((This chapter heading is a line from the song End of Time by Lacuna Coil. This chapter whacked me over the head, threw me over its shoulder, and ran away with me.))

3. Reeling From My Instincts

'Loki. Loki?'

Something touched his chest, and Loki positively jumped upright, suddenly on high alert. For a moment, the unfamiliar room added to his distress, then he registered Thor before him, Thor's hands on his bare arms, Thor's eye full of concern. 'If I didn't know better, I'd say you were having a nightmare.'

'Don't ask.' Loki wiped a hand over his face. 'Thanks for waking me.'

'I was going to anyway. It's almost noon, but I was reluctant to disturb you. You seemed to need it.'

Absently, he nodded. 'Your eye looks better. If it's still hurting, I may be able to help a bit more now.'

Thor's smile was so genuine, Loki almost couldn't stop himself from running a thumb over his lips. 'Thanks, I'm good.'

'I'm still a bit flustered by that dream, you know. I could use another hug.'

Thor either missed the amusement in his tone, or he played along. Whichever it was, he sat beside Loki and pulled him close. 'Better?'

'Better.'

'You said don't ask, but I've got to. What the hell did you dream?'

Loki swallowed. 'That Thanos killed you.' He pulled away a bit and cupped Thor's face. 'Make sure that doesn't happen, would you?'

Thor didn't answer. Instead he leaned closer and pressed his lips to Loki's.

He had, in his youth especially, wondered what it would be like. Somehow, in his head, it had never been anything close to gentle, him and Thor together. But for all his I-am-the-God-of-Thunder-routine, his lips were touching his in a caress that was … well, certainly not brotherly, but wonderfully tender. He pulled away far too soon. 'Stop thinking for a minute and kiss me back already,' Thor said.

Lips twitching into a smile he knew outraged Thor, he did him one better. He brought his hands to Thor's neck and kissed him with all the fire he had. His fingers grappled at the short hair on Thor's head. He only ended the kiss when he was starting to feel lightheaded with lack of air. 'Tell me you'll let your hair grow out.'

'I was planning to.' Thor smiled at him, their noses almost touching. 'Why? You want to do this?' Strong fingers tangled in Loki's hair, tugging gently, pulling his head back to expose his throat. Soft lips kissed the sensitive flesh there, trailing down to his collarbone. The only answer Loki managed was a soft groan. If Thor had meant to wake him up for any other purpose, it would have to wait. It had taken so long for him to feel his brother this way, and now he wouldn't let him interrupt this before they'd both had a real taste of what that would be like. 'So,' Thor breathed against his skin. 'How do you want this, Loki? Preferences?'

'Yeah. One. You.' He let himself be pressed into the mattress. He was usually quick to take charge in a tryst, but he couldn't muster up the strength. Maybe because he was still so drained from all that had happened. Maybe because this was the first time he actually trusted the one he was with. His eyes closed, he let Thor explore him with fingers and tongue, moving slowly but steadily downwards until he reached his pants. He sensed Thor's hesitation and opened one eye. 'Cockshy?'

Thor faltered. 'Is that even a word?'

'Yes. Yes, it's a word. You find it in any good dictionary right after get-on-with-it.' Thor grinned in a manner that made his eyes go wide. 'I know mischief when I see it, Thor. I'm officially worried.' The other man didn't answer. Instead, he nibbled at Loki through his briefs, giving him less than what he wanted but enough to drive him half crazy. Loki watched him, mesmerised, watched a moist patch of mixed saliva and precum grow on the fabric. He tried to get some friction, but Thor held his hips down and all Loki could do was to close his eyes and let himself fall.

'Finally,' Thor said and came back up to kiss him, covering him with his warm body. 'Hi, Loki. You're a sight to behold.' For a moment, Loki worried that his illusion had failed, but he hadn't turned blue when he opened his eyes. 'You don't have to guard yourself. Not with me. Can you stop thinking now?'

'Is that how you want to get me to be your equal? By turning me into an instinct driven animal like yourself?' Somehow, he didn't sound derisive. And somehow, he was glad about that.

Thor rolled off him, and Loki missed the heat he radiated. But then the God of Thunder was pulling off Loki's last bit of clothing. At some point before he must have shed his briefs because he was presented to Loki in all his glory, and oh, was he beautiful. He reached out and closed his hand around his shaft. He was barely able to do so. 'Oh, you're thick,' he said.

'Think you can take me?' Thor's tone and expression suggested that this was a serious question rather than swagger.

'Only one way to find out.' Loki shifted to a better position on the bed and let his legs fall apart.

'Ah … I need to find some sort of lubricant.'

'No. No, you really don't. What do you think I learned magic for?'

'I am really trying not to imagine mother teaching you that.'

'Fool. Come on, Thor, I'm going mad here. I'm not made of glass and I'm not a virgin. I can take you. Give it.'

'I don't want to hurt you.'

'Now who's overthinking it? Get here.' He sat up. 'On second thought …' He pushed Thor on his bed with enough vehemence to surprise him. 'If you won't, I will.' He straddled him, hands on his chest and a grin on his face, and placed Thor's cock at his entrance. Without hesitation, he pushed down, slowly but constantly. 'I've got a bit more control over my body than some tiny human girl, Thor. You won't hurt me.'

Thor's answer was a groan and his hands settling on Loki's thighs. 'Slow down, I want to last a bit longer than three seconds.'

Loki's wild grin turned into something softer and he bent down to kiss Thor. He felt his strong arms coming around him, holding him close. 'I'll admit it: This is better.'

'Much.' Thor's eye closed when Loki set a slow rhythm. He pressed his face in the crook of his partner's neck and inhaled deeply, convincing himself that he wasn't having an elaborate dream. Thor was moaning underneath him with every rocking motion, restricting Loki's mobility on top of him with his arms hugging him tightly. 'Better than I thought.'

Loki brought his lips to Thor's ear. 'What did you think, then? That I'd be selfish? Brutal?'

Thor released his tight hold on him and pushed him far enough away to be able to take his face into his hands. 'Distant. I thought you'd be distant, Loki. Because I didn't think you'd let yourself feel anything positive. I'm glad I was wrong.'

'How d'you know?'

'You should see your face, then you'd know.' Thor cupped Loki's butt and encouraged his movements, groaning and undulating beneath him. 'Trade places with me?'

Loki was half reluctant to agree. The feeling of Thor filling him was intensely beautiful and he wasn't sure he'd had enough quite yet. But he did want to know what being inside him would feel like, and he also, apparently, couldn't deny him anything. With a sigh, Loki slid off him and pushed his legs open. 'Got lube in here?'

'Yes, I had nothing else in mind when we were running from Surtur.'

'Good! Where? Hey, don't hit me!'

Thor grinned at him. 'In your mouth?'

'Not sufficient. Ah, well, I'll have to take care of everything, as usual.'

'Top ten sentences I'd rather not hear from you.'

'Shut up.' With a blink, he was in the kitchen. The few people in here were oblivious to his presence, unable to see the naked man who had suddenly appeared in their midst. When he found what he looked for, he returned. Only moments had passed.

'Did you just scare everyone in the galley?'

'Scare them? I would have blinded them with my magnificence, if anything. More importantly, I have this. Not ideal, but better than spit.' Loki climbed the bed, and Thor laughed.

'You move like a cat. A particularly lascivious cat.'

'Thor. Shut up.' Loki poured some oil into his hand and began massaging Thor's hole. That, at last, wiped the laughter from his face. 'You're better at relaxing than I thought. You really have done this before, haven't you?'

'I've done a lot of things before, Loki. I got drunk, I picked fights, and I had sex. All that without you.'

Loki looked up from his work for a moment. 'You say that as if they're supposed to be done in that order.'

'Not always. The better the company, the more unnecessary the first two are.'

There was a question burning in the back of Loki's head, but he wasn't going to ask it.

Thor clicked his tongue. 'Come on, say it.'

'What?' Loki pushed inside with two fingers now, deep enough to brush over the little bump inside him. Thor gasped and closed his eye. 'You were saying something?'

Thor remained silent until Loki had three fingers inside him that were sliding in and out of him easily. Then he captured his hand. 'This'll do. And I want to know what you were thinking before. I can't read your mind, but I can read your face, and I want you to bloody open up to me.'

Loki leaned over him, brushing their lips together. 'It was of absolutely no consequence.'

'Spill.'

'I'm going to. Right inside you.'

'Talk, Loki. Please.'

It was that last that did it. 'Jane. I wondered which of the first two steps you needed for Jane.'

'You can't possibly be jealous.'

'I'm not. Not anymore.' He had been. Fiercely. It was a miracle that Thor hadn't caught that.

'I did kind of get in a fight.'

'Thor.'

'Huh?'

'I told you to shut up before.' Loki covered his mouth with his hand for good measure. Thor's eyes crinkled at the corners with mirth, and he couldn't help smiling back. 'I hate you.'

Thor pushed his wet tongue against Loki's palm, startling him enough to remove it. 'Liar,' he said.

Loki wiped his hand on Thor's chest, eliciting another chuckle. With a forced serious expression, Loki aligned himself. 'Ready?'

'More than.'

He was cautious when he slipped inside. Too cautious. Thor grabbed his butt and pulled him close with one quick motion. Loki groaned and squeezed his eyes shut trying not to come undone at once. 'I hate you,' he said again.

'I love you, Loki.'

And just like that, all the problems he'd carried with him fell away. It had all lingered at the back of his head, the fighting between them, the rivalry that had seemed so unsurmountable, all they had done and said to each other in anger. Loki had his eyes fixed on Thor's face as he … well, made love to him, there was no better word in any other language. A thumb brushed over his face, right under his eyes, catching tears he hadn't even noticed. 'Hi, Loki,' Thor said again. 'Is that you now? The real you without the armour?'

Loki nodded. 'Yeah. This is me.' He narrowed his eyes. 'I'll show you what you get for bringing me to tears.' He pushed Thor's legs back, opening him up further, and set a pace that he knew would end him soon. Thor, too, by the sounds he made and by the way his balls were taut against his body. Loki released one leg and grabbed Thor's cock instead, pumping him in time with his eager thrusts. 'Are you good?'

'Never better. Yes, right there.' Thor's remaining eye was staring at him, as if he couldn't look away. Sweat was running down from his forehead over his temples, his hair wet already. Loki wasn't any more composed than him, dark hair falling beside his face, curling at the ends in the humidity of their coupling. Every muscle in Thor's body was tense, a tremor starting in his legs as he tried to hold out longer. Loki crashed his mouth against Thor's, his tongue plundering him, his pace unrelenting and his thrusts deep and intense. Thor's moans became louder, loud enough to be heard outside, but he didn't care, couldn't care. Instead, he interrupted their kiss. And he got what he hoped he would. Thor came, shouting his name, hands digging into his hips, shuddering, shaking, squeezing, and Loki buried his head in his neck and followed with something that was almost a wail.

It took a while before Loki managed to start thinking again. Through the haze in his head, something started to pinch his mind, some sound, insistent and annoying. 'What in the name …'

'Communication.'

'Don't you want to get it?'

'You're still on me. And in me.'

'Want me to let you go?'

'Not particularly. It'll be recorded and I like having you here like that.'

There was a beep, then a soft voice spoke. 'Thor? Thor … it sounds as if you're fighting. Do you need assistance?'

Loki closed his eyes. 'I hate that piece of rock.'

'I hope you don't hate him the way you hate me.'

Loki offered a rueful smile and a whack on his upper arm as he pulled out of him. 'No. I don't hate anyone quite like you.'

'You still can't say it, huh? You don't have to. I know anyway.'

'Thor? Please answer. We are wondering how to open that door. If you could help us …'

Loki pointed at the door. 'He isn't going to go away, is he?'

'Nope.'

'Get rid of him.'

Chuckling, Thor stood and walked to the com-panel. Mesmerised, Loki watched the trail of his semen trickle down between Thor's legs. 'Korg … There's no fighting, I'm good. Get lost. Night.'

'It's not night, it's past …'

'Korg! I'm turning this off now. We'll talk later. Much later.' He didn't wait for an answer but turned the device off. He returned to Loki who still stood beside his bed, probably looking as lost as he felt. Thor pulled him close, and he let himself be embraced. 'Even if you can't say it, I'll just assume that you'll stay. With me.'

Loki rested his chin on Thor's shoulder and smiled. 'At this point, you'd have to throw me out of an airlock to get rid of me.'

'Not happening.'

'In that case, welcome to our future, brother.'

'Loki …'

He squeezed the man in his arms. 'It's a good thing that we're not related, Thor, but to me that word never meant do-not-touch. It means belonging together. It means our paths and fates being entwined forever. It means knowing each other better than ourselves. It means … yes, Thor, it means loving each other. Just not in such a restricted way as it usually means.'

'Loki?'

'What?' He looked at his brother, at the mirth on his face. Then strong hands cupped his butt and a small jolt of electricity went through him as his cheeks were squeezed. 'Did you just God-of-Thunder me? On purpose?'

'Mhm.'

He looked down between them, seeing Thor half hard. 'Again?'

'Mhm.'

'Because I said …'

'Mhm.'

'I'll have to be more careful.'

Grinning now, Thor steered him to the bed until his knees hit the edge and he sat. 'Mhm.'

'We're not going to leave the room any time soon, are we?'

'M-m.' Thor pushed his shoulders, and Loki let himself fall back on the mattress.

Loki's eyes narrowed while Thor crawled over him, but he did open his legs to welcome his brother. 'This is because I told you to shut up.'

Whatever it had been, Thor's ability to keep up his game shattered and he laughed, again, infecting Loki with it. They were both still half laughing when Thor entered him again. And for the first time in too long, Loki truly believed that all would end well.