A/N: I have had some requests for a split POV. I'm not sure if that's where I am going with this story. At the end of the day this is about Santana's journey through love and so I'm totally on her side. However, if Brittany is still what you need...after this chapter. Tell me and I will deliver her at a better point in the story. Okay?

Enjoy!

P.S. This song was just too perfect!

Chapter 3: Take It All (Adele)

We loved each other, so I wouldn't cry over her.

Over this.

For now, I needed to stay focused and sober, nothing would distract me from my purpose.

Not even Brittany.

Early Monday morning, I stood in the guest room at Sandra's house staring at my reflection in the mirror. I had decided that I was going to actually wear shorts today since I would be getting the stupid ankle monitor off on my way to the airport.

I was flying commercial and really didn't need anything to slow down my travel plans. I wanted to get out of New York as soon as possible and I didn't want anything to get in my way.

I was feeling a bit insecure because I had put on a few pounds in rehab on top of my pregnancy weight and was closing in on 150 pounds which is such a scary thing for someone like me. Add to that the fact that I would be actively trying to eat three meals a day from now on and you had me feeling like shoving my fingers down my throat.

But I was passed that.

I was better than that these days.

My arm had a fading purple bruise on it that I had wisely kept hidden from Sandra for the past week and if I wanted Britt to not have the world rain down on her, I would be wise to keep Sue from seeing it as well. I wasn't sure how I could lie about it or if I could hide it but I would sure try.

It wasn't that I was trying to protect Brittany because that was the last thing that I really wanted to do but I still love her and even though I think she's being really immature. I understand her in a way that no one else does...aside from her mom and Sue.

She hadn't meant to hurt me. I'm sure of it.

I sound like such a fool...even to myself.

Who am I kidding?

I sound like a battered and abused woman...don't I?

"Is that a bruise?" I whipped around so fast that I nearly tripped over the baby's car seat.

Damariz stood there staring at me and then turned around and shut the bedroom door and locking it.

She walked back over to me and sat just in front of me on the edge of the bed.

"Can I see it?" she sighed as she held her hands out to me.

I was hesitant but I did as she asked and gave her my arm.

She lightly touched the swollen skin and then leaned in and kissed it.

I dropped my eyes but she tilted my head so that I could look at her.

"Did Britt do that to you?" she didn't look mad, just concerned.

"Yes." I said not offering much more of an explanation.

She sighed again and then patted the bed right next to her. I looked at her and then sat down next to her. She grabbed my hand and pulled it in her lap.

"Has anyone ever told you how Saul and I met?" she said as she played with my fingers.

"No...I don't know much about you guys actually." I admitted with a frown. How was that possible?

Saul was just always that quiet, brooding guy in the background.

"Saul is ten years older than me and was married once before. He was with Sylvia for five years. They were happy and he thought that he would love her forever but then she cheated on him with some guy from work that she had been hanging with after work and then Saul cheated and she cheated again. They went back and forth like that for a year, I think. She ended up getting pregnant...she had an abortion though and ended up filing for divorce from him. They had been childhood best friends but now they had all this bitterness between them. It killed the best parts of their friendship. Soon after the divorce, she went off and married Saul's best friend, Dominic...my boyfriend at the time. He just came to me one day and said...'Guess what I did...I went to Vegas and got married...isn't that cool?' I punched him in the face and broke his nose. Anyway, Saul and I met when I dropped Dominic at the hospital. We laughed at our crazy connection and fell in love soon after."

"Wow." I said as I looked at her in shock.

"Yea...I say all this to say...that you and Brittany are childhood best friends, first loves and all that. I've been watching you each become bitter more and more. When you left for rehab...she tried. For a good two weeks she tried...but then that girl started hanging her around and slowly showed Brittany what she was missing out there...just like that she was out every night and coming back with people. Sandra put her foot down and they stood toe to toe in the dining room. It took me and Celia to hold Sandra back from killing her. After that she rebelled completely. Saul and I talked about it and he sees that look of rebellion in Britt that he saw in Sylvia. He says it's good that you stepped back."

"Yea? Why?"

"You and Britt are meant for each other Ana. You both know it, I know it but the problem with that is that at your age...shit my age and even your mom's age...forever is a really long time! That's scary. Britt is still a kid and I think without you there constantly reminding her that she had to grow up and with us stepping in so easily to take care of the kids...she remembered that she's still young. She realized that she doesn't want this life right now. She wants to be young and free."

"So do I...she can't think that I don't want that too."

"But Ana...that's not who you are. You have been through so much...more than most people in middle age and so even if you had the opportunity to go out there and live it up...you wouldn't. You grew up before your time and you have been dragging Brittany along for the ride. She's not ready yet. It's selfish. It's hurtful but it's the truth. You frustrate her. It's like seeing your destiny before your ready. So this time apart...however long it may be...is good if you guys are looking at forever. Just...give her time."

"What if I don't want to wait for her, Mari?"

She cocked her eyebrow.

"Don't you?"

"I do."

"See...you already know what you want. So now you just have to let it happen. In the meantime...stay away from her. Even if she comes to Lima...don't stay around her alone. She's dangerous off of those meds. I don't want you to be hurt again."

"Okay."

"You were smart not to let Celia or Sandra see that. Keep icing it, okay?"

"Thanks Mari." I wrapped my arms around her and rested my head on her shoulder. "That was just what I needed to hear."

"Anytime. I hope it helped."

"More than you know."

The moment that the ankle monitor was off of my ankle, I felt so much freer.

I had to sign paperwork and stuff and then I was free to go. I walked with a strut as I carried Daniela through the police station. I know I probably looked like a maniac but I really didn't fucking care what these people thought. Hopefully, I wouldn't have to deal with them ever again unless I was like on their side of the law.

When I got to the airport, I was met with a surprise.

"What the hell are you doing here, Fabray?" I said as I came to a stop in front of my best friend in the terminal.

"I thought you might want some company?"

"And where is my son?"

She looked all shifty eyed and then looked me in the eye with that wall of indifference that she was always so good at throwing up when she was preparing to be attacked.

"Susan has him." she tilted her chin and essentially dared me to have a problem with Britt's mom having my son.

"Who's idea was that, exactly?" I didn't care that Susan wanted to see him, I just wanted it to be because she wanted to and not because anyone forced him on her.

"Hers. She saw me in the supermarket with him a few days ago...she thought you and B were in town. Apparently, Britt hasn't been in contact with her own parents for months now."

"Oh...that's unusual." I said as I dug for my ticket in my bag as I shifted the baby carrier to the side a bit.

"Well...she asked if she could spend time with him and I didn't think you would mind so I said she sure could. So she has had him all weekend. I told her that I wanted to fly out and meet you so she said she would keep him a while longer and we could all have a late lunch at Breadstix. What do you think?"

I put my hands on my hips. "Two things...I can't resist Susan and you know I can't resist Breadstix!" I said with a big smile. I was sure that I was accumulating drool already just thinking about it.

"Great...and if you want we can still get in to get a mani-pedi...she wants to spend time with Dani."

"We'll see. Lets get there first okay?"

"Sure."

"Lima here I come." I muttered as we made our way onto the plane.

Thank God that I got first class...I was suddenly insanely tired. I was putting someone on godmother duty as soon as we got seated. I needed a nap if I was going to have to talk to Susan without Britt present because odds are that she didn't know about her daughter dating Grady or being off her meds.

God help me.

I never thought that I would greet Lima again so willingly.

But here I was, holding my little girl in my arms and walking off the plane in Dayton willingly with Quinn by my side.

Daniela had been supremely calm on the plane ride, thankfully! She slept the whole way in Quinn's arms and even if she had fussed I would have whipped my boob out so fast there would have been no issue.

I spent the whole plane ride thinking about how things had ended up so scrambled between me and Brittany. Quinn had been pretty quiet the whole way and just held my hand.

Which was better than any conversation that we could of had at that point.

I was glad that Mari and I had gotten that chance to talk because it really helped me put some things in perspective and so now when I saw Susan, I would have somethings that I could say to her.

"Ready?" Quinn said as she pulled my suitcase behind her and looped an arm around mine.

"As ready as I can be."

"I'm really proud of you San. Like super proud."

"Yea?"

"Absolutely."

She steered me towards passenger pick-up and there sitting waiting was Susan holding hands with a very excited Isaac who was jumping up and down next to her.

I leaned into Quinn's shoulder.

"You could of told me she was picking us up."

"How else were we getting back to Lima, San? She dropped me off." Quinn rolled her eyes and then dropped her sunglasses over her eyes and plastered a smile on her face. "Well hey there Izzy! Susan! How was the park?"

"He doesn't like ducks." Susan said in mock seriousness. "He kept trying to kick them."

"Right on...that's my boy." I chuckled as I ruffled his hair.

"Mami! Baby!" he squealed. "Gam, up?" He held his arms up to Susan and she obliged by scooping him up so that he could see me better. I smiled really huge when he leaned over and kissed Daniela on the head and then lightly rubbed her her curls. "My baby." he said sweetly. I looked over at Quinn in disbelief and she shrugged and began to move to the back of the van so that she could put my suitcase in the back.

"Your son is quite possessive...no idea where he gets that from." Quinn said before lifting her sunglasses and winking at me.

"His father." I said and stuck my tongue out at her.

He didn't get that from me did he?

Quinn sat in the back seat with the kids and was singing her heart out while I sat next to my (ex?) mother-in-law in the front.

The drive between Dayton and Lima was an hour and so I knew that I couldn't stay quiet the whole time but I sure wished that I could. I just didn't want to deal with this. I loved Susan, she was there for me when my own mother was absent and she looked at me as another daughter. I hadn't seen her since before the coma and was really happy to be with her again.

I had missed her.

"So...Quinn tells me that you and Brittany are taking some time apart?" Susan said as she turned onto the highway.

We had made it five minutes before I was forced to speak.

Just great!

"It's more than that Susan. There's so much that you don't know." I said as I stared out at the Ohio countryside. I had missed this more than I had realized.

"Can I know? Will someone clue me in on what's going on at some point?" Susan bit out with more anger than I knew she could muster.

"I will tell you whatever you want to know, Susan, you know that." I said as I placed a placating hand on her shoulder. "No matter what Britt does, you are still my family. I promise you that."

She visibly calmed and then nodded her head.

"Are you getting a divorce?" she asked quietly.

I sighed heavily...Britt really had been out of touch with her mother.

"We were never legally married. So that's not necessary." I said quietly.

"Excuse me? I was in New York...I was there."

"I blackmailed the judge...I wasn't divorced yet and so he was going to file the papers once the divorce went through and he never did."

"Brittany knows this?"

"I told her. She knows."

"Which is why it was so easy for her to leave you?"

"I broke up with her." I said as I looked out my window. I couldn't bare to see Susan's face as she interrogated me.

"How is she doing?"

"I think she's doing just fine." I could feel the anger running through me but I tried to think positively.

This too shall pass.

Don't worry about what you can't change.

"Why do you say it like that? She must be devastated." Susan said in disbelief.

"She's already seeing someone else." I said quietly as I thought of the tall dancer that towered over her. It made my skin crawl to imagine him touching her where I had touched her.

"Is it Frankie again?" Susan slammed a hand against the steering wheel.

"No...it's...his name is Grady. He's one of the dancers on the show." I pressed my palms against my burning eyes.

I didn't want to cry about this.

I just wanted to act like it never happened.

"A guy? I thought she was done with guys after Artie?" she was the one resting a hand against my shoulder this time.

But I still couldn't bring myself to look at her.

"Yea well...she wasn't...I guess."

"Has she been having him around the kids?"

I turned to look at her finally when I saw that we were stopped at an intersection.

"She hasn't been seeing the kids. She...I went to see her when I got out of rehab and she did this." I rolled up my sleeve and Quinn literally leaped forward between the seats to get a look at the bruise on my arm. "Then she told me that I forced the kids on her...she denied them. I was holding Daniela at the time. She just...she isn't on her meds right now and I think...I think all that good she had built up...all the faith and love she built up...is slipping away now." I rolled down my sleeve and turned away from them and looked back towards the window.

I wanted to escape the car ride.

Thankfully though, after showing Susan what Britt had done, she didn't feel like continuing the conversation.

I closed my eyes and rested my face against the cool glass.

My heart hurt.

I just needed to get to Sue's so that I could focus on something else.

I was going to capitalize on her obsession with perfection and enlist her to help me get into shape.

For now though...I was going to have to allow Susan into what was going on because even with all her rebellion, Britt still listened to her parents. Maybe this would help Susan stop waiting for Brittany to reach out for her, and she would take initiative and go see her. I knew that she wouldn't tell Brittany what I had said and she would only bring up the bruise when the time was right.

Brittany needed her.

She may be the last hope for helping Brittany find herself again.

There was nothing that I could do anymore.

At least not while I was trying to get myself together.

"Are you sure that you are okay with them for a few hours?" I asked Susan as she dropped us off at the nail salon.

"Absolutely. You deserve this."

"Thanks Susan! See you in a few hours!"

"Bye girls!"

I watched Susan pull off and it immediately reminded me of the time before I got my license and she used to drop of me and Britt off at the mall. It made me hurt just a bit.

Thank God for Q.

She wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me towards the door of the salon.

"Come on San...we don't have to talk about her...we can just gossip. Okay?" she said as she pulled open the door and shoved me forward.

"Thanks." I said as I made my way over to one of the tables.

We sat side by side and got our nails buffed and polished and Quinn seemed to be deep in thought.

"What's up Lucy Q?"

"It's Rach...she has been talking to a few of the glee clubbers and apparently Mike Chang wants to propose to girl Chang in an elaborate way. She wants to get everyone together and help like we did with Mr. Schue and Bambi."

"With the pool...please tell me no pool!"

Quinn looked at me in shock.

"Does that mean you're in?"

I shrugged.

"As long as there isn't a pool involved. Then yes."

"Great! She's going to be so excited! Now I just have to convince Kurt."

"Is he home too?"

"Nope...he's doing a fashion internship back in Manhattan for the summer but he's free on Sundays and Mondays. He'll fly in if I ask him. He hasn't been in the best of spirits since Blaine broke up with him."

"He did?"

"Oh...you didn't know...right...it happened when Kurt came to see Blaine graduate a few weeks ago. Blaine is going to school at Oxford he said there was no way he was going to try and do an international relationship. He said he didn't want to hold Kurt back from being amazing. So they are just taking space kind of like you and Br-"

I shot her a glare and she quickly turned and started yapping with the nail lady about colors.

I didn't say much after that. It seemed that even though I had escaped Britt for the summer...she was going to constantly be popping up.

Sue was my last hope at this point.

"Talk to me San...please?"

We sat with our feet in the bubbling water. I had been texting for the past twenty minutes with a few people and had basically been ignoring her but now she had, had enough of the silent treatment.

"If you want to talk about Brittany, you can forget it." I said without looking up at her.

"You can't just act like this isn't happening."

"Fuck...I thought I'd get away from having to process my fucking feelings...at least with you. You and I...we never talked about stuff unless it was necessary."

"Well...it's necessary now, San."

"Fine...you want me to talk...I'm hurting, Q. I tried my best. I gave rehab my all. I tried so hard to do things right. To do things how I was supposed to be doing. She walked away from me...from us. Why is that so easy for her? Always! With Artie, with Finn, with Frankie, with you and Rachel and now with this guy. Why is it so easy for her?"

"I don't think it is."

I looked at her in shock and rested a hand against my cheek and tried to count my breaths, my heartbeats...anything to keep from snapping from the one available friend that I had at the moment.

"Tell me why you think that Q." I whispered between deep breaths. "Tell me how it's not easy for her?"

"Brittany doesn't know how to exist on her own...especially not without you. That's why she jumps into people's beds. When she feels like she can't do things on her own...she looks for comfort. That shit with the cheating was just because...that's what I always thought but then when she was so level with me after you and I...you know...I figured it out. She understood us jumping into bed for comfort because that is what she does. She knew what it was. She recognized it. You went to rehab and she had to start taking charge without you to fall back on...she didn't like it so she found comfort where she could. Frankie and Rachel aren't available...Ari and Tony will never go there and neither would I. So what does she do...she leans on the first idiot that looks her way."

I sat there in shock.

Why the fuck couldn't I see that?

How had I not realized this about my own wife?

"So now...she has him to lean on? So she will never learn...I guess this really is over, I thought she loved me." I played with my phone just to keep my hands busy. I wasn't craving, I was just processing.

Go me.

I needed Henry.

"It's not over...she does love you. She just needs to find her own. It's partially our fault. We babied her in high school, even on the Cheerios. We never let her shine."

I nodded in agreement.

"I don't think Grady is going to last long. I have it on good authority that he is kind of just using her." Quinn shrugged. "I thought of warning her but you know Britt...she's too stubborn and she is definitely not going to listen to me."

"Who told you that?"

"Rachel...Dionne told her."

"Wow."

"So it's just a matter of time before Britt realizes that she ruined a good thing with you and comes crawling back."

"I don't want that Q." I looked at her sharply. "I don't want her to come crawling back. I want her to come back when she is ready to be a family. Ready to be my wife, full-time."

"Don't hold your breath."

"Trust me...I hadn't planned on it."

"Look who finally decided to show up!" Sue said as she opened the front door of her sizable house in West Lima. I had Isaac perched on my hip and Quinn held Daniela and smiled brightly.

"Hi coach!" she said just as perky.

"Q! Good to see you!"

"Same here coach!"

"Well come on in!" she briskly turned around and made her way to towards the stairs.

Sue was prepared. She and Tor had apparently gotten a whole room painted for the kids to stay in. It was amazing. Isaac squealed when he saw a life sized Elmo. Before I knew it he was sitting on the floor talking to the thing.

"Cute kid you got there Lopez."

"Thanks."

"So if I were Schuester I would have been hugged by now." she said as she looked at me and Q sternly.

I opened my arms and hugged my old cheer coach and was soon joined by Quinn and the baby.

"Okay that's enough." she said as she stepped out of the hug.

Same old Sue.

Just what I needed!

A/N: Love it? Hate it? Review! Do you still want that Britt POV? I will try...if you really, really want it?