A/N- Thank you guys for being patient as you wait for the next chapter. I will try to update everyday if I can, but with school, work, volleyball, and other stuff it's a little challenging. On the weekend at least I'll be able to update, and winter break is less than 2 weeks away! By the way, I love all of your reviews and tips and such. I actually have a document on my computer with suggestions. :)

Beckett knew it was wrong to run away from her problems, but that was who she was. She hid her love for Castle through pointless relationships; she hid from the emotions of her mother's murder by putting everything into being a cop. Her dad was completely right. The job was, could possibly still be, her dream, but part of the reason she took it was because she was scared of where her relationship with Castle was going to go. He had a reputation, and so did she. She couldn't help but have one foot out the door, just in case. But as scared as she was, she desired to see what their future would hold. Whenever she imagined her future, there was not a time where Castle was missing from it. Now, she felt the void in her life, and it numbed her senses. She so desperately wanted to run back to him, to try and fix the heartbreak, but she was too afraid. So Kate Beckett did what she does best; she hid in her job.

Agent Beckett has been with the FBI for a little over a month now, and she put everything she had into her job. For a little while, the pain was tolerable. It's not okay, but she could ignore it for the time being.

The worst was when she's home alone at her new apartment. The numbness dissipated, and the emotions rushed back to her. The pain ate away at her until soon she was just an empty shell of the extraordinary person she used to be. She left countless numbers of phone calls and text messages on Castle's phone, but slowly the calls and texts became less frequent. Beckett was losing hope, but not all of it. There was a sliver of it left in her heart where she will never stop loving Rick.

Beckett sat at the large table in the break room and stared blankly at her mug of coffee, the steam no longer rising from the liquid. It was one of those days where her mind and body just couldn't function properly.

Her new partner, Rachel McCord, took a seat next to her.

"Beckett, can I talk to you?"

Beckett looked up to acknowledge McCord, but her expression didn't waiver. She looked at McCord for a moment longer, and then tilted her head back down to stare at her coffee.

"I'm not really one for these types of conversations, but I just wanted to say that you've done a great job adapting here in the last 2 months. Your skills have improved greatly, and I have to say you're one of the best I've worked with." McCord paused to see if the compliment reached Beckett, but there wasn't a change in her expression. "Anyway, I've noticed lately that you've become very distant. Like now, I don't even know if you've heard a word I've said. I know I don't know you that well, but from what I've heard, you're a very passionate person in and out of work. I've seen the passion in the job, and occasionally outside of work, but now it's fading."

"It's a long story," Beckett mumbled.

"Do you..want to talk about it?" McCord asked awkwardly.

"Not really."

McCord sighed. "Alright, but if you're ever up for talking about it, I'm willing to listen." She stood up and waited a moment to see if Beckett had anything else to say, but when Beckett didn't move, she walked out the door.

Castle's phone buzzed non-stop for the first week with calls, voicemails and text messages. Most of them were from Beckett which he didn't give a second glance. There were quite a few from Lanie and the guys questioning where he'd been and what happened.

"Richard Castle, I don't know anything about what's going on, and I know you think I'm all on Beckett's side, but I'm your friend, too. If you want to talk, I'm just a phone call away," a text from Lanie read. It was the last one from Lanie he'd gotten. The ones before were typical of Lanie, demanding that he tell her what happened and that she was going to hunt him down if he'd done something to Beckett. The last one surprised him because he did think that Lanie was going to be fully on Beckett's side. He was touched, but that didn't mean he wanted to talk to her.

The texts and voicemails from Ryan and Esposito were basically the same thing. They both wanted to know what happened, and they both told him that they were his friends and cared about him.

2 months passed, and the constant notifications came to a stop. He occasionally got some from Beckett and his friends, even a few from Gina demanding to know why he hadn't submitted anymore Nikki Heat chapters. Other than that, his phone was mostly left untouched.

Alexis left for Costa Rica 3 weeks ago, and Martha hadn't been around the loft much, or he just hadn't noticed because he didn't pay attention to much anymore. Before Alexis left, he noticed the hushed tones between her and mother. They tried to approach him about the situation a few times, but he'd always responded with, "Some other time." He didn't want to talk about it with anyone because the moment the words came out, he knew he was going to lose it.

Alexis and Martha hated seeing Castle like that. Alexis started to feel some hatred towards Kate, but Martha just felt sad for the both of them. Alexis didn't want to leave for her trip with her dad like this, and Martha didn't want to abandon him at the loft, but they both knew he needed time to cope.

The days continued to go by slowly and painfully for Castle until one day he couldn't keep living with the pain anymore.

"It's time for me to move on with my life," he thought. Of course he'd never stop loving Kate, but he's lived without her before, maybe he could do it again. Maybe he can dull the constant ache for awhile.