(I had to re-upload chapter 3 after finding a LOT of spelling errors and whatnot. I'll make sure to be on top of that from now on.)
I do not own Doki Doki Literature Club, nor do I own any of the characters within this story.
As I was walking home, I passed by Natalie's house. None of the lights were on. That's odd, she normally has every light in the house on… I thought. Was she even home? I don't know where she would've even gone without a car since she doesn't drive. I stopped by my house to put my stuff in my room, and changed into more comfortable clothes. I put on joggers and a long sleeve shirt that was little thick, like a sweatshirt without a hood. It was colder outside anyways. I was comfortable, but still looked at least presentable to Natalie.
I walked over to her house, and knocked on her door. I waited a little bit, and knocked again. This time, there was stirring. The door opened, and there was Natalie. She was wearing a pair of red shorts and a gray long sleeve shirt, her usual leisure wear. Her hair was messy as usual, with her bow on top. But something was off… her eyes were red. Was she crying?...
"O-Oh, hey Nick…" She finally said.
"Hey…" I looked her over, then back behind her, into the dark house. "can I come in?" I asked
"Yeah, sure." She says.
I let myself in and flip a light on, taking a seat on her ever-familiar couch in her ever-familiar house. I always liked her house more than mine growing up, it was bigger, and older, but you couldn't tell from just a quick look. I was always envious when I was younger. Natalie gets a can of our favorite soda from the fridge, and offers me one, I gratefully accept.
"So, is everything okay? You left early from the club today. Marissa said you didn't feel good, and I remembered you were home alone for a while so I figured I'd come check up on you." I continued "And when I got here, all of your lights were out."
"Yeah, I'm okay. I just didn't really want to be there today, I wanted to get home and relax. That's why the lights were off, I was just sleeping!…"
I looked her over again, but this time got up from my seat and looked her over up closely.
"W-what're you doing?.." she asked.
"Shh, just hang on." I took my thumb and traced under her eye. It was puffy, and still a little wet. Not wet enough to be able to tell from sight, but wet enough to be able to tell from touch. She had been crying. She locked eyes with me, but quickly glanced away, guiltily smiling a little. She knew she'd been caught.
"Natalie, you've been crying,"
"N-No I haven't!..." She won't look me in the eye.
"Please just tell me what's wrong Nat, you're worrying me…"
"I-I just miss my dad, that's all!"
"You never even knew your dad, Nat."
Her dad died when she was 7 years old, from what I've heard was a motorcycle crash. Natalie never knew him because he was never around. He was a walk out. She's never said a word to him in her life, let alone knew him.
"I-…"
"Look at me."
She turned her gaze towards me finally.
"What's bothering you? Please tell me so I can help you."
"It's just… complicated. Can we talk about it tomorrow? It's kind of late…"
"It's 5:30 Nat."
"U-um…" she trailed off
I gave in. "Alright, look. If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. I'm not going to force you into it. I just remember how much you were there for me in my time of need, and thought I'd return the favor. It's what friends do, right?"
"…friends…" she says quietly
"What?" I ask
"Nothing! I was just thinking… I could watch Friends on Netflix or something to cheer myself up, t-that's all! Hehe."
I don't think she's seen a single episode of Friends in her life.
I have no idea what to even do at this point. She's making this really hard. I wish she would talk to me and not hide it, but if she doesn't want to talk about what's bothering her, I'm not going to force it from her, it may only make things worse.
"Do you have any games? Or do you want something to eat?" I asked
She perked up when I said eat. Typical Natalie.
"I'll take that as a yes?" I chuckled a little.
"…yes please." She says quietly.
I look around in her kitchen. She didn't have a whole lot, but I see she has everything to make grilled cheese, so that's what I go with.
"How's grilled cheese sound?" I ask.
She gasps, starting to seem a little more like herself. "I love grilled cheese!"
"Alright, I'll whip it up for us. Find something good on TV, alright?"
She nods, and I get to work on making dinner for us. I was no chef, but in knew my way around a kitchen. Plus, it was grilled cheese. Who didn't know how to make that? Well, besides Natalie.
After a few minutes, it's all ready. I set her plate down in front of her on a tray she set up so we could watch TV. She thanks me, and has pretty much half of it gone before I even sit down with mine yet.
"Geez Nat, you must've been pretty hungry, huh?"
"Yeah. I haven't eaten since lunch!"
That was normal timing for anybody, but I decide not to tease her about it.
She put on Friends on a random episode. I think she was trying to live up to what she said earlier, but I'm not buying it. We finish up, I take her plate for her, and she thanks me again. I take our dishes over to her sink, and start cleaning her dishes for her. She had a messy lifestyle, her room was always dirty, and if her mom wasn't home to do the dishes they would just pile up. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but I was always the one to clean her room, not her. I didn't mind cleaning them for her though.
"You don't have to do all of that Nick, you already made me dinner!" she said
"It's alright, I don't mind. Plus, it was just grilled cheese, it's no big deal." I say, giving her a smile.
She sits on a stool by the island in the kitchen. She sighs. "You shouldn't worry about me so much Nick…"
"There you go again. Why do you think you're not worth my time? I like spending time with you. Even if it's something as little as this." I held up the plate I was washing off, laughing.
"I just don't want to be a nuisance to you…" she says
"You aren't, I promise." I reassure her.
She was quiet for a while.
"Hey Nick?"
"What's up?"
"Let's just say Ada asks you to walk home with her… would you walk home with her? Or would you still walk home with me?"
What was that? That question kind of caught me of guard. Where did that even come from?
"I wouldn't just ditch you for Ada, silly. I'd at least ask you to come with us, that way I could still get to walk home with you." I hoped I gave her the right answer.
"O-oh. Okay." She said. She was quiet again.
After a while, I finished up the dishes and checked the time. It was nine-o-clock.
I turned around. "It's getting a little lat-" I stopped myself. Natalie was sleeping at her seat.
She looked peaceful, I didn't want to disturb her sleep. I turned off the TV, and dimmed the lights. I walked over and nudged her, she didn't budge. I picked her up and carried her upstairs to her room. I kicked the door open lightly, flicked the light on, and caught glimpse of her room. Messy as always. I set her down on her bed, and covered her up. I figured I'd pick up her room a little for her while I was here. I already did her dishes, I may as well do her room. I quietly picked up her dirty clothes, straightened out her desk, and tied up her trash. Anything I could do to make her life a little easier.
I finished picking up her room, and walked to her door. I took one last look at her. She really did look peaceful, despite the fact she was crying, and refused to tell me what was wrong. She was a really pretty girl. She was just my type actually. I think I looked for Natalie in other girls, but could never find anyone just right, because there was only one Natalie. There's no way she likes me anyways. I turned up her thermostat a little bit (she was always cold), flicked off the light, and shut the door. I went downstairs, and wrote a note to her:
Hey Nat, you fell asleep at your seat while I was doing the dishes, so I took you to bed and straightened out your room for you. I'll see you tomorrow morning!
~Nick
I went back upstairs, got a piece of tape from her desk, and taped it to her little coffee table next to her bed. She really was out like a light.
I shut her door again, and went downstairs. After looking everything over, I went home.
I went upstairs, straight to my room, and got ready for bed.
I really hope Natalie will be okay. Truth be told, I was going to see if she wanted to spend the night at my house, like we used to do when we were kids, so I could be sure that she would be okay. But, she already fell asleep, so I just put her to bed. I'll be sure to check on her tomorrow morning. But, for now, it's time for bed.
I woke up with a pain in my neck, I slept in an awkward position. But, I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock, so I was right on time. I got ready for school.
By time I was ready, I shot Natalie a text.
Are you up and ready to go? Delivered
No response. That wasn't like her. She always responded fast. I didn't think too much of it, but double texted just to be safe.
I'm on my way over. Delivered
I was starting to get nervous. She was crying before I came over last night. And that weird question, what was up with that? I had to get over there.
I went out the door, neglecting to even get my backpack. I was at her door in ten seconds flat. I knocked on the door.
No response.
I waited a minute, and tried again.
"Natalie?" I called out. No answer.
Something was wrong. I could feel it. It's not like she was sleeping and didn't hear me. She was a heavier sleeper, but every time I texted her, it woke her up. It said delivered, her phone wasn't dead.
…
No.
NO.
I started panicking, pounding on the door. "Natalie! Please, open the door!" No response.
She wouldn't do anything stupid, would she? No way, That's not Natalie. This had to be something else, I was just over thinking it. Maybe she was just mad that I cleaned too much for her. That was it.
I ran home to my house. I grabbed my spare key to her house (remember how I said I could let myself in and they'd be okay with it? I literally had a key) and ran back over to her house. I unlocked the door and let myself in
"Natalie?" I yelled. I didn't hear anything back. I ran upstairs. I swear I had to hear something hit the floor upstairs when I opened that door. It had to be my imagination.
I was at her door. It was still closed. I couldn't just open it, could I? What if she was getting changed or something? You don't just open the door to a girl's bedroom unexpectedly.
No. That wasn't it.
I slowly opened the door to be safe, I could see her bed, but not her. "Nat? Wake up, silly." I called out. Nothing.
I opened the door the rest of the way.
"Nata-"
What I saw next, is something that I will never forget, that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
It was Natalie. But, she wasn't her normal self. She was hanging by her neck from a thin frayed rope, dangling from the banister on her ceiling. Her face was pale, and her eyes didn't have that naturally beautiful blue color to them. They were faded. Almost gray. There was the kicked over chair from her desk set below her. She still had the same clothes on from last night.
"OH MY GOD, NATALIE!"
"…n-…"
She was still alive. She started clawing at the rope.
I looked around the room. There was a pair of decently sized scissors on her desk. I grabbed them, and squeezed as hard as I could with those things on the rope. She came down, and I caught her.
We were on the ground. I looked at her, she seemed so lifeless.
"Stay with me, Nat. Please… not you too. I can't lose you. Please don't leave me."
She tries to speak, but can't. She starts gasping for air.
"Shh, everything's okay, breath, you're going to be okay, calm down." I was reassuring her, but I was shaking in the process. I was in tears. Her neck was bruised, and bleeding on the surface where the rope was.
I pulled out my phone, and called the paramedics. Natalie shook her head no, but I wasn't taking no for an answer, she needed medical attention.
I looked back down at her, she was crying. I was crying. I sat her up, and I hugged her. I just sat there and held her. This girl I was holding right now was almost not with me anymore. I held her like it was the last time I'd ever get the chance again.
"W-Why, Natalie?" I barely got out. I ran my hand through her hair. I was so afraid of losing her. "Why didn't you say anything?..." I pushed away to look at her again. I looked her right in the eyes. She reached back out, and pulled herself back into me, crying more into my shirt. I held her again, running my hand down her hair and onto her back. I pulled what was left of the rope from around her neck.
By that time, the paramedics were here. There was a man and a woman. They came right in and found us upstairs. I realized I had left the front door open. Natalie grabbed my left arm. She was shaking her head. She didn't want to go with them on the stretcher, that was obvious. But she had to.
"You're not getting through this without medical attention. You have to. I'll be with you, I won't leave. I promise." I assured her.
They put her up on the stretcher, and supported her head.
I followed them out to the ambulance. They let me ride in the back with them and Nat.
We started heading towards the hospital. When I woke up this morning, I didn't think I'd be in the back of an ambulance, let alone because of Natalie. She reached towards me, and caught my attention. She was holding out her hand. I took ahold of it, and held it there. I made sure she knew I was there with her, and she wouldn't be combating this alone. Her hand was soft, but scratched a little on the finger tips from prying at the rope when I found her. I felt so terrible for her.
My mind was racing through everything that had happened this morning. What, the hell, was going on? I knew she was upset about something. I tried to get it out of her, I tried to help her, but she refused to tell me. I didn't think it was that serious… but…
Suicide? The word echoed in my head…
In what felt like forever, we made it to the hospital. She was taken to the emergency room. I waited outside for her. I realized the girls from the literature club would probably be worried about where we were. I texted the group chat.
Hey everyone, sorry to be so frank, but something serious came up today. Natalie and I won't be at school, as you've probably already seen, and we won't be at the club today. I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
I shoved my phone back into my pocket. I didn't have time to focus on that. The only thing on my mind was Natalie.
After some time, a doctor came out and asked if I was the one who came with Natalie. I said yes.
"Is she going to be okay?" I asked frantically.
"Yes, she's going to be okay. She wasn't up for long, you found her just in time. Any more time and she could've been done for." He said
"W-Well, what are her injuries, if any?" I asked
"She has some decent bruising and abrasions around her neck, and she's damaged her esophagus somewhat. It'll be a simple recovery; no medicine will be needed other than pain relief that you can buy at any drug store, it'll have to heal on its own. We'd like to keep her here for a night or two just to make sure nothing else is wrong with her. She won't be able to talk for at least a day or two, or at least we advised her to not speak just so her injuries don't worsen for the time being, and she'll need to eat softer foods for about a week or so until her neck is healed. However, she's okay now, and she's ready in room 276B just down the hall whenever you'd like to see her."
That was.. a lot to take in. I realized I'd have to explain what happened to her mom at some point.
"Thank you so much sir, from the bottom of my heart." I shook his hand, he nodded his head, and went off to the next person he was needed for. Those doctors are real life heroes.
I went to room 276B. I knocked on the door and let myself in.
There she was. She was in her hospital bed, in a gown, with some bandages around her neck.
She pointed to a little note on the bulletin board next to her. There were two notes actually. The one I wrote her the night before, and one from the nurse.
We gave the patient and white board to communicate until she's capable of speech again.
I pulled up a chair next to her bed. I sat down and looked at her. She regained color in her face, and the beautiful blue of her eyes were filled in again. I laid my head down in my arms for a minute on the side of the bed. I stood back up, and put arms around her, resting myself on her lightly.
"I'm so happy you're okay… I don't know what I'd do without you… " I say to her.
She puts her arms around me, and I hear her sniffle. She taps my shoulder blade and points to her white board. I get up and get it for her, and hand her the marker as well.
She writes quickly across, and flips it over to me.
I'm so sorry, Nick.
"Don't be sorry. All that matters is you're here with me, you're okay, and you're safe." I respond.
She writes again
I'm sorry you got caught up in this. I just wanted it to be quick.
"What're you talking about? Why did you do all of this? What if I showed up five minutes later?!"
She starts writing something, but erases it and writes something else.
She smiles a little.
This is too much to write, Nick.
I gave a light laugh. It felt nice to laugh, even if it was for a second. "Don't worry about it… but as soon as you're able to talk again, you have a lot of explaining to do. You're gonna talk to me about what's bothering you, and… what drove you to do this…" I say slowly.
Okay…
"Promise me you will."
I promise. She holds out her hand, with her pinky out. I interlace mine with hers.
"Do you care if I stay here with you?"
What about the literature club? And school?
"I'm not going. I already told the girls in the group chat that you and I wouldn't be there today. But I didn't tell them why. Speaking of which, I grabbed your phone on the way out for you, so here." I handed her the phone.
Thank you, Nick, but I don't want you to miss school over me.
"Well, that's not for you to decide. I'm staying."
She gives me a disappointed look, but doesn't fight me over it. She points to the TV.
"You want me to turn it on?"
She nods her head 'yes'.
I turn it on, and hand her the remote. She starts writing again.
Can I ask you something?
"Yeah, what's up?"
I know I said that I didn't want you missing school,
She erases and keeps writing, she ran out of room
But… please don't leave.
My heart skipped a beat. She wanted me to stay here with her. I was internally really happy.
"Of course. I'll stay until it's time for you to leave. I will have to leave at some point to go get my car though."
Okay. Thank you.
"The doctor said you could be out of here in a day or two, so it shouldn't be that long at all. If we're lucky, you could be out of here tomorrow." I smile at her. She smiles back and nods.
After a couple minutes of watching the TV in the corner of the room, I turned to her. "I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm seriously tired… I'm gonna rest my eyes, okay?" She nods 'okay' to me.
I sat back down in the chair I had next to her bed, and folded my arms on the bed next to her and rested my head on them. I had way too much stress this morning, and since everything that had happened, I could use a little few minute nap. Natalie ran her hand through my hair, which felt really nice, just knowing she was here, right next to me. And she was okay. I only just realized what she was doing, running her hand through my hair. Did it make her feel better? She did say she wanted me to stay here. I didn't think anything else of it. I closed my eyes, and got some shut eye.
When I woke up, I woke up to Natalie laying on her side, her neck still supported, facing me. She had her hand on my left arm. She was asleep as well. I rose up slowly, and gently laid her hand down on the covers. I checked the time, I had slept for an hour, but it hadn't felt like it. God, my back is killing me. I thought. I guess the way I was sitting wasn't the best for my posture, but that didn't matter.
One of the nurses came to the door, I waved her in. She gave me a cup of what I hoped was applesauce.
"Yes, it's applesauce. We get that a lot. Whenever she wakes up, see if she'll eat some." She says
"O-Oh, alright. Thank you."
I just sat there for a while, looking at Natalie. I can't believe this beautiful girl laying in front of me, was almost taken from me. I laid my head back down beside her, but I wasn't about to go to sleep. I put her hand back where it was.
A few more minutes pass, and she wakes up, meeting my gaze, and she starts to move her hand away from my arm.
"It's alright, you can leave it there if that's what you want." I assure her. She puts it back and squeezes it a little. "The nurse came in and gave me a cup of applesauce. Do you want to try and eat a little?"
She grabs the whiteboard, sits up, and starts writing.
I'm actually not that hungry. But I'll try to eat just to see where my boundaries are.
She just barely fit that on the little whiteboard. She grabs the cup and spoon, and eats a little. She winces slightly on the first swallow, but is able to get most of the cup down.
"Hey, good job! That's a good sign." I smile at her and put my hand on her shoulder. She smiles back.
She starts writing.
It actually didn't really hurt. Just the first one.
She erases it, and writes something else.
I probably couldn't eat very solid food, but I'm actually feeling okay to eat.
"I'm glad, Nat." I say to her.
I was silent for a bit, before she wrote something else.
Can you find me a paper and pen?
"What for?"
What I need to write next is too long.
"Oh, yeah, sure." I said.
I found some printer paper next to the gloves, and I just took a pencil that was on the bottom of the bulletin board. Natalie mouthed, 'one sec' to me. I nodded, and she started writing. After a while, she finished and showed me the paper.
Could you… spend the night here with me if they let you? Because if they allow you, you may want to head home and shower up and change into some more comfortable clothes or something. Not that you smell or anything, you actually smell nice, hehe. But since you're going through so much for me, I'd like you to at least be comfortable.
She… wants me to spend the night here with her? I couldn't believe what I was reading.
"I'd love to Natalie, that's a great idea, because then I can get my car so I can take you straight home from the hospital and we won't have to walk. Well… you won't have to walk." I smile at her again.
I'm sorry…
"Don't be. It's okay. I'm not worried about the walk. I'm more worried about you. Are you gonna be okay while I'm gone? It's at least an hour walk, and on top of that a shower, and then a drive back."
She gives me a worried look, but shakes her head and starts writing on her whiteboard again.
I'll be okay. Just don't take too long, okay?
"Okay."
I'll talk to the nurse about you spending the night.
She flips the board around, writes, and flips it back around.
Well, write to the nurse, hehe.
"Sounds like a plan. I'll head on home. I'll be back as soon as possible."
I walk over to the door, turn around, and give her a wave out. She waves back, and smiles. I really feel bad about her not being able to speak. It hasn't been that long, but I miss hearing her voice.
I started jogging home. I figured it'd be a good way to at least get a little workout in.
I actually got home in about forty-five minutes. I jogged most of the way, with little breaks in between to catch my breath. I went inside, and went through my clothes. What looked acceptable, but could be slept in comfortably? I picked out my favorite black joggers, and a dark gray tee. A tee? I don't want to worry Nat about that. I thought. I guess now would be an appropriate time to explain that one as well.
Remember when I said I had a little bit of self-harm issues when my parents first passed? Well, my left arm was the main target. I didn't like the pain, but it just distracted me from the elephant in the room at the time, or lack thereof. It left a few noticeable scars, all the way up to my bicep above my elbow. I can't explain why, but they can be kind of sensitive. Like, if I run my finger over it, it doesn't really hurt, it just tickles more than it should. But it can hurt if too much pressure is applied. They're all horizontal in relation to my arm, getting more and more noticeable the further up my arm you go.
The reason I flinch at a lot of stuff is because my friends, or rather the people that were my friends, kinda used to abuse me about it. I'm not going to go into much detail, but basically they thought it was funny to see me flinch whenever they raised a hand at me and acted like they were going to hit me, or my arm. Sometimes they actually would do it just for the hell of it. Some friends, right? I opened up to them about my arm, and they only made fun of me for it. Instead of getting support for my issue, I got bullied for it. So, I don't like to wear short sleeves, because I don't want anyone else finding out about it. Either someone will hurt me again, or I will worry somebody, and I don't want either of those things.
Another reason is because of my parents. Believe me, I love them to death, but I was sort of a punching bag in my family. Whether one of them needed to let off some steam, or they were drinking or anything of the sort. They loved me, but everyone has their problems and demons I suppose. I just kind of grew accustomed to it I guess… I'm not going to explain any more of it.
Screw it, it was still cooler outside. I'll wear the tee, and wear a comfy zip-up on top. I'll even bring a pull-over for Natalie. She may need something to keep her warm, considering she's always cold.
I get my clothes together, and take a brisk shower. I get dressed, brush my teeth in case my breath smelled bad, do my hair, and grab up all my stuff. I pack away a water bottle, a brush, the extra sweatshirt, my wallet, and a phone charger for Natalie in a drawstring bag. I grab my keys and head out the door.
I hopped in my car, and begin the drive back over to the hospital. It was four-thirty. The girls were probably finishing up their poem sharing right now. I still needed to do that. I was going to do it during study hall so Natalie could help me out, but that plan sure as hell changed. This whole thing was going to be hard to explain to all of them.
I got back to the hospital faster than I expected, which was a really good thing actually. The sooner I got to see Natalie, the better. I headed inside, and went to the corridor that Natalie's room was in. 276B. I made it back, Nat. I knocked on the door, and let myself in. She was in her obvious spot, on the bed, but she was on her side, facing away from the door.
"Natalie? I'm back."
She sat up and looked over at me, wiping away tears.
"Woah woah, is everything alright?" I set my stuff down and walked over to her.
She looked at me and hugged me around my abdomen, burying her face into my jacket.
"Hey," I said gently, "What's wrong?" I hugged her back, rubbing her back lightly.
I let go of her and wiped her eye for her, handing her the little whiteboard.
I just tried to sleep, but there was nothing but nightmares.
"Aw, I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"
She gave me a sarcastic look, then pointed to her bandages.
"Oh… yeah. Sorry about that…"
She began to write again.
Nick, I don't want to be alone again. That's when it's the worst.
I felt terrible. I knew I shouldn't have left. She was starting to open up about this to me finally, so I didn't try to question what she told me, I just comforted her.
"I'm sorry, Nat. Do you need me to get a nurse to supervise you or anything?"
She wrote faster than normal this time, and quickly flips the board around, erasing what she wrote after she shows me.
No…
I need you Nick…
I feel better when you're around
I don't want you to leave
I-I couldn't believe what she was telling me. She… needed me? I mean, obviously (and technically) she did need me. Despite the situation, I was overjoyed. I didn't question her. I smiled at her after the last board, and she looked away, seemingly blushing. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but technically I did save her. I figured I'd open up to her a little too.
"Well… I need you too Nat. Why do you think I was freaking out so bad today? I like you a lot Nat. I couldn't be happy without you around, I don't know what I would do. But, don't worry. I won't leave anymore. I'm sorry I did, I knew I shouldn't have." I told her.
She sat there, taking in what I told her, then started to write again.
Don't be sorry! I encouraged you to go, it was my fault.
"It wasn't anybody's fault. It was something that needed to happen. But now it's done and over with, and we don't have to worry about it anymore, right?"
She nods her head yes.
I figured this would be a good time to get my stuff out. I pulled out my pull-over.
"Hey, I forgot to mention. I wore this jacket so I'd be more comfortable, so I brought you one of my hoodies too, so you had something to keep you warm. Other than the covers, that is."
She holds out her hands, and I toss it to her. She happily accepts it, but gets a kind of embarrassed expression. She pulls over the whiteboard and begins writing once again.
She shows it to me
There's one problem…
"What's that?" I ask
I can't use the pull-over… Because of my neck…
"Oh, well here, I'll give you my zip-up and I'll take the pull-over." I start to take off my jacket, and hand her it while I take the hoodie from her and slip it on.
She immediately starts writing something on the board, a little fast, and messier than her normal neat, type-writer-like norm.
What was on your arm?