Chapter 3: Shame
I'm thinking it over
The way you make me feel all sexy but it's causing me shame
I wanna lean on your shoulder
I wish I was in love but I don't wanna cause any pain
And if I'm feeling like I'm evil, we've got nothing to gain
Christina was seating at her desk thinking about her night with Olivia and the pain in her eyes rat night. She looked over at Olivia laughing, hugging and kissing Brian, she suddenly felt used and discarded. How could she? Christina thought. That night Olivia made her feel loved, sexy and wanted but now she felt shame, like she was the mistress. Christina didn't say a word when Olivia waved or smiled at her. Olivia pulled her into the cribs and locked the door. "What's going on C?" Olivia asked.
Christina looked at her as if she was looking into her soul before saying what was on her mind. "You used me for sex and went right back to him,"
Olivia looked at her feet before looking up and responding. "I do love you but I'm terrified of telling accepting it."
"Why?" Christina said.
"Because you were always there when I needed you and never asked for anything in return," Olivia said.
"That's reason to pick me and love only me Livia please," Christina said.
"I am sorry I'm not ready to take the risk,"Olivia said and left the cribs.
Christina broke down on the floor in tears, her cries were pained and silent, and no one came to console her.
In this waiting game, love can't heal the wounds of not being wanted.
Song lyrics are by BANKS.
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