Chapter #3: The Term 'Bastard' Encompasses A Lot More Than Just the Sith

I have no idea what it was Zelka stuck me with, but it worked. I was unconscious before I could object. Upon further reflection, I don't believe that what he did was ethical in any sense of the word…and I didn't trust that Zelka one fraction. Oh, sure, Carth was there, but I hardly knew him. And that Gurney fellow looked like a molester if I've ever seen one…and trust me, I have. And I thought that things couldn't possibly get any worse than they were…

Memo to self: never say that things can't get worse. They will. Murphey's Law.

When I woke up, I was back in the dumpy little apartment. Looking around, I almost wished that I was so dizzy I couldn't discern shapes again.

Then it hit me: I felt fine. My head was fine, I could see as clear as ever, and I was so hungry my stomach felt like it was devouring itself.

" Foooooood…"

" Yeah, I kinda figured you'd be hungry." Carth was sitting at a table across the room, looking casually looking over a datapad. " There's some food in the fridge."

I got out of bed and pitifully dragged my lazy ass over to the small fridge, flinging the door open.

" Hey- be careful! You're gonna rip the door off it's hinges if you keep doing that."

I shot Carth an annoyed glance. " Nothing I couldn't fix…and what the hell IS this!" I had pulled out a container filled with…something like you'd scrape off your boot. I looked over at Carth who just shrugged, his eyes still glued to the datapad.

" Dunno. Some fast food crap."

" Mmm…I've suddenly lost my appetite…" I replace the container and closed the fridge door. My stomach let out a loud growl of protest. " No! There's no way in hell I'm going to even consider ramming that…crap down my gullet, so you can just shut up!"

Carth furrowed his brows as he looked up at me. "…I didn't say anything!"

I shook my head apologetically. " No, not you! I was…just…" I thought of what the implications might have been if I had told him I was talking to my stomach. I imagined that I'd have to walk around with a big 'RETARDED' stamp in the middle of my forehead, and wear a hospital gown with no back around. "….nevermind…wait…YES!"

Carth jumped a little at my outburst and almost fell out of his chair as I jumped over to where my bag was lying at the foot of my bed. I pulled it open violently, almost breaking the zipper, and began to throw stuff out of it.

" What are you doing!" Carth dodged a grenade I had unwittingly thrown, and I smiled at him apologetically.

" Oops. Didn't mean to throw that." I kept hurling junk out of my sack until my hand finally fell upon my target. " FINALLY!" I pulled out the five energy bars I had hoarded from the Endar Spire and smiled widely. I began ripping one open, the others falling into my lap. I threw the wrapper over my shoulder and rammed the whole bar into my mouth. I held one up, offering it to Carth, who just stared at me with a shocked look on his face. I threw him the best sarcastic scowl I could manage with my mouth completely full before hurling the bar at him. Bastard.

The bar tasted a bit like sawdust, and had about the consistency of soft toffee (which made it VERY hard to chew vast quantities of at one time, thank you very much), but it was better than whatever the hell it was in the fridge. I sat there for a good twenty minutes, just trying to chew the damn bar. I felt like I had accomplished something major when I managed to swallow the stupid thing, and I smiled widely to myself. I looked over at Carth, who had fetched the bar I threw at him and was chewing at it, a displeased look on his face. I cocked an eyebrow, allowing a condescending look to cross my face.

" What, you don't want to eat the food in the fridge, Onasi?" He stopped trying to chew the bar and gave me a scared look. " What, is there something wrong with it?" He swallowed hard as I got up and grabbed the 'food' from the fridge, throwing it onto the table in front of him. He slowly put the bar down, staring at the strange container on the table.

" Suddenly, I'm not so hungry anymore…" He began to get up, and I put a hand on his shoulder to push him back into his seat.

" Oh, don't leave now. I'd really like to know what this is…maybe you'll be able to tell." I paused for a moment, just to cause Carth some discomfort. "…after you taste it, that is."

Carth threw up his arms in defeat. " Alright! I admit it: I don't know what the hell it is! It was in that fridge since we got here!" That little tidbit of information made my stomach turn over. I gave him a sharp smack to the back of the head.

" And you were going to let me eat that? You…you Hutt slug!"

" Hey! I never would have said anything about it if I thought you were actually going to eat it!" Carth shot back, rubbing the back of his head ruefully.

This was one of the rare times where I was actually speechless. I didn't know whether I should hit him for being such a creep, or to leave him alone for giving me enough credit to not eat unknown food-like objects. I chose the former, and whacked him on the back of the head again.

" OW! You can stop that now!"

" And why should I do that? You're the one who thought I'd be funny to see if I'd eat…that!" I poked the container with my finger and flinched as it sighed. "Oh my god, it just made a sound! And you thought it'd be FUNNY to see if I'd eat that!" I poked him hard in the chest and scowled. He shrunk away from me a bit.

" Hey, settle down! You didn't eat it, did you?"

" NOT EVEN A GIZKA WOULD BE STUPID ENOUGH TO EAT THAT!" I backhanded the thing off the table and watched as it splattered all over the front door. I couldn't help but feel a small degree of satisfaction. The rest came as a horrible idea in my head, and I felt an evil smile curl its way around my lips. I looked down at Carth, who looked as though he'd be glad if the Sith burst in and shot him…or me. " All can be forgiven, though…"

He shot me a suspicious glare. " What's the catch?"

My smile grew wider as his sight followed mine. He blanched.

" What's the matter, Carth? You look a bit pale." A sadistic smile planted itself on my face at his reaction. " It's just food, after all. Isn't it?" We both watched as the slop oozed down the door, burbling a bit as it followed the pull of gravity, leaving a rather unpleasant looking green trail of slime behind it. I watched as he slowly shook his head. " Karma, my friend." I patted his shoulder affectionately before returning to the task of devouring the disgusting Republic energy bars, but not before throwing him a sponge. " Sorry, there's no gloves."

It would seem that we all have our inner bastards.