Chapter 3: Pain

Next day in school, Alice and Edward -the only Cullen's still atending school- missed class. Bella was surprise, me, not so much. All throughout the day, i had that same feeling nagging at my chest. My intuition tended to always be precise, so i knew for a fact that there was something completely wrong about they sudden disappearence act.

When school was over, the Cullen's house was the first place i went. Imagine my surprise went i found almost empty. Carlisle was there, of course, waiting for me. The pain in my chest got worse when i saw the look on his face.

"Carlisle?"

"Cassidy." His voice was neutral, rid of any light. And he said my full name, which is already a warning enough.

"Where is everyone?"

"Left. All of them."

"And, they left you behind?" I ask quietly, fearing the answer more than anything.

"No. I will meet then later on." His eyes has yet to meet mine.

"Where?"

He does not answer. He doesn't even look at me. His eyes are focused on the wall were the giant cross that once belond to his father is hanging.

I knew what this was, i already had been through it before. He was leaving. He was leaving me.

"Carlisle." I sigh, feeling suddenly exhausted of all the ongoing drama.

"You can't go just because of one incident. It will not happen again."

Are you sure about that? The little voice inside my head asked, it has been dormant for a while but now it came back at full force.

He doesn't want you, stupid girl.

Let him go, it's a favor your doing for him.

"I should be happy that it didn't end in murder, is that it?" He half-laughs, but there is no happiness in his voice.

"What happens the next time someone get's hurt? A broken arm, leg. That's nothing right. How about a permanent injury?"

"Accidents happen everywhere. I could fall from my bike and die but that doesn't make me stop riding it." I yell, hysteria filling my mind.

"Accidents happen it's true. But, my family and i are tired of being the cause of it." He looks broken, as if telling me that hurted him more than it hurts me.

"I'm not letting you go." I try a new approach. "I'll follow you whatever you go. I will go home and pack my things..."

His laughter stops my rambling, not because i wasn't expecting it, but because of the cruestly in the tone of his voice. "What makes you think that i want you to?"

I told you so...

"What?"

"Cassidy, i'm tired. Not only of getting you hurt, but of not being able to be myself when i am with you. Do you have any idea how hard it is? Your scent, your fragile body. I have to be in constantly alert to not crush you against me when we simply hug. I'm tired."

Suddenly, the little confidence i had is thrown out of the window and i am left completely terrified and broken. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"We can't be together anymore."

The floor feels like it's going to swallow me and i have to hold myself in the furniture not to fall on my knees. "Why not? I don't get it. You said i was your mate..."

"It doesn't mean that we have to be together. I've met vampires that didn't stayed together even being soulmates."

"You liar."

"It's true. And, also there is another reason..."

"What?" I hold myself, waiting for the worst, waiting for the final blow that i know is going to knock me down in a instant.

"Esme...she decided to give us a chance. We will try to be the couple everyone thinks we are."

My world stopped. My heart crushed. I don't know how long i stayed there, looking at him and hilding my hurting heart, waiting for him to come out and say it was just a joke. He never did.

"You cheating bastard!" Suddenly i was angry, so so angry that i though it was a good idea to punch a vampire in the face.

Hopefully, he moved fast, fast enough to get out of the way and hold my hand light close to his face.

"I'm so sorry a lead you on." And he was looking into my eyes for the first time that day, looking completely honest, what caused me to start a crying fit. "I am very sorry, Cassidy, and i promisse you that after this day, you will never have to see me again. I only ask of you to take care of yourself."

He was gone so fast that my mind almost had a short circuit. I finally let myself fall to my knees and cry all the reprimended tears i had been holding ever since last night.

I told you so. The little voice repeats.

I run outside, looking around, trying to see him, anything that could make this incredible pain in my chest stop, but there was nothing. Not one living soul.

I jump on my bike and ride as fast as humanly possible, not really knowing where to go. I think about La Push, but it was already getting dark and i could stay outside without my lantern.

I went home. It was dark inside, just one light on in the living room. The room, i realised quite suddenly, looked more spacious, it took some time for me to clear my mind enough to realise that the majority of the furniture was missing.

I looked around frantically, trying to understand what was going on. That's when i found the note. It was in the kitchen table, an yellow envelope by it's side.

It was a farewell note. From my dear mother. It didn't say anything more than, that her good-for-nothing boyfriend finally found a job and that said job was in Seattle, which means they moved there. Together. And without me.

Huh, abandoned twice in a day? Your starting a knew record, Cassidy.

I lay down on the floor, curling into a fetal position on the hard ground, feeling for the first time in my live, the greatest ache i've ever felt.

First dad, then my ex, now Carlisle and mom. Honestly, am i really that horrible person that makes everyone want to leave? Have i been such a trouble to everyone i've ever loved? What is it that is so wrong with me?

I told you so...

As i lay down on my kitchen floor, the sun outside starts to set, leaving the kitchen partially cold and dark. I don't move though, i have no strength for that, all i can feel from the top of my head to the tip of my toes is pain. A completely overwhelming pain.

Look what you have become.

Now, you are exactly the way you most feared. Alone in the darkness.

I told you so...