The entire point of my trip to the shooting range was to figure out where I stood on my relationship with Thane, and now a whole new element was added into it. I was so thankful that I did not possess drell solipsism, I didn't think I would be able to face Thane reliving the memories of the rendezvous I just had with Garrus. I could still feel my heart racing and where his arms were wrapped around my waist. While I didn't want the moment to end, I knew that I needed to meet with Thane at the café.
I approached the entrance of Zakera Café and began to look for Thane in the dimly lit areas against the back wall. Not seeing him in the immediate area, I took a deep breath and realized that I would still have a few moments to collect myself before being in his presence. The thought of being so close to Thane brought back that overwhelming feeling of being needed by someone whose days were numbered the same as mine, and the guilt of the moment that had just been stolen by Garrus.
Everything felt so right when I was in my cabin with Thane, not at all how I had pictured the moment from the information that Mordin had provided me. It was freeing seeing someone who had such a cool exterior let his walls down enough to let someone so unfamiliar in. He had told me so much about his life with Irika and Kolyat, told me so much about going through life on autopilot and turning off his emotional self. I never spoke about my personal life with Thane, and let my body tell him what I was feeling for him.
"Siha? Are you lost in a memory?" Thane had walked up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder startling me from deep thought. "My apologies for keeping you waiting, my conversation with Kolyat was more intense than I initially foresaw." He let a quiet smile come across his lips as he reached for my hand. I paid attention to way he intertwined his fingers with mine, something that ordinarily would seem so simple felt so intricate with him.
Feeling this intimate with him was going to cause me to lose the grip I had on my feelings. I could sense everything inside me wanting to come forth, wanting to spew all the deep pitted emotions that I had perfected in swallowing. I wrapped both arms around Thane and peered into his dark eyes. I wanted to confess what I was feeling for Garrus and tell him that I didn't know what I was doing, but I was so fearful that I would lose someone that meant so much to me. I had already fought so hard to keep from losing anyone when we battled the collectors, I wasn't trying to push someone away not knowing how much time the galaxy or I had left.
"I was thinking, what if we take a trip to Omega? I know it's not the classiest of locations but Aria owes me, and I feel like calling in a favor." I had to do something to take my mind off this ensuing love triangle. If I was alone with Thane, I was going to confess the feelings I had for Garrus and I wasn't sure of the direction that conversation needed to take yet. Omega was perfect; there was always a high crime rate and a mission worth accomplishing. Aria did owe me a night out in the V.I.P. since fixing her little problem with the Ardakt Yakshi and the plague. It was the perfect place to take my mind off things since the shooting range idea had failed so miserably.
"As you wish Siha. I shall accompany you to Omega. But first I feel that I must speak with you about certain issues."
"Thane, you know that I have so much going on. We just beat the collectors, I have the alliance asking me to come in for questioning, and…" I really don't want to do this here and now.
"Garrus." Thane saying his name cut me in a way that I was not prepared for. Did he know about the incident at the shooting range?
"I know that Garrus has a tendency to shoot off his mouth but you just need to blow him off. He's nothing to worry about."
"His mouth alone is not what concerns me. What he does with it on the other hand…"
"Thane, I..."
"No need to explain, Garrus has made it quite clear that he has an emotional connection with you and he intends to explore the potential for a relationship."
"I have an emotional connection with Garrus, yes. He is the closest thing I have had to a friend in a long time and he has never questioned why I think, feel, or react the way I do." I needed to go. I shifted my weight from my right foot to my left and pulled my hand from his. I needed some simplicity in my life, and this was far from it.
"Siha, let's return to the Normandy. Your skin is becoming flushed and bystanders are beginning to take notice of our discussion. I do not wish to cause you discomfort. I believe that the three of us may need to have a conversation away from prying eyes."
"Thank you." I began the trek back to the Normandy as Thane followed behind me. I had a limited amount of time before the three of us would be behind closed doors trying to amicably solve a love triangle that I had been trying to avoid in the first place. I turned Garrus down to ensure that things would be simple, and it seems to have only made things more complicated.