A/N: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and all song lyrics belong to Breaking Benjamin.
This will be a Draco/Harry pairing, but it will be slow coming.
Suggested self-harm and abuse.
Thoughts
Letters and books
After a long night of worrying over the possible location of his journal, Harry sat up and ran a hand through his hair. Sighing heavily, he made his way to the bathroom to get ready for the day. Looking in the mirror, he saw that he had dark circles around his eyes from being up all night. Grabbing his wand, Harry muttered, "finite incantatum" and watched as his glamour fell away. Looking at himself once more in the mirror, he saw scars littered across his body. Most of the scars were from Uncle Vernon's "care", but several were the signs of his own weakness. Those were the ones that he hated the most.
Hearing the sounds indicating the others were waking up, Harry hurried and recast his glamour and started to get ready for the day.
Going down for breakfast by himself, Harry looked at the people around him to see if they looked at him any differently. He had no idea if one of them had his journal. Nobody treated him any differently, and people definitely would if they saw what was in that book.
From his spot at the Slytherin table, Draco watched as Potter glanced at those around him. He's probably wondering if one of them has his book. Smirking to himself, Draco loaded up his plate as he thought about his own cleverness.
Throughout the day, Harry hadn't noticed anyone acting any differently toward him and it had him worried. What if it was a teacher that found it? What if I left it on the train? Sitting on his bed that night, he wondered what that hell had happened to his journal.
After a long, boring day of classes, Draco lay on his bed. Getting comfortable, he unlocked the drawer on his bedside table and grabbed the journal. After casting a silencing spell around his bed, Draco opened the book and turned to the spot he was at.
July 11, 1995
This is the first chance I've had to write in a few days, and I didn't know how much I'd miss it. I guess it's okay to get some stuff out so I don't have to dwell on it anymore. I've had less nightmares about Cedric after talking about what happened in here. That doesn't stop Uncle Vernon though. He just keeps getting worse. I'm doing the best I can to keep infections away with a bottle of water I have hidden under the loose floorboard under my bed. It doesn't always work, but at least I'm not dying of infection by the time I get to school. Ugh, time to make the fat man his dinner.
July 13, 1995
I can't wait to get out of here! I don't know why the hell Dumbledore makes me stay with my caring and loving family. If he actually thinks this is a safe place for me, then he is stupider than Malfoy's goons.
Pausing in his reading for a moment, Draco thought I have goons?
After the kind of day I've had, I don't blame Voldemort for hating muggles. I guess the only thing about his whole mission that I can't stand is the torture and killing of people. What would Dumbledore say if he could see this! His "Golden Boy" isn't so golden! People should have better things to do than make up stupid nicknames for me. Only two years left of this misery!
Wow… Potter sure has some hidden darkness and rage… Draco thought. Looking at the next page, he noticed it was blank like the other one. Touching it, he realized it was exactly like the other one, just with new words and music.
Milk it for all it's worth, make sure you get there first
The apple of your eye, the rotten core inside
We are all prisoners, things couldn't get much worse
I've had it up to here, you know your end is near
You had to have it all, well, have you had enough?
You greedy little bastard, you will get what you deserve
When all is said and done, I will be the one
To leave you in your misery and hate what you've become
Intoxicated eyes no longer live that life
You should have learned by now, I'll burn this whole world down
I need some peace of mind, no fear of what's behind
You think you've won this fight, you've only lost your mind
You had to have it all, well, have you had enough?
You greedy little bastard, you will get what you deserve
When all is said and done, I will be the one
To leave you in your misery and hate what you've become
Hold me down
(I will live again)
Hold me down
(I will break it in)
Hold me down
(No matter in the end)
Hold me down
You had to have it all, well, have you had enough?
You greedy little bastard, you will get what you deserve
When all is said and done, I will be the one
To leave you in your misery and hate what you've become
Heaven help you
Heaven help you
Okay… he definitely has some hidden rage, Draco blinked and re-read the song. It was actually quite good. He probably doesn't like all the manipulation in his life. There is so much more to learn about you Potter.
Putting the journal back in the drawer and re-applying all his security and locking charms, Draco yawned and snuggled down. His last thoughts before sleep overtook him were of how different Potter was than how he appeared.
A/N 2: The song in this chapter is Had Enough by Breaking Benjamin