Title: Mission Impossible
Chapter: Two
Characters/Pairings: DG/Cain, Az/Zero
Spoilers/Warning: PG-13... so far
Summary: AU. When DG and Az are abducted by a terrorist organization, it's Cain Private Investigations to the rescue.
Disclaimer: Tin Man and all its characters belong to Sci-Fi, RHI Entertainment, NBC Universal Television. The Wizard of Oz is the property of L. Frank Baum. I'm just doing a bit of borrowing.
Author's Note: In which they locate Merryville and Zero 'interrogates' a barmaid.

"It's hot."

"Shut up Zero," Cain mumbled.

"But it's hot, Cain," Zero shouted, his nose scrunched in a pout. He let his head loll from side to side as Blitz's hooves sank into the deep sand. "I'm-" Zero's mouth snapped shut when Cain turned and pulled his gun on him in one fluid motion. The younger man glared at his partner and pouted, "You're an asshole."

"No," Cain spat, "you're an asshole. Now shut up so I can think."

Cain let out a frustrated sigh and turned forward in his saddle. Usually, travelers could easily traverse the whole desert in less than six hours. Cain and Zero, however, had run into a sand storm about halfway through and three hours later were still trying to find their bearings.

And it's not like the sandstorm had been the only obstacle they'd run into since they'd started their journey two days before. Oh no. The night before their campsite had been attacked by rebel munchkins. Not that they'd had a chance to do any damage. No, the damage came after the munchkins had been gagged and tied to a tree. In fact, the damage actually came when Cain had bent over to interrogate the shortest of the munchkins and wound up throwing his back out. Zero had laughed so hard he cried.

"Cain!"

"Zero, if you don't stop whining I'm going to-"

"No, look."

Cain turned in the direction Zero was pointing and sighed in relief when he caught sight of the tree line. To be honest, he was starting to think he was going to die in the middle of the damned desert with Zero of all people.

"You were saying?" Zero sneered as he spurred Blitz to a slow trot.

Cain gritted his teeth and urged Esme to keep up with Blitz. After a few minutes they broke free of the gritty sand and rode silently into lightly wooded area.

"You think this is Merryland?" Zero asked, swiveling his head from side to side to get a good look at his surroundings.

"It seems familiar," Cain said slowly. He'd been to Merryland once with his father when he was a child. After he'd used his slingshot to shoot the rump of the horse his father's most important client was riding, successfully throwing the man off, he hadn't been invited on anymore business trips. "We don't have these types of trees in the O.Z."

"Maybe we should find a city or town?" Zero suggested. "At least then we can figure out where we are."

"Good idea," Cain agreed and dug his heels into Esme's side.

They rode in silence (thank Ozma, Cain thought) until they entered a small town about a half-hour east of where they'd come out of the desert. It was obvious from the moment they spotted it that the town was abandoned. Cain frowned and kept his eyes peeled as they rode through the center of town and finally came to a stop outside of what had been the local pub.

He swung down from Esme and cautiously pushed the rotting doors to the pub open, his hand on his revolver, but the pub was just as empty as the street they'd just ridden down. From the looks of it, however, whoever had been here had left in quite a hurry. Tables were overturned, glasses lay shattered on the floor, and the distinct metallic scent of blood hung in the air. Cain didn't like it one bit.

Zero, on the other hand, happily hopped over the bar and grabbed two bottles of whiskey off the shelf. He stuffed one into the waistband of his cargo pants and uncorked the other. "You want?"

Cain shook his head.

Zero shrugged and threw back a long swig.

While Zero acquainted himself with the bottle of whiskey, Cain walked around the perimeter of the room trying to find some clue as to where they were. After a few moments he found an abandoned newspaper and held it up for Zero to see.

"It's dated three weeks ago," Cain said, skimming the front page. "But it's the Merryville Chronicle."

"Hey," Zero grinned, "we're in the right country."

Cain grunted and crinkled the paper in his hands. He looked up at Zero and nodded. "Well, let's get moving. We've got a long way to go and not much time to get there."

Zero rolled his eyes. He hated when Cain tried to be clever.

Once in Merryville's capitol, it didn't take long for Cain and Zero to find an inn for the next two nights and after they'd taken a quick nap (Zero was not happy to be sleeping on the floor) they began to formulate a plan. First and foremost, they needed to find out where the Organization for Animal Liberation (OFAL) had set up their base of operations.

"It can't be too far out of town," Zero observed as the bartender slid two large, frosty mugs of beer across the counter. Zero caught them both on reflex. He eyed each mug, trying to find out which held less and then passed it to Cain. "For an organization to be that large and successful they can't be based too far from an industrious city."

"You're right." Cain nodded and took a sip from his mug. "From what I gather, most of the members are only volunteers."

"That means they need to make money outside the organization." Zero caught sight of an attractive blonde barmaid and smiled at her lazily. "And if they're making it, they're spending it."

"You think we should just ask around?" Cain asked. It wasn't such a bad idea really. If anyone knew where OFAL's headquarters were located, it would be the locals. Hell, they might even get lucky and run into an actual member.

Zero shrugged. "Do you have a better idea?"

Twenty minutes later, Zero had somehow managed to sweet talk the barmaid into spilling absolutely everything she knew about OFAL. Turns out they'd hit the jackpot with her, as she was the daughter of OFAL's second in command. Apparently OFAL had branched out from trying to save the planet's furry friends and were now in it for their own species. Political power had become the name of the game and the princesses were their ace in the hole.

"They won't kill both of them," the barmaid had giggled, mesmerized by the look of adoration Zero was throwing at her. "Then they would have two dead princesses and be no better off."

"You think they'll kill one to show they're serious and hold the other until her parents give into their demands?" Cain asked, earning a small look of annoyance from the barmaid.

"So where is this place located?" Zero asked and lightly dragged the barmaid's chin back in his direction with his index finger. He smiled and raised his eyebrows, prompting her.

She looked slightly suspicious now. "Why do you want to know so much about OFAL?"

"We're interested in joining." Zero cocked his head and let his gaze dip from her eyes to her cleavage and back again. "Really interested in joining."

"You're just getting in?" Cain asked testily the following morning as Zero slipped into their small room.

Zero shrugged and shut the door. "I wanted to sleep in a bed."

"Oh, right," Cain scoffed. "I'm sure you were sleeping in that girl's bed."

"There was some sleeping involved," Zero said, smirking. "Among other things."

Cain rolled his eyes. "Did you at least get OFAL's location out of her?"

"It's about ten miles east of here," Zero explained with a nod. "She said it's surrounded on three sides by a dense forest, with the back facing out over a deep cliff. Apparently, it used to house a small sector of Merryville's army reserves but OFAL bought it from the Merryville government four years ago. It's a tight compound with a central command center and several smaller buildings used for storage and barracks."

"Several?" Cain asked curiously. "How many is several?"

"She didn't say," Zero told him. "But I don't think we'll have too much trouble locating the princesses."

"And why is that?"

"There's a small cluster of cells located in the basement of the command center." Zero pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Cain. "I dug that out of her dresser."

"Zero," Cain chuckled as he peered down at the blueprints he'd been handed, "if I didn't know what that ugly mug of yours was getting up to last night, I'd kiss you. Come on. Let's get going."

"I've got a question," Zero said a few minutes later as they were repacking their rucksacks. "Why are evil hideouts always on the side of cliffs?"

"What?"

"Evil hideouts are always on the side of cliffs," Zero reiterated with a scowl. "I mean, really? Where's the creativity in that? Their lack of imagination astounds me."

He knew he would regret it, but Cain couldn't help himself from blurting out, "And what would you suggest as an alternative?"

Zero contemplated the question for a moment before responding, his expression serious, with, "A massive Tower of Doom."

Yep, Cain thought as Zero launched into his Tower of Doom theory, should have kept my mouth shut.