Chapter 2

Loki and I are currently clothes shopping. I am trying to find something suitable he can wear to job search, and something he can interview in. I will worry about expanding his wardrobe later.

"What of this?" Loki says holding out a leather jacket.

"Well, it is certainly you. It is also kind of classy. Yes, that is acceptable," I agree. "Now, we just need to find something to go underneath the jacket."

"Of course," Loki nods.

"Let's go look at jeans," I suggest.

"Jeans?" Loki questions.

"Yes, what I am wearing right now," I tell him. "Unlike the nylon you are wearing."

"For your information this is what goes under the battle armor," he says.

"Okay. Whatever," I say. "Let's just go get you some man clothes."

"These are very manly in Asgard," Loki demands as he follows me through the store.

"I am sure they are. I am also sure your male species is very feminine. It's okay," I tell him.

"We are not feminine," he roars, getting strange looks from other shoppers.

"Shh," I tell him. "Do you want us to get kicked out?"

"Sorry, but take back what you said about the feminism," he says.

"Uh, no," I shrug.

He growls.

I roll my eyes.

"What size of pants do you wear?"

"I do not know. In Asgard, clothing is made to fit us. We do not measure like you," Loki says.

I sigh and grab a couple different sizes. "Go try these on."

"What?" he asks.

I lead him to the fitting rooms and tell him again to try them on. "Let me know which ones fit best."

"Yes, sir," he says.

I roll my eyes. He just couldn't get over the feminist comment.

I am waiting for about five minutes before he comes out again.

"These ones," he says throwing a pair at me.

"Good," I say. I buy him a few more pairs in the same style and size.

"Shirts?" Loki asks.

"We haven't gotten that far," I sigh.

"I realize. Shall we move onto that now?" Loki asks.

"Yes," I sigh. "I am thinking a nice cotton button up."

"Buttons?" Loki questions.

I sigh, "Yes, buttons. They are a means of fastening clothes."

"Are you tired of me yet?" Loki asks.

"Getting there. Don't worry, if I get too tired of you I have a Taser," I grin.

"What is a Taser?" Loki asks.

"A Midgardian weapon," I say. "Maybe I will show it to you someday,"

"I would rather you not," he says.

I laugh, "Come on. Let's buy you some shirts."

"What about this?" Loki asks grabbing a shirt off a nearby rack.

"Uh, no. It is salmon. That is a very feminine color," I tell him.

He groans.

"Just trying to help you out," I say. "Here, try this on."

It was a long sleeved button up that could be rolled up to the elbows.

"And this is an appropriate color?" he asks. "For a male?"

"Yes, it is," I told him. "Do you not have these colors on Asgard?"

"Not as many, no," he says. "What is this color?"

"It is a light blue," I tell him. "Sometimes referred to as pale or pastel blue."

"Okay. I get it. I will go try it on," he says.

When he returns I have some more shirts picked out.

"Did it fit?" I ask.

"Yes. Very well, it makes me look bigger than I am, I think," he says.

"I picked out some more colors. I also got wife beaters to go with them," I tell him.

"I do not understand. A wife beater? You have gotten me people who beat their wives. Why do you think I would like this?" Loki asks perplexed.

"No, no, no," I shake my head. "A wife beater is a tank top meant to go under other clothes."

"Oh," Loki looks dumbfounded. "Why would they call it that?"

"I don't know. Men are idiots," I tell him.

"Excuse me? But, I am a man," Loki points out.

"Yeah, what's your point?" I ask him.

He looks affronted.

I just shrug and walk away towards the shoe section.

Once we complete his wardrobe, we walk around the mall to see if anyone here is hiring.

"I do not understand this job hunting process. On Midgard we have all known what we would do since birth," Loki says.

"Yes, because you are gods," I say. "Down here, you have to work to get to where you want to be."

"Why would anyone want that?" Loki questions.

"Because that's how it is. Some people don't want it and they just sit around on their asses while their parents or spouses make all the money," I tell him.

"I want to do that," Loki demands.

"You have no parents on Midgard, and the last time I checked, I saw no wife," I tell him.

"You can be my Midgardian wife," he tells me.

I laugh out loud at that. I nearly have to sit on a nearby bench I am laughing so hard.

When I finally calm down I tell Loki to come on.

"Where are we going?" he asks.

"To find you a job," I tell him. "We have already been through this."

He groans.

"Wait, this isn't going to work. You are not a U.S. citizen. Drat, how am I supposed to get you a job?" I think aloud.

"I can be one of those non-working fellows," he speaks up.

"Shut up, before I Taser you, Loki," I tell him. "I need to speak with Jane. Let's go home."

"Home?" Loki asks. "My home is not here."

"You know what I mean, Loki," I say exasperated.

He laughs.

"Are you hungry?" I ask him.

"Indefinitely. I do not stay full long on Midgard. Your food servings are not substantial next to those of Asgardian levels," Loki explains.

"Alright, I will pick up a lot of Chinese on our way home. I think you will enjoy it," I tell him.

"As long as Macaroni and Cheese and Ramen are not options, I will be satisfied," Loki says.

"There are some noodles, sometimes, but trust me, it is almost a hundred times better than Ramen noodles," I tell him. "Chinese is like, amazing."

Loki stares at me as I talk about food.

"What?" I ask confused.

"I have never met a woman so enamored with food before," Loki chuckles.

"You will find that here on Midgard, a lot of women enjoy food," I tell him.

"Oh, women do as well on Asgard. They just do not speak so freely about it," he says. "They are… I do not know the word it is I look for."

"Prudish?" I ask.

"Yes," Loki nods. "I suppose you could say that."

I nod, "That sucks. I take it you don't get laid a lot on Asgard."

"No, not unless you find the women who do not really have any morals. We must court and marry first," Loki says.

"Hmmm," I murmur. "Sounds… stressful."

"Not for me. I have no morals. Finding women was not an obstacle for me," Loki shrugs. "Thor however was a different story. I am sure your 'friend' Jane was his first lay."

I laugh out loud, "You have got to be kidding me. How old is he?"

"Old," is Loki's answer.

"Isn't that embarrassing for men?" I ask.

"Not on Asgard. Here, maybe, I have no idea. I do not live here," Loki explains.

"It is here. And, technically, you are living here now," I point out.

"Simply because no one looks at me the same in Asgard anymore. They do not wish for me to be around. So I left," he says. "Now, I am staying with you. In your bed."

"Please, if anyone ever asks, do not introduce yourself like that. It sounds like you are sharing my bed," I tell him. "I do not need people thinking we are sleeping together."

"Why? Would it not make you popular if people thought you were sleeping with a god?" Loki asks.

"The god that tried to destroy our world? I think not," I tell him.

He is quiet after that.

I wonder if I struck a nerve. I didn't mean to. I was just stating a fact. Oops.

"This Chinese is amazing," Loki says. It is the first thing he has said to me since I made that remark earlier.

"I told you," I laugh. "I will only introduce you to the good foods."

"I am grateful that you decided to take me in," Loki says quietly. "I would not want to be out there alone."

"You are welcome, Loki," I smile softly at him. "I am glad we are becoming friends."

"Yes, I like you, Miss Darcy," Loki nods.

"Call me Darcy," I tell him.