Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Will: WE'RE BACK!!
L: And I was so enjoying Will's absence...
Will: Sorry for the delay people, I had to wait for my fur to grow back. -Glares at Takada-
Takada: -Human again- You'll get no pity from me.
Matt: The Zigzagoon should get me a new video game, I finished this one several times already.
Will: You're lucky I gave you one in the first pla- -stares at sock in Matt's hand- I'll be right back.
Tami: ... While that moron's gone, I'd like to announce a little... event... I've come up with for the fourth episode.
Light: Why do I get the feeling we won't like this...?
Tami: You can vote for any character on the show that isn't a Shinigami or a thing-y-gami.
Rem+Shidoh+Jealous+Ryuk: Awwww... -depressed-
Tami: Whoever the reviewers pick gets to endure Water Cure Torture!! You see, we strap them to a table and stick a funnel in their mouths, then we pour water down their throats (if they don't drink it they drown!), when their stomach is filled to the pint of bursting, we beat the crap out of them until they throw it back up! Then we repeat the process until I get bored!! Isn't that nice?
Rem+Shidoh+Jealous+Ryuk: YAY!!
Everyone else: 0.0...
Tami: So remember, vote for whoever you want. In fact, I'll be nice... vote for whatever THREE characters you want. Whoever is most hated gets the torture.
Light: I have a note from my doctor that says I can't be here for the next episode.
Takada: I'm violently allergic to funnels!
Tami: Shut up you whiners.
Will: I'm back! -tosses Matt a new game- Happy now!?
Tami: Remember... anyone...
Will: What's up with her?
Ryuk: Hyuk hyuk hyuk
Human characters: -hiding in a corner-
Will: Ooookay... Well, we're starting with the questions now! First questions from our returning questioner: SONAR!! Bwong!
Matsuda
When I'm talking about the dreams of you and Ide, I'm talking about separate ones though I did dream of a threesome once. I mean I would have dreams of you one day and then Ide the next. feels like someone is watching her from behind
Sorry for accidently choking you.
Does Aizawa yell at you even if you do nothing? is tempted to ask Aizawa if an egg ever landed in his hair when he had the fro
Is it true that Ide has the worse time trying to get a girl?
Did Sayu ever recover after Light's death?
How many times have you been called an idiot?
Even if guns are illegal to use, how do you perfect your aim? You seem really good with guns.
Your thoughts as you shot Light and then watched him get away?
Do you view Light different from Kira?
Matsuda: -breathes again- thank god! Well, it's good to know that I have fans.
Will: Yeah, fans that have wet dreams about you.
Soichiro: Shut up and let him finish! -stern fatherly tone-
Will: What the-!? When did you get here!?
Matsuda: Hi chief! And yes, Aizawa /does/ yell at me for no reason at times. I think he just likes hearing his own voice.
L: I believe Matsuda is only saying this because he is bitter about being the only one to screw up often.
Matsuda: That's not true!
L: There's a seventy three percent chance that you're lying.
Matsuda: -sighs- Anyways, yeah, Ide can't get a girl to save his life.
Ide: And how many girlfriends do you have Matsuda? -glares-
Matsuda: -ignores Ide- Yes, from what I hear she's doing much better. Though I haven't had time to go see her in a while...
Light: Stay away from my sister. -growl-
Will: / I'm pretty sure the Japanese police can carry guns.
Matsuda: Yeah, I practiced at the shooting range back before I had to quit the police. And for your last questions, I wasn't really thinking much at that time. And now that I know Light was Kira, I don't see a difference between them. Though I'm still not sure if I completely disagree with his ideals...
Will: Bleh, Light sucks.
Light: Shut up Will.
Will: Don't tell me what to do!
L
Has someone ever spiked your cake with hot sauce?
L: ... No...
Light: That's a great idea! -Grabs L's cake-
L: ... Light, the trick would only work if I was unaware of your actions...
Light: I knew that! I was being... comical. Yeah.
L: ...
Light: C'mon! I don't even have any hot sauce to spike it with!
L: -Takes his cake back- up 3 percent.
Light DX They already know I'm Kira!
L: So you admit it.
Light: I- Wait- What!?
L: -Smiles happily as he eats his cake-
Mello
Has your false alias of Mello ever been made fun of?
Mello: Only every day. The guys in the Mafia used make fun of me all the time. And Matt's ring-tone is 'Have You Ever Been Mellow'.
Matt: -laughs- good times. Gooood times.
Matt
hugs Matt
Matt: -Grins- See, I'm the most loved out of all of you.
Ukita
Poor Ukita. Wished you didn't die. Yes, I know who you are.
gives Ukita a hug
Why do you smoke anyways?
Biggest fear besides death?
Final thoughts as you died?
Has Matsuda ever driven you nuts at one point? same question to Mr.Yagami, Aizawa, Light, L, Ide and Mogi
What ran through your head as you made your way to Sakura TV?
Funniest prank call you recieved before or during the Kira Case same question to the rest of the task force
Will: Holy crap! I forgot to bring Ukita back!! -runs off-
L: There's a possibility that Will is more of an idiot than Mastuda.
Will: -distant- I'll take away your sweet privilages if you say that again!
L: ... Then again it's a very small possibility.
Tami: Y'know... I have the Life Note right here... I'll just... -Writes in Ukita's name-
Ukita: Where am I?
Gevanni: Just answer the questions. I'm up next.
Ukita: O...kay. Uh... Wish I didn't die either, thank you kind stranger? I smoke because it calms me down I guess.
Tami: He smokes?
Mastuda: -shrug-
Ukita: My biggest fear besides death... spiders. Not the normal ones you find in your house, just the hairy ones. They creep me out.
Tami: That's a lame fear.
Light: How so? I don't like spiders either.
Tami: And there's my point.
Ukita: My final thoughts... 'I guess I won't get to catch Kira after all'. And no, why would Matsuda drive me nuts?
Soichiro: No, but he's come close.
Aizawa: I have been tempted to strangle him on occasions.
Light: No, of course not.
Matt: LIES!!
All: -Stares at Matt-
Matt: What? We all know that's complete bullshit...
L:... anyways, no. I wouldn't allow someone like Matsuda to... 'drive me nuts'.
Ide: YES. He won't shut up about how I need a date. I think he's hitting on me.
Matsuda: EW! No! No!!
Ide: ... I was joking.
Matsude: ... oh.
All: -looks at Mogi-
Mogi: ...
All: ...
Mogi: ...
Matsuda: Try putting some peanut butter in his mouth.
Gevanni
And i know you for being the one that played an important role in the Kira case by spying on Mikami.
You're pretty cute too.
How would you react to a MikamixGevanni pairing?
Gevanni: -smiles- thanks, I am pretty cute, aren't I?
Light: I'm cuter...
Gevanni: And the pairing annoys me. Why would I want to go out with a psychotic Kira supporter like him?
Mikami: I'm not psychotic! Don't make me delete you!
Gevanni: Don't make me shoot you!
Both: -glaring-
Matt: They're staring each other down!
All: ...
Matt: What...? Does no one remember pokemon stadium?
Mikami
Final thoughts as you were dying?
When you saw Light have a break down, what were you thinking?
You look cute without your glasses.
Mikami: I don't need to tell you what I was thinking. But thank you for the complement.
Near: Most likely he was thinking that he was a fool for following a false god, and he's now too embarassed to state it out loud.
Mikami: ...
Near: ...
Mikami: Where's my Death Note?
Ide
hugs Ide who is probably just taken off guard
You're not hopeless and you got a few fangirls.
Do people ask why you don't have eyebrows?
Like I told Matsuda, I do have alot of dreams about you that I wrote in my journal.
How tall are you?
Has someone ever made fun of your name?
Worse joke or advice you ever received?
How do you react to being paired with Aizawa, Mogi, Matsuda & Light?
Biggest misconception about you?
Did people ever consider you a soft person or emotionless?
Ever tried to avoid a conflict only to end up having to hit someone or hitting someone by accident or getting hit in the process?
Does Matsuda pretend that you have a girlfriend while on duty?
I notice you wear green alot of times. I do like the color green.
Worse injury recieved? same question to task force
Do you think people might misunderstand you at times? same question to Matsuda, Mello & Matt
Any favorite shakesphere play you like? I'm a Macbeth fan
What have you observed about the other people you work with? Any annoying habits that they picked up?
Weirdest habit you picked up?
falls asleep on Ide while standing up and Matsuda decided to pick on Ide for it
Ide: -blush- Thank you. And I ignore people when they ask about them.
Matsuda: I'm still curious about it.
Ide: Well that's... -blush- nice. And I don't know... average height?
(aka, Will can't be bothered to look it up)
Ide: Not that I know of... why would they? Is my name funny? And the worst advice I've ever received is 'Just be yourself'.
Matsuda: She was a bitch anyways...
Ide: Moving on. I don't really care who people pair me with, it's not like I'm going to read their stories. And for the misconception... It would have to be that I'm no fun. I can be a normal guy when I'm not working, really. I'm fun!
Light: So many questions. Why are none for me?
Will: -back- Because no one likes you.
Ide: For the next two questions, no, sorry. I like green too, I actually like mostly earthy colors.
Mello: Oh gods, they're talking about colors now.
Matt: Boooring.
Ide: My worst injury... Well... I got hit by a car once. That sucked.
Matsuda: I strained my neck when I 'fell' off the building that one time.
Aizawa: When I lost my Afro.
Matt: -moving Mogi's lips up and down and speaking in a high voice- When I got castrated with a pair of scissors!
Soichiro: When L thought my son was Kira, that was a great personal injury.
Mello: Hmm, I thought you would've said 'when I got shot up by a Mafia thug, blown up, and then died in a hospital bed miles away from home' but your answer's good too I guess.
Ukita: The heart attack. That sucked. Royally.
Ide: Yeah, people might misunderstand me, but that's their own problem.
Matsuda: People ALWAYS misunderstand me. It hurts.
Mello: I can usually correct their thinking when that happens.
Matt: -playing game- eh... pass.
Ide: I enjoyed 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'. And Matsuda has the habit of continuously talking when people want him to shut up.
All: -waits for more-
Ide: ...
Will: -sigh- Next question Ide.
Ide: Oh, I don't have any habits that I know of and... why is she sleeping on me.
Matsuda: -laughing-
Will: moving right along. It's... threemillionworded!
AH! Give near his toys! I Command you!
If you don't I shall stop reading. glare
Near: -smiles creepily- There. Someone cares.
Will: Feh. One person. -sulking-
Near: Do I get my toys now?
Will: ...
Mello: If you give him a toy, I'll shoot you.
Will: THIS ISN'T FAIR!!
Mello: Life isn't fair.
Near: -sigh- I just want something to play with.
Will: -looking between Near, Mello, and threemillionworded- MOVING ON!! Up next is MattsHalo!
Matt...I feel your pain about Socky fainting...my Furrett just fainted...anyways, I think you're freakin awesome so screw what Misa said. You're still cute. hugs :)
Matt: -grins- Man, the love just won't stop coming. And sorry about your Furrett man, it's sad when they faint. I'm just glad Socky's feeling better now.
Takada: My name is TAKADA!
All: Shut up Socky.
L: Sweets for you! Do you think that the saying 'You are what you eat.' applies to you? How do you think it applies to everyone else in the room?
L: I wouldn't say so. I have yet to turn into a giant strawberry cake. Though according to many of my fans I am incredibly 'sweet' so perhaps...
Will: -rolls eyes-
L: As for everyone in the room... Near doesn't eat anything as far as I can tell, though I know he must eat /something/. Mello consumes a lot of chocolate, which explains his completely sexual appearance. Ryuk eats apples but I don't see much connection to his personality, Matt, Yagami-san and the other members of the task force eat normally, and most of the shinigami do not eat at all. Aiber drinks wine often, and is very sophisticated when he wants to be. Hmm... and I've seen Will consuming vast amount of Warheads when no one is looking, which might account for his sour personality.
Will: SILENCE!
Takada: Goddamnit...just shut up...Takada: -glares- Don't tell me what to do! I'll write your name in the Humiliation Note!
Light: Socky- Takada.. you don't know his/her real name.
Takada: ... damnit.
Will:HUGS! These stories of yours are fun!
Will: -blush- Aww... thanks!
Mikami: Did you know you said the word 'Delete' 96 times throughout the entire Death Note series? I actually counted, and sir, you have a serious problem. Here's some Adderall.
Mikami: Ninty six? Hmm... it seemed like more than that. -looks at Adderal- ... what are you implying with this?
Light: You are such an ass,you just amaze me with how you said you may have to kill Sayu...and that's Matsuda's future wife!(Right, Matsuda?)
Matsuda: RIGHT!
Light: -glares-
Matsuda: I mean... no. No... she's not.
Mello: hugs! You're so cute when you're evil! Just like Matt with his games!
And just because I think everyone in the room is so awesome, you get to give Lightlamp...A VASECTOMY!
Mello: I'm not cute! And... wait... Give Light a vasectomy?
All except Light, Takada, Soichiro, and Misa: SWEET!!
(Due to the graphic nature of the next scene, we have decided to cut it from the final draft)
Light: -curled up in the fetal position surrounded by the few characters who give a shit- I... I... why'd they use hedge trimmers?
Misa: Oh... poor Lighto!
Will: Whatever, anyways... up next it... ComaWhite.X!
:gasp:! a dancing Raccoon!!
I have questions!!
Will: Congrats.
Light: YOU POOR SOUL! Didn't you ever feel completely alone, stuck with that mind of yours, trapped with the idea of a new world that was always just out of grasp? I pity you and your god complex, and though I violently dislike you for being an utter pillock, I was sad when you died, because you were very interesting, and it meant that Death note was over.
Light: -magically recovers(Health Notes are so useful)- I was never stuck in my mind about it. I was going to make it a reality! If it weren't for the two most annoying characters in this show, I would've! -glares at Matsuda and Near-
Both: Love you too Light.
Light: And whether or not you like me is none of my concern. Who needs fans when you're GOD!?
L: Just keep saying that Light. You know you wish you had as many as us. -standing next to Mello and Matt-
Mello: -Smirks- but nope, you have to share your shame with the sheep.
Near: Hi.
Light: -sobbing-
L: Hello!! You don't really talk much do you?
One of my alternate personalities named Eruru is INCREDIBLY like you, she dresses the same, sits the same, eats the same food, analyses everything the same, and even has one of your little pixie smiles. Does this completely freak you out? It freaks me and the others out! Also, I'm glad your alive again!
L: I'm glad to be alive as well. And to answer your question, it is not the personality's similarity to myself that is unnerving, but the fact that you have others that is slightly alarming.
Will: Split personalities are fun though!
L: ... right.
Mello: You are hot. I'm attracted to androgynous males though, so I don't know if you're gonna take this as a compliment or not...
Mello: I'm not androgynous! I look like a man in every way! Only a complete moron would think I was a girl!
Near: ... I thought you were female when I first saw you. And it's been proven that you're less intelligent than I am. So if I am a moron, what is Mello.
Mello: ... I'm going to shoot you.
Near: If you're going to, then do it. -completely indifferent-
Mello: -storms off to sulk-
Near: -smiles- He likes me.
Matsuda: I wuv 'o! You're sweet, and i'm glad that you have courage and strength, you are a brilliant person and you will go far in life!
Matsuda: -happytear- Thank you!
Matt: Connect with me??
Matt: SURE!
Will: No time, moving on. Next questions are from puddingcup!
Will: This isn't a question but whatever... you should skip the naps more often... its fun when you curse at Takada :D
Will: Can do ma'am!
Takada: I despise you.
L: if i die, can we be together in heaven? -hugs- You need more sweets... -gives L a strawberry cheescake-L: I doubt I'll be going to Heaven, considering I am an atheist. -Eats cheesecake- though I thank you for the cake. It's delicious. -smiles-
Near: sh... don't tell will i gave you this toy... -sneakily hands Near a toy-
Will: -pretends not to notice as Near takes the toy-
Near: -plays- The world is in balance again.
Mello: Mello, Please behave... i know its not easy, but if you do behave, i'll give you a lot of chocolate in the next episode!
Mello: -Aiming the gun at Near- ... -lowers it- How much chocolate are we talking about here?
Matt: What level are you on? wait that's a stupid question... you've probably already beat the game... :D
Matt: Yeah, actually I'm on my third time through already. God, Will, can't you find a challenging game?
Will: Be glad you have anything at all, jerk.
Light: -glares- Asshole.. -slaps- killing people isn't nice...
Light: Slapping people isn't nice either, bitch.
Will: BE NICE TO MY READERS! -smacks Light-
Light: Don't touch me! -slaps Will-
Matt: ZIGZAGOON! USE FURY SWIPES!!
Will: Shut up Matt! ... good idea though. -starts scratching Light's face-
Misa and Takada: I really don't know what to say... Light is a man whore (sorry for my language) you two should dump him... or at least use the humiliation notes on him... make him freakishly deformed or something...
Will: Language is not an issue here.
Takada: I don't care what you think of Light. I love him.
Misa: Yeah! Me too. Except more than stupid Tacky here.
Matt: SOCKY! USE SURF!!
Takada: What the hell?
Matsuda: -ruffles hair- I've always wanted to do that... both you and L have cool hair... -sneaks up behind L and ruffles L's hair-
Matsuda and L: -Chibi squee-
Mikami: lol... you should really be more careful with those pens... you're not Jason Bourne y'know... if you want to die by a pen, call him...
Mikami: ... Seriously... where is my death note?
Will: Well, I don't know. But I certainly didn't steal it. -whistles-
Tami: Next up is from... xXxMeltedHersheyBarxXx
I'll be nice and ask a question for each and every one of you.
Matsuda: Did you and Sayu ever get together? You seemed to really have a thing for her.
By the way, you're not completely unloved. I like you; we should be friends.
Matsuda: I wish. She just doesn't feel for me in the same way. -sighs-
Will: Get over it. She digs me more.
Matsuda: -glaring at Will- Okay, friends is good.
L: What do you look for in a woman? If you found the woman of your dreams, what would you do?
L: I am not looking for a woman at all. To be completely honest I don't have much interest in romance.
Raito-Lighto: If you were king of the world, what would be the first thing you'd do?
Light: Didn't you watch Death Note? I WAS the king of the world!
Will: Just answer.
Light: I'd purge the world of evil of course!
Misa: Have you ever read a book?
Misa: Of course Misa-misa reads books! She loves Romeo and Juliet especially!
Takada: Did you ever have sex with Light?
Misa: SHE BETTER NOT'VE!
Takada: A lady doesn't undress and tell.
Light+Misa: -Gaping-
Misa: Oh that is IT! -Writes Takada's name in humiliation note-
Takada: What the hell? -gets covered in acne- Oh my god! -faints-
All: Ew...
Mikami: What was the worst thing a bully ever did to you?
Mikami: ... I don't like to talk about it...
Will: So I will! I happen to know this story because I probed his mind last week. I was bored.
Takada: So what happened.
Will: It was awesome! They beat him to a bloody pulp, then they stripped him buck naked and tied him to the flag pole! He was out there all night! And when the kids showed up for school the next day, everyone got to see Mikami's impressive... eh... moving on. :3
Mello: How many bars of chocolate do you eat on average in a day? And where can I get a pair of pants like yours, you sexy fiend?
Mello: I can eat anywhere from seven to ten bars daily. -smirk- And you /can't/ get a pair of pants like mine, because mine are more awesome than any you'll ever find. EVER.
Matt: How so?
Mello: SILENCE!
Will: That's my thing!
Matt: What's your game: RPG, MMO, First-person-shooter, strategy?
And why do you wear goggles? I had a feeling it was to help ease the glare of staring at screens all day. Am I right?
Matt: The one I'm playing right now is an RPG. Though it has a crappy storyline and is pretty much just a glorified shooter game. Oh well, fun fun.
Will: Don't complain.
Matt: I'm not. And no. That's not why I wear these, though good point. I wear them because they make me look drop dead sexy.
Mello+Near: It's true, they do.
Matsuda: Hehehe, that rhymed.
Soichiro: Shut up Matsuda.
Matsuda: Yes sir.
Last and just about least (Near): Have you ever gotten lost in a snow storm?
Near: You say I'm least, but I happen to be the worlds greatest detective at the moment.
L: But I'm alive again, so now I get my spot back.
Near: No you don't.
L: Yes I do!
Near: No you don't.
L: I could sleuth circles around you!
Near: Then why am I the only one who could catch Light?
L: You had help!
Will: Enough! Moving on.
Near: Right. I never got lost in a snow storm because Rodger always made me wear a tracking collar whenever it snowed at Wammy's.
Mello: Gods that was so funny.
Matt: Yeah, one time we attached a leash to it and dragged him around calling him Rover.
Mello: Good times.
Thank you for answering my questions, I very well may write again.
Will: We look forward to it! Finally, I'm Nova has the last questions!
abuseTo Mello: 1) Where do you come from? I heard Germany, Croatia... I'm getting confused.
2) Did you ever consider that perhaps you're second because while Near has his own quirks your chocolate-loving attitude is too much like a copycat of L sweets fixation? By the way, this is not my real name and you won't find a photo on my profile, so even if you can get a hold of another Death note you can't kill me.
3) How do you feel about the MelloNearMello pairing? (I write it this way so it's not decided who's on top ;) )
Mello: Where I come from is none of your business.
Will: He doesn't know.
Mello: SHUT UP!
Will: Touchy.
Mello: And also, JUST LOOK AT NEAR! He copies just about everything else about L! Poor posture, stacking things, HIS EYES!
Near: I can't help the way my eyes look. And I'm much better at stacking things than L.
Mello: Shut up brat. And I don't NEED the Death Note to take you down! I'll just have Matt track you down through the Internet and kill you myself!
Will: Wow, Matt can do that.
Mello: -shrug- I think so. When he's not playing video games I'll ask.
Will: Good luck with that.
Mello: I would never allow myself to be topped by that albino freak.
Near: That's fine, I don't mind bottoming. -Smiles-
Mello: NO! Gross! Never!
Near: Sure Mello.
Will: Eh... anyways... Read and Review, the more questions the better! Unless you have as much as Sonar. That was just scary.
Light: Wuss.
Will: Shut up! Okay, so g'bye peeps!
Tami: Don't forget to vote!
Will: Huh?
Tami: Nothing, goodnight folks!
tbc