Wahhhhhhh I'm so, so, so sry it took so long T0T My family keeps giving me all these chores to do and when I did finally find some time to write I wasn't sure on how to write this one part and I kept erasing and rewriting it over and over again it was so confusing.

Also I admit I got a little distracted with looking up and reading other fan fictions and that I actually plain forgot about it altogether for a couple days. T-T Wahhhhh!! I Hate Myself!! DX I'm really, really sry everybody. T~T

Thanx so much for all the wonderful ideas and reviews everybody I'm so grateful. They helped a lot. ^^

Disclaimer: well you know… I never have, never will, Wish I did but I don't, Occasionally pray to the gods that someday I could, but- yadda, yadda, yadda, Ouran's not mine.

Warnings: Lemon, Yaoi, BL, Twincest, don't like it? Don't read it. But if you've been with me so far I don't think I've got anything ta worry 'bout ^^

"Why were you saying my name?"

He felt his brother tense at these words and heard his breathing stop completely. Kaoru felt him grip on the bed sheets before he started breathing again, taking a few heavy shaky breaths at first from his obvious lack of air for almost a minute. "D-damn it." His twin muttered after gaining back control of his lungs; Kaoru barely heard him say it.

Kaoru slowly and awkwardly moved to sit up. He was still shaken up a bit by what happened and felt a little too uncomfortable to keep his back to Hikaru. He hated the fact that he felt he was unable to trust his brother, even for a moment, but he preffered to be able to see Hikaru's face while they talked. Putting his back to the wall he pulled his legs up to him as close as he could without disturbing the now painful thing between them that Hikaru's skillful sleeping hands had caused. He was no longer crying but his face was still beat colored and the tears that had stained his cheeks left his eyes red and puffy.

He chanced a look up at his twin. Hikaru wasn't looking at him. He sat there, gripping the bed sheets with one of his hands and using the other to hold his legs close to him in a position similar to Kaoru's. Kaoru noticed his hands were shaking like crazy. He could see the emotions swirling around Hikaru, anger, sadness, regret, and the one most prominent on his face, which was a mixture of hatred and disgust most likely for himself. It had always been easy to read his twin's emotions, even without the deep connection they shared he'd still be able to read Hikaru like a book and despite the situation he couldn't help but feel bad for his twin brother. Knowing that he was in a way the cause made him feel all the more empathetic.

'I guess… I guess I can't completely blame him… he hadn't even been conscious of what he was doing. And he did say he was sorry.' Kaoru tried to reason with himself.

Seeing Hikaru this way made him want to just wrap his arms around him, to hold him close and comfort him, and tell him everything was fine as though he hadn't done anything wrong, like he usually would've, but he knew he couldn't exactly do that right now. He had never in his entire life thought he would ever see Hikaru like this. He felt like he would do anything to make that expression disappear from that usually happy, carefree face. Seeing Hikaru like this broke his heart and the guilt was beginning to slowly eat away at him. 'Wait, what do I have to feel guilty for, he should be the only one feeling guilty. This is his fault to begin with, not mine!'

After a while Kaoru gave up and sighed, blaming Hikaru wouldn't get rid of the guilt weighing on his heart it would just make it worse. It always hurt him to see Hikaru in pain no matter the reason.

He waved away his thoughts and pressed on with his question since Hikaru still had yet to answer. This time in a much more calmer, gentler tone to hopefully coax him to answer.

"Why… Hikaru?"

He'd managed to get his breathing under control by taking slow calming breaths. He heard his brother, Kaoru, ask him that dreadful question again. He knew he had to answer this time and he wasn't going to lie to his brother. They both hated it whenever one twin lied to the other so when they were little they had made a promise never to lie to each other again. That wasn't to say that he couldn't try to be a little discrete and vague in his answer. Turning his face away in embarrassment and shame he hesitantly answering his brother's question.

"I was… was dreaming… " He paused taking a deep breath and swallowed hard. "about you… about…us."

Kaoru wasn't an idiot. He already knew the subject of what Hikaru must have been dreaming about, apparent by the hard on he had seen hiding behind his legs not to mention felt against him earlier and by now had also pieced together why he kept moaning his name, but he had to ask anyway. He needed to hear Hikaru confirm his thoughts.

"Us? So in your dream, were we… "

"y-yeah…" He nodded slightly, still hiding his expression. Kaoru noticed a hint of red on the others cheek. Hikaru was blushing.

"B-But… this was actually the first time I've had a dream like that though." Finally turning his head around (still blushing) he placed his hand behind his neck in an unconscious attempt to help him calm down and glanced over at Kaoru.

Two pairs of amber eyes met for the first time that night since the incident. Hikaru was surprised by the tenderness those pools reflected back at him, expecting anger or disgust instead.

"I see." Kaoru hastily broke eye contact preferring to look at the soft white sheets in front of him. Although, Hikaru took it the wrong way thinking Kaoru was indeed disgusted with him and instantly dismissed what he had thought he'd seen just moments earlier, but he had failed to notice the faint blush appearing on his brother's face.

Now that the cat was out of the bag, or so to speak, Hikaru decided that he might as well just confess everything. His brother already hated him (or so he thought) so there was nothing more for him to lose. That stupid dream had just screwed everything up. There was nothing as important to him as Kaoru. Kaoru was his life, and now his 'life' hated him.

"It was the first time I had a dream about it," he repeated, "but it's not like I didn't know it would happen… eventually." He added. "A-Actually, I'm kinda surprised I didn't have it sooner." He let out a sad nervous chuckle. "A couple times I'd thought about asking mom or dad about maybe having us get separate rooms, but I never did… even though I knew it would've been better that way."

Kaoru didn't seem to move or react to his brother's words in any way. He just continued to stare at the bed sheets.

Hikaru wrapped his arms around his legs. He could feel the tears welling up inside him getting ready to burst out. "I've known about my feelings for you for a while now and didn't tell you. I was too afraid you'd reject me, shun me, that you'd yell and shout at me and tell me how disgusting you thought I was." He buried his face between his knees to hide his tears and tightened his grip .

Kaoru had released his eyes from the sheet in front of him and was now staring at Hikaru wide eyed, mouth opened slightly to say something but nothing coming out.

"And I am disgusting for thinking about you that way. For wanting you that way. You're my brother, my twin for god's sake; I shouldn't have these damn feelings… " He couldn't say anything more. It was too hard to speak with the overwhelming sadness that was crushing his heart. 'I shouldn't love him like this. I Can't love him like this. Why wont these feelings just go away!?' Hikaru raged on in his head. Tears pouring from his eyes and flowing down his legs. 'It's not like it matters anyway. He doesn't love me the same way I love him. He probably doesn't even love me at all anymore. I wouldn't be surprised. I don't want him to love me. I don't deserve his love. I want him to hate me, be disgusted by me, because that's what I am.'

'I am disgusting.'

As soon as this those words scrolled through his mind again the impact of them hit him full force. It was like getting hit by an eight-wheeler that, some how, left his body intact but managed to crush and pound his heart and soul to dust.

The anguish and torturing in his head continued while he cried, not even realizing he was no longer crying onto himself. A hand threaded through the soft orange locks of his hair and a quiet voice gently cooed for him to stop crying. The warm arm that had pulled him into this embrace lay wrapped around his back stroking his spine comfortingly. His head rested on the other's shoulder still unaware it was there and his hands had instinctually wrapped around the other squeezing their bodies together tighter.

Eventually as his fit died down, he loosened his grip. Having released all of his pent up emotions at once left him feeling exhausted and worn out. It was at this point that he noticed Kaoru's efforts at comforting him and how close they were, but he just plain didn't care anymore. He'd released all of the worries, fears and doubts plaguing him in his tears so instead of pushing his brother away he tightened his grip again and buried his face in the other's neck. "I'm sorry Kaoru. Please don't hate me."

"I could never hate you Hikaru." Kaoru assured.

"I love you." He muttered, lightly kissing the neck in front of him.

"I love you too." Kaoru replied kissing his cheek.

Hikaru then took a bold step in the exhausted emotional state he was in. He lifted his head and lightly kissed his twin's lips.

_______

I cant help but think that this has gone kind of off course from the beginning. Hikaru seems kinda OOC and maybe Kaoru forgave him a little too easily. Oh well *shrugs* what's done is done I guess. :D idk lol

Ok, srsly none of this was planed out all that well and most of it was 'the spur of the moment' kinda stuff near the end so… again, idk I think it just kinda jumps around to much.

Sry to anyone who wanted them to have a fight and then get together later, but that would take way way longer to write. I promise to try and make a story like that sometime in the future though.

I think the next chapter will be the last one.

Lemon Lovers Note: Yes, there will finally be more lemon ^^ again sry it took so long. Ill get to work on the next chp immediately!!

Please Review!! :D

Ja ne ^_~