"I'm waiting," said Xander as he waited for everyone to recover from their shock.
"Clark?" asked Jonathan Kent as he looked at his son, something that greatly irritated Xander because they appeared to be ignoring him.
The young dark haired man instantly covered the distance between himself and Xander faster than most people could blink. While this action surprised Xander, it didn't really shock him; he'd seen too much to get shocked.
"What the Hell!" screamed the one eyed Watcher. Okay so there may have been just a little bit of shock.
"Son, if you'll just come inside and calm down I'll explain everything to you," said the farmer, as he started to make his way toward the house at a much more mortal pace.
"I think I'd rather have those answers right now," said Xander as he stepped into the sunlight, and instantly doubled over in pain. This time it wasn't just his eye that was hurting, this time every inch of skin that was exposed to sunlight felt like it was on fire.
Xander was vaguely aware through his pain of someone pulling him someplace, and then the pain instantly stopping. The first thought that his now clear mind came up with was that he was still changing, and the second thought was that he needed to know what these people knew.
"Okay, I'm ready for those explanations now, but I have to warn you that if you mention possessions I'm probably going to loose it again," said Xander in a shaky voice.
The Kent family shared a look, and Xander instantly knew that they were trying to decide just how much they should tell him. Usually he didn't mind if people kept their secrets to themselves, after all he had enough of his own, but right now he needed to know everything.
"Okay, going by the looks on your faces I'd say I just stumbled onto some kind of family secret or something, but trust me when I say it isn't that big of a deal. I've dealt with strange things for most of my life, and right now I need to know everything there is to know so I can change myself back."
"I'm kind of from another planet," said Clark.
"Clark!" shouted both of the parents in shock.
"Look at him, he needs to know," said Clark in a tone that was half argument, half pleading for them to understand.
"It's okay, I said that I could deal with the strangeness so I'll deal with the strangeness," said Xander. "Are you sure you're from a different planet and not just from another dimension?"
"We're sure," said Jonathan in a very firm tone.
"Okay, that brings us to the freaky statue impressions and the fact that I now have the same skin tone as a marshmallow," said Xander as he started to scratch around his eyepatch, something that was quickly becoming a nervous habit with him. "Don't suppose that teleportation trick you pulled a few seconds ago was just you moving really, really fast, was it?"
"Yeah, it was," said Clark.
"Okay, can you do more, or is that it?"
"Why do you need to know?" asked Jonathan.
"Because I'm guessing that the statue imitations from earlier was me moving fast, and I'd like to know what else he can do so I can know what else I may or may not be able to do so I don't hurt anyone," said the ex-carpenter with a bit of a growl in his voice. "Listen it's pretty obvious that you're protective of your son, and that's a good thing most of the time. However the two closest people in my life are a powerful witch and a woman that could bench-press a car, so I really don't care about your son being an alien."
"A witch?" asked Clark in disbelief.
In response Xander simply took out his cell phone that was thankfully undamaged, and selected the number one memory slot.
"Hey Willow, I need a proof special… No it isn't a new Slayer; your spell was right about this area being Slayer free… No I'm not in any trouble. Come on, this is me we're talking about… Hey, I resemble that remark! Just send the typical package… Thanks Wills. Tell Buffy I said hi if you see her, bye," said Xander right before he flipped the phone shut.
"What was that all about?" asked Martha.
"That was me arranging proof. You see we figured that some people wouldn't believe that the supernatural exists, so we came up with a plan to convince people. Basically what we do is teleport the basic survival kit of our occupation onto the kitchen table. It should be arriving any minute now," said Xander as he turned expectantly to said kitchen table.
"Yep, any minute now," said Xander after a rather long amount of time had passed, and the Kent's were looking at him like he had lost his mind.
Any questioning of Xanders sanity was cut off before it began as the cell phone started to ring, and the one eyed man quickly answered it. No one in the room required special hearing to hear the frantic female voice that blasted out of the small speakers, even if only two people in the room could make out what that voice was saying.
"No Willow, I'm not possessed again. I think it's more of a Swim Team thing than a Hyena thing… I don't know exactly what happened, and the people that can help me figure it out currently think I've lost my mind… I'm not getting snippy with you Willow. Listen to my voice; this is a calm, non-snippy, voice… It's okay Willow, I'd freak out too if I was in your shoes. Of course my freaking out would mostly be due to physical pain because you have small women feet while I have manly construction worker feet, so being in your shoes would hurt… Okay that sounds like a good plan. I'll just stay here and try to convince these nice people that I'm not insane while you get that set up."
"Girlfriend?" asked Martha Kent with a slight smile on her face as she tried to defuse the last bit of tension.
"Nope, just best friend," said Xander.
"That's usually how the best ones start," said the older woman with a smile. She'd heard those playful tones often enough to know that if those two weren't together now they would be in the future.
"Listen I'm not going to list all the reasons me and Willow won't get together because I don't think you want to hear me talk for the next ten hours. However I will tell you that one of the major reasons is that Willow is currently very happy with a girlfriend of her own."
"Oh," said the Kent matron as an embarrassment induced blush crept onto her face.
"What did she mean when she said she couldn't find your aura?" asked Clark, right before a large bang of displaced air filled the kitchen.
"It means exactly like it sounds," said Xander as he opened a case that hadn't been there a few seconds before. "The short version is that the monsters under the bed really do exist, and I help to kill the monsters before they can kill innocent people."
"You kill monsters, with sharp sticks," said Jonathan as he pulled out a stake from the weapons case.
"'So Your Daughter is a Slayer.' What's a Slayer?" asked Martha as she started to read the information pamphlet the former Scooby Gang figured should be included in all future Slayer recruitments.
"Mystically empowered girls that are on the front lines of a war. I'm here to find out how needed they are in this town and the surrounding area. This area is starting to get a reputation of high deaths and mysterious events, if there isn't already a demonic presence in this town there will be soon."
"You're saying that demons, real demons, will be coming here?" asked Clark.
"Yeah, but you probably won't have any more than a dozen at a time at worst. We thought that this place may be a new mystical hot spot, but I'm going to say the strangeness has more to do with the meteors than magic," said Xander with a shrug. "Chances are you'll probably have demons coming here thinking the same thing, but when they don't feel any mystical pull and see the number of altered humans they won't stay too long."
"You know about the meteors?" asked Clark while his parents remained silent. Both of them had noticed how Xander had glossed over his explanation of what a Slayer was before trying to distract them with the news that demons were coming to their town, and neither of them liked the glossed over version. However they were both willing to let it go, for now.
"Before I came here I met a girl in a coffee place that explained the whole thing to me. That's how I know this whole thing is my fault, because I was the one with one of the stupid things in my pocket and I was the one that cast the stupid stabilizing spell when it looked like you were going to die. The spell is meant to strengthen a dying life force by letting it draw strength from the healthy life force of the caster."
"That's why you think you have all the different abilities I do, because we bonded life forces?" asked Clark.
"Yep, and that's why I need to know if you can do anything else," said Xander as one chalk white hand brushed through his black hair.
"The sun's almost down, so how about we wait a few minutes and then I can show you, and you can try to duplicate them."
"Sounds good to me. I don't think I'll be in a rush to go anywhere for a while, unless you people know of a good pirate/mime convention," said Xander with a bit of a smirk.