When I woke up, I could tell that I wasn't in my bed at home.

That itself didn't particularly surprise me. I remembered partying (nerding out) at Erica's house last night, and falling asleep during her lengthy timeline lecture about Middle Earth. It wasn't the first time we'd heard it, and I was sure it wouldn't be the last.

I wasn't lying on the floor, like I always did when Erica, Olivia, Sydney, and I partied, either. I was on a soft feather mattress, under a heap of cream-colored blankets, with sunlight streaming in through a nearby window.

Umm… I sat up. Where were my friends?

A knock sounded on my door.

Jumping, I grabbed a nearby vase of flowers and leapt off my bed, sneaking across the room. I pressed myself against the wall so if someone came through the doorway, I would have no trouble knocking them on the head. I had appeared in a strange place, with none of my friends around, and suddenly a stranger starts knocking on my door? It was all very suspicious, and I wasn't going to go along without a fight!

Whoever it was groaned in a loud voice and opened the door. "What's taking you so long? It's time for breakfast, and we have a lot to do today!"

Not stopping to realize that this was probably not the kind of thing your normal kidnapper would say, I gave my best battle cry and brained the figure in the doorway over the head with my pot of flowers. It shattered, and the person collapsed onto the floor with a muffled 'oof'.

"That's what you get, you creep!" I stuck out my tongue and flipped the limp body off. It was then that I realized who the person was.

"Haldir?"

The person- sorry- elf who was crumpled on the floor definitely looked the golden-haired warrior from Lorien. I wondered who it really was; probably some kid from school recruited by my friends to play a trick on me.

It certainly was an accurate trick. His hair was braided just right, and his ears were more real than any plastic pair I had ever seen. As I stared at them, I reached up to touch my own… and felt that they were just like Haldir's!

Heat racing, I raced over to a tall silver mirror in the corner of my room. The face that gazed back was the face of an elf, pointed ears and all! I had wavy, waist-length blonde hair and catlike green eyes, and a floor-length off-white nun nightdress.
I squeaked. This couldn't be a joke, could it? It was too elaborate! That could only mean that I was really in Middle Earth!

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" I screeched, ecstatically to the mirror. "I AM IN LOTHLORIEN?"

"Yes. You've lived here for the past 2,900 years, give or take a few decades," someone muttered matter-of-factly.

I whirled around. Standing over Haldir's body was a long-legged seal bay thoroughbred with big brown eyes, a thick scruffy mane, and a disdainful look (If a horse could be disdainful).

"Hunter! I'm so happy to see you!" I cried, throwing my arms around him.

"Hey! Hugs are drugs, and loving contact makes me ill!" My old friend snorted a puff of smoke out of his nostrils. "What's the deal with this nancer? Can I eat him?"

"No! Haldir is my fourth-favorite person in Lord of the Rings!" I scolded, letting go of him.

Haldir groaned, rubbing his head. "Hblgdrrrrrrrr…."

"How hard did you hit him?" Hunter asked, poking at his leg.

"Not too hard," I muttered, feeling a bit smug that my blow had left someone so stunned.

Haldir opened his eyes and smiled. It was the creepiest smile I had ever seen, and believe you me, I had seen my share of creepy smiles.

"I love smiling," he sang. "Smiling's my favorite!"

"Errr…" was my intelligent and witty answer.

Hunter jumped away as though Haldir had poked him with a big, pointy stick. "I think you knocked his brains loose!"

Haldir shook his head. "Hunter, what are you doing inside again? I told you not to let your pets inside the house!"

"Pet? Pet? I am no pet! I am a companion, by my own free will! I-"

"Does that mean you love me?" I interrupted, smirking sarcastically.

Hunter's withering glare shifted from Haldir to me, and back to Haldir. "Fine. I'm her pet."

"I love you too, big guy," I grinned.

"We need to go. I got all of Lothlorien's most eligible bachelors together and gave them enough wine to make them forget that you are that Mirkwood prince's girlfriend." Haldir gave us that creepy smile again. "Happy birthday, sister!"

"Birthday?" Sister? Girlfriend? "Why would you want to make them to forget that?"

"Yes. Your 2,789th birthday. Did you forget?" Haldir got to his feet. "If you got a crush on one of the Lorien woods, like you were supposed to, then you could dump the pansy prince, and… Are you buying this?"

I shook my head, raising an eyebrow.

"I forgot to get you a present." He hung his head.

"I appreciate the thought you put into giving to people you care about."

"You didn't tell me it was your birthday! I would have made you some nice, crispy faces tied to balloons! There's nothing more festive than an elf and her pet munching on two perfectly cooked faces," Hunter nickered.

"Eheh… It's the thought that counts," I muttered. "Don't worry about it."

"Come on, Mithrellas! I went through a lot of effort to get people to agree to be in the same room as you and Hunter! If we're late, they might leave!" Haldir whined.

"Ok, ok! Jeez!" Did he have to make it sound like Hunter was an infectious disease that would kill them if they came in social contact with it? Was he that bad?

Suddenly, Hunter blew a jet of fire at the window. It shattered, causing a small explosion of glass shards to rain down onto some poor elf who was walking past, whistling innocently.

"There was a ladybug on the window. I had absolutely no idea that there was someone out there!" He smirked.

Ok, so he was that bad. "Yes, of course. And while we're telling the truth, I just came from an alternate universe where horses don't talk and this world comes from a movie," I shot back.

Haldir gave me an odd look, and I heard the elf outside mumble something about demon horse and his crazy mistress.

"Ahem… Let's go already!" My apparent brother tried to lead me out of my room, but I refused to budge.

"Um, hello! I'm still wearing my PJs," I hissed.

"Mithrellas, you're wearing your nightclothes! You can't go prancing around in those!" Haldir scolded.

"Didn't I just say that?"

"Did you? I wasn't listening to anything you said after Hunter broke the window."

Rolling my eyes, I shut the door in his face, and then opened the wooden closet in the corner. A plethora of gowns were hanging there, all organized by color, so they made a rainbow of silky material. I had never really worn anything like these; they were much more elaborate than the green and gold one I wore at home was about a thousand times less complicated than the ones in the closet. I selected a leafy green gown, grimacing at all the laces and latches (How's that for alliteration?... not very impressive, I guess).

"Hunter, how would you like to help me with this?" I asked, hoping my horse was more familiar with the art of dressing than I was.

Hunter raised an eyebrow (Yes, I know horses don't have eyebrows). "You stick your front hooves through the sleeves, and your back hooves go into the skirt part."

"Gee, thanks for your advice. I don't think I could have figured that out on my own," I muttered.

Shaking my head, I wrestled with the dress until I had it more or less how it was supposed to be. My ever-supportive steed watched my struggle with amusement, occasionally making snarky comments and scoffing at my troubles.

Once it was as good as I could make it, I looked in front of the mirror, expecting my hair to be standing out in a mess of static, but it looked as soft as if I had just brushed it.

That was when I officially started to love being an elf.

Haldir was outside, leaning against a tree with a bored look on his face.

"Gosh, Haldir, what took you so long? I was waiting for you for ages," I complained loudly as I breezed past him. His face turned a funny shade of purple.

"You were waiting for me?" he spluttered.

"Really, it's bad manners to keep a lady waiting."

"Wha-"

"I thought you were going to force me into social interaction! I can't believe I shaved my legs for this!" The phrase popped out of my mouth before I realized what it was.

Haldir shut his mouth and gave me that look that all guys get when women talk about shaving, bras, or anything like that. The socially awkward penguin waddled around in circles around us, which he ignored.

"THIS is why nobody likes you but that pompous Mirkwood prince and your crazy horse!"

"Aww, I love you too, big brother." I gave him my biggest, brightest smile.

He rolled his eyes. "Let's just get this over with before the wine wears off."

So, three hours later, Haldir, twelve other guys, and I were playing Truth or Dare. It was pretty disturbing, especially when I dared Saeros to spend the rest of the day in a pink cheetah-print dress.

After the last elf passed out from alcohol consumption, we started off for home… or rather, I dragged a barely coherent Haldir along with me.

"I like your friends," I started, which everyone knows translates to 'Why do you hang out with those idiots?'

Or at least, all females knew that.

"Like like?" Haldir poked, sounding like a gossipy high school freshman.

"I think you're missing something," Hunter whispered to him, because my sociopath horse was smarter than a 4,000- plus year old elf in these matters.

"Oh, uh… Do you want some pancakes?"

"Yes, Haldir," I snorted in the most sarcastic voice possible. "I would love some pancakes."

"Too bad, because we ran out of flour."

"What a shame."

"Let me give you a hint, buddy. Let it go," Hunter advised.

"I think that might be the best thing to do," Haldir muttered. "It's best not to provoke the insane…"