John didn't bother to look anywhere except at Sherlock. He couldn't even begin to hide his utter joy, a huge smile spread across his face and he breathed "it worked."
It only took Sherlock a moment to figure out what John had settled on as reality. "John you're confused, you're not dead. In fact, you're very much alive. I apologize for lying to you, I swear I mean it. I should never have put you through this; all of this is entirely my fault. And I hope one day you'll forgive me." Sherlock was going to continue but noticed John wasn't paying attention to a word he was saying; instead he was enjoying the moment.
"I wasn't sure if I would find you here, but I always knew you were good. Honestly, what would heaven be without my love? I'm so glad to see you again, to feel you again…god, you even smell as good as I remember. Oh I've missed you so much!" John gently lifted the hand that was settled in Sherlock's and planted a small kiss on it. "Oh how I've longed to do that…" if it were possible, John's smile seemed to grow even bigger.
Sherlock was glad he had decided to come into the room alone, or he was sure John would be enormously embarrassed. "John, would you ple – "
"Mmm, it feels so good to hear you say my name again, Sherlock." John said, still in what seem to be complete and total bliss. He took in the sight of Sherlock, noticing he looked a bit unkempt, but beautiful nonetheless. His black curls still descended over his face, his eyes were still as blue as the ocean, and his pale skin looked like gorgeous porcelain.
"John, please I – "
"You know, I had the fear that you wouldn't want to be here, that you didn't feel the same way…that I would end up alone. But you being here, it must mean you love me as well." John began to tug Sherlock's arm towards him when his hand had an uncomfortable pulling sensation. He looked down at the IV sticking his arm and quickly fell from the clouds he had been floating on. The room began to spin as he quickly released Sherlock's hand from his grasp, his breaths were shallow and his pulse began to lose control – the beeping behind him only amplified this. John quickly peered around and truly let his surroundings sink in.
A hospital?! I'm in a hospital?! "Oh god…oh god, oh god, oh god! I failed! Of course, leave it to John Watson to screw up killing himself and go absolutely bonkers!" He turned to look at Sherlock and seemed to soften slightly as he got lost in the deep oceanic eyes staring back at him. "At least my memory gave me the courtesy of capturing the details."
John lifted his hand and rested it across the younger man's face, lazily rubbing his thumb against the sharp cheek bone. Sherlock had to use much restraint to keep himself from leaning into the touch. He tried to rationalize the events of the past few minutes, love? Me? But before he could begin to think, he first needed to clear things up for John.
"John?" Sherlock barely whispered. He got a slight "hmm" in response, seeming to stir John from his daze. "John, you're not dead. And you're not crazy. I had to fake my death to protect you…I do apologize for that. The fact that it led you to this…I'm so very sorry John."
"Oh…wow! I bet Sherlock would even be impressed, I have really captured you, love. Hmm, I really have missed you Sherlock. Even if this hallucination is all I get, I'm happy." Sherlock could see that John was half expecting him to disappear at any moment, that his mind would stop being so kind. But he needed to make him see the truth…but how?
"John, please listen to me!" Sherlock pressed, growing slightly frustrated that John wouldn't accept the truth. "You are not dead. I am not dead. You are not crazy. And you are not hallucinating."
A confused look crossed John's face. "I…I don't –"
"Oh good god John!" Sherlock grabbed John's face in his own and kissed him; it was short, and chaste, and full of passion equally from both ends. Sherlock began to pull away, but John didn't want to let him go. Sherlock settled for pressing their foreheads together, holding deep eye contact. "Now do you believe me John?"
"I now know this has to be some kind of hallucination, there's no way the real Sherlock would do that!"
Sherlock stood up quickly, leaving a disappointed John reaching out for him, and let out an exacerbated grunt. "What will it take to convince you I'm real, John?!"
At that moment Sherlock heard the door open so he stood up and pulled away from John, trying to protect him from further embarrassment. Mycroft strode through the door and addressed John. "I'm terribly sorry about this John; I should've been keeping a closer eye on you. I should've known you would make a rash decision eventually."
"Oh, um, hello Mycroft…I wasn't expecting to see you. Did you uh…say keep an eye on me? I'm not your brother's flat mate anymore, that's not necessary. And it's fine; I got something good out of it in the end." John's eyes quickly glanced at what he believed to be his hallucination, and then turned back to Mycroft.
"Yes, I guess the return of my brother is quite the nice surprise. I must say, I don't like the means of it, but it was effective nonetheless."
John lost all color of his face, the truth dawning on him for the first time. "Wha – wha –" was all John managed to get out.
"Oh dear, did I say something?" Mycroft asked his brother with genuine worry, still feeling guilty about the whole incident.
"No, its fine brother," Sherlock began. "It's just that up until this point, John seemed to be under the pretense that I was a hallucination."
"Ah, I see. Well, I was simply checking on John's condition and giving my apologies. I must be off."
John wanted to reply but he appeared to no longer have the ability to speak, so Sherlock said his short farewell as his brother began to swagger out of the room, his umbrella acting as a cane by his side. Once he had left, John let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.
"You're…you're um…you're uh – "
"Yes John, I'm real." Sherlock cut off his bumbling friend, sitting back down and moving his hand back towards John's. Instead of the rejection he was expecting, John happily accepted the gesture. But then the truth really set in and anger began to bubble to the surface, his eyes were filled with pure rage, and Sherlock saw it. The taller man tried to pull away, tried to get far enough so the man couldn't take his anger out on him; but John had his hand and was not letting go.
"A year, Sherlock! A bloody YEAR you were gone! A YEAR WITH NO SIGN THAT YOU WERE ALIVE?! YOU COULD'VE GIVEN ME A SIGN, A PHONE CALL, ANYTHING!" his grip was steadily tightening on the Detective, grasping to the point of pain. "WHAT'VE YOU GOT TO SAY SHERLOCK? I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF TO BE WITH YOU AGAIN! I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF BECAUSE I SODDING LOVE YOU!"
John completely froze, his grip loosened and he looked up at his friend. "Did you hear me Sherlock…" John barely breathed. "I love you."
Sherlock didn't know the best way to approach the situation, so instead of words, he bent down and placed a kiss on the other man's lips. It wasn't intense and feverish like the last one; it was slow and sweet and said everything he couldn't. He pulled away and sat down, looking John straight in the eyes.
"John…I really truly am sorry. I'm so sorry I can't even begin to – "
"It's fine Sherlock…I forgive you."
Sherlock sat on edge, waiting for John to continue. There were several moments of silent before he was ready to speak again.
"Of course you do realize the anger will come out every once in a while." They both broke out in smiles and laughter, Sherlock sat beside John in his hospital bed. He took the other man's hand once more, stroking his thumb lazily over the broken man's skin.
"John, I love you." Sherlock said, looking into his eyes.
"I love you too, you complete idiot." John pulled Sherlock back down into a kiss, they both relished in the moment. All though neither of them liked how they got here, they were just happy to finally have each other back.
~ I'm still fairly new to writing fanfiction so please review and tell me what you think! All criticism is welcome and appreciated, thanks! ~