A/N- A long time since I updated and I'm sorry :( I had to figure out a few things before continuing with this story; also since I'm now going to be a Senior I've had trouble with deciding on colleges but enough of that I'm sure you just want to get to the story. Enjoy!
Last chapter-
Right before I had my hand on the door knob Harry spoke up, "Hermione are you sure everything's alright? Your not yourself."
" Of course. Everything is perfect and as it should be." I said and turned to give a convincing smile.
Harry's tense shoulders relaxed at my words as he nodded in agreement. I bid my farewell and left Grimmauld Place.
I couldn't drag Harry into my predicament, when he finally had the opportunity to relax. It was unnecessary, as I knew this problem would be fixed soon. On that happy note, I apparated to St. Mungos Hospital.
A/N -By the way this chapter is a continuation of Hermione's flash back, 3 weeks before the present time just in case some of you had forgotten or were unaware in the first place :D.
I arrived with a pop in St. Mungo's Hospital. Without hesitation I walked through the front door and was hit with a chaotic scene. Healers were rushing behind patients trying to get them back into their rooms while other patients were rushing behind the healers trying to get assisted. At the end of the war there were quite a few cases of people recovering from the Imperius curse after months of being used. Some went back into their lives in a state of 'normalcy,' however some went into a state of shock and required further psychological assistance from healers. As a result the Hospital had its hand full with them and many who remained physically injured from the final battle at Hogwarts.
The more I looked around, the more stares I received from patients and healers. Time seemed to stop at that moment as I became more self conscious under all the stares and then I cursed myself for forgetting the position I was in. It had only been 72 hours since the fall of Voldemort and my status in society had become almost equal to Harry's as I was part of the Golden Trio that had helped save the Wizarding world. I had to handle my situation with care or everyone here and their relatives would know of my problem. News would most likely spread like wild fire and my efforts in keeping this from my friends would be futile.
I sought to look for a familiar face in the crowd as I thought to myself, 'There must be someone here I can trust.' There were only a select few who knew what I had done to my parents in the first place. The Weasley's, Harry, and the rest of the Order were informed of my predicament naturally, but even telling them was hard enough. I couldn't imagine filling in someone new with my secrets.
Suddenly I felt someone tap my shoulder, and as I turned relief washed over me.
"Neville! I'm glad to see you," I let out a breath, "What are you doing here? Oh, wait scratch that I really need your help with something. Is there somewhere less crowded where we could talk?" I said as I took a furtive glance at the crowd that started forming around us.
"Right." Neville understood as he too had become uncomfortable with the attention.
Soon he led me through the chaos toward the Healer's break room that had remained vacant since the final battle, Neville explained. On the way there he brought across the reason he was there.
" Well since the battle I've stayed here trying to help the Healers. Madame Pomfrey personally chose me to assist her with the garden behind the hospital as many of the herbs there contain healing components of all kinds. One specific herb that's been quite useful so far has helped many of the imperiused patients regain the memories they've lost… if they wish to do so." He said with a pained expression.
After hearing more details concerning his duties in the hospital we arrived to the break room. Before even asking, Neville had already raised his wand to lock the door and casted the muffliato spell.
"Sorry, just a precaution…you know." He said nodding toward the door.
I guess he too was still running on his nerves from the War. I still don't know how much time would have to pass before we all started understanding the meaning of the word safe.
A silent understanding passed between us before he broke my thoughts and said, "So Hermione," Neville paused, "I know this has to be important since you, Ron, and Harry refused to be admitted to the hospital after the battle."
It was true, but we really didn't need to be treated for anything other than a few cuts and malnutrition. These were things that could be fixed in the privacy of our own homes, and actually it was preferred that way. Ron had his mother at the Burrow to fill him up with the foods he had missed for the past few months and Harry had the option of being served by Kreacher at Grimmauld place.
'Ugh home. I still didn't have one.' The thought almost brought tears to my eyes, but it also set my thoughts back on the task I needed to do. Luckily Neville was part of the order and was aware of the spell I had cast on my parents at the start of the War. This would definitely move things exponentially faster.
"Neville…" My voice shook but I was determined to fix things as quickly as possible.
Once I had recounted my trip to Australia, back to Grimmauld, and then the hospital my throat felt raw from speaking.
By the end of it Neville understood my sense of urgency.
"Accio memory loss records." Neville said as he swished his wand toward the corner of the room where a shelf of assorted books was located.
Once he held the book in his possession he eyed me carefully as he said, " Now Hermione it's difficult to tell you this, so I rather show you what I've learned about memory charms. These are recent records kept on patients who have lost their memories. A healer felt it necessary to research the differences between those who were able to regain their memories with the counter spell…and those who weren't."
Not only was Nevilles uneasy stare making me uncomfortable, but also his words.
'If he knew why my spell didn't work, why wasn't he telling me?'
I quickly snatched the book out of his hand and opened it to see the numerous records.
I was completely distracted with the book that I barely heard Neville say; "I'll leave you to it then. I'll be in the Cafeteria. As soon as you're done you can come find me if you wish to talk."
I nodded my head, as my eyes never left the book. Once I heard the door close I quickly tried to see what Neville knew that I didn't. I hated being left in the dark! Couldn't Neville just plainly tell me what I didn't know about the memory charms? Unless… the answer he would have given me wasn't the one I was looking for. If that were the case I would have demanded to see all the sources he had acquired his information from. He knew me well enough and made the right decision in just giving me all the information available.
30 minutes had passed and I still couldn't see the difference between the two groups of patients. Some memory charms were broken right away, while others took months, but why? Soon I began to see the trend and my heart sank.
The reaction of the counter curse was instantaneous for Pure Bloods. Between Half-Bloods the reaction varied for every Witch/Wizard depending on which side of the family they received their magical genes from. Reactions of the counter curse worked better if the Witch/Wizard received their genes from their mother's side rather than their fathers. Only a small amount of Half-Bloods didn't regain their memories and in all those cases the magical side resided in the father's side of the family. As for Muggle-Borns…only a small percentage regained their memory, almost next to none.
Now Muggles…I could see where this was going, but I had to finish the book to be absolutely sure my answer was consistent. When I went through to the second to last page of the book my fears were answered. That was the last document shown before the last page where it summarized everything I had just found out for myself. There was no reported case of any muggle regaining their memories.
My mind was in a frenzy as my heart sank. So many emotions passed through my body but the strongest one that was left lingering… was anger.
'Why had they let me do it? I told everyone what I was planning before I committed this irreversible act. Someone must have known! Mcganagall and the other Order members assured my actions were safe. Someone could have stopped me! How could this information be brought to my attention now! Why didn't I look further into this?'
I quickly looked back at the last page of records and saw the date they had all been collected. 2 months ago. I looked more closely and realized that the binding was practically new. They had barely begun researching this issue months ago.
' Something as trivial as blood was the cause and no one had dared to try researching this until now?' I stood up from my seat and balled my hands into fist, 'Someone would have to be held responsible!' I thought to myself, 'I can't accept my predicament to be merely bad luck. Maybe the Healer! Yes…but…' and then it clicked.
The healer was the only innocent one. Everyone else who had shoved aside these issues for years were the guilty ones and I was amongst them. I had opportunities to look further into the effects of the charms and the probability of success. I had even scheduled a date to meet with a healer to look at their records a month before I wiped my parents clean of their memory of me, but I kept putting it off. I was too confident in myself that I knew all there was to it and that it would go fine. The reassurance of the Order members just added to that fire. I had made the ultimate mistake and then reality hit me harder than it ever had before… I deserved this fate.
I felt disgusted with myself as bile rose up my throat, but nothing came out. I tried yelling, screaming without any sound passing through my lips. There was no air coming into my mouth. I clutched at my chest as I felt my heart beat race without oxygen and soon all the colors in the room became dimmer…and dimmer. I dropped down to my knees and felt someone's hand behind my head before it hit the ground and everything went black.
A/N- Please review! I want to hear your thoughts on how the story is going so far. On those who have stayed subscribed to this story, I apologize for my absence again and I'm glad you've remained subscribed. I will come up with the next chapter soon :D
Happy 4th of July everyone!