Damon's POV

"Then I guess you better start explaining."

I said in an angry tone. Why was it so important for him to turn me or moreover force me to turn into a vampire? Wasn't I better off dead? If the girl I loved was dead what was the point of me becoming a vampire? Was it his brotherly love that he forced me to turn? What was it that gave him the right to force me into something against my will?

"Speak"

I said getting angrier. Had he lost his tongue and his voice at my sight or what was the reason he wasn't speaking? I was getting frustrated at his silence.

"Your silence is deafening, brother."

I said in an agitated tone. Why was he testing my patience? He couldn't see that I was losing my mind already. I wish I could get him to speak and tell him why he did what he thought was right for me and not let me follow my own choice. I wish I had an answer for that but unfortunately my mind was like wiped clean of any memories of that time so what he and Elena were telling me was what I was living at. It felt like I had no life of my own. I had become a puppet that was controlled either by Elena or by my so called brother. I had enough it was high time that I had taken control over my life again. I needed to know and remember the past so that I wasn't driven by what other people were saying to me and telling me. I had no way to check how much of it was true or was there any truth in it or was I being fed lies by this girl who claimed to love me and this brother of mine since my life was a clean slate. I didn't know who I was or what I was. I had to depend on these people and their so called truths. I wasn't aware how much of their story was real or was it completely untruthful.

"So…that's how you explain everything, huh. Great work, keep up the performance, Stefan."

I clapped my hands and rolled my eyes. So I was right there was no truth in anything they told me was there now I thought. I didn't know why Stefan was acting like his tongue was taken by a devil. I was so sure that he was going to tell me everything but with the things unravelling in front of my I'm not that sure of it anymore. I in fact am doubting whether or not he's gonna tell me everything like he said. With a sigh I started to move and get away from him that's when his hand stopped me.

Stefan's POV

I was trying to push not having to answer his questions till I had no other choice but to tell him about it. I wasn't trying to make him angry or angrier. If that had happened I am not to blame. It was never my intention to piss him off. He didn't know who he was or what he was doing here. And I of all people knew how that felt. I had been in that state for quite a lot of time. It not only angers you that you can't remember who you are and people tell you different types of stories and you're not sure what to believe in and what not to. I knew that very well and that's why I had burned my old journals because I didn't want to be the person in them.

Looking at my brother or whoever this person was without memory of how he became who he is or what he was doing here, I was frozen. I couldn't utter a word out of the new found fear I had for this man who was in my brother's meat suit but wasn't my brother. He was a guy with a clean slate, only to be filled by the truths that Elena and I were able to tell him. We were trying to make him feel a part of the family that he had left after mother and father had died. Well father was his fault but their mother had died of Tuberculosis. So the Salvatore brothers were the family that was left. They had uncles who had died or were killed somehow. But why am I thinking of this when I should be thinking of what to tell this guy who's asking me to speak. I needed to come up with answer that would satisfy his needs for now. I didn't know how to summarize the whole life in words that weren't too harsh for him or how to tell him of what I know. I kept pushing him-I could see he was getting angry at me for not answering but well I needed to know what I was going to tell him before I spoke. I could feel his clapping sending cold chills down my spine. Every clap was making me move a step closer to the fear that loomed over me. I wasn't aware of what my brother could do anymore.

When he started going away I thought whatever I had in my mind was sufficient for his queries for now so I grabbed his hand forcing him to turn to face me. I could see the anger in his eyes. His blue eyes had veins popped out and his sclera was red. I could see his blood shot eyes and it scared me because at this point I had no idea what my brother could do.

"I-didn't wanna be alone Damon."

I start out with the facts that he probably knows but I don't care if he hears it again from me because well it was the truth. I wasn't lying about anything. Whatever was coming out of my mouth was nothing but the complete truth and Damon needed to know that. Well how could I tell him that what I was saying was the truth but I knew I couldn't stop? So I continued after letting out a sigh. As I relived my own history in parts that I was telling him.

"I had just killed our father and in that process I had found myself among the creatures that had an eternity of a lifetime. And well I didn't wanna spend it all alone. I guess I needed my brother."

I told him trying to avoid making a direct eye connection. I still had to tell him about Katherine and our dispute with her. And moreover what happened when I told our father about it. I had to find courage to retell him history that was too way in the past but without the whole history he wouldn't be able to find himself.

I cleared my throat and told him about everything starting with how he left the Confederacy to be able to spend more time with Katherine and how it upset father. I told him everything that Katherine had compelled us to forget and how she manipulated us into keeping her secret. I also told him how I betrayed his trust when I told our father about Katherine being a vampire indirectly. I told him each and everything-including the words that he had told me about making my life miserable. I knew I could have omitted that part but well I was trying to come clear to him. I was trying to get him to trust me but well I couldn't say what was going on in his mind. I had known him the longest but yet I couldn't tell what was going on with him.

I had told him everything that had happened in the past years-how Elena had become a vampire and how Elena and I had broken up because of the sire bond. How they had gotten through that and then through the loss of Jeremy? How the cure was forced to Katherine? And how he didn't notice for three months that I was missing but later did rescue me? I told him everything to the point of Katherine's death. If he had heard what Elena had said and what I said he would have found similarities in our speech which meant that we both were telling him the real thing and not something that was made up.

Damon's POV

I was hearing to every word that came out of his mouth and wondered how much of it was really true or was it all a made up story. But then it struck to me that Elena had also told me the same story in different words-the story was the same. So either both of them were lying or both of them were telling the truth. I had a hard time deciding who was lying and who was telling the truth.

I kept repeating Stefan's words in my mind to hope that they would start to seep inside my brain and make sense to me. But I found that the more I thought of Stefan's words about my past, and how I was turned and about this Katherine girl the angrier I got. Though I had no memory of Katherine or my father but listening to how we were killed made me lose my temper.

I didn't realize that I had hit my brother until I heard a crash and when I turned to see what it was; I realized that it was my brother crashing against the cupboard in the opposite direction. Who was I turning into? Was I turning bad or being bad was me? I had no fucking idea. It was like I was a completely blank slate. Being bad and hurting my brother felt like the right thing to do and was making me feel more myself so I thought of continuing the bad side of myself. Maybe that way I would get my old life back if that was possible. I used my vamp speed to my fallen brother. I hit him hard as he was just getting up and he crashed into the same cupboard he had crashed earlier breaking it-I guess.

Stefan's POV

Here I was telling him about his own history and the next minute I am crashing in my own cupboard. That's not fair. If you can't bear to listen to your past then don't and leave, this isn't the way for you to react. Why are you hitting me? Okay maybe I am a teeny bit responsible for turning you but that's all.

"All the pain in the world won't change what had happened in the past, brother"

"Yeah but it will make me feel better."

He said before hitting me again. I let him hit me; I thought maybe-maybe if he kept hitting me he may remember what he meant to me or what he was. I wasn't wanting to him back because that may have just pissed him off more. I looked at him as he kept hitting me. What was he trying to prove? Was he taking his anger of something I had no idea of? I wanted to help him but how does one help someone when one doesn't know what's wrong.

"Feel better now, brother?"

Brother!? What was trying to do, piss him off even more so that he would hit me harder? Was that what I was trying to do? I wasn't even sure what I had planned in my mind. I was never sure of what he had on his mind but then I wasn't even sure of what I had on my mind let alone anyone elses.

Damon's POV

"Feel better now brother"

What was I supposed to say to that? Yes, no, maybe-what was he wanting to hear from me? I will say that just to make you shut up about it. As hard as it was to handle this no remembering phase the continuous pestering about it. I wasn't feeling better and nothing could make me feel better now. I didn't even know who I was let alone who these people were or where I was. Come and live my life for a small bit Stefan and see if you can handle it.

"NO"

I said in an angered tone. I was getting mad at him, his words, his actions and everything. I hit him again, hoping that hitting him would give me the power that I was missing over my life. I needed to be in control of my life or at least my own actions. I needed to remember for my sake. I needed to know before this thing would eat me alive if that was possible but I needed to get hold of my life before getting consumed into what my life had been and all.

I pushed him into the opposite direction, making him bang on the wall there. Let's hope he gets hurt badly. I thought. I was finding pleasure in this. What was wrong with me or was I like this? Who knows? Well I don't but he does.

"Stop it"

He says as he hits the wall.

"Or what huh?"

I said in an angered tone. There was nothing he could have done to stop me. I was stronger than him and with anger boiling inside me my strength had been increased. I didn't know why my brother was weak we both were vampires so what was it that made my brother weaker. Questions would keep boiling inside my mind but nothing could make me come at peace with them. No matter how much I wanted to get answers for them, but it seemed like I was only being fed lies. Lies that sounded like there were truth in them but I wasn't sure what to believe and what not to. All of it sounded like a pile of crap.

"Just stop it, Damon. This isn't who you are and for one you're not that violent."

"But this feels so good, Stef."

Why would I tell him that I feel more in control of my life when I was hitting him? I couldn't let him know that no matter what.

"You need to stop it, Damon. It's not you-it's not what you are brother."

"Now you're gonna tell me what I am and what I am not. Huh brother?"

"You need to trust me."

"Trust you. You?"

"Yes trust me that's not hard to comprehend. Is it now?"

"I wouldn't trust you. For all I know you could be spinning a spool of lies right?"

"Wrong. You need to trust me because I know who you are."

"Oh Really?"

"Yes"

"So tell me who I am"

I say as I hit him again,

"First brother, stop hitting me because that's not who you are. You need to stop."

"I need to stop huh? You need to quit saying that or else."

I hit him hard knocking him against the wall again. Why was that wall being so friendly to me as to hit my brother over and over again? Every time I hit my brother that helpful wall would be there to make sure that my brother hit it. I made my way and put my hand in his chest.

"Elena"

He called out in a muffled voice.

Please Review. I would really like to know what you think of this story. This is my first Fanfcition ever so I can't help but be proud of it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I am writing it or even more.