I have been totally MIA for way too long, and I know there are very few things more annoying than a story that's rarely updated, so I plan on trying very hard to make sure updates are more frequent from here on out - assuming that anyone's still interested in reading.
Saturday was always my favorite day of the week. I made a point of clearing my schedule – which, as a surgeon, wasn't easy and not always possible – as best I could.
My free time was never abundant, and after missing Emily's first word, I swore I'd make more time to be around. Time was too precious to waste, and she was growing up so fast. Luckily my Chief of surgery, Will Schuester, was a really great guy, and helped me out with my request as best he could. And that's how mommy/daughter Saturdays came to be.
Before Emily came along I was a workaholic, not that I wasn't now, by most people's standards I still probably worked too much, and when I wasn't working, I was obsessing over patients; my mind constantly abuzz with any way to save the so called "hopeless cases", but on Saturdays, I made an extra special effort to leave the hospital behind completely.
We never did anything extremely out of the ordinary, usually it was just a trip to the park to feed the ducks or play on the swings. Sometimes we'd go shopping, or have tea parties, and other days we'd just snuggle on the couch and watch Disney movies. The old Santana Lopez would have looked on in disgust or bombarded me with a slushee facial if she could see me reciting every line of The Little Mermaid, word for word, but Emily loved it. On occasion, when freeing up a Saturday proved impossible for me, Quinn filled in so that Emily would never go without her weekend tradition.
This week my charismatic offspring decided that she wanted to have Swan Princess day. When I questioned what exactly 'Swan Princess' day entailed, she looked at me like I'd grown seven heads, scoffed as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, and then proceeded to draw a diagram explaining that the outing required we visit the duck pond dressed in our best princess attire. Yep, no doubting they gave me the right kid at the hospital, sassy miss!
Emily donned her favorite fairy princess dress (complete with wings) – a gift from her abuela – and matching glass slippers. I managed to convince her that I had sent my matching outfit to the magic elves because one of it's unicorn threads had snagged; she seemed to buy this as an entirely plausible excuse. The sad truth is, I do have a matching dress, but it's tucked neatly away in a box in the attic, only to be exposed on Halloween. Maybe not even then.
Still insisting that I had to look equally princess-esque, I settled on wearing a tiara with a figure hugging black dress, that was sure to turn a few heads, I always did like to make a sexy statement with my downtime appearance - Hey, I'm a mother, I'm not dead. And although I felt a little ridiculous with the sparkly hair accessory, the smile on Emily's face was so worth it.
Satisfied that we looked the part of Lima royalty, we set off, making a quick dash to the grocery store to pick up some fresh bread for the swans, and some chocolatey snacks for ourselves. I refused to become one of those parents that deprived my child candy in favor of spinach and broccoli – that was Quinn's beat.
The park was relatively quiet, it usually was at 9:30am on a Saturday. Most of the Lima population opted to stay indoors until midday, or so it seemed; given my shiny headgear, and the fairy wings Emily had insisted on taking off for me to wear instead, I was rather grateful that as few people as possible were around as witnesses.
We found our usual spot at the far end of the pond where all the ducks seemed to congregate, and sat ourselves down. The grass was damper than I had expected it to be so I pulled Emily onto my lap instead.
A half hour passed of us laughing at the Swans fighting over the itty-bitty pieces of bread we threw – although Emily was far more generous than I had been, throwing whole slices at a time, occasionally hitting one of the birds in the head and causing it to squawk loudly, making us both laugh even harder.
The sun had risen more in the sky and with it, the air grew warmer. Emily had soon tired of the birds once the bread had all been eaten and begged to go play on the slide, and so we ventured back towards the park's playground. She ran ahead while I kept a watchful eye. She knew never to go too far away from me at any one time, and was careful to always stay within sight. Without warning, a giant golden retriever, the size of a bear (okay, maybe an exaggeration), ran right up to her, tackling her to the ground. My heart stopped in an instant as the disgusting beast hovered over my daughter. I ran to her aid only to find that the cries I had presumed were ones of fear and pain, were actually hysterical giggles and squeals as the mutt licked every inch of her little face. Gross.
A pale hand appeared and dragged the oversized pooch away. Immediately I lifted Emily from the ground and began to wipe the slobber off her face with the pack of kleenex I kept in my purse at all times.
"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry! He's usually not so excitab-"
I turned around, livid glare set firmly in place, ready to go all Lima Heights on the careless owner, but my features softened the minute I locked eyes with the crystal blue that had been invading my dreams all night.
"Santana?" She seemed equally as surprised to see me, but once she registered who it was her horrible canine had practically licked to death, her expression changed from one of surprise to one of sincere apology. "Oh my god! Is she okay, I hope Sam didn't scare her. He's really very friendly, and he's never done anything like this before, I swear. Is she hurt? Should we take her to a doctor? I'll cover any medical bills. Oh my god."
She put her face in the hand that wasn't still restraining the animal, 'Sam', cliché dog name much?!, and I could see the top of her ears tinge red in embarrassment. I glanced back at Emily who looked like the woman in front of her was a raving lunatic for going on such a tangent, she caught my eye and simply shrugged as if to silently ask 'what's her deal?'. I smiled broadly before standing up to pry Brittany's hand away from her face. She resisted but I finally managed to get her to look up.
"Brittany, relax" I said through a soft chuckle, "she's fine, look." I gestured at the five year old below us, who had now taken to petting the dog on the head before making the swift decision to wrap two chubby arms around his neck and hugging it tightly. I guess she wanted to reassure him they were cool. My heart melted at the sight. How could someone as badass as me, make something that adorably perfect? "She's a tough cookie, it'd take a lot more than a crazed canine to spook her."
Brittany didn't seem to find my attempt at humor comforting nor funny and looked at me in horror. "No! No – Sam's not crazed. He's just super friendly and-"
I held my hand up to silence her. "I was kidding." I said with a reassuring smile.
Her cheeks blushed a soft shade pink. God, I don't know who's cuter, her or the kid.
"Still, I'm really sorry." She apologized again. "He's not even my dog."
I quirked an eyebrow. "He's not?"
She shook her head, "I just walk him for my neighbor. She's a little out of it most of the time, so the poor thing is always stuck indoors. I'm more of a cat person."
"Is that so?" I couldn't help the flirtatious lilt that overtook my voice. The blush crept back up her cheeks which indicated my tone had not gone unnoticed. Just as she was about to respond, I felt a soft tug on my dress which stole my attention.
"Mama, can we go play on the slide now?"
Oh right, the slide. Yeah.
"Sure thing, baby." I looked back up at Brittany; really not wanting to say goodbye. "You're welcome to join us, if you'd like?"
Brittany looked hesitant, "I wouldn't want to impose..."
"Don't be silly. Besides, I'm sure Emily would love for her new friend to tag along, right, Emz?" My child was very perceptive, I really hoped she didn't choose this moment to be oblivious.
Our mother/daughter telepathy must have worked because she bounced excitedly up and and down, nodding her head in agreement.
"Well okay then." Brittany beamed.
X X X
Brittany and I sat close together on a bench near the playground. I made sure to keep an appropriate distance between us, which proved very difficult when all I wanted to do was scoot over that one little bit more so that we'd be nestled side by side. Emily had bonded with some child on the seesaw which kept her pleasantly distracted after Sam tired out from running around with her, and the pooch now lay comfortably at our feet.
"I like your wings." Brittany spoke, breaking the silence.
"Wha-" I cringed, and although ethnic people don't really blush, I'm 100% sure my cheeks burned bright red. I had completely forgotten about the fairy wings and sparkly tiara. Feeling idiotic, I reached up and removed the headpiece, looking down at it in my hands before awkwardly continuing, "Yeah, Emily wanted to play 'Swan Princesses', and she's the boss so..."
"I think it's cute." It was just an innocent statement but it caused butterflies to flutter around my stomach to the point of feeling nauseous. Chill out, Lopez, she thinks it's cute! Not you!
"So, how goes the audition planning?" I enquired. Anything to change the subject.
She shrugged. "It's okay. I'm a little worried about it really. I don't want to upset any of the parents, and from what Tina's told me, they're quite vocal when they don't get their way."
I laughed because it was true.
"Not to mention, I've received countless emails and texts from Anita checking up on the process. I wasn't aware that she was so invested in the production..." I hated the dejected sound in Brittany's voice. Her voice was made for the sole purpose of being cheerful and happy and positive.
"Honestly, Brittany, I think her incessant prying has less to do with the production, and more to do with her trying to find reasons to talk to you." my voice was irritated. Yeah. One, because Anita Connor was a sleazy vulture, and two, because I didn't think of using the same excuse to contact Brittany first.
"You think?"
"I know!" I had had more than my fair share of run ins with the woman over the last twelve months to be certain there was only one item of priority on her agenda, and it made my skin crawl.
Brittany laughed, "She is a little forward, I guess."
"A little? Britt, all she was short yesterday, was jumping on you like an animal in heat." This garnered another melodic laugh from the woman by my side and I thrilled at knowing I was the cause of such a perfect sound.
It died out slowly and she spoke again, "You called me 'Britt'."
Shit, I did, didn't I? Fuck. I hated people who shortened people names of people they weren't friends with!
"I'm sorry..." I trailed off, not really knowing how to talk my way out of this one.
"Don't be. All my friends call me 'Britt'." And with that, I felt entirely at ease. It also didn't escape my notice that she basically declared us friends. I could be happy with being friends. I think...
We stayed in the same spot for the next hour, chatting about nothing in particular, but I was just grateful the conversation kept flowing because that meant being graced with hearing the sound of her voice for such a long period of time without it being directed at kindergarteners. Eventually, Emily toddled over, looking worn out from spending the past 20 minutes spinning in circles with the seesaw kid.
"Mama, I'm hungry." I let out a gentle sigh, knowing that I couldn't stay here with Brittany all day, and feeding my five year old with ice cream was out of the question - while I was down with the whole junk food eating, one chocolate bar was enough of a sugar fix for one morning. I'm not completely reckless with my child's diet.
"I suppose we better get some real food into you so, huh?" I said, poking her in the stomach garnering a bout of giggles, before grabbing her into a hug.
I looked back up to Brittany who was staring at us with the softest smile on her face; it caused my whole body to heat up, and I reflexively mirrored her expression. We continued to stare at each other past the point of being a normal social interaction, and I couldn't help but feel like there was something more there. However, as before, I tried very hard not to get ahead of myself. I didn't even know if she played for my team, and although she had given me no reason to believe she didn't, she also didn't give me much reason to believe she did. It was still rather likely that I had allowed my hopefulness to overtake my imagination.
"I better go." I acknowledged remorsefully.
"Yeah." She seemed equally disappointed by the inevitable, or maybe I just wanted to think that's how it sounded.
We stood to go our separate ways, but I stopped, making an impulsive decision, and, not caring if it was proper parent/teacher etiquette, I called after her. "Hey Brittany?" She stopped and turned around. "Are you... are you busy tonight?"
She shook her head, and waited with a patiently expectant smile on her face, encouraging me to continue.
"A couple of us are going out tonight, if you wanna come? Finn will be there. His wife too."
"Sounds like fun." And she genuinely sounded into the idea.
"I don't know if you know anyone here yet, but if you do, feel free to bring them along." I really hoped she wouldn't bring anyone.
"Great. My number's on the contact sheet, text me with the details."
"Cool."
"Cool." She repeated.
"See you tonight." I waved and pulled Emily's hand up for her to do the same.
Brittany reciprocated the gesture to Emily before returning her full attention back to me, locking her gaze on mine with an intense stare. "Looking forward to it."