Author's Note: I swear this fic gets harder to write by the chapter. That doesn't bode well for me... oh well.
The door to the office of the hospital administrator was thrown open with a dull thud.
"Cuddy!"
The woman being addressed in this aggressive manner appeared unfazed, continuing with her paperwork without directing a second glance towards the source of the disturbance.
"Must you always be so dramatic?"
House limped towards her desk and waved the box in front of her face. There was a curious rattling sound as the chocolates inside scraped against the crinkly plastic wrapping within.
This was more than enough to catch Cuddy's attention. She placed her pen down, smirking.
"Wow, House, that's so thoughtful of you. What have I done to deserve this - or should I be asking, what have you done to inspire such a guilty conscience?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing? What then, getting into the Valentine's Day spirit? Next you'll be asking me to help you paint your cane pink or something equally festive."
House repressed a wince at the thought of such a horrendous action, instead settling on glaring at the woman before him. "That's not the response I was looking for either."
"Well what else did you expect, waltzing into my office with an object that looks so grossly out of place in your hand? 'They go with your eyes?'"
"Hmm." House stroked his chin, as if in thought. "How about something along the lines of: 'I see you got my appallingly corny present'?"
It took a few seconds before comprehension began to dawn on Cuddy's face.
"You think I gave you those?"
House let out a theatrical sigh. "I know you want me, but could you try to tone down how you show it?" He dropped his voice to a stage whisper. "People might talk, and you know how jealous Wilson gets."
Lips twitched as a reluctant smile threatened to spread across Cuddy's lips. She picked up her pen and resumed her paperwork.
"Well, you'd better rack your brains for some other secret admirer, because I didn't send them."
"Damn, and I was so sure this was going to lead to some steamy scene involving my ripping open your blouse and-"
"You need to spend a little less time watching those soaps of yours."
"And you need to wear a blouse with fewer buttons. Fair trade?" The retort was quick to jump onto House's lips. He found himself faced with a pair of stony eyes that glared daggers into his. "Good point, I guess it was a bit unfair to me. How about we go with no blouse at all instead?"
Cuddy sighed, gesturing towards the large stack of paper on her desk. "In case you haven't realised, I'm trying to work here. Perhaps you should follow my example and go do something productive too?"
"I suppose that's a 'no', then. Your loss." House turned and limped towards the door, stopping to brandish the box once more in Cuddy's direction. "I'm off to find out who the moron behind this was. Page me if you change your mind."
Cuddy was left to address an empty room and a door that creaked as it swung shut.
"I said something productive!"