A/N: Thank you so much for all of the wonderful reviews so far, they really do make all the difference to my motivation to continue writing. I hope you keep on enjoying this story. I tried a different font this time, please let me know which you find easier to read.

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As Olivia opened the door to her apartment, she had begun to wish that she had accepted Elliot's offer of coming up for a drink. The place seemed vast and empty to her as she dumped her jacket and gun holster unceremoniously on the arm of her sofa and headed to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water. It was only as she reached over the faucet that she noticed her reflection in the window; she was still covered in blood. Whether it was hers, Kathy's or the baby's she wasn't sure. It was her only physical reminder of the ordeal she had gone through that day and she placed the glass down on the drainer. She needed a hot shower and to burn the clothes she was wearing. Turning on the steaming water she removed her clothes, threw them into the garbage basket in her bathroom and stepped under the steaming water hoping that it would wash away more than the blood.

Elliot was her partner and she wasn't supposed to be feeling like this. She had saved the life of his wife and child today and yet there was a small, horrid part of her that hated herself for it. A part of her that would quite rightly have her soul banished to Hell, if she, like her partner, believed in such things. She wasn't sure when she'd gotten herself into this emotional mess. He'd been married for as long as she'd known him, he'd always been spoken for, not to mention the fact that he was her partner; in the eyes of the NYPD anything other than friendship between them would be a crime. Still, somewhere during the past few months she had allowed herself to let her guard down and bam! She'd had her first revelation when she had returned to find him with another partner. At that, a beautiful, young, female partner with whom he seemed extremely comfortable. The fact that he was newly separated wasn't lost on her. Had he begun dating? Olivia didn't know the answer. Then, as soon as she had returned she discovered that his wife was pregnant and the two had reunited. So much for a missed opportuni-

STOP IT! she berated herself, pounding the tiled wall with her fist in the hope that the sudden pain would make her thoughts disappear. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It wasn't supposed to happen at all! She was determined that whatever feelings she didn't have for her partner would remain her secret forever. She would accept that he was a no-go area and be content with the knowledge that he was happily married with a beautiful family. Olivia closed her eyes and was immediately assaulted with the memory of their embrace in the hallway; she would swear under oath that she could still smell the scent of his cologne. Her eyes snapped open and she sunk down the wall onto the shower floor, allowing the steaming water to cascade over her as she wrapped her arms around her legs and buried her face in her knees.

Now if only her heart would follow her head, she might just have a fighting chance.

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Elliot knocked on the door of Cragen's office and waited for a response before inching the door open.

"Captain, could I have a minute?" Cragen motioned to the chairs in front of his desk.

"Come in, take a seat, what can I do for you, Detective?"

Stabler took a seat awkwardly.

"Thank you, Sir. I, um, just thought I should let you know that Kathy and I have decided to stay divorced."

Cragen, who hadn't been expecting the news, furrowed his brow in question.

"Oh? I'm sorry to hear that, Elliot," he said the words but his tone lacked conviction which didn't go unnoticed by Stabler.

"The marriage has been over for a while now, we just let... circumstances cloud our judgement. It's for the best. In light of what you said at the hospital yesterday, I thought I owed it to you to inform you of our decision, Sir."

"In light of what I said, Detective?" Cragen asked, slightly puzzled as to why he had felt the need to explain himself to his Captain. He didn't remember saying anything about Elliot's marriage.

"Yes, Sir. About not screwing things up again."

The light suddenly dawned on Cragen; in his attempt to be discreet, his Detective had completely gotten the wrong idea. He wasn't exactly sure how to explain himself so he chose to be as direct as his position allowed him to be.

"I wasn't talking about your family, Detective." Stabler looked as though he was about to ask another question, most likely one that Cragen couldn't answer, "If that's all, I have a lot of paperwork to finish."

Puzzled not only at the abruptness with which Cragen had ended the conversation but the cryptic answer he had given, Stabler stood, frowned and left hurriedly. As he walked down the corridor, he thought back to the previous day's conversation:

"I daresay you owe your family to her, Stabler. Just do me a favour? Don't screw it up this time!"

Screw what up? Elliot went over and over the statement and could only come up with one conclusion; his partnership with Liv. He shook his head; Cragen would never have made such a public reference to the complicated relationship that existed between himself and Olivia, would he? It would explain his vagueness and his reluctance to explain himself further. Perhaps he was over-analysing. For the moment, Elliot let it drop. He had bigger fish to fry; breaking the news to Olivia.