Weeo another update, Gaara is so confused haha :o(.

I don't even watch anime at all anymore-but I still feel connection to some character in this series. (GaaHidan is still hot as hell.)

It's Friday and I've been skipping school for the last three days after the time that Hidan violated me. Kankuro had to get up early for work these days which I'm grateful for, making it possible for me to not have to get back to that fucking douchebag of crush I have.

I don't understand myself; I'm like one of those stupid girls you see on the movies.

I still have feelings for Hidan even though I hate him for what he did. I must be drawn to make my life more miserable.

I put my hand on my sore throat and squeezed my eyes together at the pain when coughed.. I haven't told anyone about it.

I know I could have reported him, but a part of me didn't want to do that to him.

I sat up on my bed and watched out through my window, listening to small sounds of crashing raindrops against the glass. The gloomy dark gray of the sky felt like a solace for my psyche as I felt like I melted into it. It was a perfect day- I thought.

I had been isolating myself for what it felt like was ages. Only lying in my bed.

I hadn't been eating or showering and I avoided leaving my room if I didn't had to.

I haven't even changed clothes or put make-up on my face.

My hands found their way through my greasy hair that felt damped by the fat and suddenly everything that had to do with me staying in my room got me fed up. I flung up from my bed with a self-annoyance as I cursed my way into the bathroom.

I got undressed and soon my body was exposed to the chilly air that lingered around.

I looked at my arms that had gotten goose bumps and then into the mirror.

As I examined my body, my thoughts wondered off to Hidan.

I wonder if he'd think I was pretty… If I was a girl I mean. I tried to snap away from my thoughts, since it felt fucking ridiculous thinking like that. I narrowed my none-existing eyebrows and stepped into the shower and the heat of the water stung since I wasn't used to it.

My fingertips brushed of my lips that had been touched by my crush and I felt my heart thumping as Hidan once again respassed in my head.

I pictured his cock infront of me, which I never though I would get to see and I couldn't help but to feel excitement bubbling up in my body.

I clenched my fist to my chest and thought about how things could have been different between us and it hurt. Everything about him hurts me, I fucking hate the guy for doing this to me.

I sat down in the shower and poured up a nice puddle of shampoo in my hand as I started to wash my hair whilst the water still poured at me.

I stared down at my member which had hardened without my notice.

"Get back to sleep again you little prick.." I mumbled in a hiss. Then I huffed as I caught myself calling my dick small.

I started to soap my body and the mind drifted away and I fantasized that it was not my hands that washed me. I leaned back to the cold clinker walls and the hands that weren't mine felt so smooth and care-taking.

"If you even fucking give a little thought of touching him you're a dead man, he's my victim!" echoed in my head and it felt almost romatic in a way. Hida had said that I was his property…

I found my hands fingering their way at my cock, which felt ever so sensitive. I'm Hidans. I'm Hidans- I repeated to myself, it filled me with a lust that made me feverish. I gave out softly moans as I stroked my yearning dick. If only it had been in his mouth..

My length throbbed as I stroked it faster, imagining that Hidans tongue were playing around it.

I felt almost like crying, I was so confused, but it felt so good.

My other hands index-finger went down to the skin around my anal and my breathing got even more intense. I laid down on the floor and let the finger find it's way inside me as I played with my cock.

I closed my eyes and picture him on top of me, his ripped naked body and his cute pink nipples I've seen when he took off his shirt in school.

"Fuck me harder Hidan.. I want you to fill me.." I pleaded quietly to my fantasies and the vision of him grinned, but he did as I commanded.

"You're my dirty fucking whore aren't you, ginger boy." I could hear him say in my head, and I answered with commitment.

I started to moan louder as I rocked with my hips and then the sensation filled me vigorously as my semen found it's way outside my cock.

My body shivered and twitched as I cried out the pleasure I felt.

The vision of my bully vanished and I laid there on the floor, starting to feel regret.

I began to tear up and sniffled while I let the shower wash away my naught. I rubbed my teary eyes and cried to myself.

"I'm so fucking stupid."

End of chap 3.