KYAH!!! You guys are just gobbling this story down-I can hardly get it up fast enough! And no, Cricket, this is not a TsunaKaka, so calm down. ItaKaka is the main pairing for this story, and the main pairing it shall remain. And one of your critiques is answered, so read on!!

Sakura was beginning to shiver; she was beginning to wonder how much longer she could keep up this charade, posing as her sensei-she had taken the trouble to grow and dye her hair, use medical ninjutsu to change the color of her eyes temporarily, and even used it for her height, but she didn't have the skill in heels that Tsunade had, and she certainly didn't have the skill as a shin obi. Not to mention her breasts were smaller…

Tsunade had given her information on the Akatsuki and what she knew about them, but Sakura wasn't sure what else she might be confronted with. And it seemed Itachi had caught on, even though there were no genjutsus being used.

"So, Sakura," Itachi said conversationally, "How long did it take to grow your hair, change your eye color, and make yourself taller?"

Sakura smiled. "Not long, actually. Tsunade-sama told me exactly how to temporarily increase them all."

"So how do you know Ryuu?" Itachi questioned. "She told you everything she thought you'd need to know?"

Sakura nodded. "And now that that's over with-I want sensei back!"

Itachi shrugged. "Tsunade was wrong about 'Ryuu,' you know," he sneered. "We have a new leader-and his name is Pein."

Sakura sighed. "So close…"

Itachi grinned. "Well, now that I'm certain it's only you, pink pig, I'll be going now. Kakashi has become rather attached to me-he might be afraid if I leave him for long."Sakura grit her teeth. She knew about Itachi's infamous torture jutsu-he must have used it on Kakashi-sensei…

She forced her breath out, trying to calm down and think. If she could land one hit with her inhuman strength, it would be over for Itachi. But of course he was too fast for her; she was only in the early stages of training with Tsunade, and she had only learned a small healing jutsu and the way to crush rocks between two fingers. She had also learned how to avoid Tsunade's temper, but Itachi…did the man even get far enough into a battle to get pissed?

"Too late for thinking, pink pig."

"Art is a bang!!!"

Sakura barely evaded a massive explosion, seemingly caused by…a tiny bird..?

"What kinda stunt are you trying' to pull?!" she yelled, looking up. A huge clay bird circled overhead, two people sitting behind its wings: a young blonde and a hunched-over figure that she couldn't see very clearly.

"Akasuna no Sasori and Deidara, formerly of Iwagakure?"

The blonde smirked and held out his open palm, revealing another tiny bird. "Hai, I'm Deidara. As you may have figured out-" he dropped the bird-"I like fleetingly beautiful art-in other words, explosions."

Sakura sighed and dodged the falling bomb as it detonated. This could get very bad, very, very fast.

"Look, I'm not here to start a war. I just want Kakashi-sensei back!"

Itachi grinned. "Cease-fire, blonde-brain."

Deidara looked offended. "That's not nice, un. How'd you like it if I called you four-eyes?"

Itachi glared.

Deidara abruptly yelped. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!! Don't kill me!!"

Itachi sighed and looked away. "You're pathetic."

"But I'm cute right?"

Itachi glanced back up at Deidara. He was giving Itachi the very best puppy-dog eyes he could muster up, his one visible baby-blue eye wide and trying his hardest to make Itachi feel guilty about hurting him.

"If I say you're anything but annoying, Sasori will kill me."

Deidara smiled. "Hai, he probably will. He's my Danna, after all.""'scuse me? Are we chicken shit over here?!""Shut up, Kenshin!"

Sakura shushed one of the ANBU behind her. "Okay, search the building."

"Why bother?" Itachi shrugged. "You've already got a quite a few people doing that…"

"Damn, he's good," the same ANBU swore. Sakura sighed, apparently giving up on keeping him from swearing.

"Kisame, stick with me. Deidara and Sasori, stay here, too. The rest of you, go stop the rest of them from getting to Kakashi. He has yet to tell me who leaked us to him. And now that I know Tsunade knows, I have to shut her up, too…so, is there anyone else?"

Sakura backed up a step. Time to rethink this…but unfortunately, the time she needed she just didn't have. Okay, she could wing it…

The ANBU numbered about twenty-five; Tsunade had known what she was getting into with this. But even so, Sakura was wondering how long she and the squad could hold up against…these ninja, of them all!

"Go," she whispered. "Fight them any way you can, just…good luck."

The ANBU nodded and swept out of sight. Itachi sighed and pulled the snaps on his cloak apart.

"I need breathing room. Everyone get out of the way, all of you."

Deidara and Sasori flew up a little higher; Kisame retreated to cling to a rock with chakra. Pein apparently knew what Itachi was doing; he backed up behind a rock. Itachi dropped the cloak-

Sakura gasped.

He had a shocking body; he was beautiful. His entirely-fishnet shirt clung to his flat stomach, his tight leather pants were skin-tight, showing off his girlishly slim figure. Itachi cast the cloak to the side, leaving it to Kisame to pick it up. The shark-man did so and then stepped back onto the rock. Itachi's hand slipped back into his kunai pouch, slowly withdrawing several kunai and straightening.

He vanished.

Sakura looked around frantically; she couldn't afford to lose sight of him now! She quickly caught sight of him overhead. Kunai were fitted in between every one of his fingers, and his eyes were closed over the Sharingan. As they opened, Sakura gulped; she had a bad feeling about this…

"You're all surprisingly stupid, for ANBU," Itachi commented dryly as he focused his Sharingan. "A circle? Come on, I thought you were ANBU…"He hurled the kunai out straight, but Sakura couldn't see any of the ninja moving. With a start, she realized she couldn't either.

But only six out of the eight are on target for a hit, let alone direct…

Itachi pulled two more kunai out of his kunai pouch and used them to re-direct the two off-course kunai to nail the correct targets. Sakura gasped as she heard the gruesome thuds that meant Itachi had hit his targets-each and every one. She fought viciously against the jutsu Itachi had cast upon them all as he began to repeat the process, to no avail. Then, she realized there was only one thing to do:

Medical jutsu to the rescue.

If she could just scream at the right pitch, it would reverberate and hit Itachi's inner ear drums painfully...

She screamed.

Itachi seemed pained by the reverberating screech, and suddenly Sakura could move again. She smiled as she ran to break several falls, and suddenly ANBU were swirling around Itachi in an elaborate pattern, attacking back and forth with Itachi tracking them to whole time with his Sharingan. Itachi pulled out a scroll and unrolled the first summoning.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

Two long katanas appeared in Itachi's hands, crossed in front of him and poised for attack. He dove into the battle immediately, curved weapons flashing and sinking into flesh as Sakura tried to heal them as she went. Sakura sighed; could this get any worse? Itachi's hands flashed in a sequence of familiar signs, almost as if in answer to her question-

Yes, it can.

"Grand Fireball Jutsu!"

An enormous ball of flames came hurtling towards them, and Sakura grabbed the person nearest to them and hauled them out of the way.

Unfortunately, more then half of the ANBU were too slow.

Sakura released the man she had dragged out of the way and charged Itachi through the smoke, hoping to catch him while his visibility was lowest. She had no such luck, as Itachi merely caught her wrist.

"Pink piggy, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into," he murmured, pulling out a kunai. "My only hope is that I can educate you in the ways of the shinobi-true shinobi, not little shrimp like you."

Sakura knew what was coming, and she dreaded it even more knowing what was coming. Itachi had just signaled to Deidara to drop a bomb.

The last thing Sakura remembered was screaming.

OOOOOOOOO

Itachi tossed Sakura's limp body outside the boulder, resealing the barrier jutsu and turning back to the mass of carcasses he had personally created. He sighed and created the Fireball again, if only for the sole purpose of destroying the bodies.

"Um, Itachi?"

Itachi glanced over his shoulder; Deidara was climbing off his bird, a good distance from any burning bodies. "Are you just gonna leave that there?"

Itachi shrugged. "It's from Konoha-it's all trash."

OOOOOOOOOOO

"You killed them all?!! 'tachi, how could you?"

Itachi pulled Kakashi into his arms, gently caressing Kakashi's tear-stained cheeks. "Hush, now, love," he murmured, strikingly Kakashi's hair back from his face. "I did it for you; otherwise they would have taken you-"

"I wanted them to!"

Itachi was startled at Kakashi's sobs; Kakashi was suddenly wracked by tears, falling to his knees at Itachi's feet. "And then…you can't even pay them respect? You just…walk away, leaving them all to burn? Itachi…I thought you loved me…"

"This changes nothing between us," Itachi whispered, picking up the fallen jounin. "I still love you-I told you, I did it-"

"Don't ever come near me again!"

Kakashi roughly shoved him away, tears shaking his entire body. Itachi sighed and sank into a chair, putting his feet up on the coffee table.

"'tachi?"

A knock on the door, combined with his name called Itachi's attention to the door. "Come in, it's unlocked."

Deidara slipped through the door, respectfully closing it behind him. "Hey, just wanted to check in, see if you needed anything…"

Itachi sighed. "Can you go talk to Kakashi? He's really upset that I killed all those ANBU…"

Deidara nodded. "Sure! Where is he…?"

Itachi sighed. "He ran into his room; last one of the left."Deidara nodded and slipped into the said room, closing the door behind him. "Kakashi?""Go away."Kakashi was curled into a ball at the foot of the bed, arms over his knees, head in his knees. Deidara dropped to his knees next to Kakashi and gently pulled the jounin into his arms. "Come on, stop crying now…Itachi's really worried, un…"

Kakashi shook his head and shoved Deidara, turning away from the missing-nin and curling up again, this time with his back to Deidara.

Deidara sighed and leaned over, gently kissing Kakashi as he pulled him closer. "Don't be like that, un. I didn't do anything…"

"I-I jst want to be alone right now…"

"'kashi-stop moping!"

Kakashi turned around so fast Deidara could hardly track his movements. His fist swung at Deidara's face with lethal accuracy, and Deidara barely caught Kakashi's hand before it reached his face.

"Kakashi! How dare you!"

"I told you to leave me alone!"

Deidara sighed and used the fist he was holding to pull a violently-protesting Kakashi closer. "Stop-stop; I told you to stop! Now do it!"Kakashi continued to struggle, yanking on his captive hand and trying to get Deidara to let go of him. "Stop-let go…! Deidara-sama…you're hurting me, stop!"

Deidara saw tears spring to Kakashi's eyes and immediately let go of the jounin.

"Stop…please…please stop…"

Deidara looked down at Kakashi's wrist: it was now covered in purple bruises, an Deidara gasped with shock.

"Kakashi…I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you…!"

"Get out! Leave me alone! I hate you!!"

Deidara looked hurt at Kakashi's words, and slowly stood up. "Fine, if you really want me to…"

He walked out, leaving Kakashi sobbing on his knees.

OOOOOOOOO

"Well?"

"He's…not responding well…to anything…"

Itachi sighed. "Poor thing…it's enough to make me feel guilty about keeping him here when he clearly wants to go home."

Deidara shrugged. "If my Danna ever did that to me, I'd probably hate him too," Deidara mused. "I mean, he trusts you, right? And he feels betrayed now, so naturally he's going to lash out. He's in pain, Itachi, and you're not exactly helping."

Itachi glared. "If you noticed, he's kind of wanting nothing to do with me at the time-"

"Talk to him," Deidara pleaded. "The poor thing-he's all alone, and you can't even talk to him? What kind of person are you?"

Deidara stalked out, slamming the door behind him to emphasize his words. Itachi sighed. Deep down, he knew Deidara was right: he couldn't even show Kakashi he cared, because of his damn Uchiha pride…well, time to swallow that pride and take some well-given advice for once.

"'kashi?"

"Go away. Especially if you're Itachi."

Itachi sighed and sat down next to Kakashi. This time, the Copy Ninja was curled up in the corner, trying to make himself as small as possible. "We need to talk."

"No we don't. You need to get out of my sight."

"Kakashi, I know you're upset, but just listen to me, okay?"

"Go away!"

Itachi sighed, reached out, and grabbed Kakashi's wrist, pulling him closer. "Kakashi-"

A yelp of pain made him suddenly release Kakashi. "What, what happen-?"

The bruises on Kakashi's wrist were livid by now; ugly dark purple speckled over his milky white skin, red marks on the skin where his wrist had clearly been grasped and possibly twisted. There were also five distinctive bruises on Kakashi's wrist; one for each finger of a hand…

"Kakashi…" Itachi began quietly. "Who did this to you?"

"H-He didn't mean it-"

"Who did this to you?"

"I'm sorry, Itachi-sama, I-I didn't know he was going to-"

"Perhaps you are misunderstanding my question," Itachi growled. "I am going to ask one more time, and this time I want an answer. Are we clear?"

The look of fear on Kakashi's face was heartbreaking.

Kakashi nodded, shrinking back even farther into the corner. He was completely silent now, but Itachi could see the shine of dried tear tracks, and others that still shone with dampness.

"Now, let's try this again. Who did this to you?"

Kakashi looked down, looking even more afraid than before. "D-Deidara…"

Itachi sighed. "Alright. Was it an accident?"

Kakashi nodded fervently, seemingly afraid of having the same thing done again. Itachi reached out and pulled Kakashi into his lap, gently stroking his silver hair. "It's okay, I'm not mad. It's not anyone's fault; we can just forget this ever happened, okay?"

Kakashi slowly nodded, and Itachi carefully turned Kakashi to look him in the eye. "Are you okay? Are you hurt in any way?"

Kakashi shook his head. "Itachi-sama, I'm sorry…about what I said earlier…I-I really shouldn't have, I-I don't hate you at all…I was just upset because…Hidan and Kakuza…they were killing my friends, right in front of me, and…and they said it was on your orders, and I asked them why and they said that they wanted to take me b--back to Konoha…I told them I wanted to go, and they said th-they couldn't let me…I tried to stop them, but H-Hidan just…he locked me in my room and told me not to come out until it was over, it would be easier-"

Kakashi was silenced by Itachi's soft kiss.

A/N: Aw, it's fluffy, isn't it? I just thought it was cute…and a nice place to end it. Review, please-constructive criticism only please!! Cricket gave a very nice example of concrit, go read his/hers if you plan on flaming.