Yo, new chapter and soon I will be posting a new story early but eh, oh well.

"Human speaking"

'Human thinking'

"Biju/Summoning talking"

'Biju/Summoning thinking'

Jutsus

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto at all, sadly or any of the jutsus.

"Okay are you really sure you want me to take a picture of that face?" if you asked the photographer, he would say he was creeped out just wanted to take the picture.

"Yeah, yea! I'm sure! No bodies going to be as awesome as this!" Naruto yelled for he was finally going to be ninja. He wanted a picture to last a life time to spread fear through enemy's hearts.

"Okay. Say cheese." Flash. There's the picture for one young Naruto Uzumaki.

Hiruzen currently is holding a picture of Naruto's ninja ID and he was not amused. Naruto however was and he was grinning like the Joker after an explosion. Not that they knew who he was. "Eh jiji, what do you think? Pretty bad ass right!" however Hiruzen was thinking that it was pretty cool, but extremely inappropriate. The cool picture of Naruto was of him with his hair down covering his now Kyubified eyes and a devilish grin along with the more pronounced whiskers to match the look.

"Naruto. You can't have this picture as your ID. You don't even have your hitai-ate on..." he wondered "... where is your hitai-ate, Naruto?" Hiruzen asked the now sweating Naruto. Naruto wasn't sweating because of his jiji. No he was sweating because of Mikoto's glare who had decided to help the Hokage with missions. She wasn't angry; no she was pissed that her Naru-chan would try to pull this off. She would think of a punishment later.

"Now, n-now Miko-kaa-chan. Hehe, no need to get angry." Naruto tried to calm her down but the the opposite happened and Mikoto started to get even more pissed off.

With speed to rival the hiraishin, she was besides him, his ear in her hand while she was berating him. Naruto had big white eyes with anime tears flowing down saying "sorry" and "it hurts" while the Hokage was sitting there amused. Then everyone heard the door open and saw Konohamaru the Sandaime's grandson with a shuriken in his hand.

"Old man, fight me!" it was all cool until he tripped over his own scarf. Everyone was dumbfounded that a perfectly cool entrance was ruined by the one who was entering, or at least Naruto. 'Does it ever end...' was the single thought going through Hiruzen's mind, who was trying to hide himself behind his hat. "Damn it! Who set that trap?!" while holding his hurting head.

"Are you all right?" Ebisu asked with worry in his voice but he was only worried for his job and the 'honorable grandson' but either way he was worried. "And there isn't a trap anywhere!" explained Ebisu.

"Who's the kid...?" asked Naruto slightly confused as he wasn't familiar with Hiruzen's actual grandson. 'Oh, that's... Bah, the Kyubi punk,
I hate that loser.' No one saw Ebisu glare for brief time but they saw his smirk.

"I know! You did something!" Naruto not taking the blame for something he didn't do became angry and lifted Konohamaru by his collar and released his angered thoughts.

"You just tripped on your own, you idiot!" retorted Naruto but the way Naruto held Konohamaru seemed like a threat to Ebisu and he quickly said his thoughts.

"Hey Naruto! Let go of him! Don't you know that he is Hokage-sama's grandson! A silence filled the room.

"Heh go ahead and punch me! I dare you!" yelled Konohamaru, 'Now that he knows who I am, he can't do it. Pfft... he's just like the rest of my sensei.' was his thought until. WHAM! Naruto's fist came upon his head like a meteor.

"I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE HIS GRANDMA!" proclaimed Naruto as he walked off leaving an impressed Konohamaru, baffled Ebisu, embarrassed Hokage, and a confused and slightly put out Mikoto.

Out in the village, Naruto is walking around after he switched his clothes to a white loose long sleeve, over it, he wore a black no sleeve kimono going down to his knees, and an all black vest with light black armor for his torso and arms, having the Uzumaki swirl on the back in blood red, only to top it all while also having a hood connected to his kimono. He wore some ANBU pants even though he didn't need to and black shinobi sandals. He also wore black gloves with metal plate on the back of his hand, that also had storage seals on them for kunai and shuriken while carrying scrolls on his legs for missions above his kunai pouch. He had his tanto on his back like the ROOT ANBU. Right now, he was walking around trying to calm down when he sensed someone behind and that person was Konohamaru so after a turn he called him to stop hiding.

"Impressive boss, I guess what they say about you is true." Konohamaru looked impressive but Naruto had a deadpan look on his face while thinking 'Your disguise was a fence and it was sideways.'"Train me boss!" Naruto was shocked but put on a grin.

"No way! I'm not gonna train a gaki like you." Konohamaru wanted him to train him though so Naruto put him through a little test nothing to serious. "Okay, first you have to answer my question and if you satisfy me with your answer I will train you. First, what is your dream?"

"Oh that's easy; my dream is to be Hokage!"

"Really now, how are you going to be Hokage if you're all short and weak?"

"Hey! You said only one question! That was two!"

"Well that was your first lesson in being a shinobi, expect the unexpected. Now answer."

"Fine, well Ebisu-sensei said to be hokage, you have to take shortcuts and..." but he didn't get to finish because of Naruto putting his hand up in the stop gesture.

"First of all, Ebisu is a baka and do you think the Hokages to shortcuts to be that strong. Shodaime-sama didn't make all those jutsus by shortcuts. He made them, through trial and error. Jiji didn't become the professor and the Hokage by just reading and using all those jutsus one time. He trained in each jutsu to the point he mastered them. The Yondaime didn't just create the Hiraishin by looking at the scroll the Nidaime had laying around. From what I remember the Nidaime made the jutsu but he didn't complete it because he died, however the Yondaime did and trust me seals aren't easy. The Uzumaki clan were seal masters so because they were smart so smart they could make the Yondaime look like a baby. Do you understand, there are no shortcuts." After that lecture, Konohamaru wanted to work so he, like Naruto, could surpass all the Hokage.

"You're right boss. I'm going to work hard and take no shortcuts to become hokage and surpass them!" Naruto couldn't help but let a small smile crawl on his face; he and Konohamaru were similar to each other.

"Okay Konahamaru I'll show you this one jutsu to beat jiji and more. Okay watch closely. Oiroke no Jutsu" Then smoke filled the spot where Naruto was and when the smoke mostly cleared out, a blonde woman was there with smoke covering her sex and breasts. She had her long golden hair in two pony tails. Konohamaru looked bored when he saw this thinking it was a simple illusion. Naruto saw this and smirked. "Kono-kun it isn't an illusion but more like a real transformation. Feel my breasts." Naruto said his 'Naruko' voice. Konohamaru not backing down from anything went to feel his boss's breasts and was surprise when he could actually feel them and was more curious when he/she moaned. Naruto pushed his hand away and reverted back to his male self with a slight blush. "Konohamaru don't do that to a girl unless you are married or when the right time comes."

"Boss what do you mean?" Konohamaru looked even more confused when Naruto blushed even more when Konohamaru asked that clearly embarrassed.

Flashback no Jutsu

Madara was teaching Itachi and Naruto while Mikoto was out with Fugaku and Sasuke when something came into mind, "Naruto, Itachi do you guys know what sex is." The responses he got told him from a blushing Itachi and a confused Naruto. "Okay Itachi get me the best books on sex and examples of it while I talk to Naruto about what it means." So Itachi put on his weasel mask and left. "Naruto, I want you to listen to me very carefully because Kunoichi will use sex and seduction to get information from men even you. So I will teach what sex is." after a discussion between the two, Itachi saw an amused and smirking Madara and a huge blushing Naruto. "Ah, Itachi your back, do you have the books." at Itachi's nod, he clapped. "Naruto I want you to read these books." Naruto picked them up and started to read. After the first page he flew back with a nosebleed. Madara curious as to what happened read the first page and flew back with a nosebleed as well. Itachi wanting to not feel left out also read and the results ended up the same. All three wearing shit eating grins. The next morning Mikoto saw them and book and gave them a very painful beating using heels chakra and a kunai stating it was training.

Flashback no Jutsu Kai

"Well nothing. Nothing at all." Naruto said with a perverted laugh, which creeped him out. "Well why don't you go ahead and try the jutsu." as he was told Konohamaru tried to do the Jutsu and smoke filled his place and after the smoke cleared what was in his place, was a fat and ugly lady instead. Naruto palm his face, while 'This is going to take a long time' was going through his head.

After a while Konohamaru got the jutsu and even made Naruto get a small nosebleed. "Boss. What's your dream if you don't mind asking?"

Just as soon as Naruto was about to speak Ebisu dropped down. "OH! Honorable Grandson there you are! We must get you back to your home. Why are you hanging around with him." Naruto clutched his fists when he heard Ebisu's disgust. 'He is one of them. I hate those looks.' thought Naruto when he saw Ebisu's glare.

"I'm training with boss! I don't want you as my sensei Ebisu-baka!" Ebisu gasped when he heard what Konohamaru called him "I'm way better now that I have a jutsu capable to defeat jiji and with I will defeat you with! Oiroke no Jutsu!" Then a beautiful brown haired women stood in place instead leaving a gob smack Ebisu and an impressed Naruto.

"Oh this demon has tainted you honorable grandson!" His reaction caused Naruto to shake uncontrollably, Konohamaru speechless, and the hokage and Mikoto to scowl.

Just as Ebisu was about to speak Naruto called out his signature move and Ebisu did not look impressed. However he didn't like the smirk Naruto had and tensed. "Haremu no Jutsu!" and all the clones transformed into the girl Naruto used for his Oiroke no Jutsu causing Konohamaru to look shocked, Ebisu and Hiruzen to get nosebleed, and Mikoto to fume.

"Wow boss that was awesome! Although I will get stronger so I can beat you to the title of Hokage nii-san." This caused Naruto to smile because now Konohamaru is determined to get strong.

"I'm looking forward to it Kono." with both grinning they left having no idea Mikoto and Hiruzen were watching.

The Team selection

Naruto woke up from a good night and as he was eating breakfast he realized that today was the day he gets to be placed on a team. He looked at the clock and gasped at the time. HE WAS LATE! He was eating breakfast so fast he was going to choke. Then he got dressed so fast he forget his underwear. Then... well let's just say he is having a rough morning.

As he was running out he bumped into Mikoto who had given a good beating when she revealed that she was watching him and Konohamaru and also good luck with his new sensei. He then blushed and continued his trek to the academy. When he got there everyone looked gob smacked and Ino blushed at his new attire, who also reprimanded herself that she was in love with Sasuke.

"D-dobe is that you?!" Naruto just nodded to Kiba who got over the shock first, went back into shock. Naruto then looked around to see the most probable students who were clan heirs and one other girl. Kiba Inuzuka the heir to the Inuzuka clan, famous for using nin-dogs. He wears dark grayish pants reaching to his calves and a grey, hooded fur-lined coat. He has his partner, Akamaru, on his head which he stood out because of his white fur on Kiba's spiky brown hair all the time.

Hinata passed out blood flowing out of her nose, and a body covered blush. Hinata Hyuga heiress of the Hyuga clan known for their bloodline the Byakugan one of the Three Great Dojutsus. She had short dark blue hair with chin-length strands framing her face, lavender-white eyes which would indicate the Byakugan. She wears a a over sized cream-colored hooded-jacket to hide when Naruto would look at her while wearing a fire symbol on the upper right and left sleeves and fur around the cuffs and hem, with navy blue pants.

Sasuke Uchiha son of his Miko-kaa-san and Fugaku Uchiha. He had black hair spiked up like a duck's ass. He wore a regular Uchiha outfit: a navy blue, short-sleeved with a high collar and the Uchiha crest n the back and white arm warmers, along with white shorts. He along with the Uchiha clan had the Sharingan that is also one of the Three Great Dojutsus. He also has the number one oversized ego.

Choji Akimichi a more weighted person as well as all the Akimichi. They were known to be able to expand their body and body parts. He has brown hair and he had his hitai-ate adjusted to where he has two holes for his hair to go up into two spikes and he has two swirls on his cheeks. He, like all Akimichis', eat. He wears black shorts, and a long white scarf, a short-sleeved, green haori over a white shirt.

Shikamaru Nara the laziest Nara and person you could find, he was the heir to the Nara clan and they were the smartest clan there was, so don't underestimate. He has shoulder length black hair tied up in a spiky ponytail. His typical outfit is rather plain, consisting of a green lined mesh shirt T-shirt under a short-sleeved grey jacket with green edges, adorned on both the sleeves and the back circle with a line through it, he also wears brown pants, and has his hitai-ate on his left arm.

Ino Yamanaka is the heir to the Yamanaka clan who uses their bloodline to switch or go into minds, perfect for getting information. She has platinum blonde hair which she has it in a ponytail going all the way to her hips and bangs covering her right side going down to her neck. She usually wears a pair of small hoop earrings which she got from her dad, same as Shikamaru and Choji as a sign of formation between the three families since they were known for having the best teamwork, and a short purple vest like blouse with a raised collar, a purple iron skirt that is cut off on the sides and bandages on her stomach and legs, while also wearing white arm warmers, and she uses her hitai-ate as a belt.

Shino Aburame the heir the Aburame, the clan who specializes in bugs and using them. He was, like all Aburame, stoic and secretive. He has dark, bushy, brown hair which was held up by his hitai-ate. His outfit consists of dark sunglasses and a sea-green jacket with its collar upturned and brown pants.

Finally Sakura Haruno Naruto's former crush since Mikoto told him he could do much better, not wanting to disrespect the girl however. She had bright pink hair that was long to go to her mid-back and to bangs reaching down to her chest. She wore a red qipao dress with white circular designs, with or without short-sleeves, tight green shorts, and a hitai-ate to hold back some of her hair. She was rather loud.

Shikamaru who woke up, due to because he was interested in why the class was silent and was, like the class, shocked. "Naruto, I thought you didn't graduate. So, why are you here?" Now that the class thought about it, Naruto did fail, so why WAS he here.

"Well if you can't see my hitai-ate on my forehead then you must not be as smart as the rest of the Nara clan." Feeling a bit disrespected Shikamaru decided to defend his brain as it wasn't too troublesome, or until Naruto laughed. "Hahaha calm down Shika, it was a joke I know you're smarter than most people from class."

"That's right. I'm going to sleep. Troublesome blonde." Until Iruka came in and forbid him to unless he would like to work train his next class. Shikamaru just stayed awake thinking it was less troublesome. Troublesome Nara.

"Okay class, this year is going to be a little different since one of you are going to be an apprentice, so Hokage-sama had someone who had been home trained to even things out. Please welcome Sai." A pale skinned boy with short, black hair with black eyes. He wears a short black jacket with red straps, and carries a tanto on his back, much like Naruto, and underneath the jacket he has a high-collared midriff shirt and black pants. He also had a fake smile plastered across his face.

Everyone's thoughts on Sai was range from cute to creepy to indifference, except for Naruto who knew where Sai was from. Iruka then began to tell the teams. "...Team 7 Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha..."

"YES! THAT INO-PIG!" Iruka, who was interrupted, glared at Sakura who decided to yell. Who in turn looked sheepish and embarrassed, and sat back down.

"Anyways. Finally Sai. Your sensei will be Kakashi Hatake. Team 8, Hinata Hyuga, Kiba Inuzuka, and Shino Aburame. Your sensei will be Kurenai Yuhi. Team 9 is currently unavailable due to the team still being in use. Team 10, Ino Yamanaka, Shikamaru Nara, and Choji Akimichi. Your sensei will be Asuma Sarutobi. Team 11 is the apprentice's team. Naruto Uzumaki, your sensei is Anko Mitarashi." Naruto went wide-eye with fear as he remembered that name. That name. That even Itachi feared. That name is where Mikoto got her sadistic side boosted. That person with that name is some who he did not want to see. Before he could run a black blur shot through the window and a sign that had 'THE SINGLE, SEXY, SENSEI FOR TEAM 11!' with a woman with violet hair in a ponytail similar to Iruka's except it's more fanned out, wearing nothing except for a tan trench coat with the inside purple and two pockets on the side of the front, a fitted mesh body suit that is stretch from the neck to her thighs and snake fang on a thick cord acting as a necklace, and a dark orange mini skirt.

"Naruto Uzumaki follow me!" Naruto, who was torn between following her and running from her, was frozen with again wide eyes. Iruka on the other hand looked sheepish and scared.

"Anko-san. You're a little early. You weren't suppose to come in after lunch. Heheh." Anko, who again had trouble with the correct time but was not late unlike a certain Jōnin, blushed and rubbed the back of her head while looking sheepish.

"Sorry I'll just take my student and leave, then. Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto looked at her and nodded his head. "Let's go. We're going to go get dango and you're paying." Iruka giving Naruto a warning, which Naruto decided to take advantage of the warning, nodded his head.

"Yes Anko sensei!" And with that they left. Although a certain raven haired Uchiha, was seething at not getting an apprenticeship.

At the dango shop Anko and Naruto was talking. "Okay gaki, here's the thing, there is another test I have to give you so we are going to meet up at training grounds 44 and take your test there. Although before we do that we should get to know each other. I'll go first. My name is Anko Mitarashi. I like dango, no I love dango, snakes, the T&I, Kurenai-chan, Yugao-chan, Hana-chan, Mikoto-chan, and sake. I hate bias people, a hebi-teme, the civilian villagers, and annoying gakis. My hobbies, are training, torturing people, drinking, and eating dango. Your turn." She grinned at Naruto, who got shivers running up and down his back.

"Okay, my name is Naruto Uzumaki. I like ramen, training, nii-san and Miko-kaa-san, Kurama, and my birth parents. I dislike people who doesn't know the difference between a scroll and a Kunai, traitors, and people who hate foxes, oh and a Uchiha who I don't know his name. My hobbies are, training, making or learning new jutsus, pranking, and reading."

"Okay then, well see ya tomorrow gaki." Then she shunshined away leaving Naruto to pay the bill for 50 sticks of dango.

"EEEEEEEEHHHHH!" Everyone who heard that knew it was because of a bill for Anko's dango or Naruto's ramen. They felt a sorry for them.

YOSH! Another chapter up.
Posted a poll for who Naruto should be paired with. I am going to take those polls down before the Naruto Shippuden era so yeah.
I have been extremely lazy recently with a new TV and all. Don't expect a chapter to come out next week.
See ya, review please and vote. Oh and um, I am going to be posting pictures for some stuff for this story. BYE!