Tobi froze halfway inside his portal, and halfway out. Decisively, he retreated back into his secret haven and removed his mask once more.

What was that? Tobi frowned. He did not like being caught off guard. That scream; judging by how soft yet urgent it sounded, the person or whatever had screamed was pretty far away. Does it have something to do with that atmosphere disturbance earlier?

Tobi weakened the door to his world just enough so that he could see what was happening outside of his sanctuary, but not too much that people in the outside world could see what was happening where he was. He peered out.

Deidara seemed to have gone ahead of him, expecting to find him on the path somewhere. He'd left no indication that they'd been at the dango shop; he'd blown the little store up. Tobi nodded approvingly. The bomb that Deidara had used was just subtle enough to make outsiders think that the small restaurant had burnt down from some freak accident. The old lady that had served them lay face down on the ground a few feet away from the remains of her home and work place. She smelled of burnt flesh.

I must have been inside my dimension for some time now, Tobi thought. The damage that Deidara's done seems to have been dealt at least fifteen minutes ago. The wood's not on fire anymore and nothing seems to be smoldering. How far can Deidara travel in fifteen minutes?

A long way, that Tobi knew of. Even if Deidara dawdled or walked half the pace he usually did, he'd still be able to cover at least three quarters of a kilometer. Would that have been far enough for him not to hear the scream? Tobi hoped so. He didn't want Deidara to go blowing however screamed up immediately. The Akatsuki might be able to use said person as an infiltration

Tobi gently stretched the fabric of his dimension's reality, replaced his mask, and stepped out, back into the world he'd been born to; the world he was about to take hold of.

Trudging through the underbrush, Tobi glanced around warily through his mask's eye hole. There didn't seem to be anything wrong. This far in, he'd been able to guess the screamer's location from the repeated shrieks that pierced the air.

On a hunch, he took a sharp left, and froze.

In the clearing, an adolescent girl was clutching her head, breathing hard. Half slung over her shoulder was a pack in the shape of a strange animal. Long, tight blue pants clung to her legs seemingly uncomfortably, and she wore neon green jacket like thing that Tobi had never seen before. She had bright blonde hair, almost like Deidara's, except paler, and her face was flushed red. Her eyes were puffy around the edges as if she'd been crying. They flashed an electric blue. Tobi squinted. That's strange; did they turn green just now?

Tobi drew back a few steps, contemplating his next moves. The girl was scrawny, Tobi thought, and what meat she did have on her arms and the other visible parts of her body were loose. That means she isn't a ninja, and probably can't fight worth anything. No muscle. But what if a village decided to take one of its inhabitants and plop her in the middle of a forest to draw out unfortunate passers for hidden motives? That could very well be a possibility… However, the village in that scenario would have to be a new one or one that had lived in complete secrecy. I've never seen a girl wear her types of clothes.

Tobi's black eyebrows traveled farther and farther down his forehead. There was something unusual about this girl, something that he was overlooking.

Then it hit him. He hadn't been able to sense her presence. He still couldn't feel her chakra. Tobi activated his Sharingan, and scrutinized her.

Nothing.

The Sharingan of his visible eye narrowed as Tobi pondered what this might mean. Perhaps she was a undercover spy that has a special kekkei genkei that could mask her chakra? But the Sharingan; the Sharingan should be able to see through almost everything, including kekkei genkei.

Tobi slowly opened his kunai pouch and pulled one out. I'll have to see who this person is… The messy way.

I curled myself up in a ball after I'd finished screaming, my chest heaving up and down erratically. I felt my breathing quicken; what was happening to me?

Tears streamed down my cheeks, but I didn't have the strength to wipe them away. They flooded my vision, casting the world in a blurry mess. I sobbed.

My memories of what had happened before I had fainted had come back to me in flashes as I'd screamed my throat sore for help. The curling white mist. The beautiful waterfall. My art project. The ravine behind my backyard.

My mom's smile as she called, "Come back soon in time for dinner!"

I tried to scream again, but it came out as a croak.

What am I gonna do? This isn't my ravine; the trees, the underbrush – they don't belong and can't grow where I live. So where the hell am I? I need to call for help; fat lot of good that's done me. Where is civilization? Where're the police for god's –

A hand grabbed my hair and yanked my upright into a kneeling position. I croaked another time, in response.

"Anata dare? Anata wa dono mura karadeari, anata no dōki wa nanidesu ka? O oshie, matawa kore wa anata no dōmyaku o migi ni iki," the person who was holding me upright and wrenching my hair pressed something cold and metallic against my vulnerable neck, "watashi wa anata o gōmon shite iru toki ni shukketsu shite shibō surudeshou."

I gasped. I choked. I struggled weakly.

The person chuckled.

"Watashi no shitsumon'nikotaeru made, watashi wa anata o ataerudarou."

"L-let go of m-me." My voice trembled and cracked. I cursed in my mind. I turned my head as much as I dared to when there was a sharp pointy thing at my throat and took a look at my captor. The person wore an orange mask with one eye hole. I peered inside the eye hole, and found slowly swirling pinwheels.

I felt something probing my mind, intruding my thoughts. I tried to turn away, but found I couldn't, found I was captivated.

Just as the obtrusive tentacle of thought gleaned the surface of my conscience, a wall slammed down of my subconscious's own accord, and the person holding me jerked back violently away from me.

"Anata… dare?"

I tried to turn my head to look directly at him, instead of staring from the corner of my eye, but the sharp pointy thing he held at my neck kept me from doing much. "Who… are you?"

My body couldn't take anymore. I slumped on to the grass. The grip on my hair and the arm that had been half supporting me up let me fall.

I fell face first into sleep and made a V.I.P. entrance back into La-La Land.

Tobi silently glared at the fainted figure in front of him. It dozed on without noticing.

How could she have blocked me out of her thoughts? Tobi raged. That jutsu I used with my Sharingan was perfect; nothing could hold it back, much less completely over power it!

The girl had seemed harmless enough. When Tobi had pulled her upright, she hadn't resisted a single bit. Tobi'd go as far as to say that she was limp in his arms. And when Tobi'd questioned then threatened her – who are you, which village are you from, what are you motives, the normal – , she had seemed wary and scared; her body language had told him that much. The strange thing was, she hadn't seemed to understand him, and the little things that she had said didn't make much sense; gibberish.

Tobi checked her pulse. It jumped at a steady beat; a beat that told him she was knocked out. She might be useful…

Tobi was about to pick her up on to his shoulder and carry her back to Deidara, claiming something ridiculous and fabricating some dumb reason about why they should keep the girl around, if just for one night until Deidara saw fit. Tobi knew Deidara would say yes in the end, after a lot of annoying and pestering on his part.

Tobi was about to do exactly that; until he saw her pack again, hanging droopily on the girl's right arm. Reaching down, he opened the pack and rummaged through the contents.

An apple core in a plastic baggie.

A camera.

A sketch pad and a purse full of art supplies.

A tightly closed circular object.

A note book.

And – Tobi had the decency to blush while pulling this out – feminine hygiene products.

Tobi grumbled and shoved everything he'd dumped on to the forest ground back into the girl's pack. There was nothing that seemed suspicious – the girl didn't even have the mandatory undercover ninja bingo book, which crosses her off the list of being some spy or ANBU. Everything she carried was normal.

Normal irked Tobi extremely.

Tobi sat back on his haunches, considering whether or not to take the girl. No matter how harmless she looked, there was always the slight chance that she could be of harm to the Akatsuki; not that Tobi was extremely concerned about that problem. If it came down to it, one of the members could always dispose of her, or Tobi could do so himself.

However, be that as it may, Tobi still felt unsettled, and his gut warned him that he'd be making a grave mistake by taking this frail, harmless girl into his hospitality.

Tobi shoved the thought away and swung the girl on to his shoulder. He'd make up a story for Deidara, and if by tomorrow, the girl still wouldn't speak of her origins, than Tobi'd have to allow Deidara to have his way with her, as he'd be so anxious to. Tobi had always wondered what a girl's guts looked like when they were blown out from its host's body.

Leaping through the trees and scanning the ground for any sign of a blonde bomber, Tobi had one last disturbing thought.

The girl's eyes had flashed an angry green the second before she'd broken out of his Sharingan.

In that second, with his eye, he'd seen an absolutely furious and chilling face staring back at him. It had mouthed, if Tobi remembered correctly, You are dead.

Tobi shrugged the thought off and continued searching for his 'Senpai'.

Hey there~~ I don't own dear Tobi or Deidara~~

I'm really bored right now~~~

Thanks to: Sukki18, SilverMoonKitty, and phoenixyfriend, for reviewing last chap!

Thanks to: SilverMoonKitty and Sukki18 for the new favorites!

Thanks to: daydreamer1008 for the new alert!

Thanks to: everybody else!

Special thanks to phoenixyfriend for giving me some pointers on my writing! I'll get around to fixing that stuff right after I wake up enough to start writing properly! And stop procrastinating!

I can't believe I actually got this up in a week…

AND. PHOENIXYFRIEND GUESSED THE MEANING OF LAST CHAPTER'S NAME. SERAMTHGIN IS NIGHTMARES BACKWARDS.

Sending vodka and sunflowers,

Ami