Disclaimer: Dragon Age characters, settings, and all in-game dialogue property of Bioware. I only own my Hawke, Roxanne, and my wonderful Inquisitor, Mhyrra.^^
After taking a breather on the balcony, the two came back down. The sun was beginning to set.
Mhyrra decided to start with Cole, at least she already had some inkling both as to where she would find him and what she would say to him.
That was the plan, until, as they headed towards the tavern, they both heard the ruckus coming from the upper floor of the smithy.
Mhyrra face-palmed.
"Vashedan…" She turned to Sera. "Wait for me in the tavern, apparently I need to go knock some heads together. Again."
Sera beamed, seizing her hand tightly.
"You joking? I wouldn't miss a chance to see you flex for all the breeches in Ponce City!"
Mhyrra smiled, rolling her eyes as Sera trailed behind her as they entered the smithy and ascended the stairs.
The scene came into view just in time to see Cassandra scuffling with Varric, shoving him against a railing by his shoulders, face the portrait of fury.
"You knew where Hawke was all along!" She bellowed in his face.
Varric tore off her hands, expression defiant.
"You're damned right I did!" He yelled back.
Cassandra's face twisted further.
"You conniving little shit!" She swung at him with a right hook, but he ducked under it and ran around both her and the table, keeping it between him and her.
"You kidnapped me! You interrogated me! What did you expect?!" He fired at her.
Mhyrra was genuinely contemplating letting them hash it out first before interfering, but for one, she didn't want Varric to lose any limbs over this, and two, she could tell this wouldn't go anywhere until someone forced Cassandra to calm down.
With that thought in mind, she stood between the both of them, arm held out and facing Cassandra. She barely caught the look of relieved gratitude Varric sent her.
"Enough! Both of you!"
Cassandra grew even more livid, rage momentarily trumping her sense.
"You're taking his side?!"
In the blink of an eye, Cassandra suddenly found herself pressed up against the beam behind her, Mhyrra's right arm shoved against her sternum, the other pining her hand above her head, as harlequin eyes bored into her honey ones.
"You have two options in this scenario, Cassandra. Either you loosen up, or I squeeze. Unlike Sera, I'm fairly certain you won't enjoy how I squeeze. Though also unlike with Sera," She applied more force and tightened her grip. "I have no intention of being as gentle."
"Woof..." Sera muttered with a day-dreamy expression. Before snapping to Varric with a suspicious squint. "Hey Dwarfy, I better not find any of that in those stupid books of yours! Me and Myrri's snuggle-time ain't for noble arsehole shites to read about!"
"Farthest thing from my mind right now Buttercup, believe me." Varric mumbled, not taking his eyes off the scene I front of him.
After a few moments, Cassandra finally relaxed a smidge, and Mhyrra felt fairly confident she had gotten the point, backing off and letting Cassandra recompose herself as she breathed deep.
But once again, ever a woman of her principles, that same bravery and determination that had earned her Mhyrra's respect despite their differences of opinion, would not let her abandon the matter nor what she had to say about it so easily. As Mhyrra moved to stand beside Varric, she looked at them both as she began speaking again.
"We needed someone to lead this Inquisition." Cassandra pressed. "First, Leliana and I searched for the Hero of Ferelden, Warden-Commander Jolena Surana, but she had vanished, and Leliana did not know where she had gone. Then we looked for Hawke, but she was gone too. We thought it all connected, but no."
Her burning stare and furious scowl turned towards Varric once more.
"It was just you." She snarled. "You kept her from us!"
"The Inquisition has a leader! And a damn great one too!" Varric volleyed back, sweeping at Mhyrra with his arms.
"Flattering me isn't going to get you anywhere with her, Varric." Mhyrra drawled under her breath.
If either heard her, they ignored it as Cassandra marched on.
"Hawke would been at the Conclave! If anyone could have saved Most Holy…!" She repeated once more, though she sounded even weaker than she had earlier.
"As we've already gone over, Cassandra, we all saw, felt and experienced what happened at the Conclave, myself more than most. Of which I was also the only survivor, if you'll recall, and we're still not even certain how I managed that much." Mhyrra reminded tersely. "If Hawke had been there, maybe she could have prevented Divine Justinia from dying, or this whole mess from even starting in the first place. Maybe she would have survived alongside me, and then maybe we'd have two badass Inquisitors kicking this chaos' arse and taking names.
Certainly, those are some possibilities. You know what I think is the muchlikelier one? If Hawke had been at the Conclave, she'd have died along with everyone else, and the world would be one extraordinary woman and hero poorer, right it needs as many as inhumanly possible!"
"Exactly!" Varric hollered. "See what I mean by great leader? Someone that has some damn sense in their heads, and a chest cavity that isn't empty! I was protecting my friend! Strange concept to you, I know! Now we see that's why you're not the one in charge, thank Andraste! I mean, what was I supposed to think or say? "Oh, it's ok Hawke, this zealot's not crazy and definitely won't chain you up and drag you by your feet if you refuse!"?"
Cassandra, fuming noisily, still sharp, seized onto the "chink" in Mhyrra's reasoning.
"Varric is a liar, Inquisitor. A snake. Even after the Conclave, when we needed Hawke most, Varric kept her from us!" She countered.
"She's with us now! We're on the same side!" Varric riposted.
Cassandra sneered. "We all know who's 'side' you're on, Varric. It will never be the Inquisition's."
Here, Mhyrra stood between them again, arms crossed and staring down at her.
"Varric's decision and actions were not the most practical, I can grant you that. You know what they are? Human. I will be the absolute last person to blame him for putting his friends, his family first. I would most certainly have done the exact same thing, if I was in his shoes, as I would still hope you would as well.
You don't discard and abandon your bonds and your people in the name of pragmatism or expediency, Cassandra. It's by fighting with your head, but fuelled by your heart and soul, that the greatest heroes accomplish the impossible. Why do you think I'm fighting? So that every soul in Thedas has a chance to do just that, to keep and forge new bonds, forge Thedas into a world worth living in, living for. No Maker required.
Varric could have brought you straight to Hawke herself, let her tell you on her own whether or not she wanted to help you. But be honest. At such a point, all out of options as you would have been, would you really have just let her go if she said no? When she said no? More likely, you would have forced her deeper and deeper into the situation against her will, until she either had no choice, or more likely she caved under her own conscience telling her she had to help.
And given her current state, one could hardly argue that would have been for the best. For her or for us. But you wouldn't have cared, would you? You would have forced her, one way or the other, to 'do her duty'.
Even if said duty was originally that of the Chantry and your Seekers. A duty at which they failed spectacularly, Hawke amongst both the victims and the few to actually try to do something about it, even though she didn't have to. Yet you keep defending them, despite how illogical it seems to others. Do I need to get a mirror, or will Varric's chest hair suffice?"
When Mhyrra finished, the fight appeared to have gone out of Cassandra completely, face and posture placid. She turned, leaning her arms onto the railing, head lowering.
"He did bring Hawke. Late perhaps, but Hawke is with us." She spoke quietly. "As are you." She added softly. She turned her head slightly to the left.
"Go, Varric. Just…go."
Varric stared at her back a moment, before turning to descend the stairs, passing by Mhyrra and Sera, who made no move to stop him.
"Varric." Mhyrra called after him. "While I meant what I said about understanding your reasons, I do hope that you realize that keeping anything else from us from this point onwards would only end in disaster, for yourself most of all."
He nodded sombrely. "I understand."
"Good. Now, where did you leave Cole? Also, did you manage to find Hawke?"
He shook his head. "Not yet. I was checking in here when Seeker jumped me. As for the kid, after we tried to help him walk it off, Solas wanted to take him back to his room, but then the kid just went poof. Back to his usual spot I imagine. Solas is probably with him now."
She nodded, turning back to Cassandra as Varric finished his exit.
A small pause during which they could faintly hear the hammers pounding downstairs. Sera turned to Mhyrra, uncertain what they were to do now. Mhyrra for her part was mulling said question.
"I…believed him."
Both turned simultaneously at Cassandra's words.
"He spun his story for me, and I swallowed it. If I'd just explained what was at stake…! If I'd just made him understand…!"
She pulled back from the railing, shambling over to a nearby chair.
"But I didn't, did I?" She stated as she folded into it. "I didn't explain why we needed Hawke. Instead, like a witless zealot, I merely pressed the urgency of my own beliefs onto him, believing reasoning and faith would make him break, had made him break. When in truth, as you said, time and time again, trust and bonds have proven to be far stronger things.
I should have been more careful. I should have been smarter."
She lowered her gaze to the floor, chin almost touching her chest.
"I'm such a fool. I don't deserve to be here…"
A beat, before Mhyrra sighed as she palmed her face, Sera rolling her eyes with her.
"Good galloping grief." Mhyrra groaned. "What is it with the best people always being the ones with the lowest view of themselves?"
"I know, right? Complete nutters." Sera vouched.
"Though I suppose the opposite would be a thousand times worse." Mhyrra conceded aloud.
"True that."
Cassandra raised her head in bewilderment at the two women's words.
"You two think I'm amongst the "best people"?" She sputtered.
Mhyrra gestured out the window.
"Have you looked at our Inquisition, Cassandra? We're all flawed, in some way or another, striving to do better than we did the day before. The fact that your virtues outweigh your flaws by a cartload is one thing. That you recognize your flaws is another, as is taking blame for imagined faults of your own and constantly second-guessing everything you do.
But that you, despite everything, hold on to your heart enough to value doing what is right above doing what the Chantry or your Seekers would dictate? To keep soldiering on, even though you think you might be wrong, and if you do make a mistake, you fully admit to it and own up to it?
That is the reason why you've earned my respect, even if we often disagree on many things. The fact that you're one of the rare few unafraid to butt heads with me in the name of what you believe in only furthers the sentiment.
There needs to be people like you. It's what keeps us grounded, honest, sharp and strong. If there wasn't, we'd doubtless wind up no better than Corypheus. Or worse, the Orlesian Court."
Cassandra joined the two in a brief laugh, before quieting and breathing deeply, looking Mhyrra in the eye.
"I want you to know…I have no regrets."
Mhyrra patiently waited for her to continue.
"Maybe if we'd found Hawke or The Hero of Ferelden, The Maker wouldn't have needed to send you. But he did. I know that isn't what you believe. But it is what I believe. You're…not what I'd pictured, to say the least. But if I've learned anything…"
She rose from her seat.
"It's that I know less than nothing."
Mhyrra and Sera graced her with smiles, the former patting her on the shoulder.
"Such is the very definition of a truly wise person, Cassandra. If more people knew it and realized it, half our work would already be done for us."
"But where would the fun in that be?" Cassandra quipped wryly.
Both other women stared.
"Myrri…Did I get knocked on the head, or did Cassandra just crack a joke?
"Yes. Yes she did Sera." Mhyrra mused.
"Andraste's hairy eyeball, someone holler up the Chantry! This needs its own line in the Chant!" Sera whooped.
"I already told you, it's not hair, it's-!" She caught herself as the other two's grins grew. "I-I mean that's…No, clearly there is just no winning against you two." She sighed.
"Don't you forget it!" Sera chirped as she hugged herself around Mhyrra's waist, Mhyrra squeezing back.
Even Cassandra could not help but crack a smile "How could anyone? The two of you are a walking reminder of it everywhere you go."
Sera giggled, Mhyrra smiled.
"Though isn't there somewhere else you should be right now?"
Mhyrra nodded as her and her belle headed towards the stairs.
"I need to go try and teach Cole the same thing I just told you: Life is all about Learning."
Cassandra nodded at their backs. "I truly wish you luck then, Inquisitor. For everyone's sake."
Mhyrra waved back as they disappeared into the lower floor.
Once outside, Mhyrra breathed deep of the cool evening air, no doubt delighting Sera who still had her arms around her.
"Already this late, and I still have the two I was actually supposed to be helping to go."
"Pah! We'll finish up with those two right quick, then you and me can just relax, rolling around under the stars!" Sera proclaimed.
Mhyrra puffed out a laugh.
"You are incorrigible!"
Sera blinked. "In-co-wha? Is that a fancy word for randy?"
"No, never mind." Mhyrra assured as she grinned and pulled Sera forward.
They spotted Bull on their way, who nodded his horns towards them. Up two flights of stairs, they emerged only to see a distinct absence of Cole.
Mhyrra blinked. "Well that complicates things."
Sera harrumphed. "Leave it to Creepy to make things hard."
Next stop was Solas' room, on their way to which they crossed paths with Varric leaning against a table. They stopped for a moment.
"Cassandra's calmed down. I think you can take your hand of your crossbow." Mhyrra half-cracked at him.
"Define "calmed down" for me in terms of who or what she's punching right now." Varric answered drolly. He leaned back, standing straight as he faced her. "I wasn't trying to keep secrets. I told the Inquisition everything that seemed important…at the time."
Mhyrra sighed and clasped his shoulder, kneeling to do so properly.
"I know Varric. As I said, I understand your reasons for keeping quiet. You never would have done so otherwise." She assured him.
He chuckled briefly. "Maker, you sound just like Hawke used to. Still haven't found her by the way." He sighed. "I keep hoping…none of this is real. For me and for Hawke. That maybe it's all some bullshit from the Fade, and it'll just…disappear." He sighed again, deeper this time. "I know I need to do better. I'm sorry."
His words seemed to strike a chord in Sera, who seemed to shiver at them, expression muddling. Mhyrra clearly noticed it, but had no choice but to note to address it later, among other things.
"I promise we'll talk more about all this later Varric. Right now I need to find Cole."
Varric blinked. "Wait the kid's gone now too?"
"Well probably not gone, but he's not in his "usual spot", so we're trying to see if Solas can help find him."
All three of them entered Solas' room, only to find the elf in a similar fit of focused searching, even if it was sitting cross-legged and meditating rather than running around.
"Any luck?" Mhyrra asked, certain he was looking for the same person they were.
"Not yet. His traces are inherently hard to pick up, though I do not claim to be as familiar with them as I would like." Solas answered calmly as he opened his eyes and rose.
"Well if it isn't in its little hidey-hole, and it isn't with Baldy, then where the pissballs is it?" Sera pestered.
Solas raised his eyebrows.
"Such concern is unlike you Sera, especially when it comes to Cole."
"Hey, if nobody knows where it is, then we're all shafted!" Sera protested.
Illumination struck Mhyrra as she recalled something from earlier, snapping her fingers. "I think I know where to find him."
They all turned in time to see her stride out the door.
"Myrri! Wait for me!" Sera rushed after her, Varric and Solas following suit.
Mhyrra led them up the main tower stairs to the door to her room.
"Uhh, Myrri? Why would it be in here?"
Mhyrra didn't answer, instead pushing open the door and marching inside.
Sure enough there was Cole, sitting on the edge of her bed with his legs drawn up to his chest again.
As the others stood still, uncertain what to say or do, Mhyrra calmly walked up, before sitting next to him, leaning back on her hands.
"Hey there Cole."
Cole made no overt movement to acknowledge her, though his head did shift up a little.
"I'm sorry. I can go now if I'm bothering you."
"No no, it's quite alright. Stay as long as you need. As long as you like. We were just worried about you. None of us knew where you'd gone off to until now." Mhyrra assured gently. "Though I have to ask: am I really such a ray of sunshine to you that my room feels like the safest place you could go?"
The faintest of nods.
"Balmy with the heat from her soul's fire, high above the crashing waves where the storm can't, won't reach me." He mumbled.
Mhyrra easily deciphered his meaning.
"The storm being Hawke."
Again, a faint bobbing.
"Roiling, boiling, drowned and drowning in a sea of tangled hurt. Not just hers, but everyone's. She carries them all with her, bowing under the load, because she thinks it's all her fault, that the weight on her shoulders and the burden in her heart is what she deserves, who she is…" He rambled as he appeared to do his thing once more.
"Well clearly it didn't work if you can still feel her from up here." Mhyrra remarked.
This time Cole raised his head to meet her eyes, shaking his head.
"Not feeling, remembering. I can't hear her when she's far and you're here, near, radiant and comforting."
"Cole if you keep comparing me with such sincerity to some sort of almighty goddess, you'll make my head burst." Mhyrra laughed. "Not to mention put Varric and Solas out of part of their self-acquired jobs."
"Hey, there's so much of you to honour and worship, we'd probably need a three-man team!" Varric joked.
"Hey! I'm the only one doing any Myrri-worshipping here, and I'm a one-woman army!" Sera boasted.
All three of them burst out laughing, Solas opting to simply smile instead, and Cole did the same as he raised his head further, even lowering his feet to the floor.
"You fracture the fear, banish the sadness and bring light to the soul wherever you go." He tilted his head. "Are you sure you're not a spirit?" Immediately he frowned, the effect comical. "No, spirits are only one thing, you're a lot. Valour, Strength, Wisdom, Command, Patience, Compassion, Love-"
"Okay okay, parshaara! That's enough Cole, really!" Mhyrra puffed through her mirth, grinning from ear to ear, feeling utterly flattered as she placed a hand on his shoulder.
"And no, Cole. I'm not a spirit, or a goddess. I'm just a woman who is who she is and who does what she thinks and feels is right. Considering our relative success for the most part, and that countless others seem to share my sentiments of what is "right", then either I'm the luckiest broad in the history of Thedas, or I must be doing something right. And there's no feeling quite like that in the world, Cole. Hopefully I can teach you that."
Here Cole became downcast again.
"I'm trying to learn. It's hard. Difficult to remember a lot of things. Nothing that sticks but the hurt, and how to help the hurt. Can't remember, how to learn how you always fix things the best way, even when I don't know, don't see how, always trying once and striking true."
"That's where you're wrong, Cole." She countered. "I do make mistakes. But then I just make another attempt at it, as many times as I have to, again and again, each time wiser and stronger, until I get it right, learning and growing from it. Like I've been doing for the better part of the today." She took his hand in hers. "Like I'm doing right now. Not wiping it clean because I'm afraid of messing up."
"It's easier that way…" He protested weakly.
"What's easy isn't often what's best, Cole. Let alone what's right." Mhyrra proclaimed firmly.
Cole let out a small whine, raising his free hand to his head.
"Alright, maybe that's enough lessons for one evening." She conceded as she squeezed his hand and shoulder. "Will you be alright until the morning?"
He nodded, rising to his feet slowly and heading to the door, Solas taking him by the shoulder. He paused on the threshold.
"She's down in the dungeons where the old thing broke a hole in its cage. That's where I last heard her before I shut my ears."
Mhyrra smiled brightly, same as Varric.
"That's a huge help Cole. Thank you."
This seemed to put a whole new spring in Cole's step, his face brightening and his posture straightening, before he turned and he and Solas finished walking out, the elf smiling to her in gratitude and approval as well.
As the door closed, Mhyrra breathed deep and slow.
"Two birds down, one Hawke to go."
"And then it's grass-smushing time! Come on! You need it! You'll feel a lot better!" Sera promised.
Mhyrra chortled. "And so will you, love. I can promise you that, assuming I don't have to knock some sense into Hawke rather than talk it, if you know what I mean."
"Let me just grab Zinger. No way I'm letting that nutter lay a finger on you." Sera declared.
Mhyrra chuckled, touched nonetheless. "I'd tell you that won't be necessary, but I know there'd be no point arguing with you." She stood up, turning to Sera and Varric.
"Come on, let's go mend a hawk's broken wings."
Author's Notes: I thought about doing it all in one go, but this piece already felt both long enough and as a good cutting point.
That, plus I really felt that the part where Mhyrra finally tackles helping Hawke deserved a full effort part on it's own.
It'll be here soon, I promise!^^
Please let me know what you think, I'm always up for talking about my works!
Cheers, Warm Tidings and Happy Holidays everybody! Y'All are Awesome and Wonderful!^^