Even when he was filling out the paperwork and collecting Ziva's things. Tony still struggled to accept that his situation was real life. He was convinced that he was just reading a new "Deep Six" novel and was so engrossed. That he was living the story through the characters. Any minute now Jack would come running into the room and pull him back to reality. Except this was real life and even having Jack by his side. Would not bring him back to the version reality he wanted. By that evening he had signed papers regarding Tali's care and various forms in regards to Ziva's death. He had Jackson checked out and was bringing his son home to their new life.

Jack still was not talking to him, and Tony couldn't say he blamed him. He had killed his children's mother and put his baby daughter's life in grave danger. He should have never signed that form. It was Ziva he had been dealing with. She would have been the one to come through the surgery and walk again. She would even come back to the field and prove her strength. Instead he had panicked at the thought of extra work and care, and signed his wife's life away. He was a monster and a failure. It was after eight o'clock by the time they arrived home. He carried Jack in his arms and stepped through the front door. He carried Jack upstairs and tucked him into bed. No sense waking him up for anything. He showered in the hallway bathroom and put his dirty clothes back on. He could not bear to go into their room.

"This must be how it started with Gibbs." Tony said to himself as he headed downstairs.

Jack was asleep and Tony was alone, he really was alone. He stood alone in the living room and wondered what the hell he was supposed to do now. Ziva's book sat open on the arm of the couch. Just that morning she had been reading her book and so full of life. Now she was dead and he was a widower. He was a forty three year old widower. Jack was three years old without his mother and sweet little Tali was not even a day old with no mother.

"Abba!" Jack screamed, as he raced down the stairs.

"What's wrong, Jack?" Tony asked.

"Where's Tiggly?" Jack questioned.

"Did you leave him at the hospital?" Tony asked.

"No I didn't have him." Jack replied.

"Where was the last place you had him?" Tony asked.

"In the car" Jack replied.

"Which car?" Tony asked.

"Ima's car" Jack replied.

"Oh Jack I am sorry. I don't know if you can get Tiggly back. I will talk to the police officer's tomorrow but I don't know." Tony apologized.

"No! Need Tiggly!" Jack screamed.

"I will try to get him back but I can't right now." Tony sighed.

"I neeed him!" Jack screamed.

"I know Jack! OK! Don't you think I would get him if I could! Just sleep with one of your other stuffed animals for tonight! OK?!" Tony snapped.

"Abba Mean!" Jack cried.

"No Jack, I'm sorry." Tony apologized.

"Abba mean! I hate Abba!" Jack shouted.

Tony didn't think it was possible but he was riddled with even more guilt. He could not believe he had snapped at his son like that. Jack was just a two year old kid who had lost his mother. All he wanted was his toy and Tony had been so angry and cold. He could literally feel himself turning into his father. He wouldn't be surprised if he shipped Jack off to boarding school next. After all parenting was hard and he was weak. He could never handle this alone but he was alone. Ziva had no family left and Senior would never help him out. Well he wasn't alone. There was one person who could help him out. If he chose to anyway. He grabbed his phone and dialed the familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Boss, it's me."

"Tony? How are you holding up?"

"I just screamed at Jack. He was asking for Tiggly and I just lost it. He just wanted his toy and I destroyed him."

"Did you talk to him?"

"I tried to apologize but he just ran off. He's too small to understand any of this anyway."

"Do you need me to come over?"

"More than I ever have before."

"I'll be right there. Just sit tight. I will be right there."

"Thanks dad and I'm sorry to bother you."

"You never bother me."

Tony pulled his arm back and thrust his phone away. It slammed into the wall and crashed hard on to floor. The wall was cracked and broken, just like Tony's heart. He fell to the floor, kicked at the air, and screamed like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

"I just want Ziva back! I want my fucking wife! Why did you have to take her! She is my everything! I just want my family whole!" Tony shouted, at this point he didn't care if he scared Jack. He had already fucked his son up enough.

Gibbs drove at break neck speeds to get to his son's house. He parked in the sidewalk and rushed inside. He found Tony sitting on the floor; crying and screaming his head off. He tossed his keys onto the table and raced to his son's side. He fell onto his knees and pulled Tony into a tight hug.

"It's OK, Tony I'm here." Gibbs assured.

"I am a failure." Tony sobbed.

"You are not a failure. You were just widowed eight hours ago." Gibbs explained.

"Would you have treated Kelly like this?" Tony asked.

"I don't know." Gibbs replied.

"What if Jack hates me?" Tony asked.

"Tony you are really messed up. You get some rest or at least try to. I am going to go upstairs and talk to Jack." Gibbs explained.

"Yeah alright" Tony groaned.

A/N: From here on out Gibbs will do most of Jack's parenting. Until Tony can get back on his feet. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.