worthless but interesting?" Mr. Eppes smiled. "If I'd have had the time, I'd have gotten a dozen degrees. I'm auditing a few classes at CalSci now."

"Oh?" Will said. "What classes?"

As Mr. Eppes started to tell him about the classes, Don reached over and put his hand on Will's thigh. He gave Will's leg a squeeze and smiled. Will smiled back, relieved at how much better Don was looking. Maybe it was the two beers, but Will hoped that Don was finally happy at how the evening was going.

Will asked Alan more about his Architecture class and Alan responded, then Will mentioned a book he'd read on 'personal space' in architecture and before Will was aware of it, they'd finished dinner, cleaned up and Don was scooping out ice cream for everyone. The conversation between the four of them had been fascinating and entertaining, ranging in topics from city planning to Charlie's reaction at the first time that Don brought home a girlfriend. Other than recent talks with Don, Will hadn't had this good of a conversation since …

Will realized uncomfortably that it had been years since he'd talked with someone that wasn't work-related or someone who he was hoping to sleep with – or both. He didn't really have any close friends, and his family was out of the question. Other than work, aikido, and … more work, he didn't really have anything in his life. He'd never thought of himself as lonely, but that was certainly what he'd been. Until Don.

Will smiled over at Don, who was licking melted ice cream off his fingers. That Don, who was so wonderful in himself, would come with such a family … Will didn't really know how to handle such luck. He was just going to have to get used to it and maybe someday he might even believe that he could become a part of this family and banish loneliness forever.

Once he got Charlie sorted out.