Notes: Beta done by Gracie_Musica (and for the rest of this fic, unless otherwise noted). Also lots of hugs and thanks to cjharknessgirl and thraceadams for allowing me to bounce ideas off them.
He fought against the shaking that threatened to take him from his sleep, wanting to hold onto his dream for as long as he could. He'd had dreams before of being with Ianto, and it was hard to wake up from them and face the harsh reality that his lover was gone. This dream had been different than the others and he knew if he opened his eyes to feel it fade away, it would break him all over again. So he resisted with all his might to cling onto the dream that he was with a very alive Ianto Jones.
"No!" he cried out, trying to twist away from the shaking, but he knew it was a losing battle. His heart began to break as he started to awake from his sleep. He opened his eyes, about to curse out whoever had the nerve to take him away from a place where he had Ianto back. As his eyes opened, he realized just who was there and he drank in the beautiful vision of Ianto Jones standing before him. Realizing that it was not a dream after all, he smiled up at the Welshman, who studied him in concern. "Hi," he simply said.
Ianto returned the smile. "I promise if you move now, that there's a place more comfortable than that chair."
Jack started to frown slightly. The last thing he remembered was drinking the coffee Ianto had made them, finding it silly to rejoice in something so menial as tasting Ianto's coffee again. "You didn't try to Retcon me, did you?" he asked, wondering how he ended up falling asleep right after drinking the caffeinated beverage.
"I wish I could Retcon certain things for us both, but that's not the answer, I'm afraid," Ianto replied sadly. "But I did slip a tranquilizer in yours. You looked like you needed the sleep, so I made sure you did it."
"You also wanted to keep from talking too much before it's time, didn't you?" Jack accused, feeling a spark of anger.
Ianto looked guilty. "There's not much to do in a small ship like this than talk."
"Oh, I could have thought of a few things," Jack quipped. "Should I be concerned that you didn't?"
Ianto placed his hand on Jack's face. "I could too, but not this time. After so long, I don't want us to just have a quick tumble on this ship." He smiled softly. "I would rather it be something special."
"Ianto, after the last six months, anything I do with you, no matter where, is going to be special to me."
"I'm glad of that, and I'll have to agree. But still, I want things to be… I don't know." He looked away, blushing slightly.
"I know," Jack assured him gently. "You're right. I'd like that too." He stood up and stretched quickly, only to draw Ianto into his arms and kissed him. "I love you," he said when he pulled away.
Ianto's smile was so warm and sunny Jack could not help but return it with one of his own. "Love you too," Ianto sighed happily. "Now get moving. I don't know about you, but I'm famished. It's been a long day."
Jack nodded and allowed Ianto to lead him off the ship. He realized Ianto had been doing that since they had been reunited, and he found he enjoyed it and had no intention for it to change in the near future. It seemed to help his broken soul finally start to heal.
He did notice that Ianto carried three travel bags and decided it was unfair to let his lover do all the work. He held out a hand as they left the ship. "Let me take something," he offered.
Ianto handed over a black bag. "This one is yours anyway. Change of clothes, toiletries and a few other items to start with."
Jack looked at Ianto, seeing he had one of the bags slung over his shoulder by the strap, and the second in his hand. The second one looked like a garment bag and Jack could not stop smiling of the thought that the bag most likely had at least one more suit for Ianto. Jack took Ianto's free hand in his as they walked across the parking zone for various small space craft.
Ianto pointed to the edge of the brilliantly sparking city. "We have a cottage for the night there." Ianto juggled the garment bag to lift his left arm and fiddle with his wrist strap. "Which has just begun. We just missed the sunset, but it's before the moonsrise." He took Jack's hand in his. "We have all night to ourselves. Let's face our demons tomorrow."
Jack squeezed the hand in his, familiar and warm and gave a small smile. "I like that idea," he admitted.
It was not a far walk, so Ianto decided to not hire transport. They walked in silence, both men reveling in the simplicity of just being together again.
The cottage was not posh, but very nice and tastefully decorated to make it feel warm and cozy and somewhat rustic. It sat on the edge of a large lake. The first thing Ianto did was order food and drinks for them, and then ushered Jack into the shower.
They shared the shower, but only to clean the other and reaffirm the familiarity of touch and being together. They shared kisses and glances. For a short time, Jack's eyes were almost as Ianto remembered them from before Ianto was forced to leave Jack, allowing his lover to believe he had died.
Ianto wrapped a large fluffy towel around Jack as they stepped out of the shower and allowed Jack to do the same to him, closing in to share another kiss.
Jack pulled Ianto close, Ianto's furry chest pressed against Jack's smooth one. Jack sighed contentedly. "I love you," he whispered reverently.
Ianto smiled and moved his head for another kiss. "I know, Jack," he assured his lover.
"Thank you," Jack said. "Thank you for saving me. I honestly had no idea how I was supposed to go on without you."
"I'm here now, Jack," Ianto softly said. He rested his head on Jack's shoulder. He was scared for Jack, knowing that one day, even if decades from then, he was going to have to leave Jack and the immortal man would have to learn how to deal with it and face eternity without him.
That was then and not the present, Ianto decided. He was also certain that he would not be dying anytime soon, and that they had time to give Jack memories to last him for quite some time after Ianto was finally gone. He kissed Jack again. "Our dinner should be here soon."
Jack nodded but did not let go of Ianto at first.
When the food did arrive, both men were dressed in the robes provided by the resort the cottage was part of.
Ianto should have been surprised, but wasn't, when Jack decided to drink with Ianto. Ianto knew why Jack hardly drank during his years heading Torchwood; the Captain preferred to be clear-headed and ready for anything, putting himself on 24/7 alert duty, even when Ianto was able to get him away from the Hub for the night. That was in the past. Jack was no longer with Torchwood anymore and he admitted to Ianto that night that when he started to roam the Earth, he had started to drink again to drown his pain.
After dinner, they went to the bed chamber, where they made love slowly, exquisitely exploring and reaffirming the physical side of their relationship. They went two rounds before they drifted to sleep, holding each other.
A few hours later, Ianto woke up alone in the bed to find Jack sitting in the lounge, drinking again, tears falling from his eyes. Ianto could not get used to Jack looking so alone and empty. It hurt him, as if he could almost physically take on Jack's pain as his own. If he could figure a way, he would gladly, if it meant relieving Jack of the damage and trauma of the 456. He hated that part of the problem was his own faked death, making Jack believe he had died and letting him keep on believing it for another six months. Ianto could shoot the Doctor for that screw up, and he intended to have some words with the Time Lord over that.
Ianto silently sat next to Jack and held him as Jack fell apart in his arms. Jack did not say what he was crying over, but Ianto had a good idea. As he held Jack, he felt his own guilt consume him, torment him, yet he shouldered the weight of his burden. The tears that did fall were from the pain of seeing Jack so broken.
Jack ended up taking another shower and they got dressed, Jack in the clothes he had worn earlier while Ianto changed into jeans and a jumper. On the planet Ianto had taken them, the days were longer. There were still more hours left in the night, so they decided to take a walk on the resort's grounds. It was a warm night, so they left their outer wear behind.
Jack's mood improved again as they walked hand in hand, Jack gripping Ianto's hand tightly, as if he was afraid the younger man would disappear if he let go. They ended up sitting on a dock, watching the triple moons' reflections on the water and gazing up to the sky. Eventually they ended up sharing tales, Jack of his travels roaming the Earth, and Ianto told some of his adventures across the universe and time, while Ianto sat behind Jack, holding him close. Ianto felt Jack start to relax as the time went on. They would pause from talking at times to share loving kisses.
There was a familiar comfort between them, the type that only two people in a relationship with deep feelings could share, and yet still learning more, discovering there was still so much to learn.
They ended up making out on the dock and could not get back to the cottage fast enough, where they ended up making love in the lounge, before taking it to the bedroom.
The next day Ianto awoke to the alarm he sent on his wristband with a groan. He felt slightly hung over, but sometime long ago he had gotten used to it. It was mild comparing to other mornings. As he slowly stretched, the hangover seemed unimportant as he felt new pains. Aches that were welcomed. Aches that came from a night of robust sexual activity after not having it for too long. Over the years he had offers, but he had passed them up. Hell, even Hart tried to trip him up a few times, but with no success. He was holding out for one man, the only one he wanted to make love with, and so he had waited.
Too many nights alone in a bed, he would get himself off, lost in memories of what it had been like with Jack. It had to be enough until he was reunited with the man he loved, but the real thing was better than he remembered. He was glad, because for a short moment before the first time the night before, Ianto was afraid that during those years, he had built up times with Jack to something the real thing could not fulfill. Not that he would have loved Jack less for it, but there was a time back at the start when all they had was great sex – amazing sex. Ianto would feel guilty for cheating on Lisa. He never told her what he allowed to happen just so Jack would keep him on and it would explain reasons to be in the Hub in the middle of the night. If he had to be truthful with himself back then, it was more pleasurable than he was willing to admit when it was happening.
Now when he looked back at the time, he did not feel that guilt for shagging with Jack while Lisa was in the basement. His guilt was from the look of betrayal and hurt that flashed for a moment on Jack's face.
He should have been ashamed at how quickly after Lisa was killed that he found himself starting to fall for Jack – for the man who had killed whatever was left of the woman he had once planned to spend the rest of his life with. But he had long reconciled his feelings and had no remorse. There were different types of love. Ianto had also since accepted that the woman he loved had died that day in Canary Wharf.
With Jack, it was a different type of relationship. Despite the lies and cons, they had managed to build something that went beyond just shagging.
Which lead them to where they were now. Ianto could not live without Jack, and Jack apparently needed Ianto. There was also the recent time of separation. Jack's was shorter, but he also had believed Ianto was dead and gone. Only Jack Harkness came back from the dead, after all.
He turned to gaze at Jack, who was still sleeping. Ianto remembered a time when Jack would look at peace in his sleep. Looking at his lover's face that morning, Ianto saw the opposite.
He knew Jack had gotten up again during the long night and this time Ianto had allowed him his space, but had not fallen asleep again until Jack lay down on the other side of the extra wide bed, smelling like the whiskey that had been left. Ianto wanted to reach out and pull Jack to him, but did not dare to. So he allowed them to fall asleep with a big space between them.
There was still a gap, but not as big and judging from both their positions, they had both gravitated slightly toward the middle. Ianto reached across to touch a bare arm that rested on top of the sheet.
Jack started to stir, but instead of waking up, he rolled over and into Ianto's arms, cuddling in close. With his arms now securely holding Jack, Ianto could not help but smile as he watched Jack's face change. A dreamy smile came to the still sleeping man's face. Ianto's heart leapt because he had no reason to doubt he was the cause of the smile. He decided to let Jack sleep a little longer, and dozed off himself with Jack in his arms.
Breakfast was much like the night before. They savored each other's presence and engaged in small talk. Jack once again found himself taking Ianto's lead, and the subject of what had happened six months before did not come up. At least it was six months for Jack. He still had yet to find out how Ianto had ended up spending three years in the future and become a Time Agent.
Jack realized Ianto had a mobile phone when it rang. Ianto spoke in quiet but clipped tones before hanging up and announcing that the Doctor had arrived. Being that only Ianto knew where the Doctor was, Jack once again allowed Ianto to guide them. They walked hand in hand away from the resort to the outer limits of the city. As Jack glanced back, he saw that even in the sunlight, the city sparkled as brilliantly as at night.
Everything felt surreal to Jack as they continued to walk. Before he lost Ianto, he had started to entertain thoughts of one day being able to take his younger lover away with the Doctor, show him wonders of the Universe. The moment was finally upon him to travel with Ianto and the Doctor, but it was Ianto's contact with the Doctor that made it possible. Jack found himself clinging to Ianto's hand, staring at his lover as they walked, because he was still convincing himself that this was not a dream and Ianto was alive. It had only been the day before that Jack believed that his lover had died six months ago in Thames House.
They both noticed the TARDIS ahead of them. The Doctor was leaning against the blue police box with his arms folded, watching their approach.
As the two men came to a stop, the Doctor broke out into a wide grin.
Jack gave the Doctor a hesitant smile as Ianto started to frown. Jack took a step forward, while Ianto swept past him and the Doctor. Ianto entered the TARDIS while Jack and the Doctor embraced.
Ianto felt a slight flutter against his mind and he finally smiled. Stroking his hand reverently on the center panel, he softly said, "Hello, my lady." The TARDIS purred with approval. "I apologize in advance, but I do have to knock him in his place before we go any further. And you and I need to have a little talk about being six months off the target."
He heard a chuckle from the door, and turned to find Jack standing just inside with the Doctor behind him. Jack was obviously pleased to discover Ianto was able to communicate with the TARDIS. The Doctor, however, looked slightly uncomfortable. The Doctor's face was held in his neutral, friendly look, but his eyes were intensely studying Ianto.
Ianto felt a surge of satisfaction that the Doctor actually seemed hesitant to approach him. It was more than he was hoping for, being the Doctor was usually unruffled by whatever Ianto and Hart had dished out to him, even if most times it was unintentional.
The Doctor pushed past Jack and went over to Ianto. "About that six months," he started.
"You promised me, Doctor," Ianto insisted.
"I said as close as possible," the Doctor explained. "This is it."
"Six fuckin' months later is close? I was thinking something like, oh, I don't know. No more than a few days, a week at the most?" Ianto's eyes flashed. They had this argument before concerning Ianto being there with Jack the next day after the Thames House fiasco, but the more time he'd had since to think about it, the more it bothered Ianto. "Maybe even later that day? The next day? Why six months? I could have stopped Jack, you know. We could have found another way. While we're at it, why three years before you even contacted me? This is a time machine. So why take so long?" Ianto's eyes flared. "For a while there, I was starting to wonder if you'd decided to just strand me there. Like you did with Jack."
The Time Lord studied Ianto for a moment. "I couldn't, Ianto. Timelines and all that. Some things, no matter how terrible they may be, have to happen. The alternative would have been at too high a cost. But you know that already. I even gave you a chance to come up with something I didn't consider. I'm assuming you still haven't, even after all this time for you. Am I right?"
Jack let out a sound that came too close to a whimper. "You're talking about S-Stephen, aren't you?" he asked when Ianto and the Doctor both turned to him.
"I'm sorry, Jack," Ianto quickly started to apologize. "I wanted to go back and find another way. But since the Doctor so conveniently left me cooling my heels in the 50th century, he made sure Hart contacted you when he did." Ianto's eyes went to the Doctor. "So now we can't go back because we'll be crossing timelines. Am I right, Doctor?"
"There's a reason for everything," the Doctor started to explain patiently, as if speaking to a child.
"Oh, don't give me that tone!" Ianto barked out, quickly losing his patience with the Time Lord. He had ideas on what he would do to fix it for Jack, but the Doctor had taken it out of his control. "I already told you, Time Lord or not, you do not speak down to me. And don't you think of speaking down to Jack."
"May I point out, Mr. Jones, that with that Vortex Manipulator on your wrist, you could have come back anytime you wanted. So why wait for me?" the Doctor asked coolly.
"Because I trusted you," Ianto stated through clenched teeth. "Why I did that, I have no idea. Especially now."
"I might also point out that without my interference, you would be dead."
Ianto lost his fire as his gaze went directly to Jack. The immortal man looked stricken as he realized the two were arguing about what he had done to his grandson. Hearing the Doctor's comment about Ianto's untimely death only made Jack feel worse.
"I'm sorry, Ianto," the Doctor said. "You were supposed to die, but at the same time you still have much living to do. I had to make sure you saved yourself. You know what would have happened if you didn't die that day."
"But I didn't die!" Ianto insisted. "I faked it. Can we stop talking about it like I actually did the corpse thing and managed to come back?"
"You were dead," Jack's flat tone said. "You were. Even your color…." Jack shuddered at the memory of coming back to life to find Gwen staring mournfully down at Ianto.
"I don't do coming back to life, remember?" Ianto tried to point out. "And I don't jump up wheezing and gasping like you do."
"You did when Lisa killed you," Jack stated.
Both Ianto and the Doctor stared at Jack. "Well, she flung you across the Hub by your neck and you ended up face down at the base of the Rift manipulator. I don't know why I thought I could, but I had to try and it worked."
"So when I came to with your tongue rammed down my throat, that was you bringing me back to life?" Ianto asked.
"My tongue was not rammed down your throat."
"Stop it! Both of you!" the Doctor snapped. "I would say that the main point now is that Ianto is alive."
Jack gazed long and hard at Ianto, his eyes drinking in the sight of Ianto alive. Ianto on his feet and breathing, warm and his face slightly flushed from annoyance. "How?" he asked barely above a whisper.
Ianto turned to Jack and upon seeing the look on his lover's face, immediately moved to pull Jack into his arms. Jack's eyes reflected six months of pain and grief. He looked as if he was afraid Ianto would disappear in a second only to have been dead for those long months. "It's okay, Jack. I'm here," he softly soothed the distraught man in his arms. Jack started to shake slightly in Ianto's arms as he buried his face in Ianto's shoulder. Ianto kissed Jack's head. "Shhh."
"I'm sorry," came Jack's muffled apology for losing grip on his emotions.
"Don't be," Ianto assured him. Gently, he pried Jack's head away from his shoulder enough to softly kiss the older man. He felt Jack yield to the kiss, sighing softly as his hold on Ianto tightened, but not in the desperate way of seconds before. Jack was merely holding onto the man he loved for all he was worth. "I'm sorry too, Jack. I honestly did believe I'd show up sooner." Though he was tempted, Ianto resisted the urge to take his attention from Jack to glare at the Time Lord who stood feet away. Instead he kissed his immortal lover until the shaking stopped.
It broke Ianto's heart to once again see the man he knew to be so confident, so vibrant, appear so broken. Silently, Ianto swore at the third man who stood a few feet away from them.
The man who studied the two intensely, sadness reflected in his eyes. He did not have to always like what had to be done, but he found comfort in knowing what he was able to do would eventually fix Jack, and bring back the impossibly obnoxious and aggravating man he had once been. Of course, that was only one side of Jack's personality. There was so much that made up Captain Jack Harkness, but it all added up to someone who would do anything to defend those in need. The fact that he sacrificed his own grandson to save the children of the planet lent testament to that fact.
The Doctor wished there was another way to stop the 456, a way that would not disrupt timelines in the overall scheme. Had it been a hundred years later, they might have been able to do more. Had it been a segregated population of the Earth, he would have had more options. The fact that it took less than a year for the majority of the Earth to forget about the planet being moved from the solar system, and subsequently returned by way of towing by the TARDIS with assistance Torchwood, only told the Doctor that the people of Earth as a majority were not yet ready to admit such possibilities. He did the most he was able to do without upsetting the fragile flow of time.
"I did what I was able to do," the Time Lord finally said, but his tone held no apology. It was just a statement of fact.
Ianto finally turned from Jack to face the Time Lord. "Why me, Doctor? Why save me instead of an innocent child?"
"Because sacrificing you would have done nothing to destroy the 456," came the quiet response, not from the Doctor, but from Jack. "We needed a child. And…Stephen was the only one available."
The Doctor turned sympathetic eyes on Jack. "Jack, I am sorry for your loss. But it was a necessary evil."
"One that you condone," Ianto snorted. "Bloody wonderful. You treat Jack like a freak because of what YOUR ship made him, you condemn Torchwood and Jack because of our use of weapons, and yet you use Jack to fight your battles when you need firepower and allow him to kill a child – and not just any child, but his own bloody flesh and blood. How are you right?"
"Ianto," Jack broke in before the Doctor could reply, pulling Ianto into his arms. He tenderly kissed Ianto's forehead. "Thank you. For everything, including standing up for me. But the Doctor's right. Stephen was our only hope. One child to save so many other children, including your own nephew and niece."
Ianto opened his mouth, started to tell Jack of what he had planned had he the chance to go back to that day, but no words came out. He stared into Jack's eyes. Yes, to others, especially to Alice – Jack's daughter, Jack came across as a monster. When it came to getting the job done, he was ruthless. Sometimes doing the right thing meant to be ruthless too. Ianto had his own plan of ruthless, but looking at Jack, he knew that the immortal man would never accept his solution.
He sighed heavily and rested his forehead against Jack's. "You were the better man than the rest of them," he said quietly. "Including me."
Jack seemed to know what Ianto had been thinking and held him tight. "There's nothing we could do to change it without making a mess out of the timelines, so it's a moot point. I'll never forget my grandson. But I have you back. I won't forget Stephen and I'll always grieve what I had to do to him, but it'll get better now. I'll one day be able to live with what I had done." He gave Ianto a small but warm smile. "Because I'm no longer alone."
Ianto returned the smile. "No. You're not, Jack."
As the couple hugged and kissed again, the Doctor cleared his throat. "Shall we get on our way, gentlemen, get over all the questions Jack has and then figure out what we do next?"
Ianto pulled away from Jack and turned to the Doctor. "Just let me take care of one last quick arrangement." He lifted his arm with the black wristband on it and opened the case to press a button. "There. Now we can leave."
"What about your ship?" Jack asked. "Do we plan to come back here again?"
Ianto shook his head. "This planet, one day maybe. To this exact time? No. The ship is taken care of."
"What ship?" the Doctor inquired. "You had a ship? How were you able to afford a ship?"
Ianto smirked. "I won it in a card game."
Jack shook his head and started to chuckle. "That's no reason to leave it abandoned. It's a good ship. It might come in handy again."
"If we need another, we'll get it." Ianto raised an eyebrow at Jack. "I'm sure between the two of us, we'll be able to obtain other spacecraft as needed. I'm afraid that while I won the ship, I wasn't playing fair because I knew the ship was in the winnings, and I knew I wanted one for your pick up. Also, I'm 98% certain that the being I won the ship from did not obtain it legally." He shrugged his shoulders, ignoring Jack's shocked look and the Doctor's disapproving frown. "No matter. I just alerted local police to investigate it and it'll be returned to its rightful owner now that we're all here. So I suggest, Doctor, that we be on our way before someone comes knocking on the door asking questions I don't feel like answering."
"No need for you to answer," Jack remarked with a smirk. "I don't know much of it, so you could hide in the bowels of the TARDIS and leave the answering to me."
"As much as this pains me, but not being around for questions does seem to be the best action," the Doctor stated, already pushing levels and priming pumps around the control panel. "Hang on gentlemen."
As the TARDIS lurched, both Jack and Ianto exchanged looks before joining the Doctor at the control panel. "Think it might work better with the three of us?" Ianto asked as he took his place, already having flown the TARDIS before. Jack also took a place, helping to steady the ship, and starting to grin like a madman. He looked across the circular panel at first the Doctor, and then to Ianto.
It was hard not to feel the rush of adrenaline, the thrill of adventure and the wonderful sense of living again. He had more than when he woke up the day before, along with a bonus he thought he would never get a chance of.
It was time for Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones to travel with the Doctor, and it couldn't get any better for Jack.