The Angst-Tasy and the X-Tasy

"This week has been nothing but a disaster," Kitty groaned as she sat in the kitchen that night with Bobby and Jean. "First that whole jumping through dimensions craziness, I break up with Lance, Apocalypse escapes and then Selene sends us a huge dragon to trash Bayville giving the entire town another reason to hate us!"

"And to think it's only Tuesday," Bobby said cheerfully as he munched on an apple. "But to be fair you and Lance breaking up was the biggest disaster of all."

"Ha ha," Kitty glared at him.

"Kitty you have to admit it was a long time overdue," Jean pointed out.

"Way past overdue," Bobby said. "I mean for someone who's supposed to be so smart and mature about everything else you were hanging onto him like a little kid with a snow cone."

"Oh yeah, what about the rivalry you have with Shane Shooter over Jubilee?" Kitty retorted. "Isn't that childish?"

"Actually the three of us sat down and talked it out after Storm's little blizzard the other day," Bobby said. "I realized I wasn't really in love with Jubilee and although Shane may not end up being my best friend or anything like that…He likes Jubilee and she can kick his butt any day so…"

"So the three of you just put your differences aside just like that?" Kitty was shocked. "No more fighting or bickering?"

"Yeah to be honest none of us wanted to be as messed up as you, Lance and Peter," Bobby shrugged. "So we decided to give maturity a try."

"Wow," Jean was impressed.

"Thanks a lot!" Kitty groaned.

"Kitty you gotta admit that they handled it a lot better than you did!" Jean told her.

"Hmph, who would ever have thought Bobby would ever end up acting like a mature person around here?" Kitty rolled her eyes.

"It's not that unbelievable," Bobby said.

"Yes it is," Kitty remarked. "It's shocking."

"Will wonders never cease?" Jean smirked. "So now are you with Peter again?"

"Not exactly…" Kitty sighed. "This whole breakup with Lance has gotten me to think."

"It would have been better for everyone if you did that before you broke up with Lance," Bobby said. He withered under Jean's glare. "I know, I know Jean. Shut up."

"So much for maturity," Jean groaned.

"Maybe I'm just not ready for a serious relationship right now?" Kitty sighed.

"Have you told Peter about this?" Jean asked.

"Yeah I said that maybe we shouldn't date again right away and that it might be a long time before I date anyone again," Kitty said. "I think I need to take a break from my love life. Like maybe a year or so."

"Well that explains why Colossus has been banging his head against the Blackbird for the past twenty minutes," Hank walked in wearing a nice white suit and pants with a blue tie. "In his metal form."

"Must be a big dent by now," Jean said.

"Yes and Logan is not exactly thrilled by a long shot," Hank told them. "But I must say it's an inventive way of getting out of waxing the X-Jet."

"Whoa Beast you're all dressed up," Kitty remarked. "You look nice. What's the occasion?"

"Miss Candy Southern and Ms. Trish Tilby are coming over to spend an evening with Warren and myself," Hank told them. "It's a bit casual but since not that many restaurants in Bayville that don't have a drive through window will serve mutants it seemed like the most sensible solution."

"You're hanging around here for a date?" Kitty asked. "Are you like trying to tempt fate or something?"

"We figure if our prospective girlfriends can survive a night at the X-Mansion," Hank told them. "Then maybe the relationship has a chance."

"A double date at the X-Mansion," Bobby snorted. "Boy this ought to be good."

"Triple date actually," Jean said. "Scott and I will be with them too so I don't want anyone spying on us or else!"

"Believe it or not Jean nobody's interested in you and Scott dating any more," Kitty said.

"Kitty, how gullible do you think I am?" Jean asked. "Remember that cruise from Hell? You and Kurt followed us everywhere!"

"We were bored," Kitty shrugged.

"And people call me immature," Bobby snickered.

"That's because you are immature," Kitty stuck her tongue out at him. Bobby used his powers to blow a small chill toward her, putting a little ice on her tongue. "EY! NOF FAIFR!"

"Ha ha!" Bobby laughed as he ran away from an angry Kitty.

"BOBBY YOUFFF DEADF…" Kitty snapped as best she could with a frozen tongue.

"So much for maturity," Jean groaned.

"That does seem to be in small quantities around here," Hank agreed.

"AAAAHHHHHH!" Bobby ran upstairs being chased by an angry Kitty. "HELP! CRAZY GIRL ON THE LOOSE!"

They ran past Sam's room where he was hanging around with Roberto, Ray, and Everett. "Wonder what Bobby did this time?" Ray asked casually barely looking up from his motocross magazine.

"Who knows?" Sam shrugged.

"I can't believe Bobby was let back on the X-Men," Ray grumbled. "I mean the fact that they let him on the main team at all is pretty unbelievable. I mean why him and not me?"

"You have a few hours?" Roberto asked. "But I think the main reason is probably that Xavier doesn't think you're mature enough."

CRASH! THUD! SLAM! THUD! WHACK!

"PWEPAWE TO DIE DWAKE!" Kitty could be heard screaming.

"Oh come on Kitty it was just a joke!" Bobby was heard. "OW! THAT HURTS!"

CRASH! CRASH! SMASH! THUD! THUD!

"DIE! DIE! DIE!" Kitty screamed as she ran past again, swinging a baseball bat as Bobby laughed.

"If those two are mature," Ray said. "I'm Donald Freaking Trump!"

"I don't think the Professor can cite maturity as a qualification to be on the main team any more," Sam remarked.

"Why do you want to be on the main team anyway?" Roberto asked.

"You don't?" Ray was surprised.

"I dunno," Roberto shrugged. "It's just I'm pretty comfortable where I am now with you guys, you know?"

"I don't think I ever want to end up on the main team," Everett said honestly. "Look at all the crap they go through! I mean this week alone…"

"Yeah trouble does tend to follow 'em around like a lost puppy at a butcher's convention," Sam said.

"If that's a requirement to be on the main team then they can have it!" Roberto nodded.

"As long as I don't end up in therapy three times a week by the time I'm thirty I'll be happy," Everett said.

"They're drama freaks, all of 'em," Roberto grunted as he munched on some chips. "Every little bad thing in their life has to be agonized over and over again."

"To be fair they do have quite a bit of problems on their plate," Sam told him.

"So Rogue and Kurt have family issues? Whoop de do," Roberto groaned. "And now so does Gambit but they don't have to obsess over 'em! Who doesn't have family issues! I mean my dad is a freaking member of the Hellfire Club and tried to take over the planet. But do I mope about it all the time? No way!"

"Personally I think they're way into themselves," Ray waved. "I mean look at me, my parents threw me out of the house before anyone even knew what a mutant was. I lived in a sewer with the Morlocks for a while…"

"Not to mention a few disastrous relationships," Roberto pointed out. "The whole Tabitha/Amara thing? Dude you had them fighting like cats and dogs for weeks." (1)

"Yeah, but at least I didn't drag it out for years like Kitty did," Ray told him. "And Tabby forgot all about me once she started going out with you, Sam."

"Too bad Kitty didn't," Sam snickered.

"Tell me about it," Ray groaned. "It was weeks before she spoke to me again and then I realized how good I had it when she wasn't!"

"They do complain a lot don't they?" Sam asked.

"Yup," Ray nodded. "Like I always say, nine times out of ten if a kid complains about angst he doesn't have any real angst."

"Since when do you always say that?" Roberto asked.

"You know what I mean," Ray rolled his eyes.

"What about Rogue and Kurt?" Sam asked. "I mean if anybody's got a right to mope a bit..."

"Those two are in a catagory all their own," Ray groaned.

"Well at least tonight should be quiet," Everett said hopefully.

"With Scott, Jean, Beast and Angel on a triple date in the mansion?" Ray gave him a look. "Doubt it. They'll find some way to screw it up. And it will end up being a big deal. Trust me on this."

"Come on it can't happen all the time," Everett said.

"You haven't lived here that long," Roberto scoffed. "Five will get you ten it'll happen."

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Soon a very worried Hank was pacing back and forth in front of the doorway to the mansion. "Okay, okay, no reason to get nervous. It's just a date. Just a quiet little dinner and some coffee. Everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine. There is no reason to panic. There is no reason to panic. Students upstairs doing their homework, check. Storm, the Professor and Wolverine watching over the students so that they do their homework and don't spy on us, check. Misfits bribed not to come over and wreck our evening. Check."

"Beast having a nervous breakdown," Warren remarked. "Check." He was wearing a blue turtleneck (slots cut out for his wings of course) and jeans with stylish black shoes.

Hank ignored him. "Shipwreck bribed to not come over and wreck our evening, check. Misfit handlers bribed to lock Shipwreck in his room just in case, check. Lockheed locked in Kitty's room, check. Penny given bright shiny objects to play with in her room, check. The kids given new handheld games to keep them occupied after their homework, check. Forge's lab locked and boarded up for the next three days, double check!"

"Three days?" Warren asked. "Why not for life?"

"The kitchen and dining room table has been set," Hank went on. "The food is done and warming up in the oven. The chocolate pie and tiramisu are chilling in the fridge which is good. And Kitty has not cooked any of it which is very good!"

"She's too depressed over breaking up with Lance to cook," Warren pointed out.

"She should break up with Lance more often," Hank groaned. "Everything has been cleaned and scrubbed and taken care of so that there is no possibility of anything going wrong tonight! Unless Magneto attacks. Or Apocalypse attacks. Or both Magneto and Apocalypse attack at the same time. Or…"

"Beast, you're going to give yourself an anxiety attack," Scott walked in wearing a nice preppy red shirt and tan slacks with black shoes. "And people call me paranoid."

"It's going to be fine," Jean walked in wearing a light green dress with earrings and a necklace. "So relax nothing bad is going to happen."

"Unless both Magneto and Apocalypse decide to attack," Scott added. "Then we're in trouble."

"Scott!" Jean snapped.

"I'm just saying with our track record it could happen," Scott shrugged.

"Oh sweet stars and garters he's right!" Hank moaned.

"Well look at the bright side," Warren thought aloud. "If they do attack at the same time at least they'll fight each other first. You know Magneto would want a rematch."

"True," Scott nodded.

"Will you two knock it off!" Jean snapped. "The odds of those two attacking the mansion at the same time tonight is very slim."

"She's right," Hank said. "The odds of Cobra attacking us tonight are a lot better."

"Or Selene, the FOH and Purity," Warren added. "The Dreadnoks or the Snarks maybe?"

"The Snarks are a bit of a long shot," Hank told him. "Selene just attacked us so she might wait a day or so. The Hellfire Club on the other hand is definitely a contender."

"Don't forget Sinister," Scott continued.

"I think I'm starting to understand why the Professor keeps a bottle of scotch hidden in his desk drawer," Jean groaned. "Can we please try to forget about our enemies for one evening?"

"Yeah I think we have them all covered," Hank sighed. The bell for the school gate rang. "They're here!"

"Just be calm," Scott told Hank and patted him on the shoulder as he went to open the gate using he security system. "It'll be fine. Nothing is going to go wrong."

"Famous last words," Warren remarked.

Scott got the door and there were Trish and Candy. Trish was dressed in an elegant maroon pantsuit with matching shoes and cream colored camisole underneath, looking the picture of elegance. Candy was dressed in jeans, a sequined red and white tube top and high heeled boots. Definitely a clash in styles.

"Hi welcome to the Institute," Scott greeted them. "You both know Jean."

"Hi," Jean said. "You both look nice."

"Thanks," Candy said. "Trish gave me a ride in her car."

"Yes it was an…interesting discussion," Trish smiled sweetly. "Hank when you told me Candy was an actress you didn't mention what films she did."

"I've just finished my latest movie," Candy told them. "Kind of a low budget made for TV thing on the Sci Fi channel. Giant Earthworms Attack Washington DC 2! I played Congressman's Smith's secret girlfriend."

"So you had an oral part? I mean a speaking role," Hank covered up.

"Are you kidding? After the congressmen gets eaten I end up becoming the hero's girlfriend," Candy grinned. "I should be on in two weeks!"

"Great! We should have a movie night to celebrate," Warren grinned as he kissed her.

"I think Trish is ticked off that she doesn't have an exclusive with a rising young star," Jean sent telepathically to Scott.

"You think?" Scott inwardly chuckled at the joke. "So what do you think of Candy?"

"I like her. Her mind is genuinely open and honest. Trish on the other hand, well…she's not exactly against mutants. That doesn't bother her. And she does like Hank…"

"But…"

"I think in the long run Trish will do what's best for Trish," Jean admitted.

"That's what I was afraid of…"

"Let's not tell Hank. There are some things people should find out on their own."

"Yeah we tried that with Lance, Kitty and Peter and look what happened."

"Exactly," Jean nodded. Then she noticed everyone was looking at them. "What?"

"You were doing it again," Hank had a smirk on his face.

"Doing what?" Candy asked.

"Having a telepathic chat," Warren grinned. "Sometimes Jean and Scott go off into their own little world."

"Is it that obvious?" Scott asked.

"Oh yes," Hank snickered.

"Wait Scott's telepathic too?" Candy asked.

"No, it's just that Jean and I have this bond…" Scott began. "It's kind of hard to explain."

"Like you're soul mates or something and can tell what each other is feeling?" Candy asked.

"Well yeah…" Jean admitted.

"So what were you saying about us?" Candy raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing uh…" Jean began. "We don't mean to exclude anyone it just…"

"Sometimes thoughts happen," Scott covered. "We were kind of talking about Kitty and…"

"Say no more, we've heard enough about Kitty!" Warren held up his hand.

"What about Kitty?" Trish asked.

"She and Lance finally broke up for good the other day," Jean explained, relieved that Scott thought of a good cover. "It's like of one of those long soap opera teenage romances things that everyone over 21 hates."

"Sounds like half of the movies I work on," Candy rolled her eyes.

"Well I don't know about the rest of you but I am starving," Hank clapped his hands. "Who's up for a nice quiet dinner?"

"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD COLOSSUS!" The sound of Logan screaming could be heard. "NOT THE VELOCITY TOO!"

"Logan's very passionate about his vehicles," Hank covered. "You know the type. Every little dent just gets him out of shape."

"Is it always this loud around here?" Candy was surprised.

"Actually it's kind of quiet tonight," Scott admitted as they walked into the kitchen.

"It is," Trish told her. "I've been here before. It can get pretty weird around here."

"Don't mind me…" Kitty was already in the kitchen. "Just getting more ice cream!" She opened the freezer. "OKAY WHO ATE ALL MY CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE DOUGH? WHOEVER DID IT IS DEAD! DEAD I TELL YOU!"

"Let me guess? Breakup?" Candy asked.

"However did you know?" Kitty rolled her eyes.

"Besides the fact that we just heard about it?" Trish asked.

"Tattletale," Candy remarked.

"I guess your tongue is unfrozen now huh?" Jean smirked.

"Unfrozen?" Candy asked.

"Sometimes Bobby likes to play practical jokes that are only funny to him," Kitty explained grabbing some more ice cream. "Don't worry I'll be out of here in a second."

"Fine, no more popping in and I mean that literally," Scott warned.

"Popping in?" Candy asked.

"That happens a lot," Trish said. "I remember the last time I set up for an interview here with the X-Men and the Misfits."

"I don't remember seeing that," Candy said.

"That's because the piece was cancelled when some demons popped up from another dimension during the interview," Trish groaned.

"Technically it was only one demon and Peter's sister," Kitty said. "People don't really just pop in here all the time."

At that exact moment a black hole opened underneath her feet. "WHOA!" Kitty screamed as she fell through it.

"KITTY!" Jean shouted. Suddenly another hole appeared behind her. A purple mutant with purple hair and a brown dress appeared and grabbed her from behind. A large hulking mutant grabbed Scott as well and dragged them in before they could react.

Instinctively Hank grabbed Trish and leapt towards the roof just as another portal opened up to swallow up Candy and Warren. He barely got out of the way of another portal where he saw the familiar face of Sunder of the Morlocks reach for him.

"Can't get him!" Sunder shouted.

"We've got enough of 'em!" Someone shouted. "Close it Portal!" The hole closed.

"Hank! What was that?" Trish yelled as she clung to Hank as they landed on the floor.

"Our nice peaceful dinner date going down the drain," Hank grumbled.

"What happened now?" Logan ran in with Everett, Roberto, Bobby and Sam. He sniffed the air. "Wait a minute…I know that stench…"

"We were all just standing here talking and then all of the sudden this…this hole opens up and then some mutants showed up and grabbed Warren, Kitty, Jean, Scott and Candy!" Trish babbled.

"Not just any mutants," Logan narrowed his eyes. "Morlocks. They were kidnapped by Morlocks."

"Morlocks," Hank groaned. "I knew I had forgotten someone!"

Roberto turned to Everett. "You owe me ten bucks."

For those of you who don't remember, the little spat Ray was referring to started way back in The Misfit Chronicles and continued up to The Trouble With Teleportation.

Here's the quick version: Tabitha caught Ray looking at Kitty and Ray inferred that Kitty was flirting with him even though he wasn't. After dumping Ray Tabitha decided to get back at Kitty by jumping in a pool topless with a poor confused Peter. Kitty saw this and jumped to the wrong conclusion breaking up with Peter and then getting back together with Lance. Ray moved on to Amara which put a strain on Amara's and Tabitha's friendship as well as putting a strain on the repair costs for the mansion. Tabitha blamed this on Kitty as well so she chased after Peter in order to get back at Kitty. Of course Kitty went out with Lance to get back at Peter. And Peter spent several hours banging his head on the wall wondering how he got into this mess in the first place.

During a therapy session it all came out that Ray was the real cause of the problems when he was caught lusting after Althea. Both Tabitha and Amara made up by beating the snot out of Ray. Kitty forgave Tabitha because she was too distracted by her feelings for both Peter and Lance. Well that and because it was easier to blame Ray and take her frustrations out on him. Eventually Tabitha moved on to Sam. Amara moved on to Roberto. Ray moved out of the infirmary. Xavier moved to a stronger brand of aspirin. And the members of the construction industry moved to a higher tax bracket thanks to all the repair work they had to do to fix the mansion after all this.

Simple huh?

Next: What do the Morlocks want with the X-Men? You won't believe it…