ROOKIE BLUE (isn't mine)

ALONE

I'm do glad you enjoy this story, thanks to you all for the great support, reviews, alerts... and thanks to E. for editing this for me. You're awesome ;)

-o-

Part 3

Andy stopped before Sam Swarek's door, looked at it and froze. Not that she was really having second thoughts. She needed to find a place, she had been looking for one these last few weeks and Sam provided her with a solution. After all, his place was just sitting there empty and would obviously be empty for many months to come. Somehow, it seemed like an invasion of his privacy, but who was she to judge and challenge his offer? It probably had been difficult enough to get the keys to her in the first place. But she had to be ready to live here, really ready. And she was not sure she could manage that without his help.

Her breathing was fast and her pulse was racing because she had run the last hundred yards. Walking from the Penny to his place had seemed like a great idea at the time. She desperately needed some action to let off some steam. Not to mention that it would technically delay the moment when she would be taking him to his word. Once she pushed through the door, the proverbial cat would be out of the bag. That meant that she had to face the consequences. Childishly, she had been thinking that as long as she could hold on to his keys, the same keys that had been jangling in her bag for almost a week, she was okay, in a safe place, so to speak. As long as the keys stayed there, she could keep lying to herself.

She had missed him and she wanted him back in her life. Maybe moving in his empty house would be the first step to achieving this goal. At least, when he was back, he would be hard to miss. She chewed on her lip, took a deep breath, bracing herself against the memories of the only time she had been there. They flashed back in her head anyway, making it impossible to do anything. The keys had helped her to realize that she was more smitten with her former TO than she cared to admit, even to herself. Until this moment, her infatuation simply dangled in the back of her mind like a comforting fetish.

Traci Nash rushed inside the locker room, slamming the door against the wall, venting about her day at the desk. Startled, Andy yelped. Her bag fell to the floor, its content pouring out in the open.

"Hey, Andy, you okay?" Traci rushed to her friend and crouched down to help her gather her stuff. "How you can put so many things in that bag is beyond me," she chirped, hiding her concern behind a cheerful façade.

Andy mumbled some excuse and haphazardly piled up her things inside the bag.

"Someone is in a hurry," Traci continued. "Sorry I made you jump, I'm… well, you know, the usual," she shrugged. Andy got up and zipped the bag up, guilt written all over her face. She looked down, doing her best to avoid her friend's scrutiny. She tucked her hair behind her ear and managed to put on a brave face. "I'm okay… Just tired, I guess."

"McGuire giving you a hard time? Say the word and I'll call Morgan first thing tomorrow, I assure you he'll get off your back like a trained poodle!" She was smiling now though she caught a glimpse of something in Andy's eyes she couldn't quite place. "Wait. If it's not McGuire, there's definitely something that you're not telling me. Spill the beans Andy. Is it Luke again?"

"No, no, of course not. Luke has been quite nice, actually." She shook her head slightly. "I'm… I'm just tired."

"Yeah, you said that already. You know what? I don't buy it. You've been moody all week and now you're just acting weird. Come on. Shoot, what is it that you're not telling me? Come on, it's Dov?"

"No!" she cried," absolutely not. "Dov? Come on… No Trace, everything's good, I'm just…"

"… you're tired I get it. Dude, come on. I'm late already, and you're not going anywhere until you come clean. Look at you! You're a mess!"

"Thanks," Andy retorted with a smirk. "That's nothing really…"

"Seriously? You're gonna make me beg? I can't believe…

"When you barged in, I kinda thought for a moment that…that Sam was here."

"In the locker room? In our locker room?"

"Forget it," Andy shook her head again and gathered her hair into a ponytail. "I'm stupid."

"Andy? Have you seen Swarek recently?"

"No!" Her mouth quivered and she frowned.

"Oh, oh."

"What now?"

"I know that look. What's going on Andy? Wait! You and Swarek did the nasty in the locker room?" She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "When?"

"Trace," Andy moaned, "not funny."

"But you totally would have," Traci beamed.

Andy sighed and sat on the bench. She put her bag on her lap and fumbled inside. "Here," she said, holding out two sets of keys.

"You bought a car?" Traci sat beside her and took the keys.

"They are Sam's."

"Why would you have Sam's keys?"

Andy groaned. "That's the point exactly! I have no idea why and I just can't decide what to do."

"Wait a minute. Swarek gave you his keys when he left? I don't understand, you've been staying with Dov like forever."

"Nope. Noelle gave them to me a couple of days ago."

"Noelle?" Now it was Traci's turn to look puzzled.

"She said that some guy left them for me."

"Some guy, huh. I don't think so."

Andy jumped to her feet. "Think whatever you want Trace. If you must know, I have Sam's keys in my bag. For what it's worth, I've been carrying them along like a lucky charm. I know, I must be dumb or something. And there was a note too. Sam wants me to live at his place."

"Together?" Traci's eyes went wide.

Andy's eyes went wide. "No, not together! Sam's undercover. He's lending me his apartment and his truck."

"The guy who left without even bothering to tell anyone, not even you, is giving you the keys to his precious truck? He likes you Andy, no doubt," she teased her. "So when are you moving in? Do you need a hand?"

"Oh, Trace, I wish I knew. I don't know what to do."

"Let me tell you, sis, when someone gives you his keys, you just take them and you do as you're told. Sam's not even around, so what's the problem?"

Andy shrugged. "I wish I knew."

"Andy," she paused, "you've been pining after Sam Swarek like forever, and since he left…" Andy shook her head, red creeping on her face. "… you broke up with Mr Perfect. The way I see it, Andy, give yourself a break and use the keys. You have my blessing." She patted her on the arm. "Now, I deserve a drink, several drinks, that is. It's on you," she said. She opened her locker. "This conversation is not over, you know?" She disrobed and walked away to the showers.

And now she was at his front door. And tonight, she simply felt stupid again because Sam was undercover. As far as she knew, there was no indication that he was coming back anytime soon. Still, staying at his place all by herself, that did not make any sense. She took a deep breath, stepped back, and glanced around whisking away her bout of paranoia. It's just a door McNally. You unlock it, it opens. She clasped the keys nervously and held out her hand. Why was she even freaking out? She inserted the key and turned. Nothing happened. She was overwhelmed by a tide of sheer panic. She jerked back. Was it a bad joke? Has she been played? Who would even think of doing such a thing? She glanced quickly around her again, scanning the street, squinting until it hurt. Of course, she was alone. No one was keeping watch in front of Sam's apartment building at three in the morning on a week day. She tried the key again but it refused to turn, even a little. For a split second, her mind reeled and she contemplated running away.

And now the key was stuck.

Angry tears began to roll down her cheeks. She wiped them away with her sleeve. Pounding on the door, she kicked, knocked, pushed and pulled and finally forced the key out of the lock. She was pathetic. For an entire week, she had been toying with a fantasy. The fantasy that even when he was undercover, Sam was looking out for her, that he was having her back, always. In the end, it was only a sick joke.

The night was chilly. The north wind was picking up. The last thing she needed was wandering in the streets facing the prospect of a massive snow storm. She sat on the stairs, leaning against the door and folded her arms on her chest, burying her face in her woollen scarf. She tried to breathe evenly. Pull yourself together Andrea. She would toss the keys deep inside the next garbage container, take a cab back to Dov's, and sleep on it. She was sobbing now, unable to hold her frustration in check for an extra second. She cursed under her breath, and jumped to her feet. She shoved her hands inside her coat pockets and briskly walked away. After a few strides, she stopped dead in her tracks and almost tripped over her feet. While she was having her meltdown, snow had actually begun to fall and the street was now icy and silent. She shook her head. What the hell. She had to give it another try. She went back to the door, inserted the key again and turned.

The door opened smoothly with a soft click and she got engulfed in a world of smell. She stepped inside, shut the door behind her, barely breathing. She closed her eyes briefly to savour the moment. Reminiscence of a very different situation assaulted her again and she leaned on the door fighting dizziness. It was hard to describe, but she definitely could feel his presence, which made it even harder to forget the night when she had been so dangerously close to letting her guard down. Today was not the day to take another flight. She walked past the foyer into the main room, reluctant to flip the lights on. The temperature was below 50°F. She had to find a way to turn on the heating. But not now. Something was far more urgent.

She stumbled in the dimmed room, bumping into a bunch of unidentified obstacles, and finally made it to the bedroom. She took off her coat, gloves and hat, tossed them on a chair along with her jeans and sweater. In her underwear, she turned to the closet, walking slowly in the dark with her arms extended before her. She picked one of his shirts from the pile and put it on. Then she sprinted to the bed, hopped inside and snuggled under the covers.