Episode Three: Blue Moon Breakfast

Jane sat in the Dirty Robber nursing her beer. She was glad that the case was over. But, she was happier that she and Maura were actually talking to each other again. She took another drink, and realized that she had never been mad at Maura to begin with. She was mad at Agent Dean and Paddy Doyle, but more at the situation. It was a lose-lose situation no matter how Jane looked at it.

She took another swing of her beer as she looked across at the empty seat of the booth. She let out of huff. She couldn't believe that it had been three days since she'd had to cut Maura's leg open to save her. She was just glad that Korsak showed when he did. She took another drink. She didn't want to think about it. She shook her head, wondering how they kept getting into scrapes like that. First, Hoyt. Then, Maura's father, Paddy Doyle. And, now this. It was beginning to be too much.

She finished the beer and nodded at the barkeep. He nodded back and she knew that another beer would be on its way to her soon. She looked at booth back again. Neither one of them would back down. They had a passion for their work, wounds and situations be damned. She reached out to take the new, cold beer from the waitress before it hit the table. She took a sip, still boring holes into the seat back.

Silently, she decided that she wouldn't take Maura into the field with her anymore. It was too dangerous. She would make sure that some other tech went out. She didn't want to risk Maura's life. There were too many things that she good at. She could…. She knew that she had to stop that train of thought. It wouldn't do anyone any good. Plus, she knew that Maura would just go behind her back to scenes. She'd already proven that when she went back to the arson scene without proper backup. She took another drink, looking at the empty booth.

Jane couldn't figure out why she was so damn upset about this. They had been in scrapes before. They'd been shot at. Why was this so different? Jane couldn't put her finger on it. Then, she remembered being in the infirmary with her when Hoyt attacked them. She shook her head. She took another sip, still staring at the empty booth. Then, it hit her. It was the blood.

She was shaken up by the attack from Hoyt. She was injured and fighting her own boogey man. Sure she'd processed that Maura had been attacked, too, but it was different. Jane snapped. She attacked both men because they hurt Maura. This time, she didn't a chance. She'd been handcuffed and put in her vehicle, left to die, and Maura was really hurt. She couldn't focus on the bad guy because she was too busy trying to figure out how they were going to get out.

"Hey, Jane, it's almost closing time," the barkeep called out to her.

She smiled and lifted one finger. He understood the gesture, one last beer for the road. She knew that she wasn't driving home tonight. Once the beer was on the way, she made another gesture. He smiled and called her a cab. She was glad that Frost had dropped her off. It had been so she would have time to think. Instead, she'd been staring at the empty seat across from her for hours as the "what ifs" flowed through her brain horribly.

"Hey, Jane, cab's here," the keep told her.

She nodded at him. She grabbed her beer, that last one of the night that she'd been nursing, and downed it in one go. She got up from the booth, bottle still in hand, and headed towards the door. She handed the empty bottle the keep just as she passed the end of the bar. She gave him a quick two fingered salute as she stepped out into the night.

She poured herself into the cab. When the cabbie asked for an address, she gave one without thought. She wasn't really paying attention to where she was going until the cab pulled up in front of Maura's house. She looked at the small mansion and shook her head. She walked around the side.

She knew that she had a key to get inside. Maura had given it to her ages ago, but tonight was not the night to use the key. She made her way around the side of the main building to the small courtyard that separated the main house from the garage. She knew that her mother was upstairs, above the garage, in the small garage apartment. She hated herself in that moment, but she really didn't have a choice. She was already there, had no vehicle, and she wasn't sure that her mother wouldn't kill her in the morning if she found out that she'd been there and hadn't come up.

She made her way up the stairs to the apartment. She knocked on the door. She looked at her watch and cursed under her breath. It was later than she thought. She knew that this was a really bad idea, but she knocked again.

Her mother opened the door. Angela took one look at Jane and pulled her into the apartment. There were no words said. There was no need and Jane knew it. She knew that her mother could smell the alcohol on her. She'd seen her mother clean her father up too many times in high school and now, here she was, making her mother do the same for her. She felt like an ass.

"Ma…"

"Not tonight, Jane," Angela told her as she made up the couch.

"Ma…I'm sorry…"

"Janie, just get some sleep. If you want to talk, we'll talk in the morning. I'll be making pancakes in Maura's kitchen at seven. I'll wake you up. Don't get sick on my rug."

Jane felt her head hit the couch cushion. She closed her eyes and willed the hangover not to come in the morning. She stared at the ceiling hoping that she was wrong about the whole ordeal and her mother wasn't that upset with her. Her last thoughts were of her mother, Maura and breakfast. She will herself to survive long enough to see it through. She hoped that she was somewhat coherent in the morning, because she didn't want to see the disappointment in either of their eyes over the breakfast table.

The early morning light came through the sheers that her mother had hung on the few windows in the apartment. Jane sat up and looked over at the coffee table. It was barely seven fifteen. She damned her internal clock. She looked down at the glass of water and two pills. She grabbed them without any thought and took them, drowning them with the water as she gulped it down. She stood up and was thankful that room wasn't spinning.

She grabbed her shoes and put them back on. She knew she looked like shit, but she knew that if she didn't make appearance at the breakfast table, her mother would inform Maura of her late night. She didn't want that and she didn't know why, but she didn't. She ran into her mother's room and grabbed a solid colored shirt. She put it on, grabbed her jacket, and headed down to the kitchen to have breakfast.

When she came in the back door, she noticed that Maura still wasn't down. She looked around the kitchen. Her mother was really going all out. She knew it was because she was worried about Maura. It was her way of trying to make Maura feel better. Jane smiled because she was glad that Maura had her mom and that her mom had Maura.

She shook her head as Angela came up beside her. Angela took her jacket off her and draped it over the back of one of the dining room chairs. When she came back into the kitchen, she handed Jane another glass of water. She drank it quickly and without a word. Angela shook her head at her daughter as she walked down the length of the counter. She picked up a dish and made her way back to Jane. She handed her a spoon and bowl. Jane absentmindedly stirred the contents without looking down into the bowl.

"I'm sorry, Ma…"

"Janie…"

"I didn't realize what I'd done until I was out front."

"You didn't try to wake Maura?" Angela asked her.

"No, Ma, I came right around to the apartment."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know. I guess I want you to be mad. I want some sort of punishment or something."

"You aren't in high school anymore, Jane. You're an adult. You had a few drinks and you decided to see your family in that condition instead of going home to wallow in your thoughts."

"Yeah, something like that," Jane replied.

"I know. Talk to her, Jane. You've forgiven each other because of the stuff with her father. I don't know what has you both upset now, but you need to talk about it. You can't keep getting drunk and hiding from each other. It isn't going to help and your work is going to suffer."

"Yes, ma'am," Jane replied handing her mother back the bowl and getting another glass of water.

"And, you better go to confession this week," Angela added.

"Okay, Ma, I will."

"Good," her mother replied as she started pouring the batter into the skillet.

Neither of them heard Maura come down from her room and join them in kitchen. They were too busy with the making of breakfast to realize that someone else was in the room. When Jane went to the sink for another glass of water, she finally saw Maura out of the corner of her eye.

"Maura!"

"Good morning, Jane," she replied.

"Good morning."

"Is there a new case?" Maura asked as she took in Jane's attire.

"No, just paperwork," Jane stated, knowing that it was stretch but not a lie.

"Oh," Maura stated as she hobbled over to the counter.

"You don't want to sit at the table?" Angela asked her.

"No, I think that I can sit here and be just as comfortable. Plus this way, no one has to move the plates so many times. I only like to use the table for formal affairs. Breakfast with friends isn't so formal, is it?" Maura questioned.

"No, Maura, it isn't," Angela stated handing her a glass of orange juice.

Jane stood at the end of the counter watching the scene before her. She wasn't sure what she was she was supposed to do. Her head didn't hurt, but she wasn't sure that she didn't smell. She didn't want to be so close to Maura. She didn't want her to know that she had tried to drown her thoughts the night before.

"Are you going to sit down, Jane?" Maura inquired while Jane was lost in her thoughts.

"In a minute," she told her as she got herself a glass of OJ and passed behind her mother, putting space between them as she rounded the other end of the counter.

She sat down with little fanfare. Her eyes met those of her mother, but she still said nothing. Maura turned to look at her. There was worry in her eyes. But, neither Angela nor Maura said anything about Jane's behavior.

Angela's phone rang breaking the silence. She answered it quickly, pointing at Jane and then skillet. Jane immediately got up and took over cooking. She kept her eyes on the stove and the batter. Maura could tell that something was bothering her and Jane knew it. She never acted like this with her.

"Jane?"

"Yeah," she replied still not looking up.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just thinking about the case. And, wondering how much more paperwork I am going to have to fill out because of the car. It was a total loss. The department is going to want a full statement as to how we ended up in the car, in the river behind the dam, and why we were even there to begin with. I am sure that Korsak or Frost will be by to take your statement as well."

"Frost already did while I was in the hospital."

"I didn't know," Jane stated.

"He didn't tell you."

"He can't. Well, not that…we were witnesses to a crime. They have to make sure that we keep our statements separate. I can't know what you said because then I might alter my statement. It is another reason that I can't take your statement," Jane told her as she finished up the pancakes.

She served up the breakfast that Angela started on a plate for Maura and handed it to her. She made another plate for herself and then another for her mother. She then started to slightly clean the stove top. When she was happy with the little bit she did, she walked back around the counter to the seat she'd taken up earlier and sat back down with her plate. She dug in hoping that her stomach wouldn't revolt at the introduction of food.

"Jane…"

"Ya?" she asked with a mouthful of food, still not looking at her.

"I never did thank you fully for doing what you did," Maura stated.

"Don't worry about it."

"But, Jane…"

"Seriously, don't talk about it. It's fine. You're okay. You're mending. You'll be back in the office by the end of the week, I am sure," Jane told her, finally turning to look up at her. "You should eat while it's hot. It won't be good once it's cold."

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened," Jane answered as she stood up with her almost empty plate.

Maura turned on the stool and reached out for Jane, stopping her movements. Their eyes warred. She knew that Maura was looking for an angle in which to get Jane to talk, but she was completely closed off. She had to be. She couldn't think about them being in that car and Maura bleeding. She closed her eyes and willed the thoughts away.

She couldn't stop the small whimper that escaped. She closed her eyes tighter as Maura took the plate from her hands. She heard the plate hit the counter top with a gentle clang. She knew that Maura wasn't going to let it go or her go, now that she had her.

"Jane…"

Suddenly a large boom of thunder crashed outside. Jane's eyes widened. Maura could see her dark brown orbs swimming with unshed tears. When Jane finally met her eyes, the tears spilled over just as the rain started pouring outside. Maura just pulled her closer.

Angela walked back in to tell them that she had to go help Tommy deal with her parole officer when she saw them. She gave them a quiet smile as she hoped that they would talk now. She grabbed her purse of the back counter and silently left the house, cursing her luck that it was raining buckets and buckets. She'd helped her daughter, but for now her son needed her.